Coming off the Ropes
by enahma
Summary: Second part of the complete HDH trilogy. Sequel to Happy Days in Hell. After Harry’s funeral the show must go on for everybody. Not a slash story.
1. Back to life

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Except for the plan and Quietus.  
This is the sequel of Happy Days in Hell. If you haven't read it yet, DON'T GO ON!  
  
I've planned its sketch: there will be 18 chapters.  
  
MANY THANKS FOR MY BEAUTIFUL BETA, kateydidnt, who became my English teacher in the last weeks.  
  
Many thanks for my reviewers who helped me live and continue the story.  
  
NO SLASH, as I've already told you.  
  
About the pairings: you will find them.  
  
This story begins one weeks after the funeral.

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**Chapter 1 - Back to Life**

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Harry was just sitting on the sofa with his Potions' book in his lap, his eyes stared out of the open window (the sofa was turned towards it just after Harry had begun his study-sessions in the living room some days ago), he leaned back comfortably and he was just enjoying life. Sometimes he took a piece of fruit from the table standing next to the sofa, and ate it slowly, trying its taste as if he were tasting it for the first time in his life... Well, really, everything seemed brand-new in his life.

His appearance, his name, his past, his relations, perhaps even his future...

His appearance... He was now much taller than ten days ago, on that fateful evening when Severus took him back to the Snape family. He still had jet-black hair, but instead of being unruly and messy it was smooth and short (it was a really old-fashioned hairstyle but it covered his forehead at least), and he had green eyes but the similarities between his old and new selves ended at this point. His bodily features (he was thin, tall and bony, his skin was quite pale) were inherited from his father, and some of his facial features too: the high cheekbones, and the eyebrows. But otherwise he looked like his mother and other relatives he knew only from photos. It was a little bit shocking when it came out that the trademark Snape features: the skin, the height and the cheekbones were inherited not from his grandfather but his grandmother, from the Noblestone family. The oldest noble pureblood wizarding family in England. When Harry had seen a photo of his grandmother he had to notice that he couldn't neglect the similarities between him and her. Well, his grandmother wasn't a beautiful woman, not at all! - the above mentioned features didn't match for a girl or a woman. Neither for a boy or a man, Harry thought, but beauty or fairness were not such important factors for men than for women... Well, the first time he glanced himself in the mirror he almost went black.

"I look like you," he complained to Snape who was just smirking ironically at him.

"I'd say that you look like your grandmother."

It was just terrible. That he looked like an old, evil woman. He wasn't old, evil or a woman. So he hated his appearance with passion.

In reality Harry didn't exactly look like his grandmother or Snape either.

His name, past and relations... His name was now Quietus Snape, like his father's, and according to the tale invented by Dumbledore himself, he was raised by muggles, his muggle mother's parents, but he wasn't allowed to give any more details to anyone about them so as not to endanger them 'in times like these.' Fortunately. Harry felt that keeping the other information about his new life in his mind was a hard enough task to bother with.

And last but not least, there was Severus, his uncle, pretending now to be his father. They were compelled to behave like father and son from the very moment they had left Hogwarts: Sirius Black was staying at Snape Manor waiting for his friend's recovery.

That had been the second shock in THAT morning (Harry just called it the 'mirror-morning'), that Sirius would be in the same house as him and he wasn't allowed to tell him the truth. Well, Dumbledore was surely right when he explained that Sirius must be kept ignorant of this fact, because if the Ministry decided to accept Severus's testimony or any other testimony about his innocence, they would question him with Veritaserum and it could be dangerous for Harry... 

Not to mention the shock that Snape and Black made not only a truce, but a peace, which Snape longed to withdraw since he knew that Harry was alive, but now it was fortunately impossible.

So Harry had the opportunity to live with the two of them for which he was very grateful. In reality he didn't know either of them. And since he was a little bit familiar with Snape because of their common captivity, Sirius was almost a stranger to him. They hadn't spent almost any time together since the Shrieking Sack's incident and the letters hadn't offered a real possibility to become close to each other. So when Harry had heard that he would live with Sirius until the 1st of September he had become extremely excited and he had been looking forward the common days in Snape Manor. Sirius, however, wasn't talkative or friendly. He just sat in his usual chair for hours staring into space unfocused, not even little Anne was able to snap him out of his daze.

Harry too tried it many times. Sirius seemingly appreciated their concern; nevertheless he didn't take a part in the everyday life of Snape Manor. He greeted everybody politely, he participated in the common meals, but he barely said a word or did anything else. This hurt Harry seriously enough that he sometimes tried to convince Snape to let Black know the secret. Severus always rejected Harry's idea and he was right, Harry knew it, but it was too hard to see the pain it caused every day...

Anne's stirring bucked him up. The little girl was awakening after her usual afternoon nap. She didn't like to sleep alone in a dark room (after all she had experiences similar Harry's and Snape's during the summer), but Sirius generally ignored her wish for him stay with her while she was sleeping. So when Anne discovered after a while that Harry was studying almost every afternoon on the sofa in the living room she soon joined him. The first time she had appeared with her blanket and had asked Harry to stay with him he had become pretty embarrassed. He was a fifteen-year-old boy after all, and he wasn't used to girls' company and certainly not to a seven-year-old's company. But he had let her stay nevertheless and when Snape had told him Anne's story, he had immediately changed his mind and after that, he had done his best to help the girl as much as he could.

"Good afternoon, Anne," he smiled at her warmly. She yawned and stretched.

"Hi, Quiet," she mumbled in a sleepy voice returning the smile.

Quiet. This was the name Severus called him, and the girl learned it from him quickly. When Harry had first heard this pet name he had protested aloud to Snape. 

"Quiet, be quiet. Beh..." he murmured unhappily.

But it had been a mistake he noticed immediately. Snape's face had fallen and he had become seemingly hurt by Harry's words.

"I always called my brother that," he said in a strange, thin voice, and Harry had withdrawn his previous words abruptly. Next time, when Snape called him 'Quietus' he had corrected it to 'Quiet' and since then he had been called by that name.

Harry never wanted to hurt Snape in any way. So he had accepted being called Quiet and after some days he got used to it. They spent a lot of time together and they made serious efforts to get accustomed to their new roles. In return for being called Quiet, Harry called Snape 'father' sometimes even if they were in private.

"Just to get used to it," he explained to the surprised Severus.

And they enjoyed this 'game' thoroughly.

"Have you learnt that potion yet, Quiet?" Anne asked. "Uncle Severus said that you can't go with him until you finished your homework, you know..."

And there were the uncles. Severus and Sirius were 'uncles' for Anne; she always referred to them in a formal way. She wasn't too happy with the two bitter, old men around her. She wanted Lupin back, but until his return she had chosen Harry to love.

"Homework..." muttered Harry silently. "It's summer holiday, Anne. But I finished it long ago nevertheless. I just didn't want to leave you alone."

The girl's face lit up.

"Thanks," she reached out her hand and took an apple from the table. "I hate to be alone."

Harry nodded. Anne had been coping pretty well with her parents' deaths, but he often saw her with a tear-washed face and red eyes. Times like that he let the girl cuddle to him and he even made some efforts to comfort her. It didn't take a long time for her to open up to him and she began to talk to Harry about her life and the summer's events.

So, Harry learned that Anne was muggle, like all her family, she had no siblings, her father's parents were deceased before her birth, her mother's parents were alive but they were ill and they stayed mostly in the hospital. Before the terrible events her family had lived in a suburb of a big city in a large house where she had a dog, which was killed too THAT night. She told Harry that she had a lot of friends in the school she attended, and her life was just... beautiful. Then it ended. And now it was over. One night a group of masked men – now, Anne called them properly Death Eaters - had broken into their house and had brought them to that Manor where she had been found two days later when Lupin had saved her.

Just two days... First it seemed just too short to Harry. Two days... They had spent almost fifteen in a similar place in much worse conditions. But he hadn't lost Severus. Anne, on the other hand, had remained alone.

Alone... This word started a new line of thoughts in Harry. He still couldn't decide whether he was pleased with his present situation or not. He still longed for his friends', and mostly for Ron's company, to share the summer's sad and happy moments with him - but it was simply impossible. Even if they became friends again, which Harry doubted highly about, he couldn't tell him anything, because he could be his friend only as Quietus and not as Harry...

"If you finished the homework, let's go to the garden!" Anne interrupted Harry's dark thoughts. He sighed and took the book off his lap. This was the next phase of the usual daily routine of Anne: the afternoon nap with Harry, then some games in the garden until dinner. There weren't any problems with her, she didn't mind being on her own, the only reason she wanted Harry to be with her was her fear of remaining alone again. First her parents, then Lupin... She was afraid that Harry too would leave her. He pulled his copy of 'Quidditch throughout the Ages' off the shelf and followed the jumping girl to the garden.

He sat on the chair positioned above the greatest oak in the garden (it was almost in the centre of it), opened his book and went on musing on his life's changes: on Severus, on their relationship, on the two weeks in Nightmare Manor. He felt that he needed much more time to get through all of it than he had thought on his first free day. He, of course, suspected that the nights would be hard and the first night alone had confirmed his worst suspicions, but he had hoped that the days would pass easily in their normal way, but he had been wrong. Harry didn't know the reason. Was it the fact that Sirius had been grieving since he had met him first as they had arrived at Snape Manor? That Snape was kind and friendly and he had to live in a totally different environment? No, it wasn't bad that Snape was friendly, just the opposite, it was good, very good and natural, but this fact too made Harry remember their common days in Voldemort's hell. Not to mention the scars, the traces of Avery's razor, which covered his whole body, his extremely thin and bony body... He still couldn't eat normally, he was just nibbling as Severus used to say, and sometimes he had serious stomach-aches... Almost everything reminded him of those days. And the future too was frightening. He struggled to avoid thinking about the future and the past but the present was pretty uneventful. He was studying, playing games with Anne, making potions with Severus, sitting in silence with Sirius, trying to eat properly and longing for a nightmare-free night... Pretty boring as a holiday program. And the memories attacked all the time.

If Snape hadn't been there for him, Harry surely would have gone mad. But he was there, always, at every moment Harry needed him, he was there as if he were able to read minds - or at least Harry's mind. Perhaps he had been. Who knew it?

Harry stretched himself. The warmth of the air warmed him and the light surrounded him, giving him the sensation of being in safe, in home...

Soft footsteps pulled him out of his thoughts. It was Sirius. He sat down on the ground with a sigh. Harry smiled at him slightly.

"Hi, Sirius."

"Hello, Quietus," Black answered, this time with more life in his usually toneless voice.

Silence. Harry closed the book and looked at Sirius intensely. He was desperately struggling to find a topic to talk, or at least to come in terms with his own godfather.

"How is Lupin?" he asked finally.

"Not too fine as you surely know. Snape... er... I mean your father is doing research to find a potion, which can heal him, but I fear he won't find any."

Harry left the chair and sat in front of him putting a hand on Black's shoulders.

"I'm sure he will. He is working hard on it, and as I know he is one of the most skilled experts of the field," he said as reassuringly as he could. "And you have to be a little bit more optimistic."

Black shrugged.

"I lost my optimism ten days ago..."

Damned situation! Harry sighed.

"But... but you still have things to live for," his voice was thin and he had to fight against his tears. "There is Lupin, your friend and Anne too... And you are too young to give up."

"I'm not young. Perhaps I'm only 37 but I spent just too much time in Azkaban to feel young. And I have nothing. I've lost my family, then my godson and now my friend is dying..."

"He is NOT dying, Sirius. He is ill, but he won't die, as you know. And you are not alone. We are here to help you, Anne, me and even my father, despite your mutual dislike... And there is Lupin who needs your support and strength more than ever before..."

"But I don't have the strength to help him!" yelled Black bitterly. "I don't have the strength to live any more," he added then more quietly.

"Sirius, you received the chance to begin your life over again. You are free now, you don't have to run, you have the chance to find your place and a reason to live. You have to pull yourself together. You have to spend more time with Anne for example..."

"Why?" Black asked sarcastically. "Do you feel it a burden to care for her?"

Harry got embarrassed and blushed. On the top of his embarrassment he knew precisely what he looked like when he was blushed: he had seen Snape turning red - it was an ugly, brick-coloured blush... He shuddered and crossed his arms angrily.

"No, of course not. I'm just trying to draw your attention to the fact that she has just lost her parents. Her adult parents. And I'm not able to be there for her as a parent. Perhaps as a brother, if she wishes, but she needs somebody to lean on. Not me, a boy, but an adult. There was Lupin for her, but as you have just explained to me, he is ill and he can't care for her. Severus has to do his own work, his research and he has to be prepared for his classes too. And we will go to Hogwarts in one week. You are the only one who can take care of her."

"Hey, you sound like an old, wise, long-bearded man," Sirius smirked. "Do you know that you sound like Snape's... I mean your father's brother? And... why did you call him Severus? It's quite unusual."

Harry sighed and nodded.

"To answer your first question: yes, Severus, my father says usually that I resemble him, it was the reason that he gave me this name," Harry stopped. Here came the lies and he hated to lie. He gulped and went on. "And the second answer: I call him Severus because I'm not yet accustomed to living with him. I lived with my grandparents before and I scarcely met him. And he always resisted being called 'father'. To avoid attention, he said."

"It means that Quietus wasn't your name before?" Black seemed curious, and Harry couldn't help but become nervous. He had to lie again.

"No, I don't use my previous name. He didn't want any traces, which could lead to my grandparents," he sighed and decided to add something true to his tale. "You know, when I resolved to live with him I had to give up my whole life: my name, my friends, my guardians, and began everything over. It's really hard..." he only muttered the last sentence.

Sirius cast a scrutinizing glance at him.

"Yes, it should be," he nodded. "But you did know it before, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did."

"Then why did you make this decision?"

In this moment Harry was extremely grateful that Sirius didn't know their secret, because he could answer the question with maximal sincerity.

"Because I love him," he said simply.

This was the first time he said this sentence aloud and again, and he couldn't stop to think about life's unexpected turns. A month ago Snape and he despised each other, the professor was an embittered loner, Harry had no real family except for his running godfather whom he never really knew. And now, Snape and he played the roles of father and son, but they weren't only pretending to care for each other and Harry had the opportunity to get to know Sirius better; although the circumstances were far from normal.

But when Harry said the last sentence aloud, he suddenly felt a pang of guilt in his chest for his everyday dark thoughts. He had every reason to be happy now. The decision he made was not easy but wasn't a bad thing either.

Sirius smirked again.

"I've never thought I would hear that sentence referring to him..." he said sarcastically but he regretted it instantly. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

But Harry just waved his hand dismissively.

"Don't be," he answered smiling. "He is a very hard man to love, really. But I'm his son. And," he stopped for a moment to consider about what to say, "he has changed this summer."

Sirius blinked in surprise.

"What... You mean...?" he babbled.

Harry now was smiling wide from ear to ear.

"I may be his son, but I'm not blind, Sirius. He was much colder, harder and more rigid. And now he is softened somehow..."

Sirius shut his eyes.

"Harry."

Harry's pupils dilated in fear, but Sirius went on.

"It should be Harry's effect on him..."

Harry blushed and was VERY grateful for Sirius' closed eyes. He cleared his throat.

"It's pretty obvious," he agreed embarrassed. It would have been too suspicious to protest. He hoped Sirius would change topic soon: he didn't want to worship himself but otherwise he would hurt Sirius. He cursed himself mentally: it was his fault that the conversation had turned this direction.

"Harry was an extremely good kid," Sirius opened his eyes and stood up. "Now, I think we have things to do this afternoon. You will go to Diagon Alley with Sn... your father and I will look after Anne," he reached his hand and helped Harry up. But before he released the boy's hand he smiled, "and you know, you are just as good as him. Your father can be proud of you," he said and left the shell-shocked boy alone.

Harry was staring after him frozen for long minutes.

"Did he hurt you?" he heard suddenly Snape's concerned voice from behind. He jumped in surprise.

"No, not at all!" he turned around and smiled. "On the contrary, he said that I'm just as good as me, I mean Harry," he smirked, "and he added that you can be proud of me..."

"Well, I am," Snape smirked in return and crossed his arm over his chest in his usual manner. "Although I have no right to be proud of you..."

"Stop, Severus!" Harry interrupted him. "I don't want to spend the afternoon here listening to your guilt trip and reasoning about your well-deserved self-disgust..."

"Impertinent brat..."

"Just sincere..."

They burst into laughter and Snape ruffled Harry's hair playfully.

"Let's go," Severus waved towards the living room's open door, where the fireplace was. "As you said you don't want to spend the whole afternoon here..."

But they stopped nervously in front of the fireplace. This trip was the first occasion they would appear in front of the wizarding community together and Snape was totally sure they would be in every news report of the following days. He was just too infamous to be ignored, not to mention the fact that he had a son... Harry reached for his hair from time to time and smoothed it over his forehead where his scar lay hidden by a glamourie of the Headmaster. Harry, however, couldn't help but cover it as if the first passenger they would meet would cast a 'Revelo' spell on him to uncover his identity...

They stared at each other nervously.

"So?" croaked Snape finally. "May we leave?"

"I'm not the only one who is nervous, _father_," smirked Harry. "But of course, we may leave now."

The Leaky Cauldron was crowded. This was the first thing they noticed as they stepped (or in Harry's case: fell) out of the fireplace. Snape grabbed him by his shoulder saving him from falling on his face. It was a short show, but by the time he regained his balance almost every gaze in the pub was pointed at them in mild interest. Snape's usual glare wasn't able to compel the staring people to avert their glances either. So he tightened his grasp on the frozen Harry's shoulder and dragged him to the Alley's entrance. When they finally entered the Alley, Harry turned to Snape.

"What was that?"

"My fan club," Snape sneered.

"I think it's not worse than mine," Harry snickered and added. "And here I thought that as your son I won't be always in the centre of attention..."

"It seems to be your fate..."

"I see..." he frowned. "I'm not looking forward to school now."

"Neither am I."

Harry snickered again.

"I can imagine the other professors' expressions when they learn that you have a son..."

"Yeah," Severus smiled. "We'll have some rough weeks."

Harry shuddered.

"Well, you don't have to do anything just to be yourself. But I..."

"You have to be yourself too..."

"Yes, but everybody will hate me, because they hate..." he suddenly interrupted himself and averted his face from Snape.

"You can finish the sentence. I'm pretty aware of my reputation..."

"No. I won't finish it. I don't want to hurt you."

"It doesn't hurt me."

"Really?"

"Er... An ice-cream?" Snape suddenly changed the topic.

"No, thanks. And sorry. I shouldn't have said anything," Harry stopped and now looked at Snape straight.

The professor turned to him and looked directly in his eyes.

"It's okay," he sighed. "But don't go on this stuff. It's meaningless..."

"All right. What about the bookshop?"

"Great idea."

As they passed the Quidditch shop Harry shot a sad glance at the broomsticks and other Quidditch supplies in the window. Snape stopped.

"We can go in," he offered.

"No. I mustn't play, you know."

"Yeah," he nodded. "It would draw too much attention."

Harry didn't react just headed towards the bookshop.

"I have to find in myself those inherited Ravenclaw genes," Harry muttered bitterly.

"Perhaps you will never find them," Snape winked.

"Thanks," Harry sneered. "Well... To tell you the truth I agree with you. I think I would fit every house except for Ravenclaw, as long as they don't want a negative example amongst themselves..."

"You aren't such a bad student, Quiet."

"Oh, yeah, I'm a genius. Especially in Potions," Harry sneered again.

"Just a little bit tutoring and..."

"Oh, no..." he groaned loudly.

"Well, as the Potions Master's son you can't be a complete bungler in Potions!"

"Calm down, I WILL be. And I warn you now: if you want to survive the future potions' classes NEVER put me together with Neville..."

Their laughter suddenly filled the almost empty street. Snape wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulder. They were still snickering when they entered the bookshop, but Harry's laughter stopped abruptly as they went in.

Snape cast a questioning glance at him and he saw Harry's face twisting in pain. He followed his eyes.

The Weasleys were there.

Snape knew well that Harry wasn't prepared for this meeting with his friend - or as he suspected: ex-friend - and they had purposely chosen this part of the day for shopping to avoid situations like this.

Ron's surprise over their appearance was clear: the hated Potions Master entering the bookshop laughing (only ten days after Harry's funeral) with somebody who looked like his relative. It was a shock to him. Harry could see it: in his eyes... But there was something else in those eyes, and not only in his: in all the Weasleys' eyes. Something akin pure hatred.

No. It was not in all of them: the parents behaved in their usual way, but the twins, Ron and Ginny seemed absolutely reluctant to greet their Potions Master.

"Good evening, professor," Ginny said finally, and the three boys mumbled something under their breaths.

"Good evening," Snape's reaction was as cold and reluctant as theirs, then he glanced at Harry who greeted the family courteously.

"Your son, Mr Snape?" Mr Weasley asked smiling. "I've heard about him..."

Of course. They had to report to the Ministry about Quietus Snape and Mr Weasley worked in the Ministry too. It was not a surprise he had heard about him.

"Yes," Snape answered, his face wore its usual, expressionless mask, even though he felt a strong desire to sneer. But he didn't want to render Harry's situation more difficult: it was difficult enough in itself. "Quietus, this is Mr Weasley."

"Pleased to meet you," Harry said politely and shook the offered hand.

Mr Wealsey waved at his sons.

"Boys, he will be your new mate from this year," he announced smiling.

They didn't seem too pleased with this announcement. Indeed. The twins sneered, 'the newest Slytherin' muttered Fred to George who nodded, Ron frowned and Ginny cast a malicious glare at him.

Harry tried to smile but he was so nervous that he was completely unable to curve his mouth. He trembled in frustration. His presuppositions had turned out to be true. Ron would never be his friend again. He suddenly wanted to turn around and leave them, to go to Dumbledore and ask him to change him back to his old self.

But the Ministry's dungeons were too serious a threat.

Then he felt the grasp tightening on his shoulder and he realized that Snape's arm was still lying on his shoulder. He lifted his eyes to Severus's. Neither of them said a word, but Harry could see his concern and encouragement and he relaxed a little bit. He turned his glance to the boys standing in front of him and stepped forward.

"Hi, I'm Quietus Snape," he felt a lump in his throat and it was extremely hard to speak with it. He reached his hand to Fred. Two reluctant handshakes: Fred's and George's. Ron however crossed his arms in front of his chest and ignored Harry's hand.

"Ron!" cried Mrs Weasley impatiently.

Now, that they were standing face-to-face he could see the same disdain and hatred in his friend's eyes that he felt for Malfoy. Harry lowered his hand.

"I've heard that Harry Potter was your friend. My condolences to you for your loss," he said calmly.

There was silence for an instant then Ron erupted.

"I don't need your pity, Snape!" he yelled and ran out of the shop.

Snape wanted to open his mouth but he felt Harry's eyes on his face.

"Please, no," Harry mouthed and he nodded in understanding. Harry wasn't about to give up this friendship, and he really didn't want to make the present situation worse.

When Harry turned his gaze to the Weasleys again he could see them staring questioningly at him and Snape.

"I'm sorry, dear," Mrs Weasley said. "You know, since Harry..."

"It's okay, madam," he answered politely and lowered his gaze to the ground. "I think it was my fault. Please, give him my apology. I shouldn't have mentioned his friend to him. It has to be too painful for him."

"Yes, it is," Mr Weasley said. "But it was not your fault. He had no reason to treat you the way he did."

"Yeah," Harry whispered. "It doesn't matter, really..."

"Quiet, can we go now?" Snape asked after a short silence. Then he added looking at the other adults. "I think all of us have things to do."

They nodded.

"Good bye."

"Bye, mate," Fred stepped to him. "And don't take it too hard. Ron is sometimes a complete git."

Harry lifted his eyes. Did he see sympathy on Fred's face? Yes, it had to be: he was now smiling reassuringly at him. George did the same and even Ginny's expression softened significantly.

After the family left the shop, Snape bent down to Harry.

"Are you all right?" his voice was worried.

Harry couldn't answer. He was still trembling slightly and felt numb. He just shook his head and struggled to pull himself together.

Snape cast a quick glance around then he turned to the boy again.

"Harry, look at me," he whispered.

Harry winced as he heard his name and looked at Snape questioningly.

"I know that this was very hard on you. But I'm convinced that you will be able to regain Mr Weasley's friendship. It won't be easy but you will do it. It won't be fast either, but you have time. You know, you acted wonderfully with them just now, and I'm sure that even if they hate me, you have won their sympathy."

Harry shook his head again to regain his composure.

"Do you think so?" his voice was thin and weak.

"I'm sure. And... how about a new Advanced Potions' book?" he changed the topic abruptly.

Harry cracked a half-smile.

"If you want it for yourself, you can buy it. For me the usual potions book will be fine."

"And what about those Ravenclaw genes?"

"They are in hiding," Harry's smile became genuine. "I'd rather buy some good Quidditch books."

"No, you won't."

"Severus..."

"We can make a deal."

"What deal?"

"I buy you Quidditch books, but I buy you as many study books as Quidditch books and you have to read all of them.

"You sound like a parent."

"Well, I'm now supposed to be one. And not only a parent but YOUR parent."

"What a joy..."

"So?"

"All right then."

After half an hour they left the shop with dozens of book. Harry still hadn't received his letter, but Snape, as a teacher was well-informed about the books Harry was going to use, so they bought all of them. The rest of the shopping trip was uneventful. Before they turned home, they ate ice-cream in Florean Fortescue's bar. By that time it was already evening and the stars were appearing in the sky. The illuminated street was so wonderful that Harry just stared at the torches with wide-open eyes, like a little child.

"The first positive impression of night since THEN," he whispered.

The Potions Master shuddered. Night was the worst period of every day for both of them. He didn't dare make Harry drink Dreamless Sleep potion every night, for fear of creating an addiction, so the nights were usually filled with nightmares. He had woken up countless times to Harry's silent crying or to his uneasy stirring as the boy dreamed about the tortures. They slept in the same room with lighted torches, their beds were close to each other, but Snape often felt it necessary to lie next to Harry and to comfort him until he calmed down and was able to fall asleep again.

Many times they couldn't sleep, they would just lay on the bed and talked about everything, cautiously avoiding the 'summer-topic' as they called it. He remembered that he had promised himself to help Harry get through all of it, but sometimes it seemed an impossible task. Harry's condition hadn't improved, although their relationship had deepened significantly. He was happy about it, but he was worried for the boy. By the time the school started they would have to find a solution to this problem. If Harry didn't sleep enough, he would have several problems with his studies.

Not to mention the fact that once he was sorted he wouldn't have anybody to help him with the nightmares.

Severus was worrying about the future. He didn't want school to begin.

Harry's thoughts were swirling around the same topic.

He was dreading the thought of a common, dark bedroom with snoring classmates. It didn't matter, which house he belonged to, he would be alone at night anyway. Alone with his nightmares.

And what about the days? The new classmates, the common hatred, except for the Slytherins, perhaps, his lost friends... And in the evenings the common bathroom. Everybody would see his slashed body, all his scars... He shuddered at the thought.

He didn't want school to begin.

And they only had a few days left.


	2. Prejudices and expectations

Warning: this is th BETAED chapter!  
  
Many thanks for kateydidnt, who did this enormous work!  
  
Thanks for the reviews. I've never expected such a huge amount of reviews for one, pathetic chapter. And this will be another pathetic one. Sorry. I need some time to speed up the story, and I try to be less and less boring as the time goes by.  
  
And a WARNING: I've just now realised that this will be VERY AU in less than two months. Well, I hope you won't abandon it after the fifth book...  
  
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Chapter 2 - Prejudices and expectations  
  
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The trip to the sea-side was marvellous. They were six in all: Harry, Anne, Sirius, Severus, Fletcher and - surprisingly - McGonagall who came to bring news about Lupin and to invite Snape for the next week's staff meeting. Fletcher's presence was already familiar: a part of the manor was used by certain people, the "order" as they called themselves, and Fletcher was one of them. He was a kind of 'protector' too: he created security walls around the house and fixed other defensive systems that he never spoke about, however, Harry had asked him several times. He just smiled at him, and stated: it's a secret. As if he had spoken with a little child, Harry thought embarrassed.  
  
In the beginning Fletcher tried to be invisible and not to disturb the manor's life, but Harry often stopped him with his questions and Fletcher loved to explain. He was an excellent lecturer, his explanations were clear and easy to understand. He first had held prejudices towards Harry - he was Snape's son to him! - but the boy's kindness and curiosity softened his resistance and after a week he had agreed to talk to Snape as well.  
  
Prejudices... After the first few days Harry had realised that the greatest battle he would have to fight would be against the prejudices. Everybody was reluctant to speak to him first, then they were taken aback by Harry's behaviour, then they were suspicious of him... Always the same sequence...  
  
"I'm not my father, for God's sake!" he said to Fletcher when they had talked the second time. "And even he has changed, can't you see?"  
  
And there were the Weasleys too, and Sirius... Well, he finally managed to break through some walls of the good, old prejudices, but it was not easy and sometimes he felt it too exhausting and meaningless. He had his own demons to fight, his own nightmares and memories, and he hated that he had to earn everybody's confidence again.  
  
But after two weeks the manor's atmosphere had begun to lose its tension: Fletcher was invited to the common meals, there were more and more conversations not only between Harry and Black or Fletcher, but between Snape and the other two. There was more laughter too, and Anne had begun to accept the other adults, especially Black.  
  
And now, they were going on a trip together. They were walking and talking in pairs: Black transformed into his usual animagus form and he was running up and down with Anne alongside the water, Snape and Fletcher were discussing the manor's defence system during the school year and McGonagall joined the nervous Harry to ask him about his previous studies.  
  
So he had to lie again.  
  
"I attended a muggle school, madam," he answered the first question politely.  
  
"Does that mean that you've never learned anything about magical society?" she seemed surprised.  
  
"No, of course not. My father always hoped that he could have custody of me, so he taught me and gave me books to read and study for years. However, I believe that I can't be in the sixth year since I haven't done my OWLs yet."  
  
"Oh, I remember! You are 16, aren't you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
His age was a lie too. He hated it. But at least he looked like 16, or more. It was a comforting thought: he wasn't handsome, but at least he didn't look like a child anymore.  
  
"I think you will be in the fifth year and if you need we can organise tutoring for you too..."  
  
"No, thanks," Harry smiled. "I don't think I need to be tutored any further..."  
  
"Your father does his best to tutor you, doesn't he?" McGonagall's eyes twinkled in amusement. "He was a brilliant student once..."  
  
"I know," Harry muttered annoyed and he hoped that Quietus wouldn't be the next to be mentioned as the best student ever.  
  
His hope was in vain.  
  
"And his brother was the best student of the century, I must say," McGonagall smiled at the annoyed Harry. "So I don't think you will have problems in your studies. The Snapes always were amongst the best students, as you surely know, many of them were in Ravenclaw and even your father could have been there. I hope you will be put there when you are sorted."  
  
Harry snorted in frustration. He - in Ravenclaw!  
  
McGonagall, to his utmost amazement, didn't hold any prejudices against his father and him, at least Harry thought at first. But now he could see that even the stern professor had her own expectations towards him. Well, they weren't prejudices but the expectations weren't any better. Harry was VERY grateful that McGonagall didn't know about his true parentage: two Ravenclaw parents, one of them the aforementioned celebrity of the century... Harry shuddered. His results weren't too bad, but then again, he wasn't a genius. Not at all. In his case the saying 'like father like son' wasn't true . He wasn't a brilliant student and - despite the fact that the wizarding world would never believe it - he wasn't powerful either. Unlike his father.  
  
He survived Voldemort's first attack because of his mother's sacrifice, he survived Quirrell's attack because of the same, he survived the young Tom Riddle's attack because of Fawkes' help, he survived Voldemort's resurrection because of his wand's core and finally he survived the captivity because of Severus' help and a life debt. He was lucky and protected by others. If he had been more clever or powerful perhaps everything would have happened in another way...  
  
"I don't think I will be as excellent a student as my father or his brother were," he summarised his thoughts. "I've never exceeded in anything in my life. I'm afraid I won't be able to fulfil your expectations."  
  
McGonagall turned her glance to him and Harry was taken aback when he saw sadness in her eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mr Snape," she sighed. "I think your situation is hard enough without my expectations. But, you know, it will be hard for us, teachers, to treat you otherwise. You look like your uncle, your name is the same..."  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
"Sometimes I wish I'd never made this decision," his throat felt thin and dry and his voice was hoarse. Harry knew that Dumbledore told McGonagall his 'story' and despite the fact that he referred to his invented situation, the sentence fit perfectly even his real situation, and even though he hadn't had any other choice he sometimes regretted it. Like now.  
  
McGonagall put a hand on Harry's arm. He tried not to wince.  
  
"It won't be easy, I know. But you have to know you have a wonderful mentor and supporter and I'm sure with his help you can do it."  
  
Harry was surprised. Did McGonagall praise Snape?  
  
"Do you mean Se... my father?" he asked and when she nodded he added, "You are the first person who thinks so highly of him..."  
  
McGonagall's eyes were now pointed at the sea.  
  
"Many assume to know him by his appearance and manners."  
  
'Like I did,' Harry thought guiltily.  
  
"And many judge him by one wrong decision he made when he was young."  
  
'The Ministry, the Aurors... and he himself..." Harry agreed to himself.  
  
"But, you know, those were hard times. There was war and many wizards were deceived by You-Know-Who. Many young man. And mostly the Slytherins who were always considered dark and evil. However, they are only too ambitious." McGonagall stopped and when Harry did the same she turned to him and looked at him seriously. "You know, I'm very grateful that your father is the head of the Slytherin House. He is a good man. Once he made a wrong decision. He regretted it and he was ready to accept his punishment. Nobody compelled him to do it. He did it by himself. And that is the thing many people never do: bear the consequences of their decisions. Many times people don't even confess to themselves that they are wrong in order to avoid guilt. Your father, on the contrary, was ready to accept the proper punishment and has carried the burden of guilt for almost two decades. He is a brave and trustworthy man but because of his guilt he turned out to be bitter and lonely," her gaze now became even more serious as she went on, "but now that his role is over and you live with him, he, perhaps, has one more chance to live the normal life he deserves."  
  
Harry felt numb and shocked. He was never treated this way... like an adult, by his teachers, and he had never seen this side of the stern Transfiguration professor either. Well, he had never suspected that she liked the head of the Slytherin house.  
  
"When he told me his story I told him almost the same that you said just now to me. But he didn't agree with me. I think he will never forgive himself," he said when he found his voice. "He says that everybody hates him and he deserves it. When I try to convince him that he is not right, he always protests..."  
  
It was true. Harry felt clearly that Snape was uncomfortable with his present situation. He was almost happy and he felt guilty over his happiness. 'I don't deserve to be happy,' he used to say Harry. 'But you can't throw me away fortunately," was Harry's answer, 'and I will compel you to be happy.'  
  
McGonagall smiled sadly.  
  
"I suspect he won't be over it. Ever."  
  
"I think he consider his work a deserved punishment too..."  
  
"Well... he is a brilliant Potions Master, one of the best. But he doesn't like teaching - and to tell you the truth he is not a good teacher. He has no patience for the children and he doesn't like to repeat himself..."  
  
"But why is he teaching then? The punishment...?"  
  
"No," McGonagall smiled slightly. "Because the Headmaster asked him to teach, and he needs him as the head of Slytherin. However, I think it was a mistake to send him back to spy after all those years of teaching. His work at Hogwarts endangered his role amongst the Death Eaters. I think that was the main reason that You-Know-Who uncovered him, for which I'm very grateful, as I said, but he could have died like Harry..."  
  
Harry didn't know how to react so he just stood in silence.  
  
"I suppose he has told you about him, hasn't he?"  
  
Harry shifted uncomfortably.  
  
"Er... he generally refuses to talk about him..."  
  
McGonagall, to Harry's chagrin, seemed ready to talk.  
  
"He was in my house, you know," she smiled as she remembered. Harry blushed and pointed his gaze to the ground. "He looked like his father but he wasn't like him otherwise. He was much more serious, sensitive and talented. Like his mother..."  
  
"Talented?" Harry blinked incredulously.  
  
"Yes," McGonagall answered and smiled. "He could have been one of the best students, but he was always involved in too many things simultaneously..."  
  
Harry didn't dare to lift his head. He was positive that even his ears were bright red in embarrassment.  
  
"But it wasn't his fault," the professor continued not noticing Harry's blush, "He fought the first battle in the upcoming war..."  
  
"Minerva, Quiet?" it was Snape. Harry couldn't help but sigh in relief. "Sorry for interrupting your conversation, but we are going home."  
  
"Sure, Severus," McGonagall smiled at him. "It's getting late."  
  
"Quiet, Quiet, look what I found!" a very excited Anne showed her tiny and extremely dirty palms to Harry. She had a handful of sea-shells. "Aren't they beautiful?"  
  
"They are," Harry answered red-faced as he noticed the two adults looking at him smiling.  
  
"This one I bring to you!" the girl wasn't aware of Harry's discomfort and gave him the greatest shell. "Do you like it?"  
  
Harry mumbled something in return.  
  
"Good," Anne nodded and poured her palms' content into her pockets then grabbed Harry's hand. "Uncle Severus said that we have to go home now."  
  
McGonagall shot a curious glance at Snape who blushed slightly and turned to leave. Harry smirked in satisfaction. But his good mood didn't last long. The four adults walked together and left Harry and Anne behind. First the girl was chattering happily, but after a while her steps became slower and tottering and the distance between the two groups began to grow.  
  
Harry felt something akin a panic emerging in his chest. He hated to be left behind. He tried to increase their speed but Anne was too tired to walk faster.  
  
"Pick me up?" she stopped after a while. "I'm so tired..."  
  
Harry got frightened. And he felt sick.  
  
No, it was not about the girl, but about himself. He touched Anne if it was necessary and sometimes embraced her shoulders too, but he was always cautious not to let her touch him, or at least not longer than a few seconds.  
  
He couldn't handle physical. He couldn't handle being touched, not to mention being hugged, except for Severus. He was now studying how to cope with little touches, how not to wince or jump, how not to cry in protest.  
  
Another reminder of the summer's hell.  
  
He had realised it on the first day when Anne had tried to hug him, he had almost gone black. Some days later Sirius had touched his shoulder from behind to invite him to dinner and he had jumped and cried in fear and turned the coffee-table over. Sirius had been appalled by his little stunt show, but he had never touched him again. And later Fletcher...  
  
Harry felt dizzy and nauseous.  
  
"I can't..." he whispered weakly.  
  
"Please," she begged him and his mouth curved down. Harry felt nervous. He didn't want the girl to cry. He pretended not to notice her bad mood and went on holding her hand. Anne finally didn't cry, but after some minutes she seemed to fall asleep walking. They stopped again. He glanced at the adults desperately and he knew that he had to solve this problem alone. It would be simply too strange if he cried for help just because he didn't want to lift the girl up...  
  
He sighed and picked her up. She smiled and wrapped her dirty arms around Harry's neck and closed her eyes in satisfaction.  
  
Harry, however, wasn't pleased. He struggled not to notice the arms around his neck, the body pressing against his scars and bruises and the general unpleasant and nauseous feeling of being touched. He felt quite unwell. Not to mention the fact that he hadn't regained his former strength after the long captivity, and he had never been a strong boy before. But he did his best nevertheless.  
  
He wanted to cry. To vomit. To throw the girl down. But he didn't do it. He was tottering, but he went on.  
  
It was Snape who noticed him being left behind. When he glanced around and saw Harry he became frightened and guilt shone in his eyes. He knew intimately Harry's new phobia of being touched and was aware of his general physical condition too not to mention the memories of being left behind... Without a word he turned on his heel and ran to the tottering boy. The other adults glanced after him questioningly.  
  
By the time he reached Harry, the boy was on the very edge. Snape took the sleeping girl from him.  
  
"Are you alright?" Worry swirled in his eyes.  
  
Harry inhaled and he felt better instantly.  
  
"Yeah," he answered. "Thanks."  
  
"It was my fault," Snape shook his head.  
  
Harry just waved with his hand dismissively.  
  
"What was that for?" Black asked as they reached the others.  
  
"Quiet had a broken leg this spring. I don't want him to overstrain himself," Snape answered in a neutral tone.  
  
Harry was amazed that Snape reacted so quickly and naturally. Well, those years of spying... So Harry nodded at Black confirming the explanation and they went on.  
  
Harry sighed. He wasn't ready for the future.  
  
He said the same that night when Snape shook him out of his nightmare.  
  
"I don't want to go to school. I'm not ready," he gulped and he added whispering, "I don't know if I will ever be ready ..."  
  
"You will," Snape sat on the bed next to him.  
  
"But surely not by September..."  
  
Severus didn't answer. He thought the same, but he didn't know whether it was wise to tell Harry or not. But this time Harry didn't stop at this point.  
  
"I'm serious, Severus. I can't cope with it. Please, figure out something..."  
  
"But... I don't know what would be wise..." Snape muttered hesitantly.  
  
"I want to stay with you," Harry said, but he avoided looking at him.  
  
"But it's against school rules. You have to be sorted and stay in your house's quarters."  
  
"I can't do it, Severus, don't you understand? Not even in Gryffindor. What will they say if they notice my scars? What will they say if they notice my phobias? What will they say if I wake them up every night with my nightmares? And what will I do then in the dark? Shriek in panic? Cry? Sob?" Harry shook his head. "I can't do it. And I don't want to try it either. I will stay with you or you can send me to St. Mungo's directly." Harry sat up trembling. "I hate my damned weakness!" he yelled desperately. "I'd like to live like everyone else does but I always have something to remind me that I'm not normal," he added and tears flew down his cheeks.  
  
Snape pulled him to his chest and caressed his back kindly.  
  
"We will find a solution, I promise," he said calmly. "I will speak to Albus, okay?"  
  
Harry just nodded, but didn't say a word. He was struggling against a sob.  
  
"I hate that I'm so blasted weak..." he muttered with clenched teeth.  
  
"You're not weak, Harry..."  
  
"Don't call me that name!" Harry cried angrily. "We have to get used to my new name and YES! I'm damned weak..." he lost his internal battle as sobs shook his body.  
  
"The things we went through would be enough to drive anyone else mad for the rest of their life. You survived it, you cope with things brilliantly, really..."  
  
"I hate myself," Harry grabbed the blanket and clenched his fist so that his fingers turned white. "I hate that I can't sleep through a night, that I can't handle a simple touch, that I can't stop wincing if I hear a loud voice, that I can't eat normally, that I have no strength, that I look like a freak with the cuts and scars all over my body, that I can't pull off a simple T-shirt if I don't want them to be seen... And hate the prejudices I have to fight every time I meet someone and I lost my friends and I don't want to live anymore!"  
  
He curled into a ball and pressed his head against Snape's chest. He didn't answer, just rubbed his back softly. It took almost a half an hour for Harry to calm down.  
  
"Sorry," he mumbled finally, "But I'm so scared..."  
  
"We'll find a solution, believe me..."  
  
"I'm cold..."  
  
Snape released him cautiously, stood up and opened the windows. The warm, August air entered the room. He stopped for a moment to inhale deeply and he heard Harry's bare footsteps nearing.  
  
"Put on your slippers, you will get cold."  
  
"Yes, father," Harry said in mocking obedience. He sat on the window's sill. Without slippers. He looked into Snape's eyes. "I know that I sounded like a stupid, little child, but I was serious, Severus. I can't cope with it. Not yet."  
  
"The day after tomorrow we will leave to Hogwarts to get prepared for the school year. I will talk to Dumbledore I promise."  
  
Harry pulled his legs up to his chest.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
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"TWO SNAPES! Good Lord!" Peeves' voice filled the whole Great Hall. "HELP! The greasy git decided to bring his carbon copy with himself!" He smirked evilly. "It's not enough for the poor students that the heir of Slytherin, the great Harry Potter has died, they have to face TWO Snapes!" The ghost pretended to faint.  
  
Harry would have laughed his head off over Peeves' show if it hadn't been HIM the poltergeist was babbling about. He was NOT a carbon copy of Severus!  
  
Snape stopped as he saw the giggling ghost and folded his arms smiling in a threatening manner.  
  
"Quiet," he winked at Harry. "Do you want to see something interesting?"  
  
Harry nodded expectantly. Since Lupin's simple spell with the chewing gum he had never seen anybody able to drive the poltergeist away.  
  
Snape pulled his new wand out from his belt and waved towards him.  
  
"Gelasmus," he said clearly.  
  
Suddenly, Peeves' laughter became harder and seemingly uncontrollable.  
  
"Hehehehehe, Snape hehehe..." he said suffocating of laughter. "stop it hehehehe..."  
  
But Snape was just standing and staring at him intensely.  
  
"Hehehe please.... hehehe."  
  
Harry could see the ghost fight to regain self-control, but he couldn't.  
  
"This will last at least four hours... You DID know the consequences," Snape said and waved to Harry. "Let's go."  
  
"And him?" Harry looked at the laughing ghost. "What did you cast on him?"  
  
Snape smirked.  
  
"It's a simple but very powerful spell against him. It increases his laughter into fits for hours... Its duration depends on his previous level of amusement. If you cast this spell on a sad person it does nothing. It only affects people who are happy or laughing."  
  
"I want to learn it," Harry smiled from ear to ear.  
  
Snape's face turned serious.  
  
"You have to be careful with that spell, Quiet. It can kill a living person. Peeves, of course, won't die. But you just can't throw it on anybody..."  
  
"It's a pity you can't kill Voldemort with that spell."  
  
They smiled slightly.  
  
"Well, you would have to wait for years to find him happy or laughing," Snape nodded finally and they went on their way to the dungeons.  
  
It seemed to be the ghosts' day: first they met Sir Nicholas who greeted them bobbing his head (he didn't ask anything, perhaps because of the house rivalry), and in the dungeons the Bloody Baron was waiting for them.  
  
"Welcome back, Severus," he bowed his head.  
  
"Good to see you, Saevus," Snape returned the greeting. "Let me introduce my son, Quietus," he put his hand at Harry's shoulder.  
  
"Pleased to meet you, sir," Harry mumbled shyly.  
  
"Saevus Malingus Noblestone," the Bloody Baron said and turned to Snape. "I'm happy to see that the Snape family line doesn't end with you. I was really worried about it. I never suspected you had a son. He is like your brother, Severus."  
  
"Indeed, Saevus," the Potions Master bowed politely. "I had to keep his mere existence a secret if I didn't want to endanger him."  
  
"Endanger?"  
  
"Let the Dark Lord reach him," the professor explained.  
  
"I've heard the news about you spying on the Dark Lord for Dumbledore, Severus," the ghost's face darkened. "I wasn't too pleased."  
  
"It's my life and my responsibility to make the right decision," Snape smiled at the menacing figure. "The question now is about your loyalties."  
  
"I'm loyal to the Slytherin House, you know."  
  
"Slytherin House or Slytherin's Heir?"  
  
"You want me to make a decision?"  
  
"You've already done so, I believe."  
  
Harry was amazed at Severus' calmness and polite manner. The ghost was menacing and seemed extremely evil and powerful. He wouldn't have dared to speak to him like Snape did.  
  
"My bloodline is more important to me than Slytherin's, you know. But I'm still not pleased."  
  
"It was Slytherin's Heir who killed my brother."  
  
"I know."  
  
"I changed sides then."  
  
There was long pause.  
  
"I see," the ghost finally answered. "Well, I have to go now. We'll meet later, Severus. Quietus," he nodded to them and left.  
  
"What was that?" Harry glanced at Snape.  
  
"What?"  
  
"That speech about bloodlines and heirs."  
  
"Oh, that!" Snape smiled widely. "Saevus is one of my ancestors from my mother's side. My mother was a Noblestone."  
  
"Hell of an ancestor..." Harry muttered under his breath. "He was a dark wizard, wasn't he?"  
  
"He is your ancestor as well, Quiet. And to answer your question: yes, of course," Snape's smile didn't disappear.  
  
"That is the reason why his robes are bloody, isn't it?" that was the question Harry wanted to ask since he had begun his studies in Hogwarts.  
  
"No," Snape shook his head. "He was a dark wizard, and a Slytherin at that, as was almost every Noblestone. But he died defending his family against the actual Dark Lord of his time."  
  
Harry's eyes widened in realisation.  
  
"So THAT is the reason he forgave you..."  
  
"He liked Tom Riddle when he was a student here," the professor added, his eyes glittering with thoughts. "But the only thing Saevus will never accept is his offspring's extermination."  
  
"What does his name mean?" Harry asked finally.  
  
"Ruthless."  
  
"Bloody hell..."  
  
"Language, Quiet."  
  
"Alright, alright," Harry shrugged and followed Snape to his door behind the Slytherin dormitories.  
  
They stopped in front of it.  
  
"Give me your hand, Quiet," Snape turned to Harry who reached out curiously. Snape carefully held his index finger and pressed it to the door where there was a little, white dot and muttered a few words. "Now you can enter whenever you want, you just have to press this dot with your index finger. Try it!"  
  
Harry pushed the dot and the door swung open.  
  
"Well," Snape sighed heavily. "I think we have to make some arrangements for you."  
  
It took several hours to make the arrangements, it was dinner time when they finally finished their work.  
  
"We will eat in the Great Hall with the staff members."  
  
Snape's announcement scared Harry.  
  
"You mean... with the other teachers?" he asked timidly.  
  
"Precisely."  
  
"What a hell of a day..."  
  
"Ha... Quiet you have to get used to being amongst people. But I think this evening there won't be too many teachers..."  
  
Harry shuddered.  
  
"Let's go then."  
  
"Don't forget: you don't know them."  
  
"I know," Harry snapped angrily. "I'm not stupid."  
  
"Quiet!" Snape seemed angry now. First time in weeks. Harry lowered his head.  
  
"Sorry, Severus," he mumbled. "But I'm pretty nervous."  
  
"Me too," he smiled lightly and put his hand to Harry's shoulder. "But don't forget: I'm with you. Okay?"  
  
Snape was wrong. All the members of the staff were already in the Great Hall (naturally except for Professor Binns who didn't need to eat and Trelawney whose Inner Eye surely forgot to alert him about the interesting news). All the members: that meant that the new defence teacher too.  
  
It was a woman, Harry could see from behind: she wore long hair in a ponytail. She was the first who heard them entering the hall and turned around first.  
  
Harry froze.  
  
It was Mrs Figg.  
  
THAT Mrs Figg.  
  
He did his best to pull himself together. He pretended to be too shy and he followed Snape two steps behind.  
  
By the time they reached Snape's usual chair everybody had noticed them.  
  
"Welcome, Severus!" Dumbledore rose from his chair. "Nice to see you, and Quietus, you look well!"  
  
Harry forced a smile not understanding the Headmaster's remark about his appearance. He didn't look well, he was still thin and pale and full of problems...  
  
"May I introduce your son, Severus?" Dumbledore turned to Snape who nodded in consent.  
  
"Of course, Headmaster," he said politely.  
  
At this point every gaze was pointed towards them. Harry winced and stepped forward bumping into Snape.  
  
"So...sorry," he mumbled. He wanted to flee or to hide at least, he hated those gazes full of curiosity and surprise as if they were attacking him. Snape placed a hand on his shoulder and grasped it reassuringly. Harry could hear somebody gasp in surprise.  
  
"Dear colleagues, as you heard Severus has given me the opportunity to introduce his son to you, so I will: he is Quietus Snape, he is 16 and he lived in the muggle world until this summer. Regarding the past events, Severus decided to take custody and introduce him into the wizarding world since Quietus is a wizard, a very strong and talented one," he smiled at Harry who turned red. "Minerva has already spoken to him and since he hasn't taken his OWLs, which are essential in our world, he will be in the fifth year. And," he now glanced at his colleagues, "I ask you to help him to find his place in our community. He is not eleven, so the changes will have a greater effect on him than on the little children in their first year."  
  
Many of the teachers nodded and the expressions turned from curious to sympathetic, which was an immense relief for Harry. Dumbledore seemingly finished his introduction and ushered Harry and Snape towards the table. Harry gave a seat between the Potions Master and Professor Flitwick who abruptly turned to him.  
  
"I'm happy to meet you, Mr Snape," he cast a wide smile at Harry. He froze. Flitwick was the Head of the Ravenclaw House, so this opening sentence could lead the conversation easily to Quietus Snape, his father, and his unimaginable talents on the study field... And he wasn't wrong again. "I hope, with this name, Mr Snape," he now winked, "you'll be a member of my house just like your uncle was."  
  
Here it comes.  
  
"You know, he..." professor Flitwick opened his mouth and a long story began.  
  
Harry politely tried to take a part in the conversation, nodding and saying 'uhm...', 'really...', and 'unbelievable...' and to eat something in the same time under Snape's attentive gaze. He wasn't hungry and the Charms professor's speech about his father destroyed what little appetite he still had. So he was barely eating again, and he wasn't surprised when he heard Snape whispering into his ear.  
  
"Nibbling, eh...?"  
  
Harry cast a nervous glance at him and grinned.  
  
"...and your father too," professor Flitwick meanwhile finished a sentence, of which the first half was totally unknown to Harry. "Don't you think?"  
  
"Yes, indeed, sir," he answered politely however he had no idea what the professor was asking about.  
  
"I was sure."  
  
Harry reached for his pumpkin juice, his stomach churned in unease. What was he getting into again? And this time he would be alone: neither Ron nor Hermione were with him.  
  
"Quiet? I think it's time to go. This has been a long day," he could hear Snape excusing them and leading him away from the table and the teachers. When they reached the corridor he stopped.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
Harry shrugged.  
  
"Let's go then."  
  
When they were finally seated comfortably on the chairs positioned in front of the fireplace Snape went on.  
  
"You have to eat something. You ate hardly anything for dinner, didn't you?"  
  
Harry didn't answer, he crossed his arms in front of his chest and his face darkened.  
  
"What did Flitwick say?" Snape asked after a while.  
  
"The usual speech about your brother's and your exceeding talent, and he shared with me his expectations of me being a member of his house. The Ravenclaw House! My God!" Harry yelled angrily. Then he lowered his head. "It was much easier being James Potter's son."  
  
"What's the problem, Ha... Quiet?" Snape seemed stunned. "He didn't offend you, did he?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then somebody else hurt you?"  
  
"NOBODY hurt me!" Harry stood up facing the bedroom. "I am going to bed."  
  
"Quiet. Stop," Snape's voice sounded annoyed. "What the hell is with you?"  
  
"Nothing," Harry answered and left the room.  
  
He was already in the bed curling into a ball, covering his head with the blanket when he felt somebody sitting on his bed.  
  
"Leave me alone," he muttered.  
  
Snape was helpless. This was the first time since their captivity that Harry had refused his help. And in reality he couldn't figure out what Harry's problem was. He just stared at the curled up teen pondering what to do. He was sure he couldn't leave him alone. He sighed and dragged the blanket from the boy.  
  
"Leave me alone," he cried frustrated and grabbed it.  
  
Snape hugged him.  
  
"Harry..."  
  
"I'm not a baby to be pampered," Harry protested in frustration and jumped out of his embrace. "I'm a 15-year-old boy, for God's sake!"  
  
Harry stood on the other side of the bed, his arms crossed again, and he glared at Snape.  
  
"I know, Harry. I'm just trying to help you." His voice was now guarded and calm.  
  
They were looking at each other. Harry saw Snape's exasperation and a kind of... helplessness on his face, like the one he wore when Harry was tortured... The memories came again. Harry sank down to his knees and leaned his head on the bed. In the next moment Snape was kneeling alongside him.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
He didn't dare to touch the boy.  
  
Harry said nothing just turned to him and wrapped his arms around his chest.  
  
"Sorry," he mumbled.  
  
Snape made him sit on the bed.  
  
"Care to tell me what your problem is?" he sat next to him.  
  
"My 'old life' was simpler. People just treated me as a hero, but nothing more. But now... I'm your son and... many hold prejudices against me... and the others hold expectations. Flitwick and the professors expect me to be as brilliant as you were with your... my father. Dumbledore expects me to be as powerful as he, I mean Quietus was." Harry lifted his gaze and their eyes locked. "But I'm not so clever and certainly not so powerful. I'm just... a simple boy. Nothing unique."  
  
Snape smiled slightly.  
  
"You are not a simple boy, Quietus."  
  
"But..."  
  
"However you are just as insolent as you were. I AM speaking. Don't interrupt me!"  
  
Snape crossed his arms and cast a serious glance at him. He tilted his head forward and his oily hair curtained his face. He was now so alike the infamous Potions professor Harry had known from classes that he had to grin madly.  
  
"Perhaps you aren't as clever as people expect you. Perhaps you aren't as powerful as Dumbledore hopes. But you are NOT a simple boy."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"It was you who helped me back to life again," Snape's smile widened as he saw Harry's surprised look. "And I don't think anyone else could have done this."  
  
Harry's eyes twinkled and in the next moment he jumped at Snape and threw him down to the bed and pinned his opponent's shoulders to it firmly.  
  
"Words, professor," he smirked at the grinning man evilly. "You were PRETTY alive during the past years, if I remember correctly."  
  
"Living and existing are different things..."  
  
"Oh... You sound so serious... I think one who can give detentions and deduct points is perfectly alive."  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Proof."  
  
"Of what?"  
  
"Of living. And not of existing."  
  
"Your point is?"  
  
"Don't torment students. Don't deduct points. Don't scowl. Don't sneer. Smile. Be kind. Help."  
  
"WHAT???" a tremendous shriek shattered the room. "ME? SMILE? BE KIND? HELP? And my reputation?"  
  
Harry shrugged in return.  
  
"I don't mind."  
  
"But I do. Kill me now instead!"  
  
"With pleasure..."  
  
They burst into laughter. When they calmed down Harry smiled at Snape.  
  
"Hey, thanks."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
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Next: perhaps only Saturday again? I hope I can upload in Wednesday as I used to, but I'm afraid I won't. Well, check it. Perhaps. I promise I'll try it. Okay? I had a rough week and I will have another rough one in row. *shudders*  
  
And good luck for the exams! ;-) 


	3. Old and New

NOW BETAED!  
  
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Thanks for everybody who reviewed it. I'm sorry if it's a little bit boring, I try to do my best. But, at least, it's pretty long (one of the longest I've ever written).  
  
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Chapter 3 - Old and new  
  
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As the first day of the term approached Harry noticed that Severus' behaviour was tending to be more and more nervous. He was tense and snappy, and after a while Harry decided to stay as far away from him as he could during the days. Not that Severus hurt or offended him, he was always friendly with Harry, or at least he tried to be, but Harry could see that his patience was wearing thin and he didn't intend to tempt it. So he usually joined Severus for dinner and they spent the evenings together talking, playing chess or sometimes they went to Hogsmeade to have a glass of butterbeer and some cookies. On these evenings Severus seemed to forget his future tasks and relaxed a little bit.  
  
If Harry hadn't known that Severus didn't like teaching, now he could sense it perfectly, however, the man never mentioned it. So they avoided any topics concerning the school, very cautiously.  
  
There were several staff meetings in the last week, which just made Severus angrier and more tense. Harry didn't dare to ask about them, Severus always told him the things related to him.  
  
"We made a deal with Albus and even the staff accepted it," Severus announced one evening returning from a very long meeting, after he had collapsed into a chair.  
  
"Yes?" Harry lifted his eyes from the book he was reading. It wasn't a schoolbook and - at Severus' surprise - neither a quidditch book, it was a novel Harry had found on the bookshelf. Harry didn't know himself why he had begun to read it really, perhaps because he had seen the name 'Noblestone' written on a page, but he didn't regret. It was a historical book about the goblin riots in the Middle Age, but it was really interesting unlike Professor Binns' monotonous explanations. Its main character was Ulric the Ugly (Harry had never heard his name before), but Urg the Unclean (the leader of the main goblin riot in that century) was mentioned in it too, and Harry noticed surprised that he remembered this name from the previous year's history classes. And there was a Noblestone girl too, who had been involved in the second riot... It was so strange. He heard the name 'Noblestone' just three weeks ago, but since then he had come across it several times.  
  
"I'm glad you like that book," Severus smiled. "It was one of my favourites when I was fifteen. It's a very well-written book and its historical references are precise, so you can learn a lot from it."  
  
Harry frowned. He didn't read the book to learn or memorize it and Severus' remark suddenly made it less interesting.  
  
"Oh," Snape suddenly went on. "About the meeting: Albus managed to convince the staff that you can stay with me during the school year."  
  
"Wow!" Harry jumped on his feet and flung his arms around Severus' neck. "That's cool!" he shouted in joy.  
  
"Hey! Quiet! Don't shout into my ears!" Snape grumbled in mocked annoyance.  
  
"I KNEW it!" Harry's eyes were lit up in anger.  
  
"What?"  
  
"That you would play idiotic games with my name."  
  
"Alright then: shut up," a smirk appeared on his face.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.  
  
"And what about the sorting?" he asked after a while. "Which house do you want me to be sorted into? Slytherin, just to be with you?"  
  
Snape glanced at him seriously.  
  
"It's not a matter of my wish, Quiet. You're a Gryffindor and you will always be. But it would be extremely dangerous to put you back into your house."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"They know you all too well and would recognise you in no time by your manners..."  
  
Harry suddenly sat down as his feet trembled and he couldn't breathe. No... It can't be true! Severus would finally managed to put him in Ravenclaw... or even worse in Slytherin...  
  
"You mean that...?" he didn't dare to finish the question.  
  
"I mean that you won't be sorted," he said simply.  
  
"What?" Harry's jaw fell in disbelief.  
  
"You heard me."  
  
Severus was nervous: he looked at Harry intensely to see his words' effects on him. The boy closed his eyes in thought. So he wouldn't be sorted. Well, it rendered things less complicated. He wouldn't have to pretend amongst the Gryffindors that he was not Harry, that he didn't know anybody, he wouldn't have to change his usual routines. He wouldn't have to face the Slytherins as one of them, and he wouldn't have to spend his free time in the same rooms as Malfoy and his cronies. On the other hand he wouldn't have to suffer in Ravenclaw forcing himself to reach levels too high for him. And last but not least he wouldn't have to be in Cedric's ex-house either.  
  
"How did the staff accepted it?" he asked.  
  
Severus smiled in relief.  
  
"It wasn't too simple. Professor Flitwick, struggled to have you in Ravenclaw and even Minerva seemed to wish that you were in her house..."  
  
"Just you and Professor Sprout sat in silence."  
  
"Well, yes. She was sure that a Snape descendant wouldn't be in Hufflepuff. As for me..." he suddenly turned tired and a strange, distant expression appeared on his face. "I didn't want you in my house knowing your previous experiences with its members. Not to mention that there are Draco and his friends, and I really don't know how they will react after this summer's events."  
  
Severus fell silent. He stretched his legs, leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. His expression didn't change, it remained distant and closed. Harry stared at him intently trying to figure out its meaning. He was sure he had seen it before, perhaps in Nightmare Manor...?  
  
"Severus, is there anything wrong?" he finally asked.  
  
A pair of black eyes locked in his.  
  
"The Headmaster told the staff my story."  
  
Harry didn't understand.  
  
"What story?"  
  
"My Death Eater experiences, Quietus, the spying, and my present situation. It wasn't a comfortable tale for me. I could see their reactions and..." he didn't continue. He didn't want to tell Harry about the disgust, the hatred, the rejection and the fear he had experienced.  
  
"They... they didn't know it...?" Harry stuttered.  
  
"Of course not," he snapped in return. "Except for Minerva. My role was too important to risk it by telling everybody about it."  
  
"I don't think it was too wise to let them know even now... It will be hard enough for you to come to terms with your own house again."  
  
"I don't have to come to terms with them. They are children and I'm the professor. My personal life is not their business, and it never was. Just because you got to know me personally it doesn't mean that they too ever did."  
  
Harry nodded, however, he had other presuppositions. The Potions Master's behaviour and favouritism towards his own house made him believe that he was closer to his house members than McGonagall was to her Gryffindors. When he finally told Severus this he smiled slightly.  
  
"Didn't you notice that even she favours her house?"  
  
"No. Never," Harry answered sincerely.  
  
"And what about her bending the rules to get you on the quidditch team? Or some other incident, which you never got a punishment for? Flying car? Stunning a professor? And what do you think about your past potions' marks?" Severus could see Harry shifting uncomfortably and his smile widened. "But it still doesn't mean that you are on personal terms with her. She was the professor and you were the student."  
  
"And Malfoy?"  
  
"I never let him befriend me in school. Here, we weren't on a first-name basis. Only during the holidays."  
  
"I see..." Harry nodded then suddenly asked. "And what, do you think the staff's reaction will be to your... past?"  
  
Severus' face turned distant again.  
  
"I don't know," he whispered. "I don't think they will be more friendly to me after this. They never liked me, but now..."  
  
"But... they won't do anything against you, will they?"  
  
"No," Severus shook his head. "They won't because Albus won't let them."  
  
Harry looked at the familiar face lined with tiredness and pain and felt sorrow for the man. Really, Severus wasn't over his past and this staff meeting had been too hard for him. To face his colleagues' disgust or rejection... Though, Severus didn't mention it, Harry KNEW by his expression what the effect of Headmaster's tale had been. He stepped to the chair and sat on its arm.  
  
"Severus," he began quietly. "I..."  
  
Snape lifted his head and slight annoyance glittered in his eyes.  
  
"What?" he barked.  
  
"I just wanted to say that I won't let you be hurt. As you are there for me, I am there for you."  
  
The annoyance was suddenly turned into something else, something akin... love? Snape smiled, however his smile was a little bit sad.  
  
"Harry, I can handle their attitude. You don't have to bother with it. But thank you nevertheless."  
  
"No, it's not about bothering. I just wanted to say that you are not alone..." Harry suddenly felt himself ridiculous. Snape had always been able to handle things alone. He certainly didn't need his help to get through it. He lowered his head and could feel his face turning red slightly.  
  
"I know, Harry. And, believe me, I deeply appreciate your offer."  
  
"Really?" Harry mumbled uncertainly.  
  
"Sure. It had to be a kind of remainder of those infamous psychological facts..."  
  
"The happy days..." Harry wondered. "But I'm afraid there are much more remainders of them... The unhappy ones."  
  
"Yes. And we have plenty of them. Painful ropes which bind us to the past. Memories and haunting feelings, which try to confine our lives. We have to come off them. To break free again. I'm sure that we, and especially that you are able to do it."  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
The next day when Harry was reading in the living room of Severus' quarters - he read the same book despite Snape's remark about its high educational value - a soft knocking disturbed him. It was the Transfiguration professor.  
  
"I'm here to fix a time-table for you, Mr Snape," she said after the greetings. "Could you come with me to my office?"  
  
"Of course," Harry gulped. "Do... do I have to take exams too?" he asked nervously.  
  
"You mean now?" When Harry nodded she cast a reassuring smile at him.  
  
"Oh, no, don't be afraid. I don't have time to check your knowledge now," she explained on their way to the office. "I accept your word and your father's testimony about it, alright?"  
  
Harry couldn't help but grin widely in return.  
  
"Which classes will I attend?"  
  
"It depends on the things you have already learnt."  
  
Later Harry realised that it was pure luck that the professor didn't test him: the mere procedure of questioning him about his studies and fixing the time-table took more than two hours.  
  
"So, that was about the basics," said McGonagall after two hours. It wasn't entirely true that she didn't examine Harry's level of knowledge either, but she asked only basic things just to check Harry's level. At the end she sighed in satisfaction. "Very well. I don't think you will have problems with the fifth year curriculum. But you have to choose two additional classes. Which ones do you want to pick?"  
  
Harry shrugged.  
  
"I don't know what are those additional courses, madam," he answered politely.  
  
"Arithmancy, Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, Ancient Runes and Muggle Studies. I don't suggest the last one, it's totally meaningless for you, or Divination either."  
  
Harry couldn't help but grin at this remark.  
  
"I don't think your father would be pleased if you chose them. I think Arithmancy and Ancient Runes would be fine for you."  
  
"Well, madam, I've already learnt a little about magical creatures..." Harry reacted instantly frightened by the two strange-sounding subjects. Hermione used to talk a lot about them but Harry didn't have a clue what they were about.  
  
"Really?" McGonagall smiled in satisfaction. "Then you will have to choose only one subject."  
  
"Divination sounds interesting. Knowing the future is quite useful, isn't it?" Harry challenged.  
  
"I don't think your father would be too pleased to hear that. If you are so interested in knowing the future I'd rather suggest Arithmancy. It's like Divination, but it's more complex and interesting and has considerably more value too. I'm sure Severus will help you if you need or I can arrange for a tutor."  
  
Harry didn't dare resist the stern tone. But what the hell was Arithmancy? He looked at the professor desperately as she scribbled down the details, sometimes casting a glance at the other papers lying on her table.  
  
"So, Mr Snape," she lifted her head finally, "which house's classes do you want to attend?"  
  
"What?" Harry asked in return. "Er... sorry, madam, but I don't understand the question..."  
  
"You won't be sorted, as you surely know," when Harry nodded she went on "but in our school the different house's classes have different time- tables.  
  
"I see..." Harry gulped. "I don't know..."  
  
As he said the last word a very important thing came to mind.  
  
"But, if it's possible not the Ravenclaw, please."  
  
McGonagall sighed.  
  
"I see you have serious aversions to Ravenclaw. Could you tell me your reasons?"  
  
"Nothing special, madam. As I've already told you I'm not talented enough to be there and I think if I attend classes with them every teacher would treat me as one of them."  
  
McGonagall couldn't suppress a sad smile.  
  
"I think they will expect you to study as diligently as your father and uncle did anyway. But I can understand your wish, and naturally we have the opportunity to put you in another class... Very well. I think I will put you with the Gryffindor fifth year then and since I'm the appointed person to monitor your studies it makes my task easier too."  
  
Harry's heart almost stopped in surprise. But, well, he might have known. Even the Hufflepuffs and the Slytherins had common lessons with the Ravenclaws. If he didn't want to be in those classes he would have to be with the Gryffindors.  
  
"However you will have Arithmancy with Ravenclaw, I'm sorry."  
  
Harry didn't mind. He would be with his friends! He would have the chance to befriend them again! He wanted to shout with joy.  
  
"Anyway, if you have problems with your studies or time-table you know where you can find me," with this she handed the time-table to Harry.  
  
"Of course, madam. Thank you."  
  
When Harry told Severus the news he congratulated him.  
  
"However I think you should have meals at the Slytherin table."  
  
"What?" Harry was taken aback.  
  
"Because I'm the head of that house," he said calmly, "and while you were so kind to call my attention to coming to terms with them I suggest to you the same. You are not supposed to be a Gryffindor so it's more natural if you sit at the Slytherin table."  
  
"Yeah, you're right," Harry's good mood darkened a little, "I'll try it."  
  
"I don't know how they will react," Snape put his hand on Harry's shoulder, "but, believe me, they are not as bad as they are considered to be. Please, try not to judge them by their house or by the common stereotype. Give them a chance."  
  
Harry nodded firmly.  
  
"But you know, that even I will need a chance?" he turned to Severus.  
  
"Many of us need..."  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Harry was petrified. He stood next to the first years facing the Great Hall and struggled not to look anywhere. It wasn't too easy so he often lifted his eyes to the bewitched ceiling, which showed a wonderful sunset.  
  
"... and before we begin our well-deserved dinner I want to introduce you a new student who isn't a first-year. He will be in the fifth year, however he is 16 now and I'm sure many of you have already noticed him, and perhaps even his parentage." Dumbledore smiled widely, but as Harry glanced at Snape he could see him fuming and sneering in his usual manner.  
  
"He is new in the wizarding world, so, please help him to find his place in the school, amongst you..."  
  
As the Headmaster reached this point Harry became so nervous that he could barely hear or see. He dreaded the moment when his name would be announced aloud; he dreaded the hatred and rejection it would earn, and most of all he dreaded the moment when he would have to join the students at the Slytherin table: he would be touched at least for some handshakes, and he would have to eat normally as every boy of his age did. He looked at Snape again who in the meantime noticed his nervousness and nodded at him reassuringly.  
  
Suddenly Harry wanted to be over with all this stuff, to sit in Severus' living room reading or rather cuddling to him for a little comfort - but he was ashamed at this thought. He was almost an adult. He couldn't behave like a stupid little child! Anne was stronger than he was!  
  
"His name is Quietus Snape, and he is professor Snape's son - as I think it was obvious to you. He won't be sorted for certain reasons, which are NOT your business," the Headmaster winked at the Weasley twins who just grinned in return, "and he will stay with his father. But now I want to ask Slytherin House's members to allow him to have his meal at their table."  
  
So the worst part of the day arrived. Harry looked at the Slytherins who stared back unsurely. The Great Hall was silent. Most of the students were still under the announcement's effects - the news was pretty interesting. A new boy - but not being eleven, not being sorted and having Snape as his father... Then the whispers began.  
  
"It can't be true..."  
  
"Good lord, another Snape..."  
  
"He looks like him..."  
  
"Why isn't he in Slytherin?"  
  
"Who would have thought that Snape had a child?"  
  
And so on, without an end. Only the Slytherin table was numb. It was just too sudden and strange. Their Head of House having a child - seemingly a half-muggle child as he didn't know the wizarding world... Many glanced at Snape but he wore his usual expressionless mask, as if sneering were not an expression. His face softened a little as he looked at the stumbling Harry. He wanted to help the boy, to take him away from the crowded Hall, he knew precisely how he felt and how he feared this evening. But he couldn't do anything, just as he had been still in Voldemort's hell. Well, this situation was hardly similar to that, however, Snape was sure Harry's feelings were not much better.  
  
Harry stopped at the end of the table looking for a free place. When he looked over it he couldn't see any. Then an excited movement caught his eye. Some of the Slytherin sixth years made room for him and waved at him. He nodded and marched towards them. Before sitting he cast a last glance at Snape, who now smiled at him earning some surprised gasps from the still staring students. Harry smiled back and sat down.  
  
Suddenly the noise level returned to the usual - but this time the topic was him, Harry could hear for a moment. Yes, just for a moment, because in the next instant he had to deal with the excited Slytherins around him.  
  
"Hi, I'm Janus. Janus Moon," was the first sentence, followed by many similar others.  
  
Harry finally couldn't tell how many new names he heard and how many times he repeated his own.  
  
But neither Malfoy nor his followers were among them. Indeed. There was only Nott out of the fifth year boys who introduced himself.  
  
"Ares Nott," he said smiling widely.  
  
Harry was amazed at this. He would have expected only Zabini to do it: as Harry knew Zabini was the only one who didn't have Death Eater relatives.  
  
Nott's father was certainly a Death Eater. And he was grinning at Harry nevertheless. Zabini, on the opposite, was embarrassed as he sat next to him fixing his eyes on his plate, but his ears were red.  
  
"So we will not be together in classes," said Janus who was in the sixth year where Harry was supposed to be too.  
  
"No, and I won't be with the Slytherin fifth years either," Harry added. Janus' eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Professor McGonagall fixed my time-table to be with the Gryffindors."  
  
For an instant Harry was ashamed. It wasn't entirely true. But the professor didn't owe an explanation to the Slytherins unlike him.  
  
"With the fools?" Janus' expression was shocked this time.  
  
"Fools?" Harry got angry but he tried to suppress this feeling.  
  
"Well, we have a short verse for the four houses," the boy smirked. "It's naturally not the official opinion of the houses, but it's truer, I tell you. It says: 'Hufflepuff for idiots, Gryffindor for fools, Ravenclaw for bigheadeds, Slytherin for cools.'"  
  
"I don't know who wrote this verse but he wasn't Shakespeare..." Harry shrugged and turned his attention to his plate trying to eat at least some bites. It wasn't easy.  
  
He had to notice that whatever the Slytherins' opinions of him were nobody dared to say it aloud. Harry could see the uncomfortable shifting, feel the unsaid words, but he was left alone and he was very grateful for this. After dinner ended he turned, relieved, towards the dungeons with the Slytherins, but some things happened. The first was Leah Moon, another fifth year from Hufflepuff.  
  
"Hey, Jan," she stepped up to the sixth year Slytherin. "I think mum packed my quills in your trunk and I need them tomorrow. Can you bring them to me at breakfast?"  
  
"Yeah," Janus turned to Harry who was still standing next to him. "She's my sister, Leah," he introduced her to Harry.  
  
"Quietus Snape, nice to meet you," Harry said politely and smiled at her.  
  
Leah blushed violently and, mumbling something under her breath, she turned on her heel and ran away.  
  
"What did you say about the idiots?" Harry turned to Janus who blushed like his sister and couldn't answer a word. Harry was about to add a harsh remark to it when his glance fell to a figure standing in front of him.  
  
He turned his gaze to him.  
  
It was Malfoy. A very evil-looking Malfoy with a disdainful smile on his face.  
  
"So, you're the newest member of the Snape family."  
  
Harry didn't answer just looked at him coldly and wished he had been any other place than that.  
  
"The disgrace of the pureblood families..."  
  
Harry crossed his arms.  
  
"What do you mean, Malfoy?" he hissed angrily.  
  
"Oh, so you know my name," he replied. Harry knocked himself mentally for the unwanted slip of tongue. "I think your father told you of us..."  
  
Harry didn't answer just stood there waiting for the continuation.  
  
"It's a real shame that a half-muggle will be the heir of an old, noble pureblood family."  
  
"What did you say, Malfoy?" Harry leaned forward into the blond boy's face. "A half-muggle is a shame?" he hissed. "What would your father's 'little idol' say if he heard this remark, what do you think?"  
  
Fear crossed Malfoy's face and he stepped back.  
  
"You... you..."  
  
"Be careful, Malfoy, I say you, if you don't want to die too early..."  
  
"How dare you..."  
  
"You're so pathetic, Malfoy. Do you think I will get scared of this little show of yours?"  
  
Their short conversation began to call the attention of the others standing near them. Suddenly Malfoy looked up at the staring people, shrugged and cast a last glance to Harry.  
  
"Don't think this is the last time..."  
  
"I'm REALLY petrified, stupefied by you," Harry said in mock fear. A harsh laugh snapped next to him. Janus was standing there and laughing at the leaving blonde.  
  
"Big-headed asshole..." he said when Malfoy was out of earshot. "He thinks his family has the clearest blood in Britain. And his father is as insupportable as he is. He visited my parents this summer and he behaved like he was Merlin himself..."  
  
"Your parents were Slytherin, weren't they?" Harry asked curiously.  
  
"My mum. My father was a Ravenclaw..."  
  
"And... what about your sister?"  
  
Janus shrugged.  
  
"She is really different from us. She is shy and... well. Different."  
  
"Quietus?"  
  
Snape stepped close to them. Janus turned serious as he greeted the professor. He just bowed in return and placed his hand on Harry's shoulder.  
  
"Come. You, Mr Moon go to the common room. It's getting late."  
  
"Yes, professor," Janus said quickly and followed his mates. "Good night."  
  
" 'night," Harry smiled slightly.  
  
"Are you okay?" Snape asked cautiously when they were finally in the living room.  
  
Harry wanted to answer 'yes', when he felt his body trembling and his head turned dizzy. He raised one leg to step to the sofa when the world became black and blurry around him. He fell onto the ground.  
  
"Harry, Harry, what's the problem?" Severus knelt next him and shifted one arm behind Harry's body and folded him into his arms.  
  
Harry in that moment was too weak to answer. He buried his face in Severus' robes and sighed in relief. He felt Severus pick him up and put him on the sofa.  
  
"Did somebody hurt you?"  
  
He just shook his head 'no'. Severus didn't go on with his questions, just tightened his embrace around Harry until his trembling faded.  
  
"I think it was a little bit... too much all at once. The Headmaster's announcement, the glares, the whispers, the Slytherins and most of all that lot of people around me... I was dreading that somebody would touch me or recognise me... I don't think I will have breakfast tomorrow with them."  
  
"Harry, we..."  
  
"Quietus, please. I really appreciate that you call me Harry, but it's too dangerous. Please, call me Quietus, even if I'm having my usual troubles."  
  
"Alright, Quiet. We have to have breakfast in the Great Hall. At least I must."  
  
"I won't. I don't want to go mad at the very beginning of the day."  
  
Severus didn't answer just rubbed Harry's back smoothly.  
  
"I hate my bloody weakness..."  
  
"You aren't weak."  
  
"I'm not supposed to always run and cuddle to you like a baby."  
  
"I don't mind it, Quiet."  
  
"But I do!'  
  
"Then don't. Nobody knows and nobody will know it."  
  
"It's so ridiculous..."  
  
"You need more time to get through everything, which happened this summer. Months. Not days."  
  
"But it's been almost a month!"  
  
"Just ONE month."  
  
Harry didn't answer just shut his eyes. They were sitting in front of the empty fireplace for long hours. When Severus noticed that Harry had fallen asleep he took him to the bed. He went to sleep later. And when he awoke for the third time to Harry's heavy stirring and moaning he picked up his blanket and lay next to the boy. For the last few days he hadn't needed to do this as Harry's sleep became calmer and calmer, but now it seemed that the first days' nights would be difficult again.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
When Harry entered the Transfiguration classroom he suddenly regretted his decision to be with the Gryffindors. He felt simultaneously familiar and strange as he looked at the others' faces. Everybody in the classroom was staring at him as he stood in the doorframe with his books in his hand.  
  
He hadn't known it would be so difficult. So uncomfortable.  
  
"Hi," he said shyly and hated himself for it.  
  
Nobody greeted him in return. They were just staring at him in a hostile manner.  
  
Harry didn't know where to sit so he just stood next to the door and felt himself unbelievably idiotic.  
  
"Er... I think you should sit down," to Harry's surprise it was Neville who said the first words to him. To a Snape!  
  
"Yes," he said but he didn't move. He glanced towards his usual seat and... at Ron. Then Hermione. Then Dean, Seamus, Patil. Hostile glares.  
  
"What are you doing here, Snape?" Ron stepped towards him and crossed his arms. "This is NOT the Slytherin fifth year class! Can't you see?"  
  
Harry looked at his best friend's eyes. He didn't know what to do. His head was dizzy again and as Ron moved closer it turned to a firm nausea.  
  
"I have Transfiguration here. With the fifth year Gryffindors," his voice was hoarse as he struggled not to retch in nervousness.  
  
His announcement earned several gasps from the other occupants of the classroom.  
  
"No. You won't," Ron said and grabbed Harry's arm. It was the worst thing he could have done. In the next moment Harry's books fell to the floor and he jumped back in panic.  
  
"DON'T touch me!" he hissed at the surprised boy angrily just as he regained his composure. His nausea passed and he felt strong. "You have no right to give me orders, Ron."  
  
"I'm not 'Ron' to you, Snape," the red-headed boy spat angrily.  
  
"What's going on here?" snapped McGonagall's voice behind Ron.  
  
"Nothing, madam," Ron stepped back and casting a last glare at Harry he returned to his place.  
  
Harry leaned over to pick up his books from the floor.  
  
"What happened, Mr Snape?" the professor asked him.  
  
"I've just dropped my books..." he straightened up and looked at the woman calmly. "I don't know where to sit, madam."  
  
"There's a free place next to Mr Weasley..."  
  
"No!" Ron said angrily. "That's Harry's..."  
  
Harry lowered his head and sighed.  
  
"Then next to Mr Longbottom I think..." McGonagall ushered Harry to his place and cast a serious glance to her class. "Mr Snape will attend lessons with you. Please help him in adapting to the new situation..."  
  
Harry couldn't hear any more words. Adapting... it wouldn't be easy, just as he had thought.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Arithmancy... He couldn't help but shudder as he thought of it. All of his free time in the last week he had passed studying the blasted subject to be at least half-competent for the first day. To his immense surprise it was only Hermione out of the Gryffindor fifth years who attended this class. But there was the whole Ravenclaw fifth year, and Nott and Malfoy from Slytherin. Again the same problem: he didn't know where to sit. As he was just standing bewildered Nott waved at him.  
  
"Hey, Quietus! Come here," and he gestured to the empty seat next to him.  
  
Harry nodded and as he got closer to the boy he wondered that he'd never spoken with him before. Never. However, they had been attending mostly the same classes for four year.  
  
"Thanks, Nott..."  
  
"Don't Nott me, mate. Call me Ares or Ari if you like it," he said and looked expectantly at Harry.  
  
"Okay, Ares. Why is it that Malfoy doesn't sit next to you?"  
  
"Why should he...?" Ares asked in surprise.  
  
"Well, you're in the same house..."  
  
"That's not a matter of friendship. I can't stand the spoiled git with his idiot cronies. You certainly saw them: the two fat boys..."  
  
"Yeah," Harry cracked a half-smile. He remembered that he'd never seen Ares sitting with the other Slytherins. He always stayed separated. "They don't seem to be too intelligent..." he went on the conversation.  
  
"Well, they aren't," he said then he asked. "Why weren't you in Charms?"  
  
"I had Transfiguration."  
  
"You don't attend classes with the Slytherins...?"  
  
"No. I attend them with the Gryffindors."  
  
Ares arched an eyebrow.  
  
"Strange."  
  
Harry just shrugged.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Well... at least you don't have to be always with the 'Wonderful Five'."  
  
"You mean?"  
  
"Malfoy's little followers: he, the two cronies and the two girls, Pansy and Millicent."  
  
"And... Zabini?"  
  
"He prefers staying alone. Like me. But while I'm pureblood and Malfoy's troop doesn't dare to tease me, he is muggle-born and they always irritate him. Idiots..."  
  
"Malfoy tried to tease me yesterday."  
  
"'cause you're half-muggle?"  
  
Harry just nodded.  
  
"Yeah, I heard what you answered to him. They kept talking about it in the dormitory for half the night..." his face turned serious. "You should be more cautious with your remarks. It's not too wise to voice comments like that."  
  
Harry was about to answer when the professor entered the classroom.  
  
It was a VERY long lesson. Math and mysticism, difficult, but interesting. During the last week's tutoring, when Snape had tried to explain to him the important parts of this subject he had become thoroughly bored with it and had dreaded the future lessons. But now he was impressed.  
  
His enthusiasm lessened somehow as the teacher, Professor Vector gave them an assignment to write a paper about the prime numbers and their use in a coded text's deciphering. Harry had the suspicion that he would pass his afternoon in the library.  
  
After the lesson he went to the Great Hall with Ares to have lunch then they went together to Hagrid's hut.  
  
Harry suddenly felt something wrong. However, he couldn't say, what. Then his glance fell Hagrid's hound snoring peacefully at the door of Hagrid's hut.  
  
Fang. He smiled. Fang hadn't been at the school in the last few weeks, he must have been with Hagrid. They had arrived just two days ago and Harry hadn't had the opportunity to meet them.  
  
As Harry and Ares stepped closer the dog lifted his eyes and stood up.  
  
Harry knew for sure that something was wrong. But what?  
  
The next moment it became clear.  
  
Fang jumped onto Harry. Harry strumbled into Ares and they all fell onto the ground under the dog's weight.  
  
He felt a wet thing on his face.  
  
Then everything went black.  
  
...  
  
...  
  
"Hey, mate, wake up! Wake up!" Harry could hear Ares' desperate shouting from above. He opened his eyes slowly and saw a very worried Hagrid and a slightly surprised Ares leaning to him.  
  
"I'm alright..." he groaned and sat up. When he saw Hagrid's hand nearing his shoulder to grab it them he winced and moved away. "Please, don't..." he croaked.  
  
Hagrid lowered his hand instantly.  
  
"Hey, mate, do you want a glass of water?" Nott asked and Harry nodded.  
  
"Sorry for Fang's behaviour... He's never behaved like this with strangers... He is generally er... quite cowardly and shy, I don't know why he attacked you..."  
  
"He didn't attack me I guess," Harry sighed. "He just greeted me and licked my face..."  
  
"Really? Strange. I thought..." Hagrid babbled flushing and stood up. He reached his hand to Harry to help him up but he moved away again from him. "I think you should go to the Infirmary..." he said.  
  
"No, I'll be fine," Harry said. "I just... got frightened by the dog, I think." Yes, it was half-true. The dog. And the other half was Nott. The body-contact.  
  
Harry stood up, stepped to the excited dog and caressed his back.  
  
"It's alright."  
  
"So you're professor Snape's son, aren't you?" Hagrid said finally.  
  
"Yes," said Harry shortly. He was sure he would earn a despising look from the half-giant.  
  
"You're like his brother, you know?" Hagrid, however didn't seem to detest him. Just the opposite.  
  
"I know. Everybody says that. Even our names are identical," Harry added the last sentence sarcastically, but Hagrid didn't seem to notice his sarcasm.  
  
"Are you Quiet then too?"  
  
"Quiet? Only Seve... my father uses that nickname for me."  
  
"Sorry, I used to call his brother that."  
  
"Did you know him?" Harry got curious.  
  
"Yes. We were sort of... friends. I already worked here when he started school. He came to me many times. Generally with your father. They loved animals, and animals loved them too... Like they do in your case seemingly."  
  
Harry sighed again and cast a glance at Fang.  
  
No. Fang didn't greet him because he was like his father or Severus. He greeted him because he was Harry Potter and the dog knew it. Harry shuddered as he thought of his godfather. Fortunately Sirius wasn't really a dog. Just an animagus.  
  
But the idea of Severus coming to Hagrid to visit him was just... strange. Harry suddenly remembered when he had attended his first year in Hogwarts and they had suspected that he had been after the philosopher's stone, Hagrid had defended him. Hagrid had always defended him. Somehow Hagrid liked Severus. It was a strange thought though.  
  
"Let's go to the lesson now, Mr Snape," Hagrid said finally.  
  
"Sir, er... I think you can call me Quiet... if you want."  
  
The giant smiled at him.  
  
"Don't sir me. Just Hagrid."  
  
"Alright. Thanks."  
  
As they walked towards the waiting classes talking quietly Harry managed to calm down. But as they got near he instantly realized that he now had to face Ron and Malfoy at the same time for two hours...  
  
"Do you feel better?" Harry heard Ares' voice from behind his back. He turned around and saw him with a glass of water in his hand.  
  
"Yes, much better," Harry smiled at him and drank the offered water.  
  
"Did something happen?" stepped Malfoy to them.  
  
"Nothing that would be your business. Sod off." Harry turned to him.  
  
"Hey, Snape, you can't be so snappie... I saw your little collapsing show just now."  
  
His cronies snickered.  
  
"Leave me alone, Malfoy."  
  
"You are so brave now, Snape. It's because of your father, isn't it? As a teacher he will protect his precious son who runs to him sobbing..."  
  
"What else do you want to say me about my father, Malfoy? Be careful, you're not at home now," he cast a last glare at him and turned around. Their conversation was barely audible and Harry was sure nobody heard it. Certainly Ron, who was now standing face-to-face with him.  
  
"As I see you have found your place, Snape. Why don't you join your house? Daddy's house?"  
  
For a very short instant Harry felt a strong urge to grin widely. Snape as his father was a thought he was now familiar with, but to refer him as 'Daddy'. No. Severus was everything but daddy.  
  
"He is not a Slytherin, didn't you hear the Headmaster, Weasley? He isn't sorted, so you can't refer him as a Slytherin." It was now Ares.  
  
"It's none of your business, Nott. Or are you defending him as your partner- in-crime?"  
  
"Your point is?"  
  
"I know about your fathers' er..." he smiled evilly, "preferences..."  
  
Ares just stood staring obtusely at Ron, Harry, however, got so nervous than he could barely speak.  
  
"How dare you..."  
  
"I saw the proof."  
  
The Infirmary, last year... Yes, but they had thought then that Snape was a spy for the Headmaster and... No. It didn't make sense.  
  
"Your father is working for the Ministry. He surely told you about his... summer experiences."  
  
"He deserved it, Snape. He didn't get anything else but what he deserved."  
  
It was suddenly too difficult to discuss. They were Snape's words too.  
  
Harry clenched his teeth in nervousness. But Ares now managed to open his mouth.  
  
"I really don't understand what you are talking about. What this whole stuff is?"  
  
"And now you pretend that you don't know! Don't be ridiculous, Nott!" Ron yelled and everybody's attention turned to them. Ron blushed and left them alone.  
  
Harry felt that somebody touched his arm. Fighting with the urge to wince he looked at Nott standing still in astonishment.  
  
"Hey, mate what was it? What did he say?"  
  
Harry tried to swallow, his mouth felt dry and his throat tight. Nott didn't know. And... why was it HIS task to enlighten him about his father? Just tell him 'your father is a Death Eater'? Or what?  
  
He sighed and whispered as quietly as he could.  
  
"I think he supposes that all the Slytherins are er... You-Know-Who's followers." He almost said Voldemort's name. "Like your father. And mine."  
  
"Bloody git..."  
  
"He's just grieving," Harry cast a glance at his ex-friend. He was so close physically... only some meters... but he was so far away from him in every other sense. And, perhaps they wouldn't have the chance to rebuild their friendship again.  
  
After class he sat again next to Fang for some moments. He didn't even notice when Hermione sat next to him, just when she began to speak.  
  
"Please, forgive Ron his behaviour. He's just too sad to judge things correctly. I think your father didn't deserve what he got from You-Know- Who..."  
  
"Why do you think this?" Harry asked suddenly.  
  
"I don't know... I saw him at the funeral, and the night before it... He isn't the man we, students generally think he is."  
  
So she noticed something. And it wasn't a miracle that Ron didn't.  
  
Harry sometimes hated Ron for his prejudices and fast-made opinions.  
  
No, it was not about Severus. It was about him. The wall he would never get over. 


	4. Shield yourself

Betaed by kateydidnt  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
Chapter 4 - Shield yourself  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
"I've heard what happened before Care of Magical Creatures," Snape said that evening when Harry was finally sitting with him in the living room reading the last pages of the novel.  
  
Harry sighed and fixed his attention to the book. He didn't want to look into Severus' eyes, to confess his weakness again...  
  
"Quiet?" his tone now was more serious. "Look at me."  
  
Harry snorted and sighed. Then, slowly, he raised his head.  
  
"What happened precisely?"  
  
"How do you know about it?" Harry asked in return.  
  
"Hagrid told me."  
  
So it was Hagrid. He might have known it after what Hagrid had told him about Quietus and Severus.  
  
"Were you two friends?" he suddenly asked the question, which had been nagging him for hours. His other purpose was avoiding Severus' question.  
  
"No, Quietus was. I had only Slytherin friends."  
  
"But... Hagrid told me that you both visited him..."  
  
"Yes, I visited him many times, but I don't think we were friends. I was always interested in magical creatures as well as plants for my potions... But I asked a question. What happened?"  
  
This was the end. He had to answer.  
  
"Fang, Hagrid's hound recognised me and greeted me in his usual way. He jumped at me and I fell onto Ares and we all collapsed onto the ground. There I... couldn't handle the feeling."  
  
"The bodily contact?"  
  
"Yes. And I fainted."  
  
Snape stood up and began to pace in front of the fireplace.  
  
"We have to find a solution to this."  
  
"I think time will solve it..."  
  
"Perhaps. And why didn't you come to me after the lesson?"  
  
"I had homework and I went to the library to study."  
  
"Homework?"  
  
"Arithmancy, you know. I have problems with it," Harry said and as he saw that Severus opened his mouth to say something he quickly went on. "No, I don't need to be tutored now, Severus. I have been studying the whole afternoon."  
  
"Do you understand everything?"  
  
"Well, there was a definition about the prime numbers' use in ancient divinations..."  
  
"Let's see."  
  
Harry opened his book and unrolled his parchment. Severus sat next to him and they leaned over the problematic passage...  
  
It was almost midnight when they went to bed.  
  
"It's fortunate I told to you that I didn't need to be tutored," Harry mumbled into his pillow. Severus chuckled.  
  
"But you understand it now, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah," Harry yawned. "But, do you know what I'm dreading now?"  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Tomorrow I will have double potions with the Slytherins and Professor Snape... Just after breakfast."  
  
"Don't mention it. The slimy git."  
  
"5 points from Gryffindor for Potter's too loud breathing. 10 points from Gryffindor for Granger's cheating and 50 points from Gryffindor for Neville's explosion."  
  
"You are insolent as always."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry..."  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
When Harry entered the potions classroom he had to face the usual problem again: where to sit. Ares used to sit next to Blaise, there was only Neville who sat alone.  
  
But to sit next to him was just too dangerous. So he stood in the doorframe waiting. It didn't last too long: some minutes later the door opened with a loud boom and Snape ran directly into the unsure Harry.  
  
"What are you standing here?" he asked angrily.  
  
"I don't know where to sit..." Harry mumbled in embarrassment.  
  
They looked at each other for a moment and Harry could see Severus' glare softening.  
  
"You can sit next to Mr Longbottom," he ushered him to the empty place.  
  
Everyone in the classroom was staring at them in awe. This was the first occassion where they could see their Potions Master behaving like any other human being - even the usual scowl was missing from his face. Harry smiled at him in relief, nodded and sat down. As he glanced at Neville out of the corner of his eyes he saw the boy's amazed expression. A Snape sitting next to him? Well, in other classes he could understand. But in Potions?  
  
He turned to him and smiled.  
  
"Hi, Nev... er... Longottom."  
  
Neville froze. He couldn't say a word.  
  
"Open your books at page 12 and take notes. I'll write the potion's ingredients on the board. When you've finished reading it, you can begin to brew it."  
  
The tone was familiar and strange in the same time. Snape's voice was still cold and piercing, but his expression... No scowl, no sneer, none of the usual bitterness. Harry, however felt slightly nervous as he took notes from the text. His incompetence would embarrass Severus, he was sure. Not to mention Neville's wonderful abilities...  
  
When they finally began brewing, his nervousness reached peak levels. He could barely breathe, his hands were shaking. And he didn't have the slightest clue how to add the ingredients into the liquid. How to cut them, what the precise order of putting them in was. He only knew that the colour of the ready concoction had to be a clear, bright blue, but as the time went by it turned into an ugly orange rather than blue.  
  
"We forgot to put the sage in," Neville turned to him suddenly.  
  
"Sage?" Harry furrowed his brows. "I've already put that in."  
  
"When?"  
  
"I don't know," he whispered and they looked at each other perplexed.  
  
"Then... perhaps the temperature of the potion is not high enough."  
  
Harry shrugged.  
  
"Well, I'll try to heat it up a little bit," Neville turned to the cauldron and stirred the fire.  
  
The flames blazed up. The liquid began to steam.  
  
"I think it's enough," Harry gulped at glanced at Neville after some minutes.  
  
"Yeah," he turned to the cauldron to put out the fire. He lifted his wand and murmured a spell. The fire didn't burn out however. Rather, it blazed up again, but this time it was stronger.  
  
"Neville," Harry jumped and pulled out his wand. "Step aside, quick!"  
  
But he had no time to move his hand or say a word: in the next moment the cauldron exploded. Harry reached for Neville and dragged him away from the dangerous area. They fell onto the ground but this time Harry managed to dodge the other boy so at least he didn't faint. Yet. But if Severus...  
  
"Quietus, what was that?" He could see his very pissed off uncle standing over him. Next to him Neville tried to become invisible out of dread. Harry glanced at him, then at Severus again and sighed.  
  
"It exploded," he said matter-of-factly, his face almost as blank and emotionless as Severus' (he trained himself for long hours in front of the mirror to make it perfect, however, he was still far away from perfection).  
  
"I see. But what did you do?" Severus was angry. Very angry. Perhaps the answer wasn't too appropriate.  
  
"Er..." Harry didn't know what to do. If he told Severus about Neville's ineptitude in putting out a simple fire, he would take at least ten points from Gryffindor and give a month of detention to the terrified boy... "I stirred the fire. I think I intensified it..." he gulped and didn't dare to look at the Potions Master. He could feel Neville's wincing next to him.  
  
"Really?"  
  
He just nodded in return, his eyes fixed on his hands.  
  
"Then ten points from Gryffindor for Mr Longbottom's failuren to warn you and a detention for you with Filtch." He turned around and said, "And clean up the mess while the others finish their potions. NOW!"  
  
Harry jumped in feet in surprise and glanced at Neville who just stood frozen staring from Harry to Snape seemingly not knowing what to think.  
  
"Mr Longbottom, should I repeat myself? Clean up the mess NOW!"  
  
Harry could hear Malfoy's snickering and Ron's nervous mumbling while he struggled to remove the traces of the explosion from the desk and the chairs. Sometimes he glanced at Neville who was still under the effect of Harry's behaviour. A Snape - defending him. It had to be hard for him to believe.  
  
While they finished cleaning up, the rest of the class completed their potions and Snape dimissed them.  
  
"Quietus, stay behind," he said to Harry while the class filed out from the classroom. Severus walked at his table, his black robes swishing.  
  
"Yes?" Harry still didn' want to tell Severus what happened. Fortunately he didn't ask him again and he didn't have to lie him, however, disappointment swirled on his face.  
  
"I'll fix you a detention with Filch first, and you will brew this potion again today, after dinner. Understand?" His tone was slightly cold.  
  
"Why Filch?" Harry now lifted his eyes pleadingly. "I'd rather spend a detention with you or Hagrid..."  
  
"I don't want the other students believe that I show favouritism towards you. You aren't a member of any houses so I can't take off points and neither can the other teachers. So be careful: your detentions will be more serious than the other's."  
  
Harry rolled his eyes.  
  
"Beautiful," he murmured and left the classroom.  
  
The corridor, which led to the potions classroom was dark and empty. Harry stopped for a brief moment and he lingered in the past's events. Whenever he had come here he had been exrtemelly nervous and sometimes angry too. The memories of the old, greasy Snape came to his mind. Snape yelling at him, bullying Neville, hurting Hermione and favourizing the Slytherins. The always cold and hateful glances towards him... And now everything had changed. Snape turned Severus, the hatred turned into care, the nervousness turned into longing and the dark dungeons turned to be his home.  
  
Well, perhaps Severus didn't change for anyone else, as Harry studied him during the class he had to assume that he was almost the same: evil remarks about the Gryffindors' work, praises for Slytherins. The only difference was that he now ignored Harry - and even Neville. Yes, Severus was the same as always: the greasy, mean git, narrow-minded, biased, full of prejudices - still much like Sirius, and in a certain sense Ron too, who...  
  
"You did it on purpose."  
  
...held prejudices against his ex-friend and now waited for him in the empty hallway to have a little quarrel with him. Harry turned to Ron.  
  
"What?" he asked confused.  
  
"You sabotaged the potion just to loose points off of Gryffindor."  
  
Harry could feel his anger emerging in his chest.  
  
"Sabotaged? What? I didn't..." he began but Ron interrupted him.  
  
"Then why did you say that to Snape? Don't tell me that you wanted to save Neville?"  
  
"Why not?" Harry asked arrogantly. "And what if I wanted to? Leave me alone. It's not your business."  
  
"Listen, Snape," Ron hissed at him with his clenched teeth. "I don't know what you are up to. Why you expressed condolence to me. Why you are together with us in the lessons. Why you pretend to defend Neville. Why you try to befriend Hagrid. But don't forget, I won't believe you. Never."  
  
Harry gulped. Suddenly, it was too much to bear.  
  
"I understand," he managed to whisper and circling Ron faced the DADA classroom.  
  
So Ron would never believe him. Ron would never give him a chance. He was lost to him. And he would remain lost.  
  
It was... bad. It hurt. And all of it was the result of the stupid secret- keeping. He stopped. He would tell him! He couldn't pretend otherwise any more! He wanted Ron back, his friendship and... But no. No, not because of the fear of the possible tortures. He was really related to Snape and now he could see that Ron had serious aversions towards the professor. And Ron... had already left him in a lurch in a much more serious situation than this, when he had needed his help. And now, if he had let him know that he was Harry Potter... or was he? Who was he? Confusion swirled in his mind.  
  
Harry sat on the stair.  
  
He was Harry Potter. But he wasn't James Potter's son. He was a Snape. Well, he wasn't Severus' son either but he wasn't sure Ron could distinguish. If indeed he could. He was a Snape and not a Potter and it would be enough reason to hate him.  
  
And, Harry thought, it was better that Ron hated him as Quietus Snape than as he would have hated him as Harry Potter, son of Quietus Snape and nephew of Severus Snape.  
  
It wasn't a happy thought. Not at all.  
  
He could feel tears burning in his eyes. No! He wasn't allowed to cry, to show weakness! He clenched his hands in frustration and stood up.  
  
Defense Against the Dark Arts.  
  
He was late.  
  
Detention again. He shuddered.  
  
It would have been better to choose Slytherin. Or even Ravenclaw. Now he had to face the Gryffindors' hatred again and to bear the consequence of his tardiness. He resisted the urge to turn around and march to Severus' quarters, lock the door behind him and never come out. Instead, he lifted his bag and put his legs one after the other.  
  
He was late. Too late.  
  
Two detentions in one day. Marvelous. Quietus Snape, the offspring of the Snape family, the bright and cunning Snapes, was unable to brew a potion properly, was unable to get to classes in time. Not to mention the other lacks of ability, such as touching, sleeping or eating. He leaned against the wall with trembling legs. He didn't want this day to go on.  
  
"Quietus, are you alright?" a concerned voice sounded behind him.  
  
It was the Headmaster.  
  
"I will be late to my defense lesson," Harry sighed. "And... I don't..."  
  
Dumbledore cast a sympathetic look at him.  
  
"I will accompany you, and I will excuse your delay, alright?"  
  
The first positive event of the day.  
  
"Thank you, Headmaster."  
  
"You are welcome."  
  
They faced the defense room again.  
  
"How are you doing?" Dumbledore's voice broke the silence.  
  
"Hard," Harry sighed. "It seems that all decisions I made turned to be wrong."  
  
"You mean...?"  
  
"That I'm not sorted, I'm with the Gryffindors in lessons..."  
  
"These weren't your decisions alone. And this is just the second day of school, Quietus. You'll see it will be much better..."  
  
"I hope."  
  
Despite Dumbledore's company, the arrival to the class wasn't too comfortable. Harry saw the students' and the teacher's annoyance over his delay and he sat next to Neville as fast as he could. He didn't look at him or at anybody, he opened his book, took his quill in hand and began to scribble the notes from the board.  
  
All of it was becoming too uncomfortable. Mrs Figg's speaking about shields and shielding spells, defence tactics during wizards' duel... The same Mrs Figg he could have seen several times making tea and showing boring photos of his beloved cats, who had taken care of him when the Dursleys had had other things to do or attend, whose leg had been broken by Dudley, the old, perhaps a little senile woman - now explaining about spells and tactic and dark wizards... And she wasn't old really, he seemed to be in her fourties. All was just too strange and Harry couldn't concentrate at the material. Sometimes he lifted his eyes and struggled to pay more attention but he couldn't.  
  
Everything was too strange. His whole life.  
  
He didn't like it. Not at all.  
  
"...and we will learn about this kind of spells too. Many of them are not the part of the general curriculum but I will teach them to you nevertheless. There are two main kinds of shielding spells..."  
  
Everybody was paying attention, even Neville, only Harry found it hard to listen.  
  
Spells, shields... And what could you do if you didn't have your wand to defend yourself? When you were encircled by the enemy and you were alone? What kind of spell was strong enough to save you, your life?  
  
If he had known any shielding spell in front of Voldemort... But what could you do when you had to bear the curses defenseless?  
  
"Please, Mr Thomas..."  
  
As Harry snapped out of his gaze he could see Dean stepping in front of the professor, his wand in hand.  
  
"Its name is Clipeus, which was the name of a little, round shield, used in the Roman army. It's the easiest to learn and use. But, remember it, it only shields from the simple, similarly easy spells and curses only. Like, for example, Tarantallegra. I now ask Mr Thomas to throw me the mentioned curse. Right?"  
  
Dean nodded and they assumed the classic duelling posture and raised their wands.  
  
"Tarantallegra!" Dean shouted. And Mrs Figg in the same time.  
  
"Clipeus!"  
  
The air vibrated around the woman and the spell faded instantly. The professor nodded at Dean.  
  
"You can sit down, Mr Thomas. So? Did you notice anything important?"  
  
Naturally it was Hermione's hand, which was lifted first.  
  
"Miss Granger?"  
  
"The shield didn't reflect the spell but absorbed it."  
  
"Very well, Miss Granger. 5 points. Other things to notice?"  
  
Silence. Harry looked at the others, but nobody raised their hand. He cleared his throat quietly and lifted his hand cautiously.  
  
The professor turned to him. She had brown eyes, many times bright brown (as she had talked about her cats), but now they were cold and Harry could feel the rejection in them. He winced.  
  
"Mr Snape?"  
  
"You pointed your wand to yourself."  
  
The woman just stared at him for a moment then nodded.  
  
"Can you tell me the reason behind it too?" she asked, but the tone of the question was more similar to one asked in the dungeons of the Spanish Inquisition rather than in Hogwarts, DADA class.  
  
"I think you can direct the spell's direction wherever you want. You can build a shield around another person if you point at him."  
  
"Good. 5 points to Gryffidnor."  
  
Harry blinked in surprise.  
  
"But... Professor, he is not a Gryffindor!" It was Ron's voice yelling indignantly. Harry turned to him and he could see him crossing his arms in anger.  
  
"He disturbed the lesson with his delay. I think Gryffindor's house can be rewarded with his points as a compensation."  
  
Harry's face flashed in shame. He lowered his gaze at the table and didn't lift it until the lesson's end. Was this woman the same he knew from the Privet Drive? The nice, kind old lady?  
  
Very well. Dumbledore decided to tell Severus' past to the staff and now he had to bear the consequences of it. Harry was sure.  
  
Hatred. Hatred was in the professor's eyes.  
  
He didn't say a word again until the end of the lesson. He was just sitting in silence and taking notes. When Neville tried to open a dialog Harry hushed him with a glare and fled out of the classroom as soon as the lesson ended.  
  
Herbology with the Hufflepuffs was the next lesson. Damn it! And after lunch there would be Charms with Flitwick.  
  
Harry compelled himself to walk directly to the greenhouses resisting the urge to run and find Severus somewhere in the dungeons. He too had lessons to give, he just couldn't bother him with his stupid problems. He had to face them. He was strong enough to do it. He wouldn't flee.  
  
"Hey, Sn... er... wait me, please!"  
  
Harry stopped as he heard the familiar voice behind him. He stopped and turned to Hermione.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Look, I think that Mrs Figg was very unfair with you," she explained. "I don't know, why, but she acted... strange."  
  
Harry shrugged but inside he was quite grateful to Hermione who dared to speak to him despite Ron's disapproving look.  
  
"You can call me Quietus," he looked at her. "And I don't mind. She is not the first who hates me just because I am professor Snape's son."  
  
Hermione blushed slightly.  
  
"Yeah, Ron does the same..."  
  
"And many others. So? Is that all you wanted to tell me?"  
  
"I... I just wanted to say that... Give it a little time and they will accept you, I'm sure."  
  
"They? Who are you thinking about?"  
  
"Everyone. The students, the teachers. They will get used to the idea that professor Snape has a son, and that he is not like him."  
  
Harry laughed bitterly.  
  
"Well, perhaps. Or perhaps not. I'm quite sure that Weasley, for example, won't forget my parentage, however, that's not my fault. And on the other hand I don't mind if they think I'm like my father." The last sentence he said quite loudly so that Ron could hear it perfectly. The red-haired boy winced as he caught it.  
  
Hermione looked at him intensely and nodded.  
  
"You're right. Would you mind working with me in Herbology?" she asked suddenly ignoring Ron who turned around in protest.  
  
Harry shook his head.  
  
"No, go and work with Ron. I'm alright with Neville," and as Hermione opened her mouth he added, "Really."  
  
He cast a last cold and despising look at Ron and stopped to wait for Neville who was walking behind them.  
  
"Thanks, Quietus." Neville stood next to him grinning broadly.  
  
Harry sighed and asked in mock annoyance.  
  
"What for?"  
  
"For saving me."  
  
"Saving?" Harry smiled. Naturally, he knew very well what Neville's thanksgiving was about. "Isn't that a little bit exaggerated?"  
  
"Well, your father and me are... let me put this way: we aren't on good terms," he cast a serious look at Harry. "And he, generally rails me in potions..."  
  
"It was our common mistake. I don't know what we did wrong either." Harry interrupted the now bright red Neville. "However, I think you got the easier punishment..."  
  
"Do you know Filch?" Neville asked amused.  
  
"Of course. We arrived here two weeks ago."  
  
As they entered the greenhouse the first person Harry noticed was Janus' sister, Leah. She was talking with the other Hufflepuff girl, Hannah when they entered the greenhouse.  
  
"Hi, Leah," Harry smiled at her. She blushed and turned around pretending to examine a pile of dried rib-grass lying on the table while Hannah leaned towards her and after a moment the two girls were giggling idiotically.  
  
Harry and Neville looked at each other questioningly. Then Harry shrugged and they stepped to an empty table. After some moments two Hufflepuffs joined them: Ernie and Justin. They were so much lost in a conversation that they didn't notice Harry's presence until professor Sprout greeted the class and especially Quietus Snape. But then, the effect was pretty amusing: Ernie's eyes widened and his mouth curved down, Justin went pale and couldn't help but gasp like fish out of water repeatedly for long minutes.  
  
"Hi, he's Quietus Snape," Neville introduced the grinning Harry - he couldn't remain emotionless seeing the two boys' shock.  
  
"Good lord," Justin moaned and blinked at Neville who was still smiling. "You - and him, together?"  
  
Harry had to fight hard to suppress the emerging laugh. Neville too was snickering under his breath, which made the two boys' shock greater.  
  
"Well, yes," Neville confessed and introduced them to Harry.  
  
"Do you have classes with the Gryffindors? But... how?" asked Ernie finally.  
  
"McGonagall fixed my time-table and she and Seve... er... my father agreed to put me there."  
  
"You call your father by his first name!?" Justin gasped again.  
  
"I'm not used to calling him otherwise. We didn't live together until this summer."  
  
"Were you raised by muggles?" For this time Justin's expression turned unthinkalby confused and even Neville glanced at Harry in keen interest. Harry shot a gaze at the professor who was explaining something about the wolf's-claws or Lycopus and its use in healing werewolves and turned to his companions again.  
  
"Yes, my grandparents. But I'm not allowed to say any more about them."  
  
"Then you did study in a muggle school until last year!"  
  
"Of course," Harry became nervous. He didn't know anything about muggle secondary schools or their materials so he decided to close the topic. "But I think we must pay attention to the professor's explanations..."  
  
"Yeah," both boys seemed disconcerted as they turned their attention to Porfessor Sprout.  
  
To Harry's great relief the professor didn't intend to test or to get to know him so he could work calmly with the plants under Neville's professional guidance.  
  
"How is that you are so... untalented at Potions? You know the plants pretty well and we use them to brew concoctions too..." he asked the shy boy as Professor Sprout dismissed the class.  
  
Neville shrugged.  
  
"It's not a matter of talent..." he mumbled embarrassed and Harry suddenly realized that Neville wouldn't share THIS problem with him of all people.  
  
"Alright," he said. "See you in Charms then," he added and joined Ares at the Slytherin table.  
  
He sighed as he thought of the upcoming lesson. Charms with professor Flitwick.  
  
Since he had met with the short professor at the Head Table on the first day they had arrived at Hogwarts he had been learning Charms (in addition to Arithmancy, of course), he had even taken a look at the present year's curriculum so as not to be ashamed in front of his father's ex Head of House. But he was still frightened as he thought of it. Expectations... expectations which concerned his behaviour, his personality, his knowledge... And prejudices, which he couldn't just alter without enormous effort... Did he have enough strength to do it? Or... did living up to the expectations mean changing? Did he have to change at all?  
  
But he had changed already. He wasn't that boy he had been four years ago, not even the boy he had been three months ago, not any more. He was much more shy and timid as he survived two weeks in pain and fear and he lost the faith he had in his own invulnerability. He recognised that even he could be killed easily, he could be shamed, tortured and violated in every way. He already knew what it meant to be exposed and defenceless and sometimes he wondered if light really could overcome darkness. He wasn't sure any more, and his self-esteem suffered from that as well.  
  
He was still busy with these thoughts when the lesson began, but as the professor entered the room Harry put them aside and concentrated on the task lying before him.  
  
He was not disappointed. The professor's main aim in the lesson was to verify the level of Harry's knowledge in Charms and he made every effort to find the holes in it.  
  
Sometimes Harry cast a short glance at Hermione who gave up lifting her hand after the first ten minutes as she realized that she wouldn't have the chance to answer even one of the dozens of questions the professor asked Harry. When he finally finished his investigation, half the class was almost asleep with boredom. Except for three: the professor, Harry and Hermione.  
  
"Very well, Mr Snape. I'm REALLY sorry that you are not a member of my house... The same talent that your father has and especially your uncle had, the same brilliance..."  
  
Ron snored angrily (perhaps awakening out of a beautiful dream) as the professor continued praising Harry. He, however, was extremelly happy when the lesson finished and left the room immediately. His ears were burning and he didn't dare lift his head to the others... One thing was sure: the professor hadn't made his situation easier. Indeed.  
  
He didn't stop until he reached the door of their quarters and pressed his finger quickly to the white dot. He closed the door behind him and leaned to the wall, his heart pounding.  
  
But after a while he confessed to himself that he didn't feel bad. On the contrary.  
  
Yes, he was embarrassed, but... he didn't feel uncomfortable. Flitwick compared him with Severus and his father and he said he was like them. Was it pride, which he could sense emerging in his chest? Pride for what? His knowledge? His 'brilliance'?  
  
He sank down and sat on the ground in thoughts.  
  
No.  
  
He wasn't proud of his talent. It was not his talent, but his diligence, which helped him to survive the lesson. And he wasn't brilliant either.  
  
No.  
  
It was something else.  
  
He stood up and stepped to the mantelpiece. He took the photo album cautiously and, sitting on the sofa, he opened it.  
  
Quietus with Severus.  
  
Quietus with his mother.  
  
Quietus with James Potter - he smiled at them warmly.  
  
Quietus with Harold Potter.  
  
Quietus standing alone, smiling, the prefects' badge on his chest, his wand in hand playfully...  
  
Harry touched the wand in his belt. The same wand: his own was just too familiar to use in front of the others.  
  
Pictures and remainders, nothing else. But now he was compared to his father and it was as if some part of him were still alive, something in his son, Harry... Perhaps he really wasn't as inept as he thought himself...? Perhaps Severus wouldn' have to be ashamed of him.  
  
No. The last thought was really stupid. Severus would be never ashamed of him, even if everyone detested Harry with good reason. Severus now was prepossessed towards him and noone could change that. Harry smiled and strode to the living room and entered the kitchenette. He put some apples in a bag, picked up his books and parchments and left for the library.  
  
On the previous day he had gone there to study; he was sure nobody would be there. He was wrong: he could see several Ravenclaws reading or taking notes from various books and tomes and even some others from other houses writing their homework that they hadn't done during the holidays. He looked for a separated place and he prepared there for his lessons. Now he walked to the same place - it was between the last row of shelves and the wall and with a sigh he compelled himself to pay attention again. He had to be ready by dinner, because after dinner he would go to brew that damned potion with Severus.  
  
His studying was uneventful and boring. The situation was just too similar to when Ron had abandoned him last year and he had spent his time with Hermione - Ron, Ron again and his 'old' life to which would never return... He had to live his life now as the brilliant Quietus and it required more work and study and less fun.  
  
He hated it. But it was much better than any dungeons and torture. And, perhaps, Ron's case was still NOT lost. Just needed time. And Harry was about to pay the price for it.  
  
"Where were you?" Ares asked him at dinner.  
  
"Library," he answered.  
  
"Why? It was just the second day..."  
  
Harry grinned widely as he remembered the same words as he had asked Hermione countless times, however, his answer was slightly different from hers.  
  
"I like studying there. At home I have to stay alone and I prefer company."  
  
"Why didn't you join us?"  
  
"In the Slytherin common room?" Harry rolled his eyes. "You're mental, Ares. I don't want to fight the stupid Malfoy just to have the opportunity to sit there. It's not worth the trouble. Maybe later, but not now."  
  
"I understand," Ares nodded in thought.  
  
"And I don't like to be the center of attention. I'd rather wait some weeks or months until everybody gets used to my... er... existence," he winked at the brown-haired boy playfully. "You know, in the library I can be alone and not alone at the same time."  
  
He said the same to Severus when he asked where he was during the afternoon.  
  
"And I told Ares the same," he added. "He asked me the same question."  
  
"Ares?" Severus furrowed his eyebrows.  
  
"Ares Nott, one of your beloved fifth year Slytherins," Harry answered impatiently as he started cutting up the sage to add to the potion.  
  
Snape stopped in mid-motion.  
  
"Are you friends with him?"  
  
"Friends? Severus, it has only been two days!" Harry cried indignantly and took a scarab beetle in his hand. "No. We are just... talking about things. He is quite alone and me too, so..." he shrugged.  
  
"I see," Severus sighed. "But I think you should be VERY careful with him. His father..."  
  
"I know, I know!" Harry slapped the beetles down to the table. "But tell me, what can I do? He is the only fifth year Slytherin who talks to me willingly. The others hate me or are afraid of me because of Draco's behaviour. He seems happy to be with me and I even think he doesn't know what his father is!"  
  
"Calm down, Quietus. I didn't want to..."  
  
"Then what do you want? Of course I won't leave the school's ground or be alone for long with him. I'm not so stupid."  
  
"Alright, but take another scarab because you smashed that in your hand," Severus interrupted him.  
  
Harry looked at the beetle in his hand.  
  
"Scarab?? This potion needs scarab to be completed?" 


	5. Bookworm

Betaed by kateydidnt  
  
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Chapter 5 - Book-worm  
  
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"Are you here again?"  
  
Harry lifted his head from the Charms book, which he was reading and Ares went on.  
  
"Aren't you ready to call it quits?"  
  
Harry yawned and looked at the boy standing next to HIS table in the library. He loved this desk, this place, hidden in the rear of the immense book-hall, a little, safe-looking, cosy nook, in the 'Arabic mysticism' section. Harry was convinced that nobody in the building was interested in either Arabic or mysticism, and he hadn't been wrong. He was sheltered here. There was even a window giving the correct amount of light for reading and writing. Harry stretched himself and glanced at his watch. It was almost dinner time. He cast a look out the window and saw that there was darkness outside - it wasn't strange considering the fact that it was the last week of September. He smiled lightly and closed the book with a determinate move.  
  
"Yes, I think it's over for today."  
  
Ares shook his head amusingly.  
  
"Have you been studying here since the end of the last lesson?"  
  
Harry began to put his parchments into his bag.  
  
"Oh, no. First I went home to pick up my books..." he waved his hand dismissively. Ares smirked.  
  
"Of course. It would have been very hard to study without them," he winked at Harry, then he sat down in front of him. "Were you always studying so much?"  
  
Harry cast a thoughtful look at him.  
  
"No. But now as I'm here and everybody is waiting for me to be worthy of my family's damned reputation I feel I have no other choice. And on the other hand... I don't know what to do in my free time," he confessed finally.  
  
"Uh... you say that you weren't able to find something interesting except for studying?"  
  
"Is it so unbelievable?"  
  
"Quite."  
  
Harry laughed a little bitterly. Some weeks ago he would have thought the same.  
  
"Let's go then. I'm pretty bored here."  
  
"Are you?" Ares seemed surprised.  
  
"Of course. I'm not as keen on studying as I seem," Harry shook his head mimicking annoyance. "But, on the other hand, what would my father say if I were lurking round the school playing stupid pranks instead of being the best student of my year?"  
  
"Well, that is the main reason I'm glad my father doesn't work here, in the school..."  
  
Harry rolled his eyes in return. However, he wasn't really upset that Severus worked and lived in the same building as him. On the contrary.  
  
And most of all after THOSE events...  
  
Harry shuddered as he thought of that afternoon during the second week of school. He had been walking to the library to do the homework when Ron had stopped him in an empty hallway.  
  
Harry hadn't been surprised. Severus had acted terribly in potions class and he had taken more than fifty points from the Gryffindor. Indeed, all of them from Ron. He had had a good reason to do it: Ron had sabotaged his own potion, turned Malfoy's cauldron over and, in the end he cast a Filibuster firework into Harry's, which had exploded sending Neville into the Infirmary for a few days. Harry had gotten away unharmed, because he had leaned over to pick up some fallen ingredients, but Neville... He looked awful.  
  
Severus had been mad. His black eyes had been glittering with wrath as he had carefully removed the points. And then he had shocked both houses by escorting the petrified Neville to the Infirmary personally.  
  
So, Ron had stopped him. Harry had suspected in that very moment, that nothing good would happen. He had been right. Ron had begun their conversation by calling Harry names (his favourite was 'Sly' or 'filthy Sly', sometimes 'greasy Sly', however, Harry's hair wasn't greasy unlike Severus' - well, he had never spent as much time with potions as him). In reality Harry couldn't understand his way of thinking and acting. He had never committed anything against him, on the contrary, he had been trying to earn his friendship - and after the first days his neutrality, Harry had never replied his insults and offences... Even then he first had tried to ignore him and his sharp and hurting remarks and to remain friendly nevertheless. His efforts had infuriated Ron more than anything. Finally he had become more brutal than ever. He had spat at Harry's face that he wasn't anything but a little filthy Slytherin, a future servant of the Dark Lord, a murderer, like his father - and at this point Harry couldn't help but punch him in face breaking his nose. He had regretted it in an instant - but it had been done.  
  
Harry could handle everything except for hurting Severus. No. He didn't deserved to be hurt, called a murderer... So he had broken Ron's nose. The red-haired boy had been sitting on the floor holding his bleeding nose in his hand, a strange, stunned expression on his face - Harry had been just about to help him stand and go to the infirmary, but of course, at that moment McGonagall had appeared in the empty corridor.  
  
Harry winced at the memory. McGonagall standing between them, turning her gaze from one to the other... She hadn't asked anything; just helped Ron to his feet sending him to Madam Pomfrey and then the stern professor had brought Harry to Dumbledore's office.  
  
There hadn't been any witnesses to this event, just Ron's bleeding and broken nose had testified that Harry was a monster just like his father. Dumbledore then had sent McGonagall away and had questioned him about the quarrel. Harry, however, had refused to say a word, just had stood there in a stubborn silence, his eyes fixed to the floor, until Severus had come and had brought him home.  
  
Harry hadn't wanted to tell him the story, but he had insisted and pressed him, so finally he had given up and despite the fact that he had been aware of the consequences of his eloquence, he had told Severus almost the whole story. Except for Ron's final remark about him as a murderer.  
  
It had been a mistake.  
  
The day after Severus had been so terrible towards Ron that even the Slytherins had been appalled by his fury. And, of course, the whole school had summarized that Harry and Severus were just the same - like father like son. Harry, the monster had broken his classmate's nose and his biased father had punished the victim instead of his responsible son.  
  
Since then Harry had been more a loner than ever before. He was still angry with Severus, but he could totally understand his reaction. Severus hadn't been worse than him, when he had broken Ron's nose.  
  
Since then his relationship with the Gryffindors had been pretty cold and mostly formal, even with Neville who didn't want to fight with his whole house for a Snape, and most of the teachers seemed to be disappointed in him too. McGonagall, Flitwick, Vector... Figg's hatred towards him had increased as well.  
  
Then Harry had retreated to the library. His studies kept his mind away from the disturbing and painful memories and present events; they allowed him to enter another world, in which he could feel free, free of expectations, prejudices, hatred and nightmares.  
  
After that fateful quarrel he hadn't even tried to sleep alone for days. He had felt ridiculous as he had climbed Severus' bed and had curled next to him, but he couldn't have helped it. He had needed his help, his presence. He had felt so awfully alone...  
  
Everything seemed to turn out wrong and always worse than before.  
  
"Hey, mate!" Ares' voice snapped him out of his dark thoughts. "What's the problem?"  
  
Harry shrugged.  
  
"The same as always."  
  
"Stupid Gryffindors?"  
  
Harry curved his lips to a mocked smile.  
  
"It was Weasley, wasn't he? Does he have to poke his broken nose into everybody's business?"  
  
"Let's go to have dinner," Harry changed the topic. "I'm dying of hunger."  
  
And this was a flat out lie too. He and hunger! Ridiculous. Ares eyed him questioningly.  
  
"Quietus, don't be stupid. You're never hungry. Is there something wrong?"  
  
It was the tone of a worrying friend. Harry looked at him. He wanted to tell him everything, to open up to him, but no. He was Ares NOTT of people and his father was one of his tormenters two months ago, a Death Eater - so he wasn't allowed to befriend him.  
  
He lowered his glance to the floor and gulped.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
Harry was sure it would take a little time and then even Ares would leave him. Harry's constant rejection of his worry and friendship would push him away surely.  
  
"But... thanks for worrying about me," Harry added unable to push him away totally.  
  
They faced the Great Hall.  
  
"And what about your day?" Harry asked.  
  
"Nothing interesting. A little fight with Malfoy, who was babbling something stupid about You-Know-Who's return and the Slytherins' duty," Ares shrugged. "The same as always. Stupid little prat. I'm a Slytherin, not a criminal!"  
  
Harry gaped at him in shock. But his father... No. It couldn't be true. It seemed Ares really wasn't aware of his father's 'preferences'. Harry was about to open his mouth when a sudden movement from a corner caught his eyes. He waved to Ares and both went silent. Somebody was there. Harry's hand was searching for his wand in his belt...  
  
But he didn't need it. It was Ron and Hermione. In a very... strange situation. Harry's eyes widened in surprise as he grabbed Ares' arm and dragged him away as fast as he could.  
  
"Hey, did you know it?" Ares laughed just as they were out of earshot. "Gryffindor's little know-it-all dating the stupid Weasley?"  
  
Harry forced a smile, but inside he felt... disillusioned. And more loneliness that even before. However, he didn't understand, why. He didn't want to date Hermione - and he was jealous nonetheless. Jealous of their relationship. And he was locked out now, so totally...  
  
"Hey, Ares, I... I need to go home now," he said suddenly.  
  
Ares cast a thoughtful look at him.  
  
"Do you like the Granger girl?" he asked in sympathy.  
  
Harry shook his head.  
  
"No, just..." what should he say? "I want to go home," he said again and turning around left Ares behind. As he was far enough not to be seen he began to run frantically. He was very grateful that Severus was in the Great Hall having dinner with the rest of the school, and after he would have a meeting with the Headmaster. He wanted to be alone. To be left alone.  
  
As he reached their quarters and got inside, threw his bag on the sofa and lay on the floor on his stomach on his favourite carpet just in front of the fireplace, leaned his head on his elbow and stared blankly at the flames. He didn't cry. Just lay there in pain. He was alone.  
  
He would have been so happy with their relationship as Harry Potter! But as Quietus Snape he suddenly realized that the chance to befriend them again had passed away, perhaps forever.  
  
From now on he had to live Quietus Snape's life instead of Harry Potter's.  
  
But he didn't want it. He wanted his old life back. But no. It was over once and for all.  
  
But... how could he live another life? He was the same, wasn't he? And why didn't anybody notice it?  
  
Or... no. He wasn't the same. He was a silent, strange boy with phobias, which were pretty well known now to the majority of his classmates. And the prejudices did their wonderful work too. He was expected to be the mean Snape's son, so he was. Not in reality, just in their mind, but it was the same.  
  
So?  
  
Who was he? He covered his face with his palms.  
  
His constant question since he had left Severus' quarters with his changed features one and a half months ago.  
  
But now, he had to find the answer once and for all.  
  
He sank in thought. Undeniably he was Quietus Snape. His father was Quietus Snape, his mother was Lily Evans, and his stepfather was James Potter. That was clear. He had been living Harry Potter's life for almost fifteen years. All his past was Harry Potter's past, his friends were Potter's friends - his feelings and memories were Potter's too. Even their common captivity with Severus was Potter's, not his. He, as Quietus had no past.  
  
But in spite of Potter he had future. Everything was now in his hand. Everything to begin a new life - except for one thing: his feelings. He still felt like Harry. And that played a more important part in his life than he had ever suspected.  
  
He still couldn't consider Quietus Snape his father, however, he respected the man characterised many times by Severus. He was all too distant. But Severus - he smiled as he thought of him. Severus had changed. He wasn't as mean and cruel as he used to be even in the lessons; however, it remained unnoticed by many students. And he was something like a father for him. Harry had never told him that he felt that way. He wasn't sure if Severus would be happy to hear it or not. Harry knew well how much he loved his brother. Perhaps he would become sad to hear that. Yes, Harry didn't think of him as a stepfather. He was about to become a real father in every sense of the word in Harry's mind.  
  
But were his feelings towards Severus enough to begin a new life? Especially if it turned out that he wasn't his son, but his brother's... Then would he have to begin a new life again? Harry shuddered.  
  
LIES!  
  
He hated those lies!  
  
Lies with words and lies with silence, like when he had broken Ron's nose. It was him, who hadn't said a word against Ron, however, his punishment would have been easier... He had spent two whole afternoons to clean up the owlery without magic.  
  
And Ron had been laughing at him when he had found out.  
  
Harry shuddered again.  
  
Then he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Quiet?"  
  
It was Severus.  
  
"You have to be at the meeting," Harry said matter-of-factly.  
  
"I excused myself when I saw that you weren't in the Hall."  
  
Harry nodded, his face still covered by his hands.  
  
"So you won't leave me alone again."  
  
"Precisely."  
  
"Wonderful."  
  
Harry refused to look at him. He stared at the flames through the holes between his fingers. Severus lay next to him.  
  
"So?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Have you eaten anything at all?"  
  
"For lunch. And some apples in the library."  
  
"You are still too thin."  
  
"I don't care."  
  
"Was it Weasley?"  
  
"No. And yes."  
  
"Harassing?"  
  
"Kissing."  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
Harry turned onto his back and laughed.  
  
"Not me, oh, almighty Potions Master. He was kissing Hermione."  
  
Severus was taken aback.  
  
"And then?" he croaked finally.  
  
"Nothing," Harry shrugged.  
  
"But... is it enough reason not to have dinner?"  
  
"Sometimes I wonder how could you be one of the best students in this school."  
  
"Impertinent prat."  
  
"Stupid adult."  
  
Severus suddenly looked at him seriously.  
  
"Do you like Hermione?"  
  
Harry waved his hand, stood up and sat on the sofa. Severus sat on the chair face-to-face with him.  
  
"Good god! You, guys are all the same!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Ares asked me the same thing. But my answer is: no. I'm not in love with her. I just realized that I can never be their friend," Harry explained.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Use your head, Severus!" Harry cried impatiently.  
  
"I try. But I was teenager so long ago. I don't have exact memories of that period," Severus looked at him. "However, I'm quite sure that their relationship won't reduce your chance to befriend them again."  
  
"Well, I'm quite sure that it will," Harry replied. "And I realized that I have to live my life."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"I have to live Quietus' life instead of Harry's. Is it clear?"  
  
Severus sighed.  
  
"Not at all."  
  
"Well, then I will try to explain it. Look. I'm really Quietus Snape. Yes, I was really Harry too, but that period is over, perhaps forever. So I have to order my things in life that I will live my life as Quietus Snape. Anyway, I will never be THAT Harry Potter again. Indeed. I think I will never be a Potter again. Is it clear?"  
  
The man nodded. Harry smiled slightly.  
  
"Finally."  
  
A quiet knocking interrupted the conversation.  
  
"Come in!" Severus said.  
  
"Good evening!" Dumbledore smiled them, but his eyes were serious. "I hope I'm not disturbing."  
  
"No, Albus. Sit down, please. Tea?" When the old man nodded, Severus ordered tea with a short wave of his wand. "So?"  
  
"The Ministry decided to take the first steps in the war."  
  
Severus leaned forward.  
  
"What do they want...?"  
  
"Tomorrow a dozen of Aurors will come to examine the students. And they will repeat their examination monthly."  
  
Severus almost collapsed back.  
  
"Oh, no." His hands clinched into fists. "Bloody hell..."  
  
Harry looked at him worried.  
  
"What's the problem, Severus?"  
  
But it wasn't Severus who answered his question.  
  
"They will focus on Severus' house, and on you," Dumbledore's voice was silent and tired.  
  
Harry got frightened.  
  
"What?" he cried. "How will they examine me?"  
  
"They will check your forearm and they will question you," the Headmaster said. "Please, roll up your sleeve, Harry."  
  
"Quietus, sir," Harry corrected him quietly and rolled his sleeve up.  
  
His forearm was free of any marks, but wasn't free of Avery's cuts. The smooth skin was criss-crossed by them. They began to fade with the time, but the deeper ones were still rose.  
  
"If they see it, they will ask you what these are."  
  
"I will say I had an accident," Harry shrugged. "A car crash, for example."  
  
"Right. And if they want to know anything about your life before this summer, you should send them to Severus. You can tell them only the very basic parts of the story."  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
"And, Quiet, you have to get prepared that they won't handle you kindly," Severus said sadly. "They will ask you a lot of questions about me and your loyalties and they will consider you a dark wizard even if you state the opposite..."  
  
"Because I'm your son, isn't it?"  
  
It was Dumbledore, who answered the question.  
  
"Yes and no, Quietus. All the Slytherins will be examined thoroughly and every child, who have er... let me say this way: suspicious family members."  
  
"Do you mean the children of the Death Eaters?"  
  
"Not only the children. Every family member is suspected..."  
  
"Idiocy..." muttered Harry under his breath. "But they know of Severus that he isn't a Death Eater any more..."  
  
None of the adults answered. When Harry looked at Severus, he cleared his throat in nervousness.  
  
"I don't think so, Harry. If they believed me, they would have already declared Black innocent."  
  
Harry's eyes widened in astonishment.  
  
"But you said they questioned you with Veritaserum..." he mumbled confused.  
  
Severus just waved his hand in resignation.  
  
"Veritaserum... they don't believe their own serums either."  
  
"But then... what if they won't believe me? My story? Will they bring me to the Ministry to..."  
  
"No, Quietus. I won't let you be taken away from here," Dumbledore said calmingly. "But tomorrow you have to be very, very careful. They will throw a Revelo spell on you to examine your arm, and if they catch that famous scar of yours..."  
  
Harry froze.  
  
"Oh, no..." he mumbled and reached his hand to his forehead. His fingers trembled.  
  
"And they will see the cuts on your neck too," Severus added quietly. "You have to wear your turtleneck sweater, if you didn't want them to be seen."  
  
"Headmaster, did you say that they will come in every month?" Harry turned to the old man.  
  
"Probably. I don't remember correctly. It was almost fifteen years ago the last time they came."  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Harry could feel as strong hands grabbed his shoulder and motioned him towards the entrance of the school.  
  
"So, you were here all the time, Mr Potter," an Auror said, who was very similar to Moody, but was much younger, and crueller.  
  
Harry uttered a cry of pain as the hands tightened their grip on him.  
  
"Don't try to escape, you can't, believe me," the man was smiling at him with an ugly, evil smirk, and Harry felt panic raising in him.  
  
"But... But I didn't do anything," he stuttered in fear. "I just..."  
  
"You killed Cedric Diggory and tricked the Ministry with your death to continue your work for You-Know-Who with your filthy father's help... You aren't even Potter's son! What a shame! If the wizarding world will know the truth about their famous hero and his slut of a mother..."  
  
"No... my mum..."  
  
"And we heard about your little quarrel with Mr Weasley who suspected you, and your agressive reaction to his sincere questions."  
  
"He didn't ask me questions! He called me names and hurt Severus..."  
  
"And you tried to beat him, perhaps even kill him..."  
  
"No, I..."  
  
"It was lucky that professor McGonagall came and saved the boy's life from your attack!"  
  
"No! That's not the true, he..."  
  
"Silence, Mr Potter - or should I say Mr Snape?"  
  
Harry felt tears of fear in his eyes as they reached the main entrance of the school. Soon, they would leave, to go to the Ministry's dungeons and he would be tortured again...  
  
"No..."  
  
He didn't want to leave the school. Why didn't Dumbledore come and save him?  
  
"No..."  
  
The big, brown doors opened. The man pushed Harry through them.  
  
"NOOOO!" he cried as he fell to the floor, his eyes shut tightly.  
  
"Harry, Harry, wake up..." he heard Severus' voice suddenly from above.  
  
"Severus, don't let me be taken to the Ministry," he cried. "Call Dumbledore, please!"  
  
"Harry, open your eyes. You are at home. Nobody wants to take you away," Harry could feel Severus' arms sneaking around him and holding him tightly. "Shh... you're safe. You're at home with me."  
  
Harry relaxed slowly.  
  
"What's the time?" he asked after he regained his composure.  
  
"It's 5 a.m. You're a little early today," he smiled at Harry who nestled himself tightly into his chest.  
  
"I don't want to be questioned. Can you be with me there?" Harry mumbled into Severus' nightshirt.  
  
"No, Harry. You have to do it alone. And I will have to care for the other children too..."  
  
"Your Slytherins?" Harry gulped as he asked it.  
  
"Yes. I think they will need my support after it."  
  
"I see," Harry said and tried to sat up. "Now can you let me go to the bathroom?" he asked in mock irritation. "You pamper me. If the others knew that the good old Potions Master is hugging and comforting Harry Potter every now and then, they would die from serious breathing problems."  
  
"Let them die in peace. I won't let you go until you calm down."  
  
"And what about my needs? I can't calm down if you don't let me go to the loo."  
  
"Stupid Potter. Go then."  
  
"I'm not a Potter, Snape. And I'm not even a Harry. I'm Quiet, your son, can't you remember, DAD?" It was so good to say this word even if it was just a game...  
  
"Geh... MY son... well," Severus smirked. "You are more similar to me than Quietus..."  
  
"Oh, no," Harry shook his head in panic. "I'm not like you!" he stuck his tongue at Severus and left running.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Harry stared blankly at his Advanced Transfiguration book in his hand. He had read that page for the fifth time, but he still couldn't recall a word of it.  
  
He sighed and put the book down to the table. It didn't work. He was still too worked up and nervous, but he knew that Severus had to deal with his students too, and he had to wait for the evening or pehaps for the night to share his experiences with him.  
  
In reality the questioning hadn't been as bad as he had thought before, however, he had often reached to his forehead and smoothed his hair to the revealed scar. But no Auror had wanted to cast a look at his forehead, they had examined only his forearms, both of them, and while they had surely noticed the cuts they hadn't mentioned it.  
  
The questions had been simple and quick about his loyalties and when Harry had told them that he had been raised by his muggle grandparents and his muggle mother they had let the topic fall and had sent him out in five minutes.  
  
As soon as Harry had gotten out, he had pulled out his wand and had recast the glamouries on all his scars and cuts. Fortunately no one had seemed to watch him.  
  
Harry couldn't understand their behaviour. Why had they been so easy on him, Severus Snape's, the ex-Death Eater's son? He dreaded the answer. Perhaps they had already had their proof against him to take him away whenever they wanted. This idea seemed a little bit paranoid, but Harry couldn't help. He WAS paranoid, wasn't he?  
  
He forced his look again at the Transfiguration book and concentrated hard.  
  
'In order to transfigure a magical creature into another magical one, we should know the exact way its - their - magic works. The transfiguration of one kind of magic into another is one of the most difficult parts of Transfiguration studies...'  
  
And so on.  
  
It was extremelly boring. And this was only the first page. Out of fifteen they had to read in two days. And there was the Potions essay on the use of hippogriffs' features in healing potions and another essay on the dark wizards in the 19th century for professor Binns for the next week. As the OWLs came closer every teacher became more meticulous and stern than ever. Even Severus and McGonagall were able to render their expectations stricter, however, Harry and his mates had never considered them to be loose.  
  
He inhaled deeply and began to scribble the notes on the parchment when he heard somebody stopping at his desk. He lifted his head angrily. Ares came in the worst moment of all, when he finally managed to understand the blasted chapter!  
  
But it was not Ares. It was Hermione, seemingly embarrassed.  
  
"Hello, Quietus. Would you mind if I sit here? The other tables are occupied..."  
  
Harry couldn't help but snap irritated.  
  
"If my presence doesn't disturb you, you may stay here," he said and turned his glance to his notes again, but he was suddenly too nervous to pay attention. Damn it!  
  
"Why did you say that?" Hermione asked after she sat down.  
  
"What?" Harry barked angrily.  
  
"That stupidity about your presence."  
  
"I've broken your precious boyfriend's nose, don't you remember?" Harry leaned back and crossed his arms.  
  
Hermione's face turned into a bright red colour.  
  
"How do you know about that?" she asked hoarsely.  
  
Harry shrugged.  
  
"I've seen you kissing in a corridor," he stated.  
  
The colour of her face deepened and she turned her attention to the books in her bag. Harry smiled in amusement and grabbed his quill again.  
  
"I don't blame you, Quietus," he heard the girl's voice just as he began to write again. He lifted his head in surprise.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I don't blame you. I've heard what Ron was saying to you every day. Perhaps I would have done the same if I were you..."  
  
"I... see," Harry gulped. "However, you seemed to agree with the other Gryffindors for weeks."  
  
Hermione blushed again.  
  
"Er... I think I was a little mad at you."  
  
"Oh, you didn't like Ron's new face, did you?"  
  
Hermione smiled and shrugged.  
  
"Have you read the Transfiguration?" she suddenly changed topic.  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
"I began to take notes just now."  
  
"You know I didn't understand one part of it..."  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
The next weeks weren't eventful. Harry formed a working daily routine for himself. It contained a lot of sitting in the library, but at least he was sitting there with Hermione - and this was certainly a Ron-free place as well. The red-haired boy didn't seem to take the upcoming exams to his heart. Hermione had once confessed to Harry that she had been tutoring him every evening after dinner - he spent the afternoons at the quidditch field practising first for the tryouts, and after he had been chosen to be keeper of the Gryffindor team he had been practising with the others.  
  
The new seeker of the Gryffindor house was Seamus, to Harry's great astonishment. He had never suspected the boy to be able fly after all... The first match of the season would be the Slytherin-Gryffindor match the day after Halloween, so Ron and the other players had decided to train themselves as hard as they could and Harry had even asked Severus to be a little less hard on them.  
  
"Even Ron?" Severus asked curiously.  
  
"Yeah," Harry muttered.  
  
"But he doesn't deserve it!" Severus was appalled.  
  
"I know, but, please, do it for my sake! After that match you can do anything you want with him."  
  
Severus' eyes twinkled.  
  
"Anything?"  
  
"Well then: don't kill him. But until then leave him alone."  
  
"So you want the Slytherins to lose the match." Severus folded his arms.  
  
"You can be easier on them too." Harry shrugged  
  
"No, I can't. I'm too easy now."  
  
"Oh, so you are aware of it!"  
  
"Of course I am!" Severus snored indignantly. "I am biased and I'm very well aware of it!"  
  
After their little conversation Severus really had been easier on Ron, however, the boy still had harassed Harry whenever he could.  
  
Harry did his best to avoid any meeting with him. He had other problems to resolve anyway.  
  
These were: the potion for Lupin and defence lessons. After Severus had discovered his new obsession with sitting in the library he had appointed a task for him: he had to do research on werewolves. Severus had been struggling to find the appropriate potion for Lupin's illness, but he couldn't - so he had decided to share the work with Harry: Harry had to skim through books about werewolves while Severus searched in his own potions books.  
  
After a week Harry sensed that he had got to knew more about werewolves than even Lupin himself, but he hadn't found any solution.  
  
"What are you doing?" Hermione asked once when he was leafing through an immense tome.  
  
"Research about werewolves. Seve... my father's orders," he added the second half as he saw Hermione's puzzled look.  
  
"Why? Is it about professor Lupin?" she suddenly stopped. "Oh, you certainly don't know him..."  
  
"Calm down, I know him," Harry interrupted. "And yes, father is searching for a potion for his illness."  
  
"Yeah," Hermione mumbled quizzically. "But I thought..." she didn't continue,  
  
"You thought that they hate each other, didn't you?" and when Hermione nodded in consent Harry added grinning. "Well, they dislike each other at the very most. But they made peace in the summer."  
  
"You mean your father and professor Lupin?"  
  
Harry leaned closer to her.  
  
"Calm down, Hermione, not just father and Lupin, but even father and Sirius Black made peace."  
  
Her pupils dilated in obvious shock.  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"You heard me. And he is living at Snape Manor now." Harry leaned back.  
  
"He believes Snape..." Hermione muttered in awe.  
  
"Hey, Hermione," Harry's voice snapped her out of his daze. "I'm a Snape too..."  
  
"Oh, sorry. It's just... too strange."  
  
"Perhaps Ron is wrong," Harry added teasingly, but Hermione took it seriously.  
  
"It's not perhaps. It's sure."  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
"Defend yourself, Snape!" Mrs Figg's voice sounded impatiently. "Now!"  
  
But as the curse shot from her wand Harry was unable to move or to speak. He was just staring at it with a blank mind, in a panic-like state.  
  
As the curse hit him, he tottered back and fell onto the floor.  
  
Laughter snapped out in the room. Harry blushed as he sat up, his head dizzy because of the unlucky fall. He shook his head as he stood up struggling to clear it before the next try.  
  
It was the tenth occasion in a row that day, and Mrs Figg seemed not to notice that Harry's reaction became worse and worse after every try. For now he had totally lost his self-assurance, and he felt like he was in the Main Hall of Nightmare Manor after some rounds of torture. He lifted his wand to his face. It was his father's, but it didn't protect him without the proper words.  
  
Harry could say the words; however, he couldn't use his mind in the proper way. He was petrified by the idea of being cursed and he felt impotent in front of his teacher.  
  
"So, Mr Snape, if you are not able to conjure that shield, I teach you a painful lesson to do it. I warn you: I'm going to cast a short but painful curse on you and I expect you to shield it. If you won't, it will hurt."  
  
Harry nodded dumbly. How beautiful! A little tormenting curse - just what he needed!  
  
He lifted his wand again.  
  
"Clipeus!" he cried desperately as the professor shouted "Tormento!" at the same time.  
  
The curse took Harry off guard. In the moment he heard the name of the hated curse, his will went weak and he lowered his hand waiting for the pain as bravely as he could. When it hit him, he didn't open his mouth, he didn't shriek, he held it standing erect, his fingers turned white as he clenched his wand in pain. It seemed a lifetime when she finally removed the curse from him.  
  
Harry could see the teacher's amazed look as she stared at him wordlessly. He bowed to her, took his bag and left the classroom without saying a word.  
  
That was enough.  
  
Tormenta. Cast on a student for pedagogical purposes.  
  
No. Not any more.  
  
He had never complained to Severus about her, but now he had felt enough.  
  
He had held the tormenting curses for too long to support them even now.  
  
But just as he arrived at their quarters and shut the door behind himself he collapsed onto the floor unconscious. 


	6. Quarrels

Betaed by kateydidnt  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Chapter 6 - Quarrels  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Severus was infuriated as he left the Infirmary. The doors shut with a bang behind him as he crossed them and faced Dumbledore's office.  
  
His almost ran to the Headmaster not noticing the students who tried to avoid him, neither Hermione who looked as she wanted to tell him something important. He waved her aside without saying a word; he saw everything almost in red in his burning rage and he felt an enormous urge to find Figg first, but he knew that it would be all too dangerous if she and him were in the same room alone. So he was heading towards Albus to ask him to take Figg into account.  
  
He couldn't help but clench his hands into fists as he thought of the last hours. It was a mere coincidence that a second year Hufflepuff had made a mistake in her potion which had exploded burning tiny holes into his robes so that he had been compelled to change them before the next lesson, because he hadn't planned to go home for at least six or seven hours. He had been still fuming at the stupid girl as he had entered the room, but in the next moment he had tripped against something and had fallen onto the unconscious Harry.  
  
He didn't know what he had felt precisely. He had been appalled wondering what Harry had been doing at home at that time of the day, then scared, and finally terrified as the boy hadn't seemed to regain his consciousness fast. He had gathered the still too thin body into his arms and had brought him to Poppy as fast as he could without causing more problems.  
  
The way to the Infirmary had seemed an eternity. He had been so terrified to loose Harry that he could barely resist the emerging panic, which would have destroyed the remainders of his composure totally, if he had let it rule over him. But he hadn't. He had resisted and compelled himself to think as clearly as possible. If it had been possible at all.  
  
Harry... In those minutes of terror he had relived the night when he had returned to Hogwarts from Nightmare Manor with the dead boy - and of course Quietus...  
  
Harry... he had felt his heart ripped in two. He had been so careless. He had missed something, it would be his fault if Harry had died. No, Harry couldn't die, Harry had been a professional survivor for his whole life, Harry, Harry...  
  
Poppy had had some difficult moments when she had tried to take the boy from Severus' grip and finally she had to care for the man first giving him a strong calming potion. She had mumbled something about double shock while Severus let the boy go, and she poured the potion into Snape's throat first and just after into the boy's. But Severus hadn't calmed down. He had been sitting next to Harry for three long hours until Harry had opened his eyes, holding his thin, bony hand in his hand horrified by the idea of loosing him.  
  
Those three hours had given him the chance to think about his and Harry's common life, their relationship and he recognised that he wouldn't be able to live without the boy, not any more. The once so hated prat had turned to be his life's light, his last chance to feel, to love, he had become something akin to a... son to him.  
  
A son.  
  
Yes, most definitely his son.  
  
But he would never tell that to Harry. He didn't intend to freak him out with his stupid, ill wish to call him his son, but as he had been sitting at the bedside he had realised that he had considered Harry his son for a while. He had smiled sadly and he had been suddenly jealous of Quietus and even with Potter who both had been his fathers - and he, the stupid, greasy idiot had missed it totally. However... No. Harry had loved him, he had known it for sure, but he had always complained that he had felt alone. Times like that Severus had struggled not to show his disappointment as it had hurt. He hadn't deserved to be anyone's father, most of all Harry's.  
  
So, when Harry finally had opened his eyes and even his mouth and had answered Severus' question (What happened?) Severus had jumped to his feet ready to exterminate Figg and anybody like her once and for all.  
  
And he was now standing in front of the gargoyle struggling to remember the password. He stared blankly at the statue and nothing came to his mind.  
  
He sighed and remembered that Dumbledore had changed it on the day the Aurors had come to do their investigations amongst the students. It was something humorous, Severus was sure, he had even smiled at that... But WHAT?  
  
He had to calm down if he wanted to meet Albus. He took some deep breath and concentrated on the password. It was a name of a sweet again. Not an average name, but something, which had another meaning... another. He suddenly smiled. He leaned to the statue and whispered into its ear intimately: "Fudge."  
  
The gargoyle leapt aside and let he climb the spiral stairs behind itself. Until he arrived at the office's entrance he felt totally calm.  
  
But just as he entered and Albus asked about his reason for coming, his rage overcame him again.  
  
"Albus, call that beloved Figg of yours here NOW!" he yelled at him impatiently tapping with his leg to emphasise the urgency.  
  
The Headmaster, however, didn't seem to hurry, indeed. He cast an investigating gaze to the impatient and fuming Potions Master and asked again.  
  
"Severus, what happened?"  
  
"This is precisely the same question I want to ask her," Severus groaned in fury.  
  
"But..."  
  
"Harry is in the medical wing," Severus added and ran a hand back through his hair. "And he mentioned a very interesting event that happened in his defence class.  
  
Dumbledore didn't answer, but froze for an instant then stood up and stepped to the fireplace. He took a jar from the mantelpiece and threw some of the greenish powder in it into the flames.  
  
"Arabella, I want a word with you, please," he called into the fire.  
  
In one moment Mrs Figg was clambering out of the fireplace. She cast a distasteful glance at Severus then she turned to the old man.  
  
"Yes, Albus?"  
  
The Headmaster ushered her into a chair and even he sat down there, between the two teachers, instead of sitting behind his desk as he usually did. When Severus also lowered himself onto the sofa he turned to his colleague.  
  
"Severus told me that his son is in the Infirmary, and he said he wanted to discuss it with you."  
  
She shrugged.  
  
"I don't think there is anything to discuss. The boy was inept at creating the most simple shield I asked from everybody, not only your son, Snape, and he was unable to block the curses I threw at him," Figg's voice sounded quite annoyed. "And it is NOT my business that he is in the medical wing..."  
  
"NO?" Severus roared in rage. "WHO ON EARTH THREW TORMENTA ON HIM THEN?" Snape jumped to his feet, strode across to her and bellowed to her face. "Or it is some remainder of your Auror's past? To torment people just to confess you everything you want? But my son is NOT a criminal! You had no right to hurt him with it! If you hate me, then throw me that blasted curse, but leave my son alone if you want to survive this year you..."  
  
"SEVERUS!" he could hear Dumbledore snapping at him. "That is enough. Arabella, I want to hear your reasons."  
  
The woman's face was pale as he turned his eyes from Severus to the Headmaster.  
  
"I didn't hurt him," she muttered bewildered. "I didn't cast a full-force curse on him, just what we generally use in teaching shields..." she looked from Dumbledore to Snape pleadingly. "He could have blocked it with the Clipeus, Severus. Surely, you know that..." her voice faded.  
  
"If you are telling the truth, then tell me, what is my son doing in the Infirmary? It took three hours for him to regain his consciousness, I found him after your stupid class unconscious, lying in the living room floor!"  
  
Mrs Figg shook her head exasperated.  
  
"No... I... I'd never cast such a powerful curse on a child, believe me, Severus," she suddenly seemed hurt. Severus crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked at her, unbelieving. She stepped to the Headmaster. "Albus, please, believe me..."  
  
Dumbledore turned his attention to the Potions Master.  
  
"What did Poppy say about Quietus' condition?"  
  
He shrugged.  
  
"I don't know. I couldn't pay attention. I thought..."  
  
The Headmaster silenced him with a wave of his hand and stepped to the fireplace again. Throwing a handful of the floo powder on the fire he leaned into the flames.  
  
"Poppy, please... Can you tell me what is the problems with Quietus?" a short silence. "I see. How?... Well, yes... Thank you," he drew his head back and he turned to Severus. "He got a shock, Severus. Nothing more."  
  
"A shock?" Severus' eyes widened. "Oh, no..."  
  
Figg's eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"But... Albus... it means that the boy has already been hit by the curse before!" her expression changed from fearful to confused. "But... you surely didn't hit him, did you, Severus?"  
  
The Potions Master didn't answer just collapsed into the chair.  
  
"It's not your business," he mumbled to the defence professor after a while.  
  
"But..."  
  
"I told you. It. Is. Not. Your. Business. And if I hear again that you use your bloody teaching-tormenta on Quietus again, I swear I..."  
  
"Severus, stop," Dumbledore's voice was stern as he interrupted the fuming man. "It wasn't Arabella's fault, seemingly..."  
  
"Wasn't?" Severus asked sarcastically. "After a dozen of failed attempt to conjure a shield you can't go on with the same method, just with a stronger curse... She should have waited."  
  
Mrs Figg blushed and lowered her head.  
  
"Is it true, Arabella? You know that it's not a good..."  
  
"I know Albus. I was wrong with it. I should have let him go after the third or fourth failed try. But he has been unable to conjure it for two weeks! Everybody has done it by now, even Neville, the only one who is unable to do it is your son, Severus!"  
  
Suddenly Severus and Dumbledore exchanged understanding looks, then the Headmaster turned to the defence professor.  
  
"I think we can leave this topic now. The only thing I ask you, Arabella, is not to throw him anything similar to torturing curses in the future. Anything at all. Am I clear?"  
  
The woman stood up.  
  
"You mean that the boy was already tortured?" And when neither of the men answered she added, "But... by whom?"  
  
"It's not your business, Figg!" Severus spat angrily.  
  
Dumbledore sighed.  
  
"Well, Severus perhaps expressed himself a little bit rude, but he is basically right. Sorry, Arabella, but it's better if you don't know about it."  
  
But she didn't give up.  
  
"It was Voldemort... wasn't it?"  
  
Severus stepped at her and hissed into her face.  
  
"None of your business, woman! Not at all!"  
  
She moved back from the menacing figure.  
  
"I'm teaching him defence. I have to know some details if I want to avoid situation like this in the future..."  
  
"Believe me, you don't need..." Severus unfolded his arms impatiently, but Dumbledore nodded.  
  
"We won't tell you the story, Arabella. Just one thing: the boy has been hit by several curses in his life. He is practically frozen when he has to face them. He was defenceless, you know, and he experienced what it meant to be exposed. It won't be easy to teach him those defence practices because of his fears and phobias..." The Headmaster now was extremely serious. "But... one more thing, Arabella. You can't tell anybody of what I told you now. Anybody. No part of it."  
  
The woman paled again.  
  
"And I don't want you to think about it, or to guess the remainder of it. You are my colleague, we have fought together many times. You know what I'm asking from you."  
  
"Yes," she nodded firmly. "Knowing without realising."  
  
"Precisely."  
  
Severus cast a surprised glance at the woman. So it was an accepted practice. Knowing without realising. He had done the same when he had been one of Voldemort loyal servants and he had wanted to protect his brother. He hadn't allowed to himself to know his own brother's secrets to be able to dodge a possible questioning with Veritaserum.  
  
Then Figg did something Snape hadn't expected.  
  
"I'm sorry, Snape," she apologised. "I didn't intend to hurt him. I want you to know that."  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
After Severus had left the Infirmary's room and the doors had shut behind him, Harry leaned back on the pillow in tiredness closing his eyes. He would like Severus to remain, but the man had left so abruptly that Harry didn't have enough time to react. He felt dread. Severus would find Figg and would kill the woman without further thinking about it. But Harry didn't want that. It would send Severus to Azkaban and he would remain alone. Azkaban. Alone. Two words that turned his mood darker than before.  
  
"Quietus, are you alright?"  
  
Harry opened his eyes surprised. Hermione stood next to his bed.  
  
"Yeah," he smiled weakly. "But I'm afraid that Severus will hurt Figg."  
  
Hermione smiled in return.  
  
"I don't think he will," she assured Harry and sat down on the chair Severus had been sitting on before. "When I saw him he was heading to the Headmaster's office."  
  
"Thank God," Harry muttered in relief. "He was very mad..."  
  
Hermione nodded.  
  
"Care to tell me what happened?"  
  
Harry summarised the last hours' events in some sentences. Hermione's reaction to it, however, wasn't clear. She looked confused, and after Harry finished his tale, she was just sitting in silence for a while.  
  
"But she threw only a very easy curse on you! It's not really painful, like a mental slap, nothing more!"  
  
"May I ask you HOW you know this?" Harry snapped angrily.  
  
"I've read about it. This way of using the Tormenta curse is commonly accepted," she answered simply. "I think you just overreacted to it. As if you've already..." she suddenly didn't go on. Instead, she cast a thoughtful glance at Harry.  
  
Harry paled and looked away in embarrassment.  
  
"Quietus, was it your father, who...?" she asked tentatively, but the next moment Harry erupted.  
  
"NO!" he yelled at her. "And don't you dare suspect him any more! He'd never hurt me! Never!"  
  
She didn't seem frightened.  
  
"But, Quietus, who hurt you then?"  
  
Oh no. Lies. He had to face lies again. But now he didn't want to lie.  
  
"Nobody hurt me. And my life isn't your business."  
  
Either the lie was too weak or just Hermione was too smart and assertive, but she didn't let the topic fall.  
  
"No, Quietus. I can see, everybody can see that you were abused. Your reactions..."  
  
"I wasn't abused!" Harry cried at her in fear. Was she about to find...  
  
"Don't lie to me. I can see it."  
  
Harry lowered his head and prayed for Severus' return. He really didn't know how to react to this situation. Hermione leaned closer to him and asked in a soft voice.  
  
"Was it your family?"  
  
Harry didn't dare to lift his eyes. Seemingly even Hermione was able to jump to conclusions, he noticed half-grateful. Hermione sighed believing his embarrassment being shame.  
  
"I'm sorry, Quietus. I didn't intend to pry into your secrets..." she gulped guiltily.  
  
Harry, still staring at his hand in his lap whispered weakly. "No harm done."  
  
Hermione finally abandoned the topic and she changed it to the werewolves. After some minutes they had sunk into a serious conversation about the different kinds of potions used in the healing of werewolf-bitten persons.  
  
Harry's mood became lighter. After a while they were chuckling at some very crazy potion ingredients. Hermione pulled out the book she had just examined for the needed solution and they discussed some parts of it thoroughly.  
  
"We'll never find the solution for Lupin," Harry furrowed his brows in worry. "We have already searched through at least two hundred books and we didn't find any..."  
  
Hermione opened her mouth to react Harry's remark, when the door opened again with a harsh boom.  
  
Harry smiled and lifted his eyes to it waiting for Severus to return.  
  
But it was no Severus.  
  
It was Ron.  
  
An infuriated Ron. Harry paled and slipped his hand under the blanket, to his belt and grabbed his wand tightly.  
  
"What do you think you are here with this filthy Slytherin alone in an empty room?" he bellowed at Hermione. "You must be more careful with him! I've already told you that his Death Eater father..."  
  
"Are you speaking about me, Mr Weasley?" Severus was standing in the door frame with a piercing glare in his eyes.  
  
Ron turned on his heel to face him.  
  
"Yes, I am," he said firmly, trying to keep his courage against the towering and menacing teacher in front of him.  
  
Hermione paled and Harry froze in fear. It was clear that in one moment the two of them would pull out their wands and curse each other vehemently, and Harry knew that Ron's case was lost against Severus. The Potions Master was indeed a well-trained wizard in both light and dark techniques.  
  
Hermione seemed to arrive at the same conclusion because she embraced the opportunity offered by the usual man-like glaring at each other grabbed Ron's arm with full force and dragged him out of the room. Severus was just about to follow them, but Harry called his name.  
  
"Severus, please don't..." he slipped out of the bed into his shoes and strode across to him. "He is just a stupid child. You are the adult. You..."  
  
"He wanted to hurt you."  
  
"He didn't. And even if he had wanted to, I can defend myself."  
  
"Are you sure?" Severus' voice was worried.  
  
"No, of course," Harry smirked. "But let's go home now. I don't like spending the night here... And I'm pretty hungry too."  
  
Severus' jaw fell.  
  
"You're joking!"  
  
"I missed both lunch and dinner. And breakfast was very long ago."  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
The next morning Harry was really proud of himself: he could sleep through the night without Severus' help. He had been pretty sure that he would have nightmares, but he hadn't and when he had awoken he had been fresh and totally relaxed.  
  
It was a good news for that day, because it was Saturday and the first Hogsmeade-day of the year.  
  
Severus had awoken him and they had breakfast together in the living room instead of the Great Hall.  
  
"I'm glad you're well," Severus said helping himself to a cookie. "I didn't dare to sleep for hours, I thought you would have nightmares."  
  
Harry smiled.  
  
"And what about Mrs Figg?" he asked.  
  
"She said she had cast a light Tormenta on you. To teach you that blasted shield," Severus shook his head nervously. "Your reaction to it was exaggerated because of your previous experiences with the curse."  
  
"Hermione said the same. She suspects something."  
  
"Do you think that she knows who you are?"  
  
"No," Harry smirked weakly. "She suspects that my family abused me."  
  
"And me too, isn't it?"  
  
Harry didn't answer just concentrated on the jam and his toast. Severus sighed and they didn't speak more until Harry left.  
  
"Be careful," Severus said finally. "I don't want you to leave the territory of Hogsmeade."  
  
Harry nodded and looked around searching for Ares. He couldn't see him anywhere. The trip suddenly seemed boring. Going alone wasn't a great prospect. Harry was standing in the front door of the school uncertainly. Perhaps he shouldn't go. He could spend his time in the library in a more efficient way. Searching for Lupin's cure or so... But he was still a boy. He wanted to have some fun, he was bored beyond belief with studying and reading all the time. He would like to walk around the little town, to visit the shops, and perhaps to buy some things: he had money on him, Severus had given him several galleons to waste on stupidities - those were his words.  
  
"Hey, mate, are you going to Hogsmeade too?" a sudden voice snapped behind him. Harry swirled. It was Fred - and, of course, George.  
  
"Well, yes, but... I can't see Ares anywhere. I wanted to go with him," he explained.  
  
"If you want, you can come with us," George offered grinning widely. "I solemnly swear I won't let it know to Ron, alright?"  
  
Harry eyed them cautiously. Since his fight with Ron he had been suspicious, and even the previous day's incident didn't seem to ease the decision.  
  
"Are you serious?" he asked finally.  
  
Fred shrugged.  
  
"We don't plan to beat you, to kill you or to give you over to Ron either. Personally, I think that he is a total git to you and he deserved what he has been given."  
  
"He is a mental if he can't distinguish between you and your father," George added.  
  
"It must be the fact that Snape survived while Harry died," Fred explained quietly.  
  
"His death broke father too," Harry looked at them with an intensive glance. "Sometimes I think he compels himself to remain standing just because of me."  
  
They exchanged understanding looks as they were walking towards the town. They abandoned the topic afterwards and spent their time in the various shops - mostly in the Apothecary where they had bought an immense amount of potions ingredients. Harry laughed at the twins.  
  
"If father knew..."  
  
"I think he suspects something," George smirked in amusement. "He once even helped us when Fred detonated the storeroom we use there, in the school." They laughed.  
  
"It was two years ago when he was always lurking around the school, every night, because of Sirius Black. The Silencing Charm we cast on the room wasn't enough to cover the boom, and he exposed us," George couldn't go on for the laughter.  
  
"But I asked him to help us to find out what caused the explosion. We searched until morning, but he finally spotted it and he was so proud of himself that he let us go without further punishment," Fred finished the tale and they laughed again. "Since then he has been easier on us in Potions."  
  
"We have top marks," George agreed.  
  
Harry smiled in amusement and decided to ask Severus about the story. It would be interesting to listen to his version. After a while he abandoned the twins in the Apothecary and they agreed to meet in the Three Broomstick. Fred and George were really amusing company but their obsession in potions ingredients bored Harry to death so he decided to take a visit in Zonko's shop to have some sweets.  
  
When he left the Apothecary and faced the sweet shop he had to wrap his cloak tighter around himself because of the sharp cold wind blowing on the streets. His eyes filled with tears and he lowered his head against the aggressive wind and strode towards Zonko's. Sometimes he could hear strange voices that were crying somewhere, but when he struggled to hear them they faded. It must be the wind, he thought and left the topic. He was about to enter the shop when he caught them again, but this time they were clearer and he could understand even some words, which made him run towards their direction.  
  
"Leave me alone!" somebody cried and he could hear mad laughter.  
  
Was it Voldemort? Harry stopped dead in his tracks. He didn't want to meet Voldemort, not any more. But somebody was in danger. He had to help him, and he had no time to bring more help. Sighing deeply he pulled his wand out and pointed towards the muffled voices.  
  
It was a narrow and dark street, and there were only two figures. One of them was lying on the ground, the other was standing over him, his wand pointing to the shaking figure.  
  
"Expelliarmus!" Harry yelled aloud. In the next moment the attacker's wand was in his hand. He put it into his pocket and stepped nearer. What he saw confused him. Neville was lying on the cold and wet ground and an evilly glaring boy stood next to him. It was Terry Boot, a fifth year Ravenclaw. Harry gulped in surprise. He knew Terry well, he had sat next to him during Arithmancy classes for weeks. He couldn't believe his eyes.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he managed to stutter after some moments.  
  
"It's not your business, is it, Neville?" he kicked the prone boy who just groaned in return. Harry didn't go on thinking.  
  
"Stupefy!" he shouted and Terry flew to the wall and hit the ground unconscious. Harry, however, didn't pay attention to him. He knelt next to Neville and sneaked his arm underneath his side and lifted him cautiously. "Neville, are you alright?"  
  
Neville shook his head, denying this.  
  
"I think I broke my left arm," he moaned.  
  
Harry helped him to sit up and perched at his side.  
  
"Care to tell me what happened?" he asked as Neville's breathing slowed down.  
  
Neville covered his face with his palms and began to cry. It frightened Harry to shock. Now what was he supposed to do? He felt uncomfortable, and his embarrassment just grew when Neville didn't seem to stop crying in the next minutes. He inhaled heavily and put his arm around his shoulder.  
  
"Hey, mate, what's the problem?" he felt extremely stupid. He suddenly wanted Severus to be there. The situation was just... too much to handle.  
  
"He insulted my parents and he said that my father was a bastard and he hit me with some curses," his words were barely intelligible because of his hiccups, but Harry caught them.  
  
Again, a new turn of events. And he still didn't know what to do. After all Severus told him...  
  
"My grandmother used to say the same and she says that my father turned her daughter as bad as he was finally, and she says that my father deserved his fate..." he began to cry again.  
  
Harry froze and he suddenly thought that nobody knew Neville amongst Gryffindors. Who knew what kind of life he had at home? Perhaps it was worse than Harry's with the Dursleys... He didn't react to his words, just let the boy cry.  
  
"I hate that everybody judges me after my father. I'm not my father. I don't want to become a bloody Auror, I don't want to torture people. I don't..." his cry strengthened again.  
  
Harry nudged him kindly and when Neville lifted his eyes onto him he smiled.  
  
"I guess I can understand it, Neville."  
  
The boy furrowed his eyebrows for an instant then he smiled back.  
  
"It's just wonderful that I'm complaining to you," he mumbled and blushed slightly. Harry chuckled.  
  
"At least I can understand you," he stood up and reaching his hand helped Neville erect. "Can you walk?"  
  
"Yeah, but what should we do with him?" he waved his hand towards Terry.  
  
"I will take care of him, Mr Longbottom."  
  
The sudden voice startled them, but Harry was the first to regain his composure.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he asked the towering figure standing in front of them.  
  
"I was looking for you. I came to join you for a butterbeer and the twins said that you disappeared an hour ago and they didn't know where you went. And... I found you here."  
  
"Was it an hour?" Harry asked in disbelief. It seemed some minutes for him.  
  
Severus nodded.  
  
"You should return to school now. Mr Longbottom needs medical help, I think, urgently. Can you help him?"  
  
"Of course," Harry said. "And... what will happen to Boot?"  
  
Severus' mouth curved into an ugly smile.  
  
"We will remove some points from his house..." He tapped his chin in thought. "And perhaps some months of detention with Mr Filch will be arranged too."  
  
"Won't he be expelled?" Neville's voice was quiet. Severus looked at him for a moment before answering.  
  
"I don't think it would be wise to expel him, I'm sorry. We have to give him one more chance. There wasn't any problem with his behaviour previously. We can't expel him for one fight," he said finally and Neville nodded in understanding. "Oh, and one more thing. Twenty points to Gryffindor for your bravery, Mr Longbottom."  
  
Neville's eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"But... but I wasn't brave! It was Quietus who..."  
  
Severus winked at him significantly.  
  
"But you were brave enough to speak with him, weren't you?" and when he saw the two boys standing there dumbfounded he added. "And now - to the Infirmary. Hurry!"  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Later that afternoon when Harry was already sitting at his usual desk in the library Hermione came and questioned him thoroughly about Neville's case.  
  
Harry tried to answer her questions leaving the very personal details out, but after a while he realised that the story he told Hermione was too far from the truth.  
  
"I can't tell you what was all about, Hermione," he concluded finally. "If you want to know, you have to ask Neville. I don't think I'm allowed to let his secrets slip to you."  
  
Hermione cast a fast glance at him, then she gave up.  
  
"Alright, you're right, Quietus. What about this werewolf stuff?" she turned her attention to the book lying on the table.  
  
"Wait a minute, Hermione. First I want to ask a question." Harry waited until the girl's eyes met his. "What about Ron and you? You won't have any problems with him because of me, will you?"  
  
Hermione shrugged.  
  
"I don't care..."  
  
"But you do," Harry resisted. "I won't date you if he leaves!"  
  
Hermione chuckled in amusement.  
  
"You don't need to worry. He won't leave."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Of course I am. So? Can we go on with our investigation?"  
  
"We can," Harry agreed.  
  
It was a book with a lot of colour pictures. When Harry finished leafing through it his head was full of transforming, killing and dying werewolves and he wasn't able to escape them even at night. His dream was full of them, werewolves, werewolves everywhere around him, barking and howling without a break. They were surrounding a little group of persons, probably muggles, adults and children together, frightened to death.  
  
And... Voldemort was standing next to them and staring as they slaughtered everybody, even the little children and everything was covered by blood, blood, blood and Harry felt a sharp pain on his forehead but he couldn't run away... And Death Eaters arrived at the spot, they joined the werewolves and two of them stepped to the inhuman creature bowing their head.  
  
"Master," one of them said. Harry suddenly recognised him. It was the elder Crabbe. "We couldn't find the girl."  
  
Goyle didn't say anything just nodded.  
  
"Idiots!" Voldemort hissed angrily. "She can become just as dangerous as the young Potter was!"  
  
"But master... He wasn't too dangerous. You killed him so easily..." Goyle said suddenly and Voldemort became even angrier.  
  
"Idiot! Never, NEVER underestimate you enemies!" He cried his eyes burning. "Crucio!"  
  
The two men fell onto the ground jerking and shrieking in pain. The other Death Eaters stopped their fun and stared at the two of them in disbelief.  
  
"I won't tolerate ANY faults!" Voldemort now was speaking to the others. "Do you understand?" When they nodded in fear he turned to a silver-haired Death Eater. "This goes for you and your son too, Lucius." The Death Eater lowered his head. "Your son behaves too arrogantly in the school. Is he aware of your loyalties, Lucius?" Malfoy nodded in silence. "Then DON'T let him behave in this idiotic way! He will uncover you with his irresponsibility! I heard that he is harassing his second cousin too," he smirked at the frozen Malfoy.  
  
"Second cousin?" he asked in return, hoarsely with fear.  
  
"That Snape boy. Your wife's mother was a Noblestone, wasn't she?" Malfoy wasn't able to open his mouth just nodded. "I won't punish you again, Lucius, but know that I didn't forget your little slip. You should inform me about Snape's son."  
  
"But I told you many times, master that I didn't know about him before this summer!" Malfoy cried in protest.  
  
"Severus is your son's godfather and your best friend. Do you want to tell me that he didn't share with you this important thing in his life? What kind of friend were you then?"  
  
"Master... Snape was spying on you since his brother's death. He surely wasn't entirely sincere with me after that!"  
  
Voldemort cast a pondering glance at the shaking man.  
  
"Perhaps you are sincere. Perhaps not. I'll see. Crucio!" he hissed again.  
  
"QUIET!" Severus' voice snapped him out of his nightmare.  
  
Nightmare? Harry clutched his hand to his forehead.  
  
"It... hurts," he hissed in pain.  
  
Severus panicked.  
  
"What happened? You were stirring..."  
  
"Voldemort..." Harry moaned. "We should tell the Headmaster." He sat up.  
  
"It's 2 am. Quiet. We can't wake him up in the middle of the night! Can't it wait until morning?"  
  
Harry moved aside so that Severus could sit on the bed next to him.  
  
"I think it can," he said finally. "Voldemort killed muggles. And cast Cruciatus on Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy."  
  
Severus wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulder.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
Harry shrugged.  
  
"I hate it. It's already been two weeks that I didn't have any nightmare, and now I have this bloody vision," he shuddered in distaste. "Seemingly, I can never sleep in peace."  
  
"Fortunately, it's Sunday. You can sleep till lunch if you want."  
  
"How nice of Tom that he organised his first attack on Saturday," Harry croaked bitterly, then he leaned to Severus. "I hope I won't have to witness all of these shows in the future..."  
  
"Perhaps you must..." Severus' voice was thin. "This was only the first attack and you saw it..."  
  
Harry buried his head into his pillow.  
  
"You are soooooo calming, Severus," he mumbled through it.  
  
"Well, I just wanted to be sincere..."  
  
"I don't need your sincerity. I need some comforting lies right now!" he dug his finger into Severus' side.  
  
Severus shrieked and jumped out of the bed.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
Harry fell on his back in laughter.  
  
"You're ticklish!"  
  
"I'm not ticklish! You were boring a hole into my side!" he said in a complaining voice.  
  
"ME? You're exaggerating!"  
  
"Wait till I catch you...!"  
  
"Severus! NO!"  
  
"So?"  
  
"Stop... it... ow!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"...tickle ow.... me! PLEASE!"  
  
"Do you give up?"  
  
"YES just leave me alone!"  
  
"Won't you tickle me?"  
  
"I won't!"  
  
"Alright then. Go to sleep."  
  
"I don't dare. You will attack me."  
  
"I won't."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"..."  
  
Harry folded his arms and cast a suspicious glance at the Potions Master in his usual grey night-clothes, tousled hair, his face coloured by the laughter.  
  
"You don't look like you any more, Severus," he assessed finally what he saw.  
  
"It's your fault!" Severus complained. "You compel me to behave like an idiot."  
  
"But you do like it!"  
  
"No, I don't!"  
  
"Liar," Harry dragged the blanket up to his chin and shut his eyes closing the fake quarrel.  
  
"Prat."  
  
"G'night," he sighed and smiled.  
  
Severus saw the smile on Harry's face. He sat next to the boy watching him until he fell asleep. The smile remained on the boyish face, Harry certainly wanted to reassure him... about what? Severus didn't know but he didn't care either.  
  
His world had changed. Was... lighter. Happier. And it was Harry's effect on him. He had never believed it before. He had thought that after the summer events they wouldn't be able to live a normal life. But somehow... they were. And not only a normal life. They lived something more. Severus watched the boy examining his features. Perhaps they weren't father and son, but they were friends. Or even more. They were allies too. Allies against Voldemort's horror. And, perhaps, allies against the whole world that held prejudices against them.  
  
And everything was to Harry's credit.  
  
He told the same to Albus, later that day after Harry left the Headmaster's office.  
  
"I'm happy to hear it, Severus," he smiled a little bit sadly. "You know, your brother always wanted you to find your happiness in this life and he worried that you never would. And I have worried too... during the past fifteen years you seemed to sink into loneliness and depression more and more."  
  
Severus nodded.  
  
"You know, he is very fond of you too," Dumbledore added helping him to some lemon drops.  
  
"He never told me..." Severus whispered painfully.  
  
"But he does. Believe me. But he is just a kid. He doesn't know how to express his feelings in words. But you will see, he surely loves you."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Perfectly, my dear Severus. Some lemon drops?"  
  
"Yes, thanks," he smiled and in the first time in his life he reached his hand and let Dumbledore give him of those irritating sweets.  
  
Life was worth living. 


	7. What is friendship?

Betaed by Lliey Gemini *************************************************************************** Chapter 7 - What is friendship? 

*******************************************************************************

Severus had been right, Harry noticed sadly. It was the third night in the last two weeks that he spent awake because of Voldemort's continuous attacks. And he was still lucky: there had been much more attacks and slaughters, but he had to face only those, which made Voldemort angrier than usual. He again began to hate the nights for the thought of the possible nightmares or visions, which weren't any better than his worst nightmares. He didn't feel any physical pain, but the emotional and psychical burden of those nights weighed against him heavily - like now.

He cast a short glance to the other bed and saw Severus sleeping peacefully. He smiled at him, and slipping out of the bed cautiously, he left the bedroom. No, he didn't want to wake Severus up, if at least once the man was lucky enough to remain asleep. Generally, it was him who had shaken him out of his nightmares and visions and till now he had spent long hours awake with Harry until the boy had fallen asleep again. So, he deserved to be left asleep in peace.

Harry stretched himself on the sofa opening the book he had read in the evening. He had discovered it in the library when he had been searching for his history essay on the dark wizards - it was a historical novel again about the 'Double war' in Europe in the middle of the 20th century. It said a lot about the muggle battles against the German dictator and pointed at their convergence with the wizarding battles. Harold Potter and Dumbledore had played important parts in the novel, and Harry realised that he still considered the Potters as his family.

Stupid situation.

Seemingly, he was still unable to identify himself, he thought bitterly.

He turned on his stomach and wrapped the blanket tighter around his shoulders, the dungeons were always too chilly for his taste. Indeed, he hated dungeons, but he loved Severus enough to suffer them. And, in reality, Severus's quarters weren't bad to live in. Harry liked the rooms, the kitchenette, the bathroom - decorated with warm colours: brown, red, orange, mahogany, black, somewhere some dark green. It was beautiful and seemed warm. But it wasn't, just seemed.

Harry's gaze was caught by the fireplace, and then by the mantelpiece and he smiled widely. There were many pictures on it: one of Severus and his brother (it was still easier to think about him as like), and at least five of Harry or Harry and Severus together. In the last three months there had been more photos taken of him than in the Dursleys in 15 years, and Severus was determined to put them onto the mantelpiece or onto his desk (and Harry had seen two of them even in his office). Harry had to notice that Severus was really like aunt Petunia with his obsession to flood their home with his step-son's pictures.

It was so strange... Severus had never seemed sentimental - and he was, Harry grinned. And now, he was extremely biased towards Harry. Since Neville had accepted his nephew he had even changed his behaviour towards him too. He had stopped bailing and harassing him - and after some weeks he even had offered to tutor him together with Harry, to Neville's immense horror. Harry laughed as he thought of Neville's face after Severus's offering.

"Quietus, if you really are my friend, please, help me somehow to get of this... I don't want to be tutored..."

But Harry had been merciless and after a week of common work Neville had calmed down, even his dread towards Severus had lessened somewhat. 

Harry had finally obtained a constant daily routine, which included periods with Neville, Hermione and Severus, and he was completely satisfied with it - or almost completely. He still missed Ron, and he was very sad about Ares. Severus, after a lot of serious quarrels, finally had forbidden him to befriend the boy. He hadn't been right, Harry was absolutely sure, but he respected and loved the man enough to consider their peace more important than the Slytherin boy.

Well, he didn't ignore Ares totally, they had sat together during the Arithmancy classes and many times he had joined them (Harry and Hermione) in the library. But Ares had sensed Harry's distance, and he too had been a little distant in return. Harry hated this: not Ares but the war and the mutual distrust between people, which was the war's straight consequence.

War... Harry yawned and turned his attention back to the book. It was really well-written, but after a while his eyes began to burn with tiredness and his head turned heavy. He yawned again and leaned his head onto the open book.

When he woke up in the morning, he was lying in his own bed, his blanket tucked tightly around his body. Harry snorted indignantly. Severus had no right to carry him here and there as if he was a little baby! If he was sleeping on the sofa, he could remain there till morning. He was fuming as he entered the living room, but he wasn't really angry. The fact that Severus had taken him back to his bed was a clear sign of his care, however, many times Harry wanted to be considered an adult (he was more than 15, for God's sake!), he enjoyed the care and the pampering.

"You deserve it, Quiet. You've suffered enough in your life. I think it won't spoil you, don't worry."

And Harry didn't worry. 

But Severus wasn't in the living room now. There was only a sheet of parchment lying on the table:

_After breakfast go to the Headmaster's office. He is waiting for you. S._

So he found out that he'd had a vision again, Harry smirked. Now he was the light side's spy with his idiot visions, and, however, he was suffering for the lack of sleep, it was less dangerous than to send somebody into Voldemort's circle again, especially that 'somebody' being Severus. Harry picked up his bag from his desk - it was in the opposite corner as Severus's, next to the single window, and strode across the Great Hall to have breakfast.

There he was appalled. The usual buzzing noise was missing, and everybody sat in considerable silence. Harry took a seat next to Ares.

"Hi, mate, what' going on?" he whispered not intending to call any attention.

"You-Know-Who had an attack yesterday. He slaughtered every habitants of Meersack, a little village near Liverpool," he explained. "A lot of wizards lived there too, and many of the students had relatives there."

Harry nodded half-frozen. There had been wizards too! It explained a lot of things. The battle's desperate hardness, the amount of the thrown curses he had seen in his vision - there hadn't been only Voldemort's minions who had cast those nasty spells, but the inhabitants of the village too, in their own self-defence.

And he, naturally, had discerned just some scenes of the battle - only those parts which had been seen by the Dark Lord himself. He, instead, had been compelled to observe as a group of little girls had been taken to the evil bastard... He shook his head as he tried to shove the horrific pictures of his night vision away. Voldemort was still searching for that girl, as forcefully as he had been searching for Harry's death previously.

He was thinking about it through the conversation with the Headmaster.

"Don't you know, sir, who this girl could be he is always talking about?" he asked at the end, after Dumbledore finished his questioning.

"Severus thinks it's the little Anne and I agree with him, because of the evident coincidences of facts. But we have no idea why does he wants her so much."

Harry, who was already about to leave, sat back in thought.

"And why, sir, did he want me to be killed before?" he finally asked the question he had wanted to know for years.

Dumbledore's face seemed suddenly tired.

"This, Harry is an... interesting story. It was a mistake of him, but a very... strange mistake. I will tell you an example. You know, there are cases when you try to solve a mathematical problem and you make a fault in your counting - but you receive the right result nevertheless, just by a chance. Your case was this."

"How do you mean, sir?" Harry was sure he didn't understand a bit of the old man's words.

"There was a commonly known prophecy about the child of light and the muggleborn who would destroy the evil one. The 'light' was evidently your father, Quietus, who, as you were told many times, was the strongest light wizard of the century. Your mother was the foretold muggleborn. But Voldemort didn't know anything about your father - when he captured him, Quietus didn't show his power to him, on the contrary, he showed weakness and sacrificed himself for his brother, and, I think, for his parents too. So Voldemort didn't know anything about him, just like Severus. But he was too paranoid to let a child grow up to defeat him so he slaughtered systematically every child born to a powerful light wizard and a muggleborn witch. James - as the son of Harold Potter - was considered as one. There weren't many, just three couple with three children, which fitted the prophecy more or less: there were two girls and you. Severus warned us about Voldemort's plan, but we were too slow and before we could think about a plan to protect them one of the girls was already killed. Then he, risking to be uncovered, warned the Potters personally and helped to hide the other girl outside the country."

Harry nodded in thought. He finally could understand why the Headmaster had been keeping this in secret for years. His father... Quietus was the reason. THE most powerful light wizard of the century.

Who had died to find a way for his brother to live.

Harry felt a wave of gratitude to him for Severus's life and smiled warmly. Somebody on the earth had considered the old git worthy enough to be saved - like Harry did. Perhaps he really had something in common with his father. An obsession with Severus at least. 

But then another idea came to his mind.

"And... perhaps it means that even one of Anne's parents was a light wizard and..."

"No, Quietus. Anne's parents were muggles. I questioned the little girl twice thoroughly and her answers left no doubt that her family was an absolutely typical muggle family as many others in the Brit Isle."

Harry was still pondering the Headmaster's words when he arrived at the Care of Magical Creatures lesson. He was late but he knew that Dumbledore excused him and Hagrid loved him enough not to harass him for his delay. In silence, he joined the classes and stepped next to Neville.

"What's going on?"

"New creatures, again. Hagrid calls them Spurred Sprite-Spitters ."

"What?" Harry couldn't help but cry. "But... there isn't such kind of animal!"

Neville shrugged and smiled.

"They must be like the Blast-Ended Skrewts. I hope they will be less dangerous and more useful."

Some of the class laughed.

"It doesn't seem so," Parvati said.

Harry had to agree with her. The creatures looked like the results of the cross-breeding of hedgehog, worm and  scorpion, and they spat angrily at anyone who dared to approach them.

"Hagrid told us that they grow extremely fast, and the care we have to give them is the same as what we will have to do to clean their garden."

"New detention possibilities too," somebody snored.

"Instead of Filch you can come and clean up their abode."

"Why instead? You can come and clean up here with Filch too."

The laughter this time was stronger than before. The Spitters seemed dirty and they stank. Hagrid showed them how to feed the disgusting creatures, but after a while everybody noticed that they ate without any further effort of the students to feed them. So they left them alone and were chatting about the war's events instead. This time nobody laughed. Not even the usual trio of Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle was smirking and grinning to each other. it should have been Voldemort's warning, Harry thought. Since he had punished the older Malfoy for his son's behaviour Draco had changed. Harry couldn't decide whether it was the consequence of the punishment or there had been other reasons behind. Draco had been never a good actor, and in the last weeks he had been behaving almost... humble. And Harry hadn't seen Lucius Malfoy in his visions since then either. What had it happened that night after Severus had woken him?

Sometimes Harry felt almost tempted to ask Malfoy, but he had fought with his temptation. No. It was the blonde's problem. He didn't have to be concerned about it.

But... as much as he hated the idea - and even Malfoy - they were related. His second cousin... Did it matter at all?

Harry sighed. He didn't want to ask Severus about it - he was really hurt by his godson's behaviour in the last months. He cared for the boy, but Malfoy now detested him because of Harry. If Harry hadn't existed... No. He couldn't go on thinking about this. The last time he had said something similar to that the man had become so angry that he was yelling nervously at Harry for a half an hour about his stupidity and lack of basic understanding. Well... Severus didn't change. He still had a temper, Harry grinned madly.

******************************************************************************* "Hermione, have you seen my Arithmancy calculations?" Harry looked over the mess on their desk. "I can't find it anywhere."

"It's over here," she pointed at the parchment. "I've just checked your equals, but I think it was meaningless. I might have known that it would be perfect."

"You're exaggerating, Hermione," Harry blushed slightly.

"No, Quiet," Hermione shook her head. She decided to use this pen-name after she once had heard Severus calling him the like, and Harry didn't care. He was used to it yet. "I'm serious. Notwithstanding that you've never studied Arithmancy before, you became professor Vector's favourite for a reason. You're excellent."

"No," Harry moaned unhappily. He didn't need Hermione's worship, but she snapped steadily against him.

"Oh, Quiet, don't be so stupid! Remember your last essays and quizzes! All were Outstanding! He wouldn't give you such marks if you didn't deserve it!"

"I'm not so clever..."

"Stop! You aren't clever, really, if you say things like this. But the teachers' opinion is very high of you!" She lowered her books and cast a very serious glance at him.

"They are mistaken," Harry shrugged.

"They are not!"

"Look, Hermione, I'll tell you a secret. I've never been a good student, never in my life. But now, because of my father and his brother the teachers are biased towards me and they estimate me higher than I deserve," he looked at her sadly. "Believe me, I'm not so good..."

"You're mental, Mr Snape!" Hermione cried so loud that the library turned silent for a moment, however, nobody could see them in their hidden corner, Harry was sure they were staring towards them across the shelves. She blushed and continued calmer. "Quiet, you're wrong. You ARE good and really talented. You think professor Vector would give you O's for your quizzes if you didn't deserve them? That professor McGonagall would allow you to practice and learn extra-curricular transfiguration spells just for your father's sake? And what about professor Binns? I'm sure he doesn't even know who your father is, but you are the only one since I began my studies here whom he knows by name! He doesn't even know MY name!"

Harry grinned. His new-found obsession for history hadn't gone unnoticed by the dead-boring professor of history either. Indeed, since the famous events of the chamber of secrets Harry had been the only one who had interrupted the course of the lesson with some corrections and remarks about the goblin riots, and later about the nineteenth century's dark wizards.

When he first had done this, it started a very interesting conversation between them.

Professor Binns had been reciting the names of the goblin chiefs when Harry had cleared his throat and had corrected him.

"It wasn't Ulric, the Ugly, professor. It was Ulric the Untidy, his nephew," he had said silently, but firmly.

It had been a tense moment. Somebody had snored in his dream, Hermione had lifted her head from her potions homework (she always utilised history lessons in ways like this) in full curiosity, and Dean had grumbled under his breath.

"Is it not the same, Snape?"

Professor Binns, however, had been so appalled that he had just gaped for some long minutes before replying.

"Your name is...?" he had looked at Harry unsure.

"Quietus Snape, sir," he had answered politely.

Professor Binns had blinked.

"Interesting. I was under the impression that you have already graduated three years ago..."

Harry had blushed violently by the suppressed laughter.

"It was twenty years, sir, and it wasn't me..." he had begun, but the professor had waved with his hand silencing the boy.

"I see, like father, like son, Mr Snape," he had said, seemingly lost in thoughts. "But you are right nevertheless. It was Ulric, the Untidy, son of Godric, the Goddamned."

Somebody had suppressed a laughter, and Harry had opened his mouth.

"He was my uncle. Not my father."

The professor's eyes had gone wide.

"Who? Godric, the Goddamned?"

The entire class had burst into laughter, even Harry, just the professor blinked in confusion.

But since that class he had known Harry's name, and they had even discussed some interesting (and many dull) details about the historical events in lessons afterwards.

Harry snapped out of his thoughts and nodded at Hermione.

"I see your point. But I think I know the reason: I spend all my free time with my studies with you or with father... I don't do anything else. However..."

"Hello, Hermione, hi, Quietus," Neville stood at their desk.

"Hi," Harry answered unsure. "We have no potions tutoring today," he added.

"I know," Neville smiled. "But today is my birthday and I planned a little party in the Gryffindor common room and I now want to invite you and Hermione to it..."

Harry shifted uncomfortably and cast a look at Hermione, then at Neville.

"I don't think it's a good idea," he said finally.

"What?" Neville asked innocently.

"Me - in the Gryffindor common room," Harry explained with furrowed brows. "I don't want to destroy your birthday with a stupid quarrel..."

Neville shrugged.

"I don't mind what they say. I want you to be there and that's all. I've already asked professor McGonagall and she agreed..."

"Oh, no," Harry shook his head. It was going to be VERY bad. "This way even she will know about the next hours' fuss... Neville, I don't want father to curse half of the Gryffindors."

"Everything will be all right, Quietus, you will see," Neville said reassuringly, but neither Harry, nor Hermione seemed convinced.

"I don't know, Neville..." Hermione began, but didn't finish the sentence.

Neville's face darkened in sadness.

"Quietus, please..."

Harry nodded, but his heart was heavy as he stood up. For the time they reached the portrait of the fat, pink lady Harry could feel every effect of the panic on himself. His heart was racing, his palms were sweating, his throat was tight and he could barely breathe. He cast a desperate look at Hermione who looked back with the same desperation in her eyes.

"I really don't want it," he muttered to her, and she nodded in understanding.

"I can see it on you."

"Is it so obvious?" Harry tried to gulp.

Hermione didn't answer, just nodded. It didn't calm Harry.

As they entered the whole room froze. No, not in the first moment - everybody needed a little time to realise a SNAPE's presence in the sacred Gryffindor Tower - but in the second.

Harry's face was burning in embarrassment, his pale skin turned into the usual, ugly brick-red on his cheeks and on his throat, but he didn't lower his head: he stood erected and proud. He felt a strong pang of pain in his chest - once upon a time they were all his friends, or at least they considered themselves as ones, but now... Despite Neville's and Hermione's opinion and high esteem of Quietus Snape, nobody else considered him a wished person near themselves. The young children didn't dare to say a word, but the fifth, sixth and seventh year Gryffindors became infuriated.

"What are you doing here?" Seamus stepped to him. "You are not welcome here! It's enough of you in classes, big-headed know-it-all!"

Before Harry could open his mouth Neville stepped between them and answered him.

"I invited him to my birthday. And now, if you would be so kind..." Neville waved his hand dismissively.

"No, I wouldn't," Seamus answered darkly. "If you want to celebrate your birthday with this... with this..."

"You don't need to finish. I'll go," Harry pushed Neville aside and looked at Seamus firmly. Then he turned to the unsure Neville. "See you tomorrow, mate..."

"No! You won't go! You mustn't!" he cried half in desperation and anger.

"Neville, please..."

"Let him go, Neville. We don't want him here," Dean joined Seamus.

"No. I asked professor McGonagall and she gave the permission..."

"But you didn't ask us!" a new voice was added to the emerging noise.

Harry lifted his eyes to the stairs, which leaded to the bedrooms and paled in frustration. It was Ron.

The red-haired boy folded his arms over his chess and walked closer and closer to Harry with slow, intimidating paces. It was enough. Another fight, another rule-breaking... no. Harry turned to leave, but Ron reached his side and grabbed his arm violently.

"Are you afraid, Snape?"

"I'm not afraid, and especially not of you, Weasley," Harry hissed through clenched teeth. "And now let my arm go and me leave."

"Aren't you afraid of me? It's too bad for you..."

"I had more dangerous enemies and I survived more serious situations than you can ever think of, Weasley," he said so silently that only Ron could hear. "I will never be afraid of you, stupid git."

"How dare you..." he tightened his grasp on Harry's arm.

"Let my arm go if you don't want to spend another week in the Infirmary with your broken nose..." Harry said fighting with the sickness of being touched.

Hermione's face was pale as she watched the two boys, but she was frozen in the spot. Her eyes were fixed at Harry's arm in Ron's grasp and Harry knew that Hermione was aware of his feelings. Neville was shaken by nervousness.

"I won't let you go so easy..." Ron moaned to Harry.

"RON! Let him go NOW!"

Ron turned on his heel in surprise. On the top of the stairs stood Fred, his wand pointed at his brother without trembling.

"I will curse you if you don't let him go. NOW! Are you deaf, Ronnykins?"

Ron blushed violently, but let Harry's arm go. He shook his limb and looked at Fred.

"Thanks, Fred," then he averted his gaze to his two friends standing still half-frozen. "I told you, Neville... Good night..." He just nodded towards Hermione not wanting another quarrel just because of him and left.

He felt an urge to collapse just in front of the picture, but the thought of arriving Gryffindors kept him back from acting. Instead, he straightened himself and with steady steps he faced towards the dungeons, Severus, his home, his family... As he thought of him as his Family (yes, Family, not only family), he smiled and felt his burden somehow ease and the past minutes' events less painful. He was not alone.

And there was not only Severus. There were also Neville, Hermione and the twins too - Fred, who was ready to fight with his own brother to protect him... He smiled again.

Life seemed beautiful. Or... at least more beautiful than he had thought before. But just then a soft voice reached his ears.

Crying. Somebody was crying near him. Harry's good mood left. Ares was sitting at the foot of the hall's wall, his legs drawn to his chest, his head lowered to his knees, his shoulders were shaken by desperate sobs.

Harry knelt at him instantaneously.

"Ares," he put a hand on his shoulder and shook kindly. "Ares, hey, mate, what happened...?"

Ares jerked violently, but he didn't lift his head.

"'s not your business... leave me alone..." he mumbled through the sobs.

Harry sat on his heels and rested his hand still the other boy's shoulder.

"Somebody has died? A friend, a relative of yours..."

"Leave me alone, Quietus!" he snapped at Harry angrily. "You weren't too interested in my well-being in the last weeks, so what do you want now? Go away!"

"I won't," Harry said calmingly. "And I apologise for my behaviour, Ares. It was uncalled for. I'm sorry..."

"Why? Do you want my secrets without me, Quietus? Leave me alone!"

Harry shook his head and didn't move.

"I don't want your secrets, Ares. But let me stay with you until you calm down. You don't need to tell me anything. Is that all right with you?"

Ares, still with a lowered head murmured something, what Harry recognised as a yes, and he sat next to his mate. They were just sitting there in silence.

After a while Ares sighed and lifted his head.

"You did know it, didn't you? And it was the reason you didn't intend to become my friend, wasn't it?"

Harry got appalled.

"I don't know what are you talking about," he said hoarsely.

"My father," Ares said with a false grin. "My Death Eater father."

Harry froze.

"Why do you ask it?" he made the question very cautiously.

"I got to know it today. The Ministry arrested him just after the yesterday's attack. They questioned him, and he confessed everything. They will condemn him to a life imprisonment, I'm sure. But I'm not sure how to feel, how to live anymore. I knew that dad was interested in dark magic, as almost every Slytherin of his age, but I've never suspected him being a faithful servant of You-Know-Who..." his voice cracked again as the cry overwhelmed him.

"You didn't know it, did you?" Harry touched his shoulder again. Ares just shook his head in response.

"It's so terrible..." Ares now wasn't even fighting with the sobs. While he spoke enormous tears left his eyes and washed down his face. "He always was so kind... and I loved him too... I always wanted to be like him... a strong, loving man who cares for his family... but now, but now..." he couldn't continue. He pressed his forehead to his knees and cried again.

Harry cast a silencing spell to the corridor, and wrapped an arm around Ares's shoulders. He didn't say a word, he simply didn't know what to say, which words were supposed to be comforting in this situation - Harry was suspicious that there wasn't any.

"I've always trusted him... Now I feel betrayed... And what can I think of my mother? She surely knew... Is she a Death Eater too?" he leaned on Harry who held him tightly. "Till today everything was so simple... but now... what can, what must I do, feel?"

Harry just hummed reassuringly.

"And I hate myself for crying... I hate you, I hate that you're seeing me cry, that you're seeing me as weak... I'm not supposed to be weak, to be exposed to anyone besides my family... but my family ceased to exist today... and I'm now complaining to you, who is nothing, nobody to me..."

"I'm sorry..." Harry whispered unhappily. "I'm so sorry... I didn't want to hurt you. And... and I want you to know that you can count on me to help you whenever you need."

"Don't make silly promises, Quietus. And I don't need your pity."

"I don't pity you. I just... I just want to be your friend, okay?"

Ares lifted his tear-washed face and stared at Harry.

"Time will tell. Friendship is not a matter of decision."

"It is," Harry stated firmly.

"No, not only. We'll see, all right?"

"All right. But now... I have to return home if I don't want father to kill both of us for lurking around the school ground after bedtime."

"Yeah, you're right," Ares grinned at Harry, "as always, Mr Know-It-All."

"Don't call me that!" Harry reacted angrily.

"Any problem?"

Harry was just about to wave in dismissing, but he suddenly remembered his promise. If he wanted to be Ares's friend, he had to open up to him in return - at least partially.

"I had a rather uncomfortable quarrel in the Gryffindor common room with some classmates of mine."

"Why did you go there?" Ares asked appalled.

"I was invited to Neville's birthday party. But they got rid of me soon. And one of them called me know-it-all, in a very... abusive way."

"They have beaten you?" Ares couldn't help but gaped in shock.

"No. They were only verbally abusive. But, believe me, sometimes it's better to be beaten physically than abused verbally."

Ares nodded.

"I can imagine..."

It was almost midnight when he arrived at home. He was slightly nervous about Severus's possible reaction of his delay, but just as he entered the living room he found a very mad-looking potions master, his eyes burning in wrath, his nervousness changed to be rage abruptly.

"Hi, Severus..." he attempted a smile towards the man, but he ignored his attempt.

"WHERE WERE YOU?" he bellowed as loud that Harry felt a sudden urge to cast a silencing spell to their quarters too unless he intended the whole school to know about his errand for the next day.

"I was invited to Neville's birthday," he answered and lowered his head.

"You are NOT allowed to wander along the school after curfew, and certainly not in times like THIS!"

"But, Severus, what if the times will always be like this?" he cracked a half-smile.

But this time Severus wasn't about to digest his impertinence.

"Silence! You should contact me before you had accepted the invitation!"

"But I wasn't there for long!" Harry cried at him. Snape's face darkened.

"No?" Harry shook his head. "Then I repeat my first question: where were you precisely?"

"In a hall, sitting next to a wall." Harry crossed his arms over his chest.

"Did they hurt you?"

The abrupt change in Severus's mood shocked Harry.

"What?"

"I suppose you left so quickly because they were attacking you."

"Yes, but it wasn't the reason..." Harry sighed heavily. "Can I sit down? I feel totally exhausted."

Severus nodded and eyed him suspiciously while he moved to the sofa to sit on.

"So?" the man asked and looked at Harry intensely.

"I had found Ares in that corridor. Don't!" He cried as he saw Severus opening his mouth. "Let me finish, please. So I found him crying. He said that he found out today that his father is a Death Eater, because the Ministry arrested him and they informed Ares officially about him. He was broken. I couldn't leave him there."

Severus stepped at him and crouched down so that their eyes were at the same level.

"It was very kind of you, Quiet. Really. But I still ask you not to do this again. It's not safe for you to be with him alone in an empty hallway, after curfew. I know that you trust him, but I don't. No," he raised his voice as Harry tried to interrupt him. "This time let me tell you what I want without interruptions."

Harry nodded.

"I saw many things during my life, the last war, my spying. You can't be sure about anybody, Quiet. And certainly not about Death Eaters' children."

"But Ares..."

"Are you sure it was a chance you've found him alone in that corridor?"

"But he didn't know about Neville's invitation."

"Are you sure, or you are just guessing?"

"You are paranoid."

"This is the reason I'm still alive," Severus's face softened. "Quiet, I don't want to lose you."

"I know, but I can't live like this. I want to befriend the kids I find sympathetic and that's all. I'm bored of your useless restrictions."

"Useless restrictions???" Severus's voice lifted to unbelievable heights. "This was the only one thing I've asked you!"

Harry shrugged and turned his back to the man.

"I promised him to be his friend."

"You won't."

"You can't give me orders about who I want to befriend!"

"I can and I will!"

"Never!" Harry shouted finally, and left for the bedroom and slammed the door behind himself with a loud boom.

The next moment Snape was standing next to him and grabbed his arm.

"Quiet!" he said menacingly. "Behave yourself!"

They stared at each other and Harry pulled his arm out of his grasp.

"Leave me alone!" he said finally.

"Watch your mouth!"

"Bugger off!" Harry cried impatiently. "I don't need your suffocating presence! I want to live my life! MY life!"

"But..."

"I hate when you want to tell me what to do, how to feel. It was you who failed your life and still you are preaching to me about..." Harry didn't continue. Suddenly, but too late, he realised what he had just said. He paled and looked at Severus, whose face now was closed and distant.

"Severus..."

"Go to bed," Severus hissed at him. "Now."

When Harry was in his bed he was still mad at the man. He lay on his back staring at the ceiling, his fist clenching and unclenching in anger.

'It's my life. I want to decide what to do! I was very well without his counsels before!' he fumed to himself.

But behind his anger he felt a pang of guilt because of his rude words. Severus didn't deserve them.

But he didn't leave Harry alone. He interfered in Harry's life.

Like Harry interfered in his.

But Ares was worthy of Harry's friendship.

But Severus tried only to protect him.

His internal battle continued until Severus, too, went to bed much later.

Harry sighed in relief. He still couldn't sleep alone.

*******************************************************************************The next day was simply terrible. Severus ignored him, Ares avoided him, the Gryffindors glared at him menacingly and called him names when nobody could hear. When afternoon came he and Neville went to the potions tutoring, but the potions master drove them away quite impatiently.

Harry shrugged and went; followed by a very confused Neville.

"Hey, Quietus, what happened?" he asked when they were out of earshot.

Harry snorted impatiently.

"We had a short of... fight yesterday. But I don't want to speak about it."

"Was it my birthday...?"

"No. But I still don't want to speak about it."

"But..."

"Leave me alone!" Harry snapped at Neville and facing the library, left him behind.

Beautiful. By the end of the day he wouldn't be on terms with anybody, he thought sarcastically as he reached his usual - and fortunately empty - desk. Hermione wasn't there.

He picked his Arithmancy book up and prayed that Hermione wouldn't arrive. He didn't want to hurt her too, and this day, seemingly, he was just too rude to everybody.

She, naturally arrived at the usual time, and when she noticed that Harry buried his face into his book, she didn't say a word, just began to do her usual investigations.

They were studying there in silence for two hours. Then Hermione cried out all of a sudden.

Harry cast a questioning glance at her.

"I think, I've found it!" Hermione whispered triumphantly.

"The potion ingredient?"

Hermione nodded and slipped the book in front of Harry.

"Here! Look!"

Harry turned his eyes to the book.

'Potions for different kind of bites' the chapter's title read.

'Potions for werewolves' bites' was the first subtitle.

"You are marvellous!" Harry grinned at her. "Let's go to father and show him!"

Hermione put a piece of parchment between the pages, closed the book, but she didn't move.

"Come on, Hermione! Let's show it to him!"

She nodded unmoving.

Harry cast a suspicious glance at her.

"Hermione?"

"You will apologise to Neville, won't you?"

Harry shifted uncomfortably and stared out of the window into the darkness.

"I didn't do anything to him. I just didn't want to tell him anything, which was not his business."

"You hurt him."

"I didn't."

Hermione sighed and grabbed the book.

"Let's go to your father," she said finally. "But don't think you can spare the apology."

Harry shook his head angrily.

The whole thing wasn't entirely his fault. He just wanted to protect Ares - from Severus and from the Gryffindors. Why did it mean that he had to fight with everyone?

Well, his words were rather uncalled for. Even if he was right, he had no right to hurt the others around him.

He stopped and turned to Hermione.

"I will apologise to Neville tomorrow. I promise."

"All right."

*******************************************************************************By the time they reached the dungeons they were practically running.

Into a tall figure who was standing by a corner.

"It's not allowed to run in the corridors. Neither of you," Severus cast a cold glance at Harry. "Five points from Gryffindor and a detention to you, Quietus."

Harry stopped dead. What?

"We bring a book to you, sir," Hermione reached out her hand with the tame, "We found that potion..."

Severus looked at the girl in thought.

"Very well. Ten points to Gryffindor, then."

"And me?" Harry asked cautiously.

"I will speak to Mr Filch about your detention."

"But professor..." Hermione began but Snape interrupted him.

"It's my task to decide about award or punishment, Mrs Granger. I don't think I need your counsels on it," he said coolly. "As for you, Quietus, I want to see you at home just after the dinner. Do you understand?"

Harry nodded numbly. He was angry with him again.

As Severus left they cast a nervous look at each other.

"I think I know why you shunned Neville..."

Harry grinned bitterly.

"I told things much more uncalled for to Severus than to Neville yesterday..." he sighed after a while. "But... I didn't want to hurt him. I just..." he popped his hands to his side "I just tried to explain to him that Ares is not as dangerous as he thinks."

When Hermione folded her arms waiting for the continuation Harry gave in and told her the whole story since the point when he had left the Gryffindor common room.

"I think you should listen to him, Quiet. He has been the head of the Slytherin house for years, and he surely knows the relations and coincidences better, much better than you do. You have been living in the muggle world, but he was always a wizard. And you really can't know if..."

"I can know, Hermione. I may be a stupid muggle, but I'm a human and I have experiences with people. I'm sure Ares didn't lie. I could see it in his eyes. I could hear it in his voice. He was so desperate..."

"I don't know, Quiet, who is right and who isn't. But I think you must apologise to Professor Snape nevertheless."

"I don't know how," Harry looked devastated.

"Tell him: I'm sorry. It's quite appropriate."

"Sometimes sorry seems to be the hardest word. It's like confessing that you were wrong. But I know I wasn't wrong about Ares."

"But you were about your father."

Hermione was right. Harry, however, wasn't able to say a word to Severus. They spent the evening in total silence, except when Severus informed him about his detention's details with Filch. Harry shrugged in mocked indifference, but he was raging inside.

And that night he had a vision, again.

A vision, in which the Death Eaters and Voldemort questioned a man about somebody's whereabouts. Harry couldn't understand the name of the person they were asking for, he just observed the torture shaking violently.

He didn't know the man, and after some minutes he was sure he would never recognise him. Harry wanted to exit somehow, but he couldn't. He was trapped in his vision and was compelled to observe the torture, which was just too similar to his previous experiences.

"No, no, no," he moaned silently as he looked the torture.

"Where is she?" Voldemort asked at times.

"I will never tell you," the man answered quietly.

Harry tried to close his eyes, but he couldn't. Stupid visions. Where was Severus now?

"You will tell us, believe me. We have plenty of ways to persuade you..."

"I won't," he whispered.

Harry was trapped.

He desperately wanted to get free.

He couldn't.

"Where is she?"

'Tell him, tell him!' he shrieked in pain to the man. 'He will kill you if you won't!'

"No," after a while he managed to say only this word. "No."

'Please!'

"No."

'Tell him!'

"No."

Where was Severus in this hell? Would he leave him here? With the Greatest Bastard? In a manor so alike to Nightmare Manor?

As Harry watched the man with compassion he realised that he began to feel the curses, the tortures as if he had been there, as if he had been the hurt man. His breathing became incoherent, his heart was racing in panic. How could this happen?

He whimpered in pain and began to sweat.

He couldn't escape.

It hurt.

Everything hurt.

He never wanted to feel this again. Never.

Why should he feel it nevertheless? Why? He cried the question.

He felt like he was ripped in two when Voldemort cast the Cruciatus on them.

But he didn't shriek.

Just when Avery came.

No.

His skin burst into flames.

NO!

Nevermore!

*******************************************************************************


	8. Reconciliation

Betaed by Lliey Gemini *************************************************************************** Chapter 8 - Reconciliation 

***************************************************************************

Severus froze when he heard the inhuman shriek from the bedroom. He was sitting in front of the fireplace studying the potions of the tome found by Hermione, and sometimes thinking of Harry and their conversation of yesterday evening.

He didn't know how to react precisely, the words Harry said hurt him too much.

Perhaps Harry was right and he had no right to interfere in his life.

But he only wanted to protect him...

It would be so easy to hate the boy after all he said. But he couldn't. He was Quietus's. And he was Quietus. Just a little bit more tempered than him.

He was unfair with the detention. Harry was running to him. No, not to HIM, he corrected himself. He was searching for the school's Potions Master. And not Severus. Great difference!

Albus was wrong. Harry didn't love him. He didn't hate him either, but he surely didn't love him. His heart sank. And he felt so ridiculous. Wasn't it the same? Why did he bother with the stupid boy's feelings?

It wasn't a stupid boy. It was Harry. He still couldn't consider him anything but his son.

Well, they had a usual family quarrel...

But sons generally loved their fathers. And Harry didn't love him. Though, sometimes, he could believe that Albus had been right. Then... why did he say that thing about his faults?

He was lost in his thoughts.

But the all too familiar shriek snapped him out instantly.

He knew this shriek. Nightmare Manor, separation. Harry with Avery, alone...

He jumped to his feet and nearly broke the door in his hurry to Harry's bed.

"Harry, Harry, wake up!" he called to him shaking his shoulders. "WAKE UP!"

The shriek stopped as Harry opened his eyes.

"Severus!" he cried and jumped into his arms. "Severus." He clutched the man's robes and curled at his chest, shaking.

Severus's eyes widened in horror as he caught the blood on Harry's night-clothes. He gathered Harry into his arms and caressed his hair cautiously. Harry nestled to him even more.

"Severus," he said again. He was saved.

"You are bleeding..." his step-father's voice sounded scared.

"It was Avery," Harry said in a tiny, shaking voice. "And Voldemort. They tortured a man and I felt everything they did to him..."

"I'll clean them..." Severus began, but Harry shook his head.

"Please, don't let me go," he mumbled unhappily. "Not yet."

Severus nodded and lifted Harry onto his lap.

When his trembling ceased a little, Harry opened his eyes and looked into Severus's.

"I'm sorry, Severus. I didn't want to hurt you. I was rude and unfair. I know that you just tried to protect me, but I'm only a stupid teen..."

"Ssh, Harry. Stay calm. This is not the time to discuss that."

"But it is," Harry protested in a weak voice. "I have to tell you that I'm really grateful for you being there for me. And I'm sorry I've hurt you."

"Shut up," Severus smiled at him kindly.

"But..."

"Shut up," he said again, "or I will bring you to Madame Pomfrey directly."

Harry smiled at him weakly in return and closed his eyes.

"You are not mad at me, are you?" he mumbled.

"No, I'm not. But I have to wash you and change your clothes. You are bloody."

Harry nodded and Severus brought him into the bathroom. He stripped the boy's night-clothes and gasped in horror. Harry was still too thin and bony, he could count all his ribs, which were standing out prominently behind his pale skin. Pale, and full of cuts - now half-open cuts, still oozing.

"You still don't eat enough," he stated sadly.

"I try," Harry whispered. "But I can't."

"You must."

"I know."

Harry wanted to wash himself. He felt extremely uncomfortable Severus helping him, but he couldn't do it himself. Everything ached, the cuts were burning painfully. He felt dizzy and he had a horrible headache too. With all this put together, all he could do was sit in the bath, his hands at his side weakly, he was simply unable to open the tap or grab the soap, which always slipped out of his hands. Severus, after he returned the excited piece of soap from the other end of the bathroom for the third time, got tired at Harry's pathetic attempts to clean himself and he washed him cautiously, with tenderness.

He trembled as Severus cleaned the cuts and washed the blood away. Finally Harry couldn't restrain his tears anymore and his body was shaken by silent sobs.

Severus froze in half-movement.

"Did I hurt you?"

Harry shook his head in refusal and struggling with the sob he stuttered, "It was me who hurt you. I was cruel and wrong," huge tears hit the water's surface.

"Calm down. No hurt done," Severus said cautiously.

"I know I hurt you and you are so kind to me nevertheless. I don't deserve it..."

"You are but a stupid teen, as you said. I didn't take your words too hard." It was a downright lie, but for now he found it more important to calm Harry down than to tell him the truth.

But Harry wasn't convinced.

"You looked devastated. And if even I can see your desperation, you had to be extremely sad."

Severus sighed. Apparently, he was always less and less successful at cheating the boy. As they grew closer and got to know each other better the possibility to cheat each other diminished rapidly. He turned his attention back to Harry's back.

"Well, it wasn't a pleasant feeling..." he admitted quietly. "Perhaps I shouldn't love you so much..."

Harry didn't react, just lowered his head deeper in guilt.

Severus stood up leaving Harry in the bathroom while he went to his lab to pick up some potions for the boy's injuries. After returning he cleaned them and dabbled them cautiously, then lifted the boy into his arms and brought him back to the bedroom.

"I can walk, Severus," Harry protested weakly.

"I won't let you," he answered and put him onto his bed. Harry's was too bloody to sleep in. "You have to sleep with me again, I'm sorry. Your bed is not suitable for sleeping."

"'sall right," Harry muttered and curled into a ball. Severus sighed and tucked the blanket tightly around him. Then he went to the bathroom, cleaned up the mess and changed into his night-clothes. When he returned to the bedroom Harry was already half-asleep. He was trembling slightly in pain. Severus slipped next to him and caressed his head slightly. Harry moved closer and curled at his side.

"Thank you..." he mumbled , then he added, "love you too" to the petrified man.

Severus looked at him in disbelief. Harry surely didn't intend to tell him this. He was already sleeping, wasn't he? 

But then, Harry opened his eyes and cracked a half-smile.

"G'night."

Listening to Harry's steady breath, Severus thought of the last two days again.

Was Albus right?

Inside, he felt so warm and... something else he could not place a finger on. No, not love: his love for the boy was pretty obvious to him. Something akin to happiness? No. It was even more than happiness. He was overjoyed. The little, precious, impertinent prat somehow managed to steal himself into his heart too deep. He wanted to embrace Harry, but he feared he'd crush him in his excitement. Instead, he sometimes ran a hand over his hair and tapped his forehead kindly. Harry could even have a fever because of the physical injuries.

So, he was happy now. And he was afraid of the future.

In his life, happiness never lasted long. Indeed. The dread of losing Harry started to grow inside of him. It wasn't a slight chance. To Voldemort he was the son of the traitor - an excellent tool for a possible blackmail. For Harry's mates he was the son of their most hated professor, and a son of a Death Eater. And, above all, he was still Harry Potter the supposed saviour of the wizarding world. He could almost see the hands reaching to tear Harry away from him, to claim his life...

His happiness was always like this. Mixed with sadness, grief and guilt.

"Quietus, if you can hear me where ever you are, then please help me to keep him alive, to give him everything he deserves. Help me!"

And as an answer the thought came: he would bring Harry to the cemetery, and he would show him his every beloved's tombs. Including Quietus's.

*************************************************************************** 

"No, Quiet. You will stay in bed for today. I won't let you go to classes. I've already talked to Albus about it and he excused you from your lessons."

Severus stood over Harry's bed in a menacing manner, his hands on his hips, with the usual sneer on his face.

"Severus, please," Harry sat up. "I have double defence classes and I still can't conjure the simplest shield."

"I will teach it to you this afternoon. But you can't move out of bed, except for using the loo, do you understand?"

"And... what can I do the whole day?"

"You can read, or you can listen to music, if you want," Severus checked his forehead for the last time. "I will return here to have lunch with you. Don't turn the quarters upside down until then, please."

"All right, father!" Harry saluted playfully.

"Idiot..." Severus swirled out from the room, fast enough to conceal his wide smile from the impertinent boy. But he couldn't help it: Harry just made his day with his playful remark. He was still smiling as he left for the Great Hall.

He sat on his usual chair next to Mrs Figg and absentmindedly began to put jam on his toast still meditating on Harry's words - including the previous night's words, as suddenly he sensed that an unusual silence fell on the room. He lifted his head curiously just to face almost three hundred, wide-eyed students looking directly at him.

He blinked in surprise. What happened?

"I'm glad to see you smile, Severus, but I think you can finish it," Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling more than ever. "You shocked the population of the school near death."

The Headmaster's taunting remark just increased his amusement but he tried to school his expression into its usual, blank state. It was hard.

"Why, Albus? I think it suits him better than sneering," McGonagall added and Snape flushed bright red in embarrassment. But, at least he could finish grinning like a fool.

"Minerva, please," he groaned angrily. "My reputation..."

"Ah, your snappy self is protesting against human feelings," McGonagall smirked at him and leaned closer. "But I don't think, Severus, it would be such a disaster if your reputation of the greasy, bad-tempered 'git' were ruined once and for all."

"Minerva!"

"All right, all right," the transfigurations professor leaned back to her chair. "Just sneer and scowl if that makes you happy," she shrugged closing the argument.

The whole conversation was too quiet so the students couldn't hear a word of it, but they saw the short argumentation and they began to guess.

"What can McGonagall say to the git to make him blush?"

"Why was Snape smiling?"

"Did they have a quarrel with McGonagall?"

"He's planning something for the potions lesson, for sure..."

But two of them looked at each other worrying.

"Where is Quietus?" Hermione asked Neville who looked equally nervous.

"I don't know," he whispered back as he checked the Slytherin table for the fifth time. "He isn't here."

Their worry increased.

Meanwhile Harry was bored. It was a stupid idea of Severus to remain in bed all day, but he knew he couldn't protest against it. Not now, not after all he said to him.

He was wondering if Severus would be able to forgive him his uncalled for and cruel words. He was always so fast to get angry and so slow to forget. He sighed and hoped that Severus wouldn't be angry with him for too long.

***************************************************************************

Harry could return to classes two days later.

Neville and Hermione were clearly relieved as they saw him entering the Transfiguration classroom, unlike the other Gryffindors, who just glared at him despisingly. Harry didn't mind them, he slipped into his chair next to Neville.

"Potions tutoring tonight at 6 p.m." he whispered to the Gryffindor.

"Together?"

"Sure," Harry cast a serious glance at him. "And I want to apologise, Neville. I didn't want to hurt you."

"You didn't hurt me. I think you had your own problem to solve," the round-faced boy grinned at him.

Harry just rolled his eyes in return and McGonagall began the lesson. Harry always suspected that the professor liked him, but this time she was exceedingly friendly to Harry. This annoyed Ron to no end so after the lesson he didn't miss stopping Harry in the hallway and to threaten him verbally again. Harry, however, wasn't in the mood to quarrel with him, so he just folded his arms over his chest and waited until Ron finished his lecturing. Then he nodded.

"All right, Weasley. I will be cautious not to touch you or your girlfriend, not to cross your way and not to talk to you anymore. Then, please, I ask you the same, except from the girlfriend stuff. Right? So, please, leave me alone."

"You are a coward," Ron spat the words and left him on the spot.

Harry was caught off guard at this remark, but he didn't show it. When Ron disappeared, he shrugged and went to his way.

Later in the library he told Hermione about their short conversation.

"Are you sure I won't break your... relationship by a chance?" he asked the girl seriously.

"I've already told you the answer. What about the potions?"

"The werewolf book?"

"Yes."

"Father is still studying it and ordered some missing ingredients in Hogsmeade," Harry said then added. "Oh, and I will leave you in a half an hour. I go to potions tutoring with Neville."

"Oh, so you made peace finally!"

"Yes, we did," Harry nodded a little embarrassed.

"It was two days ago, wasn't it?" Hermione suddenly asked.

"How do you know?" his eyes went wide in surprise.

Hermione snickered in a very typical female way.

"Your father is a pretty handsome man when he is smiling."

Harry's jaw fell as he stared at Hermione. He was just gaping at her and Hermione's snickers turned first into chuckle, but as Harry couldn't snap out of his stunned state she burst into a harsh laughter.

"When did... he... smile?" Harry managed to stutter after a while.

"It was a breakfast, and everybody saw him. There was such a silence in the Great Hall that I never heard before since I've been attending Hogwarts. Then McGonagall said something to him and he actually blushed as well."

It was this moment when Harry couldn't help but join Hermione: he too burst into laughter. Severus - smiling, then blushing...

"I guess McGonagall told him the same as you," he grinned wildly. "Severus, you are so handsome when you are smiling, why don't you do it more frequently?" he mimicked the transfigurations professor's tone so good that they laughed again. "I will tell him."

"No," Hermione became terrified for the idea. "He would kill me."

"Oh, well..."

He was still snickering as he added the ingredients to his potion in the classroom later that afternoon. Neville was working on the other end of the classroom, because the potion they were practising was an explosive one and Severus didn't want to risk Harry's life. The tutoring, however, was uneventful and by the end both of them brew their potions correctly.

"Scrub your cauldrons and you are dismissed," Severus said after they bottled the concoction.

Harry and Neville brought their tools to the sink to wash them. Harry tucked up his sleeve as he began scrubbing and he didn't realise that Neville wasn't washing. Indeed. He wasn't even moving. As Harry lifted his eyes to him he could see Neville's gaze fixed on his forearms. Harry followed his gaze and paled.

The cuts. The now fresh-looking, angry red cuts. Neville was looking at them.

His heart stopped. He rolled his sleeves back to his arms and lifted the cauldron out of the sink pretending that nothing happened.

"Quietus," Neville began, but Harry interrupted him.

"I'm sorry, Neville, but I really can't tell you," he looked at his friend pleading. "Please, don't ask me about it."

"But..."

"Please," Harry's voice was thin and hoarse. "I can't tell you. Not now."

"Does your father know about them?"

"Neville, please..."

They stared at each other. After some moments Neville nodded slowly and left the room and Harry.

He collapsed onto the floor.

Neville saw them. He forgot to cast the concealing charms. Severus would be mad at him again, when he found out. How could he be so careless? What did Neville think about him now?

He pulled himself together and finished cleaning up. He put everything in order before leaving. He didn't know how to tell it to Severus. He tried to get home as late as possible.

Then he didn't tell him. It wasn't so important.

***************************************************************************

The next day Ares joined them in the library. He didn't say a word, just sat at the desk and pulled out his books. Hermione cast a questioning glance first at him, then at Harry, and when Harry nodded, she shrugged and buried herself back into the book.

From that day they studied as three.

The next week he brewed his first previously unknown potion correctly, along with Neville. That evening he asked Severus if he could help him in the werewolf researches and he agreed, a little bit surprised.

He was exceeding in Arithmancy and Charms, and even the usually strict McGonagall congratulated him after a successful transfiguration of potatoes into chips. They were learning basic household transfigurations in that year.

He put on some pounds too.

He didn't have so many visions and he had a nightmare only once.

But he still couldn't conjure a simple shield, while the other part of the class was already working on stronger and more complicated shields. He was very ashamed, but he couldn't do anything; just as Mrs Figg pointed his wand to him he became totally impotent. After a while the professor appointed him to research the topic in the library, she apparently didn't want to call the class's attention to Harry's ineptness.

It would have been too suspicious. Not that Hermione didn't catch it. She did, of course. But she didn't confront Harry about this topic again.

It was the day before Halloween when the first Quidditch match took part. Slytherin-Gryffindor. Harry wasn't waiting for it. It meant that his and Hermione's common studying in the library was about to come to an end. Ron would have more time and even she even planned to spend the afternoons with her boyfriend rather than with Harry and Ares. Harry understood her wish, but he felt disappointed. With Hermione in his company he felt as if everything in his life was in its place, he felt like himself.

Well, Ares was a good friend too, but he was much quieter and more closed than Hermione - and Harry didn't know him as much as he knew the girl.

It was a beautiful Sunday. Bright and warmer than usual. After breakfast the students began to file outside - and Harry felt such a disappointment and sadness that he could barely move.

He loved Quidditch. He loved the tension, the last minutes before the game with Oliver's counsels - well, he was already graduated, but Angelina, the new captain of the Gryffindor team surely had some wise things to say before it would begin... And flying - his favourite pastime, the thing he knew the best.

He didn't want to participate as a mere observer. Not to mention that he didn't know where to sit: amongst the Slytherins with Severus or the Gryffindors with Hermione and Neville... He shuddered at the thought. He decided to stay behind. When Ares stood up finishing the breakfast he remained seated.

"Don't you want to come?" he asked.

"Rather not," he answered flatly.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Ares looked at him curiously.

"No, Ares. You can go. I know, you like Quidditch. I just don't want to go."

Ares sighed and cast a longing glance outside. Seemingly, he had an internal dilemma about what to do. But the Headmaster's arrival settled his dilemma.

"Quietus, may I have a word with you? Privately," he added and smiled at Ares, who nodded and left for the Quidditch field.

Dumbledore sat next to him at the Slytherin table. Harry looked quickly around. They were only the two of them in the Hall.

"Is it that bad?" the Headmaster asked kindly and Harry nodded. "You know, Quietus, we generally can't get what we are longing for. On the contrary."

"I know, sir," Harry pointed his look at his empty plate. "It's just... it's so unfair. Why me? Always me?"

"Always the strong ones are supposed to carry the weak ones burden."

Harry lifted his eyes to the old man, and he suddenly realised, he never saw him from such a short distance. Now he could see the lines of tiredness and sadness on the elderly face, somehow he could feel the burden weighing on his aged shoulders.

"Don't you ever think to... abandon everything, to finish fighting and retire?" he asked feeling a little bit impertinent. Was it his business?

Perhaps it was, because Dumbledore didn't refuse to answer.

"I thought once, when I got to know your father. He was stronger than me, and I was willing to give him all the care and responsibility, which was placed on me, but he has died."

Harry shook his head.

"If he was so powerful why did he let Voldemort kill him?"

"He wanted to save Severus. He found it more important to bring his brother to the light than to become the light side's leader. And," his eyes stared at the enchanted ceiling unfocused, "he always refused to be considered strong. He never considered himself strong. Like me, when I was at his age," he turned his look at Harry, "and like you. Do you know that you remind me of him?"

"Not only you," mumbled Harry unhappily. "Even professor Binns mixes me up with him. Not to mention the other teachers, except for professor Figg and professor Vector who didn't teach here fifteen years ago..."

Dumbledore chuckled.

"I heard your story with professor Binns," he said. "You confessed that you are related to a certain goblin, named Godric..."

"Oh, no," Harry flushed. "Goddamned."

"Language, Quietus," Dumbledore lifted his index finger in a teacherly manner.

"It was Godric's family name," Harry choked out a short laughter.

The Headmaster joined his laughter.

"And what about our common friend?" asked Dumbledore.

"Who?"

"Severus. He seems happier lately."

"Really?" Harry's face lightened up. "I thought it was just my imagination."

"There aren't so many complaints of him. The students said he is easier on them."

"I can't feel it," Harry said seriously. "In my classes he always bails the Gryffindors, except for Neville and Hermione..."

"Because they don't accept you."

"I know. But for this I can't see the difference."

"Does he treat you the same as the others?"

Harry closed his eyes in thoughts.

"I can't judge it. The change is too big and abrupt."

"Which change?"

Harry grinned.

"Between my fourth and fifth year. Lately, he doesn't want to get me expelled and make me drink poison during lessons."

"So he goes easy on you, then."

"Just normally, not easy," Harry corrected and they began to talk about their common investigation with Severus on the werewolf cure. They were so lost in their conversation that they didn't even notice as somebody stopped next to them.

"It seems that we have such a weak team this year that even without the famous Potter amongst them the Gryffindor defeated us eagerly," fumed Severus and took a seat next to them. "What are you talking about?"

"Your investigation," Harry looked at him.

"OUR investigation," Severus corrected him and cast a highly proud glance at the Headmaster. "Quietus is an excellent colleague."

"Assistant," Harry protested.

"Don't believe him, Albus. He is just an impertinent prat," he smiled proudly and wrapped an arm around the reluctant Harry's shoulder. "But an exceeding talent in potions."

Harry flushed violently and tried to shake Severus's arm from his shoulder in embarrassment.

"I'm not a talent, Se... father," he corrected himself as he saw the students filing back from the field. He made an attempt again to shake his hand away, but as he caught his proud smile and then the Headmaster's merry twinkle he got an idea. Leaving Severus's arm lying on his shoulder he leaned closer to Dumbledore.

"Do you know, Headmaster, the girls say that father is rather handsome when he smiles," he said matter-of-factly.

The next moment was priceless. Dumbledore burst into laughter so loudly that everybody in the hall turned to them curiously. The smile froze on Severus's face and his flush exceeded even Harry's wildest imaginations. But it didn't took as much time to regain his composure - at least partially, because he was still smiling, although this time his smile was a little evil.

"Do they?" Severus turned to Harry curiously. "And what do they say of you? What about your fan club?"

"I don't have any fan club," Harry mumbled embarrassed, blushing again and cast a disapproving look at the chuckling Headmaster.

"It's only question of time and I will be unable to drive the yearning girls away from our quarters."

Harry jumped on his feet.

"Wait until I catch you!" he waved his hand menacingly at him.

"I'm terrified of you, young man," sneered the well-known potions master crossing his arms expectantly.

"I'm not afraid of you! Whatever you think."

"We'll see."

***************************************************************************

After dinner Harry went to the library to get his transfiguration book he left there Friday. As he was heading towards the dungeon with the book in his hand he was wondering about Severus's apparent change - towards him. Not towards him as Harry Potter, but towards him as his supposed son. It was two months since the school had begun and this was the first public display of emotions Severus showed towards him. In the classes he always treated Harry neutral, trying to avoid even talking to him, and if he had to address him somehow he never called him by name, just said what he wanted and that was all.

But today... Severus had sat next to him, almost had embraced him in front of the whole school and he had been even boasting of him to the Headmaster. Harry confessed to himself that though  he had been very embarrassed, it had been a flattering feeling - not to mention that Severus had behaved like a proud father.

He smiled.

Suddenly, his life didn't seem so difficult to live.

THUD.

Something hit the floor and somebody groaned in pain.

"Leave me alone, please," he heard a painful voice.

Harry abruptly forgot his good mood. He pulled out his wand and stepped closer on his tiptoes.

It was Seamus, lying on the floor, bleeding.

Seamus? What was he doing here? He should have been in the Gryffindor common room celebrating the victory over the Slytherins like others.

"Silencio," whispered an unfamiliar voice and Harry couldn't hear any more sound. But now, he caught the figure. He stood in the shadow in a cloak, his hood over his head. It could be anybody. Now, the figure lifted his wand and pointed to the white-faced Seamus.

Harry froze. What if he wanted to kill him?

His thoughts were rampaging in his head. What could he do? He was too far to catch them in time.

Then it clicked him. A shielding charm!

But he couldn't do even the simplest of them! And now he needed something stronger than the stupid clipeus.

He had been researching on shielding charms for a month. He knew a lot of them. He knew their use and the theory behind their conjuring. He just had to conjure one - possibly the strongest of them. He didn't wait any more.

"Thorax!" he yelled determinately pointing his wand to the lying Seamus.

Blue light erupted from the tip of his wand and it surrounded Seamus in an instant. Harry started to run towards them.

The hooded figure turned on his heel and disappeared in the dark hallway. Harry didn't mind. He knelt next to the crying Seamus.

"Hey, what was that?" he asked worried.

"I don't know," Seamus moaned, wiping the tears with his sleeve. "He attacked me in the darkness and beat me with some unfamiliar curses..."

Harry checked his injures.

"You have to go to the Infirmary," he said firmly and helped him up, slipping an arm under his arms. "Where were you?" he asked as they began to totter towards the medical wing.

"In Hogsmeade," Seamus moaned in pain.

"For butterbeer for the party?" Harry shook his head. "I'm sure the Weasley twins got enough of it. It was totally unnecessary to risk you being caught."

"How do you know that?" he asked suspiciously.

Harry knocked himself mentally. He almost spat his secrets out. Good job!

"I'm in good terms with them," he said in forced calm. "So you didn't go for butterbeer."

"No," Seamus shook his head. "I just... wanted to go to Harry's tomb."

Harry needed all his power to remain standing. His tomb... He wasn't dead and still he had a tomb in Hogsmeade. Beautiful. He winced.

Not to mention that he felt more and more awful because of the close body contact. But the Infirmary was already near, and there he could let Seamus go. One minute. Just one minute.

"What was that... blue light in the hallway?" Seamus asked suddenly.

"A shielding charm. The thorax. Is one of the strongest ones."

"But you... couldn't do the even simplest in lessons!" he cried in surprise.

"I know, but now the wand wasn't pointed at me, but at you and I could concentrate enough to conjure it," Harry explained weakly.

They reached the Infirmary's door.

Harry lay Seamus onto a bed and headed towards Madam Pomfrey's office, but Seamus's voice stopped him.

"Hey, Quietus!"

He turned to him annoyed.

"What's...?"

"I'm sorry that I was such a git to you," he said quietly.

Harry waved his hand dismissively, but Seamus went on.

"I don't think I would have saved you in a situation like mine, and I'm sure I wouldn't have carried you to the medical wing - and you hate to be touched so much..."

Harry winced again, then he shrugged. So it wasn't only Hermione, who noticed it.

"Well, I did, I'm sorry," he said finally and turned again to the office.

"No," Seamus' voice halted him again. "It's on me to apologise. I was unfair to you just because of your father's er... reputation and Ron's hostility. I'm really sorry."

"Apology accepted," he grinned at him. "But let me call Madam Pomfrey finally. I'm tired, I want to go home."

"All right," Seamus grinned back. "And thanks."

***************************************************************************

The next day was eventful.

Seamus still was in the Infirmary, but during the night he had told his story to the Headmaster who had decided to act as fast as they could.

In the first classes the teachers took the students' wands to check them with the Priori Incantatem, but they couldn't find the one with which Seamus had been attacked, however, Terry Boot's wand was missing. He said he lost it during the Quidditch match and insisted that he hadn't attacked Seamus. His own mates were vouching against him: he had return to the dorms just after midnight.

There had been a big quarrel in the teachers' room what to do with the boy, but Dumbledore had defended him - innocent until proved guilty - as Severus told Harry later. Harry smirked as he remembered the same words some years ago, when the Chamber of Secrets had been opened and Snape - no, not Severus, that had been the slimy git Snape most definitely - had suspected them. Severus, seemingly didn't remember.

Severus was firm about Terry's responsibility in the night's cursing and now Harry agreed with him, however, he couldn't understand why Terry's self-defence was so weak and stupid. He had known the consequences of such a deed surely. Harry couldn't understand him.

"Perhaps somebody else used his wand," he summarised his inner conversation to Severus.

He cast on him a thoughtful glance.

"He wasn't in his dorm at that time!"

Harry shifted uncomfortably.

"Perhaps it was a mere coincidence."

"It's just too suspicious, don't you think?"

Harry nodded.

"This is my problem. He isn't so stupid. He's a Ravenclaw!"

Severus smiled.

"It's another kind of intelligence. A Slytherin kind."

"So it was one of your Slytherins!"

"Hey, Quiet, you're jumping to conclusions!"

Harry shrugged and let the topic fall.

The next day Seamus was released from the Infirmary.

He could have breakfast in the Great Hall with his mates.

But he didn't go and sit on his usual place at the Gryffindor table. Instead, he went to the Headmaster and whispered something into his ear. Dumbledore smiled at him and nodded reassuringly. Seamus grinned.

"I want to ask your attention!" Dumbledore raised his voice.

The Great Hall went silent and everybody looked at the Headmaster and Seamus standing next to him.

"Perhaps they found the delinquent," Ares muttered to Harry. He shook his head.

"I don't think so. I have another suspicion..."

The Headmaster went on.

"Mr Finnigan here wants to say something," he said and sat down.

Seamus cleared his throat nervously.

"I just want..." he coughed and cleared his throat again. "I just want to thank Quietus Snape for helping me," he said and scratched the back of his neck in nervousness. He totally forgot what he wanted to say. "Ehem... So... thanks," he blushed and hurried to his place.

"What a shame!" Ares cast a sharp glance at Malfoy and continued the mimicked complaint. "A Slytherin protecting a Gryffindor!"

"He is not a Slytherin," Malfoy groaned back.

"I really pity your house mates, Malfoy. To be in one house with you... a real shame..."

"I pity myself, cousin. To be in one family with you... is much more uncomfortable."

Silence fell on the Slytherin table. Everybody kept staring at the two. Harry could hear a silent 'cling' as somebody's dropped knife hit the plate.

Harry looked at Malfoy curiously. Well, sometimes he hated this whole high-ranked wizarding stuff with its stupid endogamy.

"Just second cousin, Malfoy. Thank God."

"So you are aware..."

Harry shrugged.

"I see somebody told you to behave more kindly with me."

Malfoy glared at him, but he didn't say a word.

"Well then, I have to go, I'm sorry," he turned to the Slytherins. "The show is over, really sorry. To be continued, I think," then he leaned to Ares. "See you in Arithmancy."

Ares nodded and Harry left to Charms.

When he entered everybody looked at him with approval.

"Hi, Quietus," Neville said.

Harry nodded at him and sat down in his place.

"Hey, mate, thanks," it was Dean. Parvati and Lavender smiled at him warmly.

Everybody seemed to accept him finally.

Everybody, except for one.

Ron was sitting in his chair, his arms crossed, and looking at Harry with such a hatred Harry was sure he never cast it even at Malfoy.

He felt like his whole victory was completely useless.

He could never gain Ron's friendship.

Friendship... It was as if he was staying in the harbour seeing the large ship, named Friend, with Ron on board, was departing not to ever return.

***************************************************************************


	9. A home visit

BETAED by Barbara - many thanks  
  
I found it boring *yawn*, but I know you have special taste (because you are reading my silly story), so I think you will enjoy it.  
  
Ice Lupus, labrisa: I hope you find your answer now (regarding Ron)  
  
Tim H. Smith: I know many thing about hapiness and sadness and the constant fear to lose everything. I just wanted you to see it too. Remus is going out of the hospital now. He wasn't the attacker, I assure you.  
  
Anora: sorry for the ending and I think you will hate me this time again.  
  
Lunatic: I HATE short chapters (not to write but read). So I WON'T write short ones! But I've already told you that. My favourite was the 8th chapter. This isn't so good, but necessary regarding the plan.  
  
Elendil Snape: a dire il vero i miei parti preferiti erano quelli quando Snape sorrideva. Sono felice che a te piacciono gli stessi. ;-) Puoi scrivermi in italiano. Ti capisco perfetto, solo la mia... conoscienza? hehe non e il migliore. Scusami.  
  
Blind Joker: well. Ron was the first person in the world who accepted Harry. Don't foget it. I only tell it to you, because after some fanficion we easily forget this fact. Ron is VERY important to Harry. More than you can believe.  
  
griffin: you can't imagine how upset I became reading your review. I know that my English is extremely abysmal, but I'm sure that it improved a lot! Read the second (non-betaed) chapter of Happy Days and you will see the difference. Even I can see it. Anyway: I have found a beta who is correcting the WHOLE HDH, so I hope next week I can re-upload it. I will leave a message at the end of the chapter if I did. My short story, which is a side-story of this stuff is betaed, and I think that is the best of all. If you didn't read, it's about time to do it. (Er... the worst part of your remark was: "nearly incomprehensible hodge-podge". ;-))  
  
OTHERS: MANY thanks. I appreciate your remarks.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Chapter 9 - A home visit  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Harry was running towards the Gryffindor Tower. He had to speak Hermione as soon as possible, and he knew he could find her in the Gryffindor common room, studying with Ron - or in Ron's case: pretending to study.  
  
Yes, Ron would be there, Harry knew it for sure, but he didn't mind. He wanted to tell the good news to Hermione immediately. Their work hadn't been futile, Severus had found the proper potion (or better to say: potions), and during his last visits in St Mungo Lupin had started to get better and better so much so that the doctors would release him in four days or less. Harry had been jumping in joy, when Severus had returned from the hospital last night, he had been deadly tired for the previous days' (and mostly nights') tenacious work, but it had been successful. Lupin had taken his first steps towards the complete healing, and for the first time in two months he had regained his consciousness too and had spoken with Severus.  
  
"Amicitia" he whispered to the fat lady, who swung open letting Harry in.  
  
It was so alike to the feeling when he had been still in this House... Harry sighed mentally and cast a longing glance towards the dormitories. Ron and him as friends...  
  
Harry still hadn't given up on regaining his friendship with him. Well, perhaps Ron had made and said a lot of nasty things to him, but the red- headed boy was still grieving, Harry could feel it, as he had often cast a painful look to his dead friend's empty seat on lessons, as he didn't try to start a new friendship, except for Hermione - but that was another question. Hermione was not a friend, but a girlfriend and it was an enormous difference.  
  
Even his disgusting behaviour to Harry had led him to be isolated from his classmates, who now supported 'Quietus' in their usual quarrels. Harry never wanted it, he could defend himself, so he had driven the worrying mates away from their usual arguments.  
  
"Hi, Quietus, who are you looking for?" it was Neville.  
  
Harry smiled at the boy, who was seemingly not too deep in his studies.  
  
"Hermione," he said and smiled. "I have some really good news for her."  
  
"What?"  
  
Harry folded his arms and cast a serious glance at Neville.  
  
"My, my, Mr Longbottom! Are we curious, aren't we?"  
  
Harry's mimicking of professor Snape was almost perfect, except from the sneer - he just couldn't sneer as professionally as Severus could.  
  
"Oh, my God! You're so alike your father, Quietus! Don't frighten me, please!" Neville snickered, and even Parvati lifted her head and smiled. "And Hermione isn't here, she and Ron went to the library to find a book twenty minutes ago."  
  
"Come then, let's find her. I don't want to repeat myself."  
  
Neville put his book on the table with relief and followed Harry climbing out of the common room.  
  
"Hey, Quietus, why don't you let your hair grow? You would be more similar to professor Snape then," said Neville suddenly. "And your imitation of him would be much more genuine."  
  
Harry turned on his wheel face to face with Neville.  
  
"Any mention of grease and I will hex you!" he lifted his wand menacingly. Neville just shooed his wand away.  
  
"How would I dare to say things like that? I want to live through school until graduation!" he shook his head. "So? Why do you always keep it short?"  
  
"I don't like long hair. And, but this is a secret, Neville," he winked at his friend, "I think father would be more... human with shorter hair. Or less git, if you like it. This hairstyle of his is a tragedy."  
  
They grinned at each other.  
  
In the library there were only the usual Ravenclaw group and some Slytherins, who greeted Harry cautiously, but neither Hermione nor Ron were there.  
  
"If you are searching for Hermione, she left some minutes ago. I think he and Weasley wanted to be on their own," Ares stepped at Harry and grinned at Neville to greet him. The round-faced boy just blinked in surprise. A Slytherin - being nice?  
  
"Oh," Harry said while Neville was amused, he felt it sounded quite stupid.  
  
"Can you come to our common room after dinner? I have some questions about the Arithmancy homework," Ares added.  
  
"Alright," Harry nodded and left with Neville. It wouldn't be his first occasion to visit the Slytherin common room, but he didn't feel comfortable there. It was too dungeon-like and hostile. Ares had known his reluctance and had appreciated that he always had agreed to join Ares there whenever he had asked.  
  
"Why are you friends with Slytherins?" Neville made the question which was bothering him after they were out of the library. Harry stopped, sighed and turned to his companion.  
  
"Neville, my father is the head of that house. I'm having meals with them too. I knew them and I could see that despite the common prejudices and presuppositions there are some good guys there, as well as there are bad guys in every other house too."  
  
"My father was a Gryffindor..."  
  
Uncomfortable silence fell between them.  
  
"Let's find an empty classroom, and I will tell you the news. Hermione has to wait until tomorrow," Harry said finally. "I don't want to be killed by her ferocious boyfriend."  
  
They grinned again and they were about to enter the Arithmancy classroom, which was there, when a loud voice interrupted their conversation. It came from the room they wanted to enter.  
  
"Can't you see, it Herm? How? You are so clever, and YOU can't see it! Damn it, I can't believe it!"  
  
"You are exaggerating, Ron. Quietus is..."  
  
"Quietus! The slimy git gave his partner-in-crime brother's name to his pampered, big-headed, disgusting bastard son... No, Hermione, it's you out of the two of us who can't understand what's going on."  
  
Harry tensed and his hands clenched into fists. Ron was good enough to hurt everybody he held precious with one sentence: his distant father, Severus. And even he was offended. He wasn't that boy Ron described!  
  
"You are unfair to him," came Hermione's voice. She was a true friend.  
  
"I can see through him. Unlike you. He is trying to sneak into our house, into our class in his own, innocent-like way, smiling shyly, protecting injured Gryffindors in empty hallways and streets, he is trying to gain our confidence, how can't you see? Why, do you think, he is doing this? Why?" Ron's voice became louder and louder as he went on. The last sentences were said so aloud that it was impossible not to hear them, however, Harry and Neville were still standing in the corridor. "Can't you think that he is trying to sneak himself into our trust, into our circle, into our side, like his father did, that convicted murderer, who let Harry die and now he is training his son to behave like Harry! Can't you see it? This disgusting sly behaves like Harry! Everything he does it's so like him! His gestures, his words, his behaviour! And why? To destroy us by stealing Harry's memory, to cheat us by capturing what was Harry's place in our lives! And then to kill us as his father did, who slaughtered half of my family!"  
  
"Ron..." Hermione's voice was barely audible.  
  
"Yes, he did!" Ron screamed. "Percy saw his files in the Ministry! He murdered a whole family, two parents, two children, CHILDREN, Hermione! And now he is teaching here and training his filthy piece of a son against us! And Dumbledore believes him, and defends him and his son, and now the whole Gryffindor house believes him, and not me and even you want me to accept that slimy, sneaking bastard, but I won't! Never! So, you have to decide! You can leave me and stay with him, or you can support me, but in that case stay away from him! Please," he added pleading. "I've already lost Harry. I don't want to lose even you..."  
  
This was the point when Harry couldn't bear it any longer. Pressing his palms against his throbbing temples he turned around to get as far from the classroom as he could. It wasn't easy. His legs felt like they were made of jelly, his head was aching sharply, and his vision was blurry. After some tottering steps he felt he would collapse. He reached a hand to the wall and leaned to it searching for balance, when he felt an arm behind his arms.  
  
Without realising he accepted the help, and followed his firm supporter with tightly shut eyes.  
  
He didn't want to see. To think.  
  
Ron's words were burning him inside, were cutting him, like Avery's favourite tool, but it was more, much more painful - without realising Ron defeated him in two fields: Ron noticed, what nobody else didn't notice, that Quietus was Harry, in the other hand he told Hermione the truth about Severus, the very thing, which was suffocating, torturing, haunting his stepfather, the fact that he murdered people, and this was the main reason he always insisted against being happy. He had used to say, that he hadn't deserved happiness. And now Harry could perfectly understand Severus' feelings, and he was desolated and scared.  
  
Did Severus really deserve to be unhappy and die at the end? Could a sin like his be forgiven and forgotten in this life? Wasn't fifteen years of loneliness, three years of spying, dozens of saved people, an attempted self-sacrifice to save Harry when Voldemort wanted to kill him, two weeks of humiliating and painful torments in Nightmare Manor enough to wipe his sin away? Was he really and completely damned once and for all?  
  
Harry didn't want to believe it. He want to believe that Severus would be forgiven and he could feel human again instead of a disgusting piece of filth, as Ron said of him - Ron's words, which were so identical to Severus' self-estimate!  
  
And now he learned that Severus' victims were Ron's relatives.  
  
Everything clicked in Harry to its perfect place. Ron's hatred, his protest against him, the Weasley family's glares at Severus. Yes, Harry could understand Ron's behaviour even before the overheard conversation, but now he could accept it too. Ron was right, and if he looked at things from Ron's point of view he acted right too. Or not right, but in the same way as Severus acted towards Ares - and Ares' parents had never killed any member of the Snape family.  
  
"Good lord, when you think it can't be worse, it always turns out that it can," Harry muttered under his breath.  
  
"Shh, Quietus," Neville made him sit on a chair in another empty classroom.  
  
Harry opened his eyes and looked at him.  
  
"Why don't you leave me alone? You heard the truth, didn't you?" he asked sarcastically.  
  
"Rubbish," Neville cracked a half-smile. "That was not the truth. That was only Ron's version about what he believes the truth. I have my own version," he sat next to Harry.  
  
"What's that?" Harry couldn't help but toned his voice with a slight sarcasm again.  
  
"That's simple. You and your father are all okay for me."  
  
Harry shook his head.  
  
"I don't believe it. Perhaps I can believe that you are okay with me. But my father... You can hear Ron..."  
  
"And I could hear my grandmother too," Neville sighed and cast a heavy glance at Harry.  
  
"Your grandmother?" Harry was surprised. How was Neville's grandmother involved in all this?  
  
"She always tells me stories about my father's cruelty. When I was a little child I was sure that she was lying. Now I know for sure, that she didn't. Never. Do you remember the day you saved me from Terry?"  
  
"Yes, I do," Harry whispered.  
  
"That day Terry told me the truth. His truth. That my father tortured his mother, who wasn't a Death Eater, only was in the wrong place in the wrong time. She was only suspected. But my father almost killed her. He was a pathetic excuse for a human, nothing more. But your father is another question. I assume he was accused of being a Death Eater, like Terry's mother and my father questioned him in his usual way, and under the pressure he confessed anything his tormentor wanted. It has to be the reason to hated me with passion..."  
  
Now Harry's hands trembled and he suddenly couldn't breathe. Neville's good will just rendered the things more insufferable and complicated. Conclusions, again. Half-truths.  
  
And Neville sacrificed his own feelings just to made Harry feel better. He cared for Harry, and Harry owed him the truth.  
  
But how could he tell Neville? It was not his past, not his secrets, but Severus's. But Neville was so open with him. He showed concern and seriousness towards him. But he couldn't slip Severus' past out. Harry suddenly wanted to scream as loud as he could in distress.  
  
But he didn't. Instead, he shut his eyes tightly and took some deep breaths.  
  
"At least I can understand Ron's feelings," Harry said after the long, inner fight. "But, excuse me, Neville, I have things to attend in the Slytherin common room, and I don't want to miss dinner either."  
  
"Well, go then, I think. Meet me tomorrow."  
  
Harry heard the little hint of delusion in Neville's voice but he couldn't help.  
  
Finally he would lose all of his possible friends because of this stupid secret-keeping. He hated his life's secret. And now he had to agree with Ron for his hatred towards Quietus on the top of all.  
  
Ron acted as he had to.  
  
In the Slytherin common room he almost could feel the tension as he came in. Nobody spoke, but the complete silence betrayed that there was a rather furious quarrel just before Harry entered and it was Harry's entrance, which interrupted it. When they saw that it was just Harry, the noise snapped out again.  
  
"What's on?" Harry asked as he was seated next to Ares.  
  
"Zabini," he sighed miserably. "Malfoy decided to teach him a little bit. Seemingly, he was disobedient or so."  
  
"Disobedient?" Harry's eyes widened in shock. "Why should he obey Malfoy?"  
  
"He shouldn't," Ares shrugged. "He, however, does. I don't know why. I think he wants to prove to them that he is worthy to be in Slytherin."  
  
Harry didn't like the situation, but when they stopped screaming at Zabini and moved towards the dormitories, sending the visibly frozen boy ahead them, he couldn't even pretend to be indifferent. Ares looked at him with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"It's not your business, I think," he nudged the staring Harry.  
  
"What are they up to do now?" Harry turned to him.  
  
"I think he will be beaten a little bit," Ares' voice sounded blank. Harry could feel his blood blowing.  
  
"How can you be so neutral? He is your housemate! And..." he couldn't finish.  
  
"HE DID choose this way. HE wanted to be a servant. So HE has to bear the consequences."  
  
"No. I didn't ask this. I ask how can you be such a git as not to help him..." he cast a despairing glance at Ares and stood up.  
  
"Wait, Quietus," Ares said and pulled Harry back to the chair. "I made my decision in my first year. It was not simple, I had to pay for it, but I did it nevertheless. And there are people like me. Janus, for example. You don't need to join either group here. But if you decide to do it, you have to bear the consequences of your decision."  
  
Harry looked at Ares, contemplating on what he heard. Well, most definitely, this wasn't the Gryffindor Tower. Seemingly, here there were other rules to play. He felt a short moment of uncertainty. But when he heard the first muffled cry from the dormitories, he didn't hesitate any more. He pulled out his wand and ran through the dorm's door.  
  
"Stop it! Now!" he bellowed as he learned from Severus.  
  
In the shady room he could see two figures straightening and a third leaning to a bed, observing the other two's 'work'.  
  
"Get out, Snape," Malfoy's voice snapped. "We don't need your presence."  
  
"Leave him alone, Malfoy, or I will curse you."  
  
"It's not your house, it's not your business."  
  
"Well, if I remember correctly, my father is the head of this house, so it is indeed my business."  
  
"Concerned, are you?" sarcasm toned Malfoy's voice. "No, Snape. Get out now. I don't mind your parentage," and waved his hand towards his cronies who turned to the quietly moaning Zabini to go on with their work.  
  
"Stupefy!" Harry yelled, pointing at the two idiots.  
  
"How dare you...?" began Malfoy and stepped closer to Harry.  
  
"How dare YOU?" Harry asked in return and in the next moment he exploded.  
  
Seemingly, it was too much all what happened that afternoon. Severus' news, Ron's revelation, Neville's failed comfort, Ares' uncaring words - when he regained his normal self again he was lying on the floor, his shoulders pinned strongly by Ares. Draco was sitting on a bed, pressing a large, bloody handkerchief on his face.  
  
And Severus was standing in the door.  
  
"What's going on here?" he asked menacingly not noticing the Harry lying nearby for which he was really grateful.  
  
"Your son hit me in the face, professor," Malfoy's voice dipped in hatred. "He threatened to kill me."  
  
"It's a pity I've failed, disgusting git," Harry groaned struggling to get away from the contact with Ares.  
  
Severus just now realised that he was in the room too.  
  
"Mr Nott, move from him, now," he ordered sharply. When Ares let Harry's shoulder go he sat up. "Explain," Severus looked at him coldly.  
  
"He made his cronies beat Zabini. I said him to stop. He didn't. We had a fight then."  
  
"YOU started it!" Malfoy shouted.  
  
"Silence!" Severus bellowed at them. "Is it true, Mr Malfoy?"  
  
The blonde boy stood up and crossed his arms over his chest impertinently. He wasn't as threatening as he wanted to, he had a black eye and his nose was still bleeding.  
  
"What? That your son wanted to kill me?" he spat.  
  
"Don't talk rubbish. I asked you about Zabini," Severus, on the contrary was menacing.  
  
Malfoy shrugged.  
  
"He offered to work to me. He failed his role. I gave him the proper punishment."  
  
"Slavery is not allowed in Hogwarts, Mr Malfoy, neither in Slytherin House!" Snape's voice was angrier than ever.  
  
"Last year you didn't seem so set against it," Malfoy smirked at him.  
  
"It's 50 points from Slytherin, Mr Malfoy. And one week of detention with Mr Filch. Come to my office tomorrow after lunch to fix the details." His glare was cool as he stared at the blonde boy. "And the next time I hear about you using your classmates as slaves or servants, you will be expelled. And I don't know if you can find any other school to attend, Mr Malfoy. Durmstrang is not waiting for you, I think."  
  
Harry's heart began to pound faster. Just the three of them knew what Severus was talking about.  
  
"I will send a letter to your father too. I will let him know that you called public attention to yourself again with a fight with your... cousin."  
  
The next moment Malfoy paled so perfectly that Harry thought he would faint. He bit his lips and turned away from his professor.  
  
Severus just looked at him steadily.  
  
"Do you understand?"  
  
"I do," Malfoy said and he added, "sir."  
  
Severus now turned to Harry.  
  
"As for you, we will fix you a detention with Hagrid. I think he needs somebody to help him in keeping clean his... animals," he said sarcastically. "And now come."  
  
Harry stood up and followed the man to their quarters.  
  
When they arrived and Severus closed the door behind him, he strode across his favourite chair, he sat down facing Harry.  
  
"Explain."  
  
"What?" Harry's voice sounded tired. Well, he was tired. Deadly. And he didn't know what he should tell Severus. He certainly wasn't ready to reveal any part of the afternoon's conversations. Most of all not Ron's remarks regarding his... past.  
  
Severus looked at him through the curtain of his greasy hair. He even scowled in anger.  
  
"You are not that kind of a fighter. Why did you beat Malfoy? And if you decided to attack him, why didn't you use a curse or a spell?"  
  
Harry lowered his head.  
  
"You won't believe it," he sighed, "but I didn't even think of using my wand. I lost my temper when I saw them punching Zabini."  
  
He lifted his gaze and their eyes locked.  
  
"You are hiding something," Severus said, this time much calmer.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it, Severus. Not yet at least," he added the last sentence as he saw the annoyance appearing on his uncle's face. "Sorry. It's too... personal."  
  
"Mr Weasley, I assume?" there was pure loathing in the voice.  
  
Harry waved his hand.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it. Please."  
  
They stared at each other intensely, but it was Severus who finally gave up.  
  
"Alright. But you know, you can tell me, if something is disturbing you."  
  
"I know. And I think I will tell you everything, but not now," Harry nodded and hoped he could come to terms with the things he heard. With all of them. It seemed impossible now.  
  
He couldn't sleep in that night either. He somehow succeeded in fooling Severus, who never fell asleep before Harry, but this time Harry needed time to think. To think and re-think.  
  
So, his facade was fading. At least Ron caught something. Hermione didn't, but now that Ron called her attention to the similarities, it was very possible that she would figure out. But what could he do about it? Deny till the end. Nothing else.  
  
As for Severus - it was a harder topic. Harry knew very well his past, their common captivity had made Severus share his secrets with Harry. But until now those secrets and sins were nameless and so they were neutral in a certain sense. This time, however, he got to know at least four out of them. Four. A family. Two adults and two children.  
  
Bloody hell.  
  
He wasn't angry with Severus, he wasn't deluded either. He just didn't know how to judge the whole thing.  
  
He loved the man. His uncle. His father. And he had forgiven him those things, which were Severus' sins against him. But how could he forgive the other things? It wasn't his place to forgive this time. And it made the things much more complicated.  
  
Severus longed, yearned for forgiving, Harry knew it, and he knew precisely that he could never forgive himself first of all. Even if all the dead people he killed resurrected all of a sudden, and said him that they forgave him, he wouldn't forgive himself. And now here came Ron and... and...  
  
But Severus hadn't killed them for pleasure or for fun. He had killed because he had been ordered to - there had been a war and he had been commanded. And he had needed time to realise that he had chosen the wrong side.  
  
He had explained this to Severus several times, but he always had repeated:  
  
"It was my decision to join that bastard."  
  
He had many excuses, but Severus had never accepted any of them.  
  
"It was my decision."  
  
ONE wrong decision! One, he made to satisfy his parents. To be pleased and accepted.  
  
"You were a child."  
  
"I wasn't. I was adult enough to ponder and to make my decision. I did, and I did it wrong."  
  
And this time as the figures of Severus' victims began to gain their shape, to personalise in Harry's mind he started to understand. For him, it was all an ethical question. For Severus, it was the reality.  
  
And for Ron too.  
  
As he finally fell asleep his dream was eventful and uneasy. But still, he didn't have any nightmares.  
  
The next day was Friday.  
  
Harry was dreading going to lessons and facing Ron and Hermione, and even Neville, but he did it nevertheless. He tried to be invisible and he was more quiet than ever, however, the first class was History and professor Binns opened a dialogue with Harry again. He answered the ghost's questions half-heartedly and he was relieved when the lesson finished.  
  
He wanted to slip out of the classroom just as the lesson ended, but Hermione caught him and stopped him in the hallway.  
  
"Quiet?"  
  
Harry turned around timidly and gulped. He wasn't afraid of Hermione, he was afraid of seeing distrust and rejection in her eyes. But he didn't see them.  
  
"Parvati said you were looking for me yesterday."  
  
Oh, that was.  
  
"Yes. I just wanted to tell you that father has found the potion for Lupin and he will be released from the hospital in a few days. He even regained consciousness," he fixed his gaze firmly at his feet.  
  
"Oh, this is wonderful! I knew he would find it! He is a very good potions master after all, isn't he?"  
  
Harry was shocked. He would expect anything from Hermione, but this. Hermione was praising Severus after all she had heard the day before... Suddenly he managed to open his mouth.  
  
"When I was looking for you yesterday, I overheard your conversation with Ron."  
  
Hermione paled visibly.  
  
"You did?"  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
"And I decided to end our friendship. I don't want to hurt your relationship. I will avoid you as much as I can."  
  
"You won't and..."  
  
"I will. I'm fed up with these suspicions and judgements. Tell Ron, I won't meet you and study with you again and tell him he is right, I really wanted to gain his house's and his friendship, but now - I just don't want it any more. I don't mind what they think of me. Or what you think of me," he said and he practically ran away from the angry girl. He didn't want to start a quarrel and to wait for Ron to finish it. The only person Harry decided not to abandon was Neville, as he saw that he was the only person he opened up to. Harry cared for Neville since he heard of his home life and despite Harry's continuous and compelled secret-keeping they became sort of friends too.  
  
Harry saw, he wasn't that blind, that Hermione tried to catch him the whole day to Ron's immense annoyance, but Harry didn't give her the chance to speak. He used all the sneaking and snooping talents he had and managed to dodge her tries.  
  
The weekend was going to be a Hogsmeade weekend, but Severus told Harry after dinner that they would go to the St Mungo's instead and they would bring Lupin to Snape Manor to his friend's care. Harry was so happy that he even forgot his problems.  
  
"What was his problem precisely, Severus?" he asked the question now that Severus knew the answer as they were facing the hospital the following day.  
  
"His fellows nearly ate him," he smirked. "If he had been a human, he would have died. If he had been a mere werewolf he would have died. But he wasn't a mere werewolf, because he has been drinking the Wolfsbane Potion for years and this changed his organs' functions. So he survived, but barely. He was comatose and we needed a potion that could overcome the Wolfsbane's effects as well as the effects of the other werewolves' bites. It's not a simple potion, not at all, and Lupin will hate me, because he has to take it in every two or three days to be able to stay conscious. But in return he could shift his shape whenever he wants it."  
  
"Wow! It means that he has become an animagus!"  
  
Severus cast an annoyed glance to him.  
  
"Don't be stupid. He will never be just an animagus. He will be still a werewolf and he will transform every full moon like he used to. But all his transformations will be easier and he can do it willingly too."  
  
"Will he still need to take Wolfsbane?"  
  
"No, just the new potions. Isn't it enough?"  
  
"Bah. It is," Harry grinned.  
  
Then they discussed the ingredients and the brewing methods too, and Harry experienced surprised that he could understand the essence of Severus' words. Well, there were still gaps in his potions knowledge, but the last months of continuous study had its results on him. Even Severus made a short remark about it.  
  
"Your marks have improved beautifully. Those hours in the library with Miss Granger," he winked at Harry who blushed violently.  
  
"It was me and not her who studied all this and read all those books. Yes, she was there, but I was the one who learned it."  
  
"Oh, so you finally give up the 'I'm stupid and untalented' behaviour and accept the fact that you would do very fine in Ravenclaw."  
  
"I'm not a Ravenclaw!" Harry snapped.  
  
"But you could be," Severus shrugged and let the topic fall. They were standing in front of Lupin's bed.  
  
"Hello, Lupin. I'm glad to see you conscious again."  
  
"So, it's true, isn't it?" was Lupin's reaction. Sad and bitter reaction.  
  
"What?" Severus was taken aback.  
  
"Harry has died."  
  
Harry shifted uncomfortably and fixed his eyes firmly at the end of Lupin's bed.  
  
Severus nodded.  
  
"And I made peace with Bl... Padfoot," the Potions Master added quietly. He used Black's nickname, because he was still running from the law.  
  
Lupin sat up instantly gaping at them.  
  
"What?"  
  
"We were devastated over his death and we decided not to continue the old quarrels and not to cherish old dislikes. He lives at my Manor now with that little girl you saved."  
  
"Oh, Anne," Lupin smiled broadly. "What did Padfoot say as he heard her name?"  
  
"WE were stunned, Lupin," he assured him.  
  
"Oh," Lupin cast an apologising glance at the tall man. "Sorry. I didn't realise..."  
  
"It's alright."  
  
Lupin just now cast a thoughtful gaze at Harry. He greeted his ex-professor politely.  
  
"Good morning, sir."  
  
"I assume he is your son, Severus," as he was given a nod he continued. "He looks like your brother." He turned to Harry. "Remus Lupin."  
  
"Quietus Snape, sir."  
  
He paled.  
  
"Is it a joke, Severus?"  
  
"No. He is my son and I wanted to call him after the one worthy person of my family, Lupin. He attends Hogwarts now, but let's finish this conversation and go home to meet old friends, finally."  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
The whole day Harry could feel Lupin's eyes on him wherever he went. Harry could see that he wanted to speak to him, and he didn't have any objections against a conversation, but Anne had captured him the moment they entered the main gates of the manor and didn't leave him alone afterwards.  
  
"I'm attending a school here, at Snape, and Siri often accompanies me to school as Padfoot. He is very cute," Harry just blinked at this remark, Sirius as a dog was like the Grim and was anything but cute. "He even tried to teach me magic, but he couldn't. I'm not a witch, I said to him before, but he always says that a Black can't be a simple muggle. He is Black too, did you know it?" When Harry nodded she continued chatting merrily. "I said to you that I had a dog there, in my old house, and he is so like him! And he can do a lot of tricks with his wand, once he even turned my hair purple!" he giggled. "Like once Erica did to his father, when she was angry with him..."  
  
"Who is Erica?" Harry somehow managed to insert a question into Anne's monologue.  
  
"Oh, Erica was a girl from the street I lived. She is about your age," she smiled at Harry, "but she isn't as calm as you..."  
  
"Was she a witch?" Harry asked suddenly.  
  
Anne shook her head.  
  
"No. I think she just put something into his dad's shampoo..."  
  
Shampoo. Anne's mention of shampoo began a line of thoughts in Harry as he was listening to the endless speech of the girl. Anne didn't stop either for a moment and Harry didn't have the heart to interrupt her until evening when Sirius ordered Anne to bed to her utter dislike.  
  
"I want to stay with Quiet. He is so rarely at home!"  
  
"We will stay until tomorrow evening," Harry said to her. "Now, go to bed and be a good girl!"  
  
Anne sighed theatrically and went.  
  
Sirius took Severus to Fletcher to make some corrections on the Manor's defence system. Harry remained alone with the curious Lupin.  
  
"I didn't know Severus has a son," Lupin said as they were alone after the long day.  
  
"Nobody knew, sir," Harry shrugged slightly. "He kept it secret from everybody."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"To protect me."  
  
"From Vol... You-Know-Who?" asked Lupin.  
  
"You can say Voldemort, sir. I'm used to it. And I was raised by muggles. It doesn't bother me."  
  
"So you know about Severus' relation with the Dark Lord."  
  
"He has no relations with him, sir," Harry hissed angrily. "Certainly not after this summer."  
  
"I know," Lupin answered calmly. "I thought of his past. And his reputation."  
  
Harry shrugged.  
  
"I don't mind it. And I tell you, if I hadn't been aware of his reputation before, in the first day of school all the others would have made me know it."  
  
"Prejudices?"  
  
"And conclusions. And expectations. And hatred, mostly from Harry Potter's..." Harry interrupted himself. "It's not important."  
  
"Is it Ronald Weasley?"  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
"Well, it's not a surprise. I assume the Weasleys finally told their children what happened to the other part of their family and why they wanted so many children."  
  
"What?" Harry didn't understand the last sentence.  
  
"After the extermination of Molly's and Arthur's families, they decided to have a lot of children, to have a big family."  
  
Harry rubbed his forehead tiredly. Seemingly, the past determined the present. At his movement Lupin became more animated.  
  
"You remind me someone I couldn't place a finger on."  
  
"My uncle?" Harry guessed. He had been compared with his father almost always by the adults around him. But Lupin shook his head.  
  
"No. Certainly not. However, you are like him a lot. But your gestures..."  
  
Very well. Harry was grateful that he didn't have to stay with Lupin for long. He was sure his ex-professor would uncover his secret in no time.  
  
"You are Ravenclaw, aren't you?"  
  
"I wasn't sorted," Harry answered aloud. 'No. I'm Gryffindor,' he thought to himself.  
  
Lupin again cast on him his knowing gaze.  
  
"I see."  
  
That evening they didn't speak more. Harry somehow was sure Lupin had figured it out by now.  
  
He even told Severus his suspicion.  
  
"He knows."  
  
"No. He has feelings and suspicions, but he doesn't know."  
  
Harry couldn't sleep again. He was almost overtired, but sleep avoided him.  
  
"Something is bothering you," Severus said calmly after listening to Harry's stirring for two hours. "Did you have a nightmare? Or anything happened?"  
  
Harry was unsure about what to say. And how. And why. So he just lay in silence.  
  
"The same thing as two days ago?" the next question came.  
  
"Yes," Harry's voice was hoarse.  
  
Severus' tactics were extremely successful when it came to question him.  
  
"It was Ron."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"He offended you."  
  
"Well, no, not really. I've overheard a conversation between him and Hermione."  
  
"Ron spoke about me, didn't he?"  
  
"No," Harry lied. He wasn't ready to that talk. Not yet. "He said that I want to gain Harry's place and Harry's friends in order to sneak myself into the Light Side and betray them."  
  
Severus chuckled.  
  
"Well you want Harry's place, don't you? However I did never guess he would be the first to see the similarities between you and the old Harry."  
  
"Do you see them?" Harry asked curiously.  
  
"Yes, for me you are almost the same. But Albus said you have changed. I can't judge it. I see you every day, I saw you changing and rearranging your life, so I was accustomed your changes gradually. Albus on the contrary. He barely sees you, so for him your changes are enormous and abrupt. I had a hard time showing him it didn't happen all of a sudden."  
  
"But I didn't change," Harry looked stunned.  
  
"You did, Quiet. And not only your grades. Your whole behaviour. I think you're growing up," he smiled at him. "And it's lucky you did. I think this is the only reason Miss Granger hasn't uncovered you yet."  
  
"But if I'm really an adult, why am I running to you with my stupid problems? Why can't I solve them alone?"  
  
"You aren't running to me. On the contrary. You always do your best to solve them alone, however, you shouldn't. I'm here to help you."  
  
"Adults don't need help."  
  
At this point Severus burst into laughter. It wasn't a joyful or a happy laughter, it was rather sad.  
  
"Quite the contrary."  
  
Harry looked at him unbelievably.  
  
"You are fooling me. You never share your problems with me."  
  
"I don't think it would be too wise to do it. You are... er... my nephew and my step-son. I don't think it's good if a parent tells his problems to his child. I have my friend to talk to if I need to."  
  
Severus sighed. It was close. He almost let his feelings slip to Harry. Surely, the boy would have been freaked out if he had said 'my son'. Jealousy bit into his heart. He was jealous of Potter. And of Quietus. All the so-called fathers of Harry. And he was ashamed of his jealousy.  
  
Harry looked at him in confusion. He didn't know what Severus wanted to tell him first. He was too young? He was not trustworthy? Surely.  
  
Severus didn't trust him. Despite his words he still considered him a stupid boy, and his pathetic explanation about parents and children just made it worse.  
  
And there were Ron's words too.  
  
He was right when he had decided not to tell Severus those remarks. He could handle with them himself. He didn't need Severus' contempt on top of everything else.  
  
No, he wasn't right, he thought. Severus never had contempt for him. He always treated him as an adult. But then again why didn't he tell Harry his problems? Why did he shut him out? It was the matter of friendship again, Harry realised, but until now he always thought of his mates in this way: the mutuality of sharing things. It was his greatest problem with them - he couldn't share too much with them, so they couldn't become his real friends, except for, perhaps, Neville.  
  
He dragged the blanket up to his chin and wrapped tight around him. He felt sadness emerging in his chest, but he didn't allow himself to cry. Adults didn't cry. Adults.  
  
But he wasn't an adult.  
  
And Severus said Harry was.  
  
His confusion reached its limit. He didn't know how to think about himself any more.  
  
And he still didn't know what to think about Severus.  
  
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Next chapter: due time! (Wednesday)  
  
One of mine dirtiest exam is over. A as always;-) I have three remained. 


	10. Questions and answers

This is a new chapter, betaed by Barbara  
  
Sorry for the delay. It wasn't my fault, but of ff.net. I can't upload it for days.  
  
I hope you'll enjoy it, and I will have some rough time again: two exams (17th and 18th of Juny, so I think I will uload only one chapter until then).  
  
Will you leave me after the 21th of Juny?  
  
Thanks for all who reviewed.  
  
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Chapter 10 - Questions and answers  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
"Clean up the Spitters' place, and you are free," Hagrid smiled at him. "You can use magic," he added and left Harry alone with the lazy and indifferent animals.  
  
Harry frowned. Severus, as always, fulfilled his promise to give the proper detention, he could never skip any of them. He had already four detentions this year: the first for the potions lesson's explosion, the second for Ron's broken nose and this, the third for running in the corridor, and the fourth for Malfoy's well-deserved beating. Harry surprisingly realised that his behaviour tended to be more rule-breaking and aggressive than the past Harry's. He had never hit anybody before and now, in two months he'd had already two fights.  
  
He didn't like this tendency. If he wasn't enough cautious he really should go to St Brutus' to learn self-control. St Brutus - the thought of the school made him think of the Dursleys. He would probably never return to Privet Drive, he would never again see the family, which despised him to no end, which ignored him and treated him as a freak, a good-for-nothing boy. The contrast between them and Severus was so strong that Harry became ashamed for thinking that his stepfather wanted to shut him out of his life. Severus never shut him out. Severus, instead, let him in, loved him, cared for him, talked to him, bought him clothes, books, a brand new brewing set ('for advanced brewers and potions masters' was written on the box, Harry had even asked Severus if he had bought it for himself) and butterbeer and sweets every time they went to Hogsmeade, guarded his sleep, consoled him after his nightmares, helped him in his studies if he needed a tutor, and on the top of all he was proud of him in front of the whole school.  
  
He had been stupid, when he had thought that Severus had intended to shut him out.  
  
But there was something between them, which was unspoken and it disturbed Harry to no end.  
  
Harry adjusted his robes as he turned to clean the yard after he finished the stabling. The air was clear, but icy and acid-like cold wind blew from North. It was the last week of November.  
  
As he left the building his eyes caught a thin figure standing in the back of the yard. The man or woman was leaning on the fence tiredly, his head was hooded and lowered to the cold wood of the fence.  
  
Harry forgot his work and stepped to the exhausted figure cautiously clearing his throat.  
  
"Uhm. May I help you?"  
  
The head was lifted from the fence and now the eyes were on Harry. It was Janus' sister, Leah. As they looked at each other, Leah blushed violently and averted his gaze as fast as she could. Harry got embarrassed by a sudden, unsure feeling, much like that he had sensed the previous year, whenever he had seen Cho.  
  
"No, thanks," the girl whispered, but she didn't move.  
  
Harry, vaguely, tapped his legs and he didn't know what to say, how to go on with the conversation or whether he had to go on at all. But then Leah looked at him again.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she asked with a serious expression.  
  
"Cleaning the Spitters' yard," he shrugged. "Detention."  
  
This time the girl looked at him straightway, seemingly dumbfounded.  
  
"Detention? You?" She shook her head. "Who gave it?"  
  
"Professor Snape," Harry grinned.  
  
The girl's recoiling turned into a deep bewilderment.  
  
"You're joking."  
  
"Not at all," Harry's grin went ear to ear. "I beat up one of his precious Slytherins."  
  
"Oh, that!" Leah cracked a weak smile. "Janus told me. You had a fight with Malfoy about Zabini, hadn't you?"  
  
"I see you have spies amongst the Slytherins."  
  
"Just as my brother has his spy amongst the Hufflepuffs," this time Leah's smile widened into a genuine one. "And you have your secret agents in both Gryffindor and Slytherins."  
  
"Don't let out the Ravenclaws!" Harry chuckled.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Professor Flitwick is the head of that house."  
  
"He too works for you?"  
  
"Oh, yes. His life's main aim to persuade father to allow me into his house," Harry winked at her and leaning closer to her he whispered quietly. "The only thing I miss is a double agent in Hufflepuff."  
  
"Then I have to inform you, Mr Snape, you won't find anybody amongst us, who would work for you. Our house is well-known for our loyalty."  
  
"Loyalty, I understand. But to whom?"  
  
"I'm loyal to everybody I respect or love."  
  
"And how do you feel about your house?"  
  
"I respect its traditions," Leah said in a totally serious tone.  
  
"You are too earnest, aren't you?"  
  
"Always."  
  
Harry smirked evilly.  
  
"And what about that little giggling in the greenhouse during the Herbology classes?"  
  
Leah blushed again, her freckles were burning on her pale face, his deep blue eyes shone with chagrin. She lowered her head and her hair fell ahead her face, it was mahogany-coloured and silky.  
  
The next moment Harry stated to himself that she was beautiful. Then a moment later he became so uncomfortable with his feelings that he stepped back and stuttered shyly.  
  
"Sorry, I have to finish my job," and turning on his heels he left the girl alone.  
  
A soft noise stopped him. He looked around and he saw Leah climbing into the yard.  
  
"Would you mind if I help you?" she asked and Harry couldn't help but nod.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
He was still breathing erratically when he arrived home. He was grinning broadly and felt excited and full of energy so that he wanted to jump or run or beat somebody, anybody...  
  
Severus, on the contrary wasn't happy.  
  
"Tomorrow the aurors will come and check the students again," he said heavily. Harry paled and the previous happy feeling disappeared as if it had never been.  
  
"But Mr Patil will be here again, won't he?" Harry asked hopefully.  
  
"No," Severus shook his head. "He is abroad. He went to France to an international meeting."  
  
Harry trembled. It sounded very bad.  
  
When the aurors had checked the students in September Patil, as the Ministry's clerk had attended all the Slytherins' questioning, including Harry's, mostly for Severus' request. This way everybody had avoided the uncomfortable situations and the unnecessary rudeness. That had been the reason why Harry had passed the cheks so quickly.  
  
Harry stumbled to the chair and sank onto it.  
  
"So we can count on the worst..." he sighed. "And again the problem of my cuts. What should I tell them? Accident?"  
  
"Yes, I think that would be the best." The Potions Master looked at his hands wearily. "As we agreed last time."  
  
"Okay," Harry glanced at him intensely. "You are nervous, aren't you?"  
  
"Of course. They will molest my house as well as you. I want it to be over with."  
  
"So do I."  
  
The night after the bad news was dreadful again, full of fears, then nightmares, and while Harry calmed down enough to sleep normally he had a nasty vision too. As a result of it both he and Severus were dead on their feet the next morning. Harry could barely get dressed and even decided to miss the breakfast, because of the trembling of his hands. The first half of the day, however, passed in its normal way, the Gryffindor house was the last to be examined, and the fifth year's turn arrived after the Care of Magical Creatures in the afternoon. For that time Harry became calmer, he had lunch and even talked to Severus, who assured him about the aurors' relative kindness today.  
  
He was almost relaxed when it came to him. The examination took part in an empty classroom in the third floor, close to the Headmaster's office. They were waiting to their turn in the corridor, chattering, and the row moved on quickly. Seemingly, the aurors wanted to get through with it as fast as possible, so they only cast the Revelo spell, asked some idle questions and that was that.  
  
Harry yawned and felt half-asleep when, finally, he got in.  
  
Two aurors were sitting behind a desk in the shady room lightened only by a torch, which was set to shadow the sitting figures. One of them scribbling neatly on a piece of parchment, the other was sipping tea from a cup.  
  
"Name?" asked the scribbling man.  
  
"Quietus Snape," Harry answered obediently.  
  
The man lifted his gaze from the parchment and looked at him.  
  
Their eyes locked.  
  
Harry, again, was compelled to face with hatred, with pure, unconcealed hatred akin Ron's. Yes, Ron's, and it wasn't a mere chance.  
  
In front of him sat Percy, his mouth slowly curving into a sinister smile.  
  
"Snape," he repeated Harry's word.  
  
The other auror nearly dropped his cup in surprise. Harry recognised him too, he graduated one year before Percy, he was a Ravenclaw prefect in his seventh year, but Harry didn't remember his name.  
  
"Are you related to Severus Snape for instance?" the man asked him. Percy's eye flashed expectantly.  
  
Harry knew precisely what was about to happen.  
  
"Yes," he said resigned.  
  
"Our local Death Eater's son," whispered Percy to the other boy loud enough for Harry to understand.  
  
"My father is NOT a Death Eater," Harry hissed and narrowed his eyes dangerously.  
  
"Once a Death Eater always a Death Eater, Mr Snape," Percy frowned. "Your sleeves. Tuck them up. Now."  
  
Harry didn't like the ordering tone, but he didn't protest. It would be useless and he wanted to get out of the room as soon as possible. He looked at his arms expectantly. Now they seemed normal and flawless, but just as the Revelo would hit them, all the scars would become visible, clearly visible again. Harry hadn't seen them for three weeks, the last time was when Severus checked them one week after his vision with Avery. He sighed and lifted his head, expectantly.  
  
"Revelo," the ex-Ravenclaw said.  
  
Slowly, pink lines began to appear on his arms like the ink-drawings on the Marauders' Map after the use of the proper password. The only difference was that Harry's cuts didn't form even the perfect map of the London Underground as Dumbledore's famous scar above his left knee did let alone that of Hogwarts. His scars were mementos and reminders of more important things, which Harry received in Nightmare Manor: the importance of dignity, humanity, repression, forgetfulness, tradition, love and family; scars, which bound him to Voldemort like his other scar on his forehead, now hidden beneath his hair, to make him remember and didn't allow him to forget...  
  
"Where are these scars from?" Percy asked, his expression was unreadable. But his tone! Clear sadism.  
  
"It was a car accident. The wind-screen broke and fell on me."  
  
Harry himself wasn't sure that it sounded convincing enough.  
  
"When?" the next question snapped.  
  
"In the summer."  
  
"Really? They are healing surprisingly slowly!"  
  
Harry could hear the disbelief in Percy's voice. He lowered his head and pointed his eyes to the ground.  
  
"I was treated in a muggle hospital."  
  
Percy stepped to him.  
  
"Hold out your arm," the young auror ordered categorically.  
  
Harry sighed and did what he was ordered.  
  
"They seem to me rather new," a disdainful smirk appeared on Percy's face. "How long have you been cutting yourself?"  
  
Harry's eyes widened in realisation.  
  
"I'm not cutting myself. I'm not suicidal."  
  
"Aren't you? Let's see then. You said that windscreen fell onto you. I suppose you have other scars then."  
  
Harry's embarrassment grew into a shame.  
  
"I don't think it's your business," he moaned through his narrowed throat.  
  
"Remove your clothes!" Percy yelled aggressively.  
  
"No."  
  
"Remove them NOW or I will resort to violence."  
  
"You have no right to give me orders like this," Harry said and wondered if he really had known this boy previously. Well, Percy always had been narrow- minded and strict, but Harry didn't remember to see him aggressive or abusive. Perhaps because he had never been Snape's son to him previously, and Percy hadn't known about Snape's past either. Not to mention that Percy hadn't been an auror before, and the Ministry's training had the strength to corrupt anybody who wasn't human enough to resist the offered power to control the others.  
  
"I'm here the Ministry's representative and your father is a Death Eater. You are under suspicion of following his activity, so I can give you orders if I see it necessary and now I see."  
  
Harry folded his arms over his chest and lifting his head looked at Percy straightly.  
  
"I won't remove my robes. My father has not been a Death Eater for more than sixteen years and you can't accuse me..." he couldn't continue. A strong blow on his face sent him onto the floor. As he reached his hand to his mouth he felt something wet. Blood. He lifted his gaze in awe.  
  
Was this really the Percy he had known for years, whose family had been always like his own?  
  
What happened? What caused this sudden change?  
  
Harry shook his head to clear his vision, but he felt dizzy.  
  
"So? Do you remove your robes or I have to go on..." Percy hissed menacingly.  
  
Harry stood up and dusted his robes. Dignity, he reminded himself.  
  
"I won't. And I will report you to the Ministry," he said calmly.  
  
"Oh, will you? I'm happy to hear it. At least your case will be thoroughly examined."  
  
The blood ran away from Harry's face. No. He didn't need those examinations.  
  
"So. Remove your clothes now, or I will remove from you, but then you won't be able to wear them any more," Percy said and pointed his wand to him.  
  
Harry didn't move, just stared at Percy as firmly as he could in that situation.  
  
"Stupefy!" Percy said and the curse hit Harry on his stomach. He fell on his knees and felt numbly as the man pulled his robes through his head from him. He trembled. It was chilly in the room and he was kneeling exposed and half-naked in front of two curious and cruel pair of eyes.  
  
When Percy leaned closer and ran his hand down on a long cut, Harry groaned in disgust.  
  
"Don't touch me!" he hissed.  
  
"I can do anything I want to you," he turned to the other boy, "the cuts are new just as I suspected. Not older than a month."  
  
Harry got frightened. No, it couldn't be true! He would be uncovered in no time.  
  
"Explain. Now," Percy scowled at him, but Harry didn't answer. He didn't even open his mouth. He was out of ideas.  
  
"Do you have any more Veritaserum remained?"  
  
"Yes, however just a half of a vial. The Slytherins drank all the store."  
  
Now, Harry was in pure panic. He felt like a trapped animal, and he could still barely move because of the stunning curse. He gathered all his willpower and stood up.  
  
"I think my questioning is over," he said and made a step towards the door.  
  
"You are wrong," now all the two boys stepped toward him.  
  
A long fight began. Harry struggled to keep his mouth shut, the others wanted it to open and to pour the liquid into his throat. Harry kicked, pinched, hit them in self-defence, but they were much stronger and after a while he was laid out on the floor, his shoulders pinned painfully to the stones beneath him. Harry winced as the dirty, ice-cold stone pressed to his naked skin, but didn't open his mouth, even for an instant.  
  
Percy knelt on his chest while the other boy grabbed his jaw.  
  
Harry fought desperately. He felt his fate was getting closer. The vial was so close... and the hand on his cheeks slowly reached his aims too. Percy neared the bottle to his face. Then, with a sudden idea he swung his head ahead and with this movement knocked the vial out of the unsuspecting Percy's hand.  
  
The vial fell to the stone, and however, it didn't break, its contents run off deliberately.  
  
Then a door-creaking interrupted the unequal wrestling. Harry glanced hopefully at the entering man, but his faith faded as he saw him. It was the official auror, who guided the whole procedure.  
  
"What's going on here?"  
  
"Mr Snape here doesn't want to take the Veritaserum," the ex-Ravenclaw straightened. "And we tried to convince him. But he broke the last vial."  
  
"Idiots," the older man barked. "Move aside Mr Weasley. You should have stunned him and then pour the serum into his mouth. What was the question you wanted the answer?"  
  
"He contradicted himself when I asked him about his scars. He said they are at least six months old, but I estimate them one month, not more."  
  
The auror grabbed Harry's shoulder carelessly and dragged him up.  
  
Harry gave up the resistance. He shut his eyes and clenched his lips strongly.  
  
"Impertinent boy," he said angrily. Harry trembled in a sudden emotional pain. It was Severus' favourite game to call him impertinent boy or brat. His remark never hurt Harry. It was always connected to something good. Severus... He was certainly with his mistreated Slytherins now, Harry wondered and it felt right. In a little while he too could be with him listening to his soothing, calming words. "Answer Mr Weasley's question!"  
  
Never, Harry thought to himself. He would first die than to slip his secret to them.  
  
A slap clapped on his face and Harry staggered as he lost his balance, but otherwise he didn't react.  
  
The slap was followed by several others until the auror got bored seeing the fruitlessness.  
  
"Okay, boy, I will curse you if you don't answer."  
  
Harry took a deep breath to prepare for the curse, but he still didn't react. It was much worse than he calculated before. The old man was about to curse him. Severus said long ago that the Ministry's torturing tools weren't any better than Voldemort's.  
  
Harry felt as tears prickled his shut eyelids. He had done everything to avoid the Ministry's torture and now, here it came and all his efforts suddenly turned in vain. He lost his friends, his name, his past to keep himself away from it and he failed.  
  
These were his last thoughts before the Tormenta curse.  
  
And after some long moments of unbelievable agony the world went black.  
  
Harry fell onto the floor unconscious.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Neville shifted on his chair as he waited for Quietus to come out from the room. He was already in for twenty minutes and it began to disturb him. What was going on?  
  
Sometimes he glanced at Hermione who seemed at least as nervous as he was, and after a while she left his smugly smirking boyfriend and sat next to Neville. Neville cast a long, thoughtful glance at Ron. They were friends not so many months ago, but for now he almost hated the red-headed boy. The way he treated Quietus was scandalous. Quietus was a calm, quiet boy, like his name, who tried to avoid the center of the attention, but was always ready to help to anybody turning him for support or assistance, moreover, he did the thing Neville had been sure that nobody would: he softened the inhabitant, bitter potions master's sour and cruel demeanour. Neville still didn't like the dark, tall and sneering man, but sometimes, he managed to see his human side, mostly in the way he treated his son, and he changed his mind about the professor. Snape was a git, still, but wasn't insufferable anymore.  
  
He once was invited to have a drink with the two Snapes in Hogsmeade in the Three Broomsticks. He remembered his nervousness as he had made several efforts to convince Quietus about the plan's stupidity, but he had failed - and he had spent a rather pleasant two hours with them, mostly watching and enjoying their bickering in silence. They had been a perfect example of a father and son, he had noticed and in secret he also had envied their relation. He had always wanted a father, but he had never had, and his grandmother had never missed repeating to him how a disgusting, inhuman creature his father had been.  
  
Yes, Snape, the sneering git had changed visibly and Neville greeted these changes happily.  
  
He even came to terms with the Slytherin boy, Ares, who was Quietus' other friend. Ares' father was a Death Eater, now in the Ministry's new prison, in Liberty (it was another isle near to the Azkaban isle, which was out of use since the dementors joined You-Know-Who) after his magic was deprived from him (it was almost as serious punishment as the Dementors Kiss). The court had sentenced him to life imprisonment. Neville didn't know Ares' story, neither had Quietus told him, but instead Neville had read it in the Prophet. After the article the Slytherin boy seemingly was waiting for his despise and disgust, but in vain. Neville didn't mind their fathers, his own wasn't a brilliant human either. Some days later Ares joined him in a Care of Magical Creatures lesson, and since then they were in good terms. Neville sometimes wondered about Quietus' situation: he had two friends, a Death Eater's and an Auror's son, beautiful mixture!  
  
But Quietus now was still in the room, and finally it was Hermione who asked him.  
  
"What do you think they are doing with him?"  
  
Neville, of course, didn't know, but after his grandmother stories about the aurors' work he had a bad feeling. His nervousness just grew stronger as the old auror, one of his father's old friends entered the room.  
  
Hermione's eyes were wide in fear and solicitude for Quietus.  
  
"Neville, we have to do something," she said finally. "I'm afraid they are... hurting him."  
  
Neville blinked at her in disbelief.  
  
"Why would they hurt him? The aurors aren't hard with children, except for the Death Ea..."  
  
"Quietus is one of them," Hermione whispered so silently that only Neville heard it. The boy paled.  
  
"His father... you mean... but... he's a profes..."  
  
"He was, almost twenty years ago," Hermione explained in hurry. "He isn't any more, he was a spy even in the previous war, but the Ministry's people perhaps..."  
  
Neville was unable to move. Quietus was... Snape was... Bloody hell. THIS was the reason of the constant secret-keeping! And the eavesdropped conversation between Ron and Hermione... It made sense. Quietus' strange behaviour after it... And Neville was sure that even Ares didn't know about it. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. But... he was, he felt betrayed. He shared so many things with Quietus! And...  
  
But then again, it wasn't for Quietus to tell his father's secrets.  
  
Snape... a Death Eater. For a moment he hated the man again, with passion. The bloody, mean git! How did he dare to treat him as...?  
  
Then it came to his mind. Suspected. Ministry's dungeons. Tortures. His father.  
  
And now they were hurting Quietus. They were hurting the son for the father's sin.  
  
It wasn't right!  
  
The next moment he stormed out of the corridor. He ran to the gargoyle to call the Headmaster, but as he stood in front of the statue, he realised irritatedly that he didn't know the password.  
  
What should he do then?  
  
He had to tell Snape. But Snape was... Didn't matter. It was about his son and not him.  
  
He turned around and faced the dungeons. The corridors were empty, because it was the last lesson's time so that he could sprint without the danger of bumping into somebody, except, of course, Filch.  
  
Or better to say, Mrs Norris. Neville in his sprint couldn't notice in time the cat staying in the middle of a shady hallway, before he had already stumbled against her. The cat meowed painfully and hissed at Neville, but he didn't care. He stood up and raced towards his goal. By the time he reached the dungeons, he realised that Filch was yelling and running after him.  
  
"Hey, boy! Stop or you will be expelled before dinner! How dare you kick Mrs Norris! Stop! Stop, you impertinent...!"  
  
He didn't hear anymore, because he reached the potions classroom's door and flung it open.  
  
A very annoyed potions professor stood face-to-face with him.  
  
"Mr Longbottom! Since this is a..." but he couldn't go on.  
  
"Quietus!" Neville shouted nervously. "He is in the room for forty minutes..."  
  
He didn't need to continue.  
  
"Class dismissed," Snape hissed as he galloped out of the room. He swept away the protesting Filch and trod on Mrs Norris' tail in his hurry. Neville followed him.  
  
"They called him in forty minutes ago, and even Mr Bamberg joined them twenty or so minutes ago... I was worried... They won't hurt him, will they?"  
  
"Mr Longbottom, please, fetch the Headmaster, instead of stuttering stupidities," Snape barked interrupting Neville's nervous babbling.  
  
"I've tried. But I don't know the password," he said in a complaining voice.  
  
"The password is Fudge. Now hurry!"  
  
But Neville didn't need to call the Headmaster. They met precisely in front of the classroom. The two adults glanced at each other and they shouted in the same time:  
  
"Aperio!"  
  
"The stronger version of Alohomora," Hermione explained to Neville.  
  
The door swung open with a loud boom.  
  
"Expelliarmus!" was the next curse they cast, then Snape ran into the room first. Dumbledore stepped up to the three aurors. He was about to open his mouth, when Snape cried from the corner.  
  
"He's unconscious, Albus!"  
  
By this time both Neville and Hermione were standing in the door peering inside. What they saw almost stopped their hearts. Quietus was lying on the floor, half-naked, his pale skin criss-crossed by scars and cuts, his face bloody, his hair dampened by sweat. To their surprise Snape sat on the dirty, cold floor and lifted the boy into his lap. His sallow face was paler than ever, his dark eyes were glittering strangely. Tears? He didn't seem to notice anything except for his son, so Neville, after a short glance at him and at the Headmaster went to fetch Madam Pompfrey.  
  
"What happened?" was the nurse's first question. When Neville told what he saw, the woman grabbed only some rolls of sterile gauze and a bottle of calming potion, nothing else. Neville was amazed at this, but he didn't say a word, just followed the grumbling nurse in silence.  
  
"Aurors, wonderful... Three children in the Infirmary, and now the fourth... Good job...! ...Spanish Inquisition..."  
  
For the time they reached the classroom, Neville learned that that day three Slytherins (a first year and two third years) ended up in the Infirmary with slight shock and Madam Pompfrey suspected that Quietus had a shock as well. Neville doubted the nurse's conclusion, but he didn't dare to say a word in protest: considering his frequent incidents, his relationship with the woman was intense and vital, so he decided not to oppose.  
  
She entered the room without glancing at the three aurors, who now were having a ferocious quarrel with the Headmaster. She crouched down next to the potions master and to Neville's surprise she poured the half of the bottle into the dazed man's throat. Just when the professor's grasp eased on Quietus she examined the boy.  
  
"He refused to answer a simple question!" the old auror was furious. "He even contradicted himself!"  
  
"What did you ask him?" the headmaster asked menacingly.  
  
"About his scars. He first told that he had a car accident in the summer, then I saw that those injuries aren't older than a month!" it was now Percy who explained, his arms crossed in nervousness. He wasn't used to arguing with Dumbledore.  
  
The Headmaster turned to the nurse.  
  
"Well then, I think we can ask the professional about those scars. Poppy?"  
  
As the nurse lifted her head Neville could see the obvious shock in her face. She even needed some time to regain her ability to speak.  
  
"His... his scars..." she cleared her throat, "yes, he got them in the summer. But he had a potions accident three weeks ago, which caused his cuts er... scars to open again."  
  
Neville's eye widened in surprise. There weren't any potions accident three weeks ago!  
  
But Dumbledore nodded.  
  
"Please, continue, Poppy. What's the problem now?"  
  
"Slight bodily harm, some bruises and chapped lips caused by several slaps and a greater general inner commotion caused apparently by a Cruciatus or a Tormenta," she said and lifted his eyes to the Headmaster.  
  
"Check their wands, Headmaster," she said darkly.  
  
"Which one is yours, Mr Bamberg?" Dumbledore's voice was icy and sharp. In the meantime Snape lifted Quietus and with Poppy's company they headed towards the Infirmary.  
  
"The oak," the auror barked. "And it's not important to check it. I cast the Tormenta on the boy."  
  
"A Tormenta? Just because he was ashamed of his scars?" Neville cried in utter disbelief.  
  
"Mr Longbottom, please," the Headmaster surprisingly smiled at him, "this is between me and these gentlemen. You are not supposed to be here. And thank you for your help."  
  
Neville nodded and left the room closing the door behind him.  
  
"They cast a tormenting curse on a child," Hermione shook her head. "They're mental. I'm not surprised Madam Pompfrey was so shocked."  
  
Neville scratched his neck nervously. They were alone with the girl, but he leaned closer to her nevertheless.  
  
"Hermione, Quietus' scars are really one month old! I saw them once when we cleaned up the potions room after a tutoring session some weeks ago. They were red and fresh-looking... I thought then that he was cutting himself, but now I could see that he is totally covered with them..."  
  
"I don't know, Neville," Hermione answered slowly. "Perhaps you saw them after that potions accident..."  
  
"There wasn't any accident!"  
  
"How do you know it? His father is the school's potions master and in that time they were experimenting with various potions ingredients for professor Lupin's potion. He could have had ten accidents in that time without you noticing it!"  
  
"But then... why did he say he didn't want me to tell professor Snape about them? And why didn't he just tell me the truth?"  
  
Hermione closed her eyes in thought.  
  
"I think I know the reason, Neville. He is worrying about his father. I think he was abused as a child and now he is afraid that if somebody figure this accident out, his father will be blamed for it, and he has to return his family."  
  
Neville paled transparently.  
  
"He was abused..."  
  
"Remember his fainting in the defence class? I think it was a straight consequence of the previous abuse."  
  
They just stood in silence for a moment. Then Hermione sighed.  
  
"Let's go to the Infirmary then."  
  
The sight, which waited for them in the Infirmary was more astonishing than anything else they had seen that day. Snape was sitting on Quietus' bed, his son on his lap; he rocked the apparently conscious and sobbing boy calmly and in the meantime he argued with the nurse.  
  
"Of course I will bring him home. I won't sleep here and he doesn't need your assistance anymore. He will be fine."  
  
"But Severus..."  
  
"No, Poppy. I will take him home."  
  
"The after-effects of the curse..."  
  
"I can handle them. I brew your potions if I remember correctly and I know precisely what to give him in this state."  
  
"But your classes..."  
  
"I don't mind my classes. Albus will take care of them if he wants. I want to be with him. He had a strong emotional shock. I won't leave him alone, and surely not here! What do you want?" he snapped angrily all of a sudden at the two standing in the doorframe.  
  
Neville jumped back in alarm.  
  
"We came to see Quietus," Hermione answered the question.  
  
Snape nodded.  
  
"I think he fell asleep," he lowered the boy onto the bed and tucked the blanket around him. "Can we go out? I don't want to wake him."  
  
They nodded silently. When they were already in the hallway, Snape turned to them.  
  
"Thank you for your help, and especially yours, Mr Longbottom," he sighed. "However, perhaps if you had acted a bit faster..."  
  
Neville gulped and lowered his head.  
  
"I... I just... I didn't think until... until Hermione said..." he stuttered, but finally he didn't dare to finish the sentence.  
  
"Mr Longbottom?" Snape seemed impatient. "What did she say?"  
  
"I told him what I saw in the Infirmary last year. Your arm, I mean," Hermione blushed and pointed his gaze on her toes.  
  
"Then I remembered what my grandmother used to say about my father and I got frightened that they will hurt Quietus," Neville suddenly finished it.  
  
Snape stared at them appalled.  
  
"So, you know about me being a Death Eater and you decided to help Quietus nevertheless." They nodded.  
  
"Why?" Snape's face now was unreadable.  
  
"He is not his father," Neville shrugged and after he realised what he said and to whom he flushed and shut his mouth.  
  
Snape, however, just chuckled quietly without any comment on Neville's remark.  
  
"And we figured out that you were a spy..." Hermione added, but Snape interrupted her.  
  
"Who...?"  
  
"Harry," Hermione lowered her head. "Dumbledore said to him that you were the Light Side's spy."  
  
"I see..." Snape nodded and turned to the door. "Thank you again. And Mr Longbottom," he waited until Neville looked at him, "I don't know what your grandmother used to tell you. But you are not your father either. Now I just want to ask one thing," the potions master smiled a little. "Next time when you are fighting a boggart, don't dress me in that insufferable, old witch's robes, if it's possible."  
  
Neville was taken aback for a minute. Snape - smiling at him and actually telling him a joke? The world was surely about to end. But he regained his composure in an instant and grinned broadly.  
  
"Well, sir, I don't think my boggart will wear your shape anymore. Next time, I think I will dress my grandmother in your robes. Is it alright?"  
  
"It's a deal, Mr Longbottom."  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
The headstone was old and worn and full of crevices, the name was barely readable, but Harry knew what was written on it.  
  
***  
  
Quietus Snape  
  
1960-1979  
  
***  
  
"Nothing else?" he turned to Severus.  
  
"Nothing. He didn't like stupid inscriptions."  
  
They were just standing there looking at the headstone in thought. The sharp, cold wind waved their cloaks (Harry wore one like Severus') and nipped their faces, but they didn't seem to notice it.  
  
Harry was totally lost in his thoughts. It was his father's grave. And he couldn't feel grief, just a slight disappointment over the fact that he had been never given the chance to meet him, as much as his father had never been given a chance even to know him.  
  
He sighed and leaned onto the grave. He pulled off his gloves and swept the snow from the foot of the headstone. He put the candles he had bought in Hogsmeade previously on the stone.  
  
"Incendio," he lighted them.  
  
When he stepped back to Severus, the older man suddenly embraced him, wrapped his arm around him so tightly that for a moment Harry believed he would crush him.  
  
"Sometimes I'm so terribly afraid of losing you," the man whispered trembling. "Please, be more careful. You scare me to death."  
  
"I'll try it, Severus," Harry mumbled through the robes. Severus' open display of feeling alarmed him. "Is there anything wrong?"  
  
"No, just... I looked at the numbers. Quietus lived only 19 years. You are almost 16. I want you to bury me next to him, if I die. Alright?"  
  
"Don't die yet, please. I can't handle it."  
  
"I'm not planning to die in the nearby future, I just wanted to say that I don't want to bury you."  
  
"You won't."  
  
After a half an hour they moved on to the Potter family's tomb.  
  
***  
  
Harold Winston Potter  
  
Armena Helen Potter  
  
James Alfred Potter  
  
Lilian Potter  
  
Harold James Potter  
  
***  
  
"Names and numbers. This is what remains after we die?" Harry's question was shaking and unsure.  
  
"No," Severus shook his head. "No. Much more. There is you, for example. You, who remained after their death: Quietus', James', Lily's and the old Potters'."  
  
"Is it worth all those deaths?"  
  
"I can tell you only my opinion, Quiet. My highly selfish opinion. I think that the fact you exist is worth everything."  
  
"Are you serious?"  
  
"Don't dare to ask it again. Don't dare to doubt it. Do you understand?"  
  
"I don't dare to understand."  
  
They faced Hogwarts after a while.  
  
"Thank you, Sever."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For showing me. For sharing me."  
  
"It's your family."  
  
"And through me it's yours too."  
  
Severus nodded.  
  
"However, I never believed it that a Potter would be a family for me."  
  
"Not to mention being related to a certain potions master..."  
  
"It's so hard?" Severus' voice sounded concerned.  
  
"You're mental. Of course not. Well, and I owe you another thanks."  
  
Severus arched an eyebrow.  
  
"For saving me from Poppy," Harry explained.  
  
The man sighed heavily.  
  
"She knows the secret."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"She told me today. To show you the Potter's tomb as well."  
  
"But... how?"  
  
"She saw your cuts. I think she recognised you suddenly. I'm sure she even did a blood test to check her theory."  
  
"Aren't you worried?"  
  
Severus shrugged.  
  
"Not really. It's better this way. She won't tell it anybody, and she could give you proper medical help if you need it in the future."  
  
"So, we are four now."  
  
"Yes, we are four."  
  
*************************************************************************** 


	11. Holiday and breaking news

Betaed by Barbara  
  
Warning: rating went on: RATED PG-13  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Chapter 11 - Holiday and breaking news  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
"I still cannot believe it, Quietus! They didn't even touch me even though they knew precisely what my dad was! Just threw that bloody Revelo on me, and that was it!" Ares waved his head in disbelief, his gaze pointed at Harry.  
  
It was the first afternoon when Harry was released from bed. It was the same Sunday's afternoon when Harry and Severus went to visit the cemetery, and the next day would be the his first schoolday since the aurors' questioning. So Harry suspected there would be some more conversations like this in the following days.  
  
Neville shifted and didn't dare to look at his friends. Harry sighed.  
  
"It was something... personal. Against my father."  
  
"Rubbish," Ares hit the table with his fist. "I think that Weasley git isn't normal, he was always a stupid, big-headed bookworm, but some slight harassing in past potions classes couldn't have such a bad effect on him so as to cause him to beat you!"  
  
"No. It wasn't the potions classes. It's another thing, but I can't tell you," Harry cast an apologising look at him. "It's..."  
  
Ares stopped Harry with a light touch on his arm. Harry flinched uneasily. Ares quickly drew his hand back and leaned forward.  
  
"So what Ronald Weasley said about our fathers is true, isn't it?"  
  
Harry looked at him warily.  
  
"I can't see what your point is."  
  
"In the first Care of Magical Creatures lesson he belittled our fathers. Not only mine, but yours too. Is it because both are..." he gulped. "You know what I'm thinking about."  
  
Harry narrowed his eyes.  
  
"Severus is not a De..."  
  
"Shh, Quiet," Neville hissed worrieldy. "We aren't alone in the library." Then he turned to the Slytherin. "Yes and no. His father was a spy on You- Know-Who until he was exposed this summer. But the Ministry isn't anything but a branch of brainless, biased idiots, and this goes to the Aurors too. Only more so."  
  
Harry looked at Neville stunned. He knew. But how? Meanwhile understanding dawned on Ares' face.  
  
"So this was your father's reason to keep you away from me!" He furrowed his brows in thought. "And perhaps he had some personal grudges against my father after his summer experiences. Well, until this point I didn't understand why and how was he captured alongside Potter. He certainly tried to save our world's precious saviour..."  
  
Harry paled, Neville, however turned red in anger.  
  
"Don't da-dare to sp-speak about Harry li-like that!" the round-faced boy stutterer his eyes glittering dangerously. "It wasn't so-something he ever wanted! And he never behaved like that! It's only your Slytherin prejudice, which made you think about him this way!"  
  
To Harry's utter surprise Ares didn't argue. On the contrary, he leaned forward and elbowed at the desk.  
  
"Alright, I understand. Then care you tell me how he was?"  
  
Neville nodded and Harry wanted to disappear in chagrin.  
  
"You never talked to him, did you?" Neville asked.  
  
"I was never interested in him," he grinned and shrugged. "I assumed he was the Gryffindor version of Malfoy."  
  
The realisation hit Harry full strength. He didn't even hear Neville's words about him anymore. He and Malfoy - alike? But he had never been such an arrogant idiot, a slave-keeper, a pampered and cruel git as Malfoy!  
  
"Why do you think... he was like Malfoy?" he asked suddenly interrupting Neville's tale. He almost said 'I was like Malfoy'.  
  
Neville shut his mouth and looked at Ares who shrugged again.  
  
"Because of his worshippers and his cronies, and because he was always so bloody self-conscious. And he was as biased towards the Slytherins as Malfoy is towards the Gryffindors. He never even noticed us, the normal Slytherins in the classroom, only Malfoy, and he never made any attempt to know us or at least to introduce himself."  
  
"Well, this goes for almost all of the Slytherins and Gryffindors," Neville added quietly. "I can't recall if I ever saw you opening a conversation with one of us."  
  
"Times like this I'm glad I wasn't sorted," Harry opened his mouth to avoid a possible quarrel. "This way everybody can hate me because who I am and not because of the house I belong to."  
  
"Or because of who your father is," Ares can't suppress a grin.  
  
"Oh, well... But having professor Snape as your father has its advantages too," Harry winked at them. "Anyway, the headmaster said that I won't be examined alone any more. He or father will be there with me. He even reported the aurors' behaviour to the Ministry that they used a tormenting curse on a student."  
  
"It's good news!" cheered Neville. "Hermione was already worrying about you..."  
  
Harry's face darkened.  
  
"And what about Weasley? How does he support his girlfriend's worry?"  
  
Neville cast an unsure glance at Ares, then he sighed.  
  
"I think none of the Gryffindors would ever tell you the story and certainly not Hermione... But that day, after we returned from the Infirmary, there was a fight in the Gryffindor common room. A very... disgusting fight, I must say. It was Ron who began it. He yelled at Hermione and me and called us traitors. Then the whole house joined the quarrel and..." Neville massaged his temples in distress, "Ron said that your father is a Death Eater and a traitor, and that you are his agent in the Gryffindors... Bloody hell. There was such a deep silence that I thought I turned deaf. I couldn't say a word either. Then, in the deep silence Hermione told Ron that he is just a selfish child or something like that, but Ron snapped at her and he said that she is falling for you, Quietus... then she slapped Ron on the face and said to him that that was enough and it was over too. It happened four days ago. Since then I haven't seen them together."  
  
Harry's face turned to a strange, greenish colour.  
  
"She broke up their relationship?" he asked Neville shakily.  
  
"It seems so..."  
  
"And now the whole Gryffindor know about dad..." Harry covered his face into his palms. His shoulders trembled. "And they think I'm dating with Hermione too... And she left Ron because of me..."  
  
"That idiotic Weasel git..." Ares groaned through his clenched teeth.  
  
"Calm down, mates. I'm sure the greater part of the Gryffindors thinks that Ron was exaggerating about him. Everybody knows how much he hates Snape and you," Neville said them smoothingly.  
  
"But if even you, Neville, could figure out that he wasn't exaggerating, then I suppose everybody knows it too," Harry couldn't help but snap at him. But Neville didn't mind his tone.  
  
"No. I knew it for sure only because Hermione told me when you were... questioned and we decided to find an adult to help," he confessed. "And later Snape confirmed Hermione's words."  
  
"Severus deliberately confessed to you that he..." Harry was totally appalled.  
  
"Yes. And asked me not to dress him again in my grandmother's robes if I accidentally run into a boggart..."  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
"You are starting to be softer on the students. What about your reputation?" Harry asked when he heard Severus entering the room that night.  
  
"I thought you were already asleep," he grumbled in response.  
  
"I was waiting for you."  
  
"You could visit me in my lab in the afternoon."  
  
"You hate being disturbed when you are working."  
  
"Hell, yes," a loud yawn, "but you can disturb me whenever you want. Better than waiting for me instead of sleeping. And what was that remark about my reputation?"  
  
"Neville confessed that you smiled at him and even told him a joke."  
  
"What will be my punishment for this?" Severus turned to his stomach. "But tell it fast before I fall asleep."  
  
Harry didn't answer, just sighed. Severus suddenly became animated.  
  
"Did anything happen?"  
  
"I'm afraid of tomorrow's classes," Harry said weakly. "Ron told the whole Gryffindor house about your past. I can't imagine their reaction. I don't want them to hate me again. I don't want them to despise you either. And I don't want to start everything over again. I'm sick of these restarts."  
  
Severus reached out an arm and sneezed Harry's shoulder kindly.  
  
"You don't have to restart everything, Quiet. You have Neville and Hermione in Gryffindor house and they won't leave you, and perhaps the same goes for Mr Finnigan. You can't lose Ron even more, and the others' sympathy isn't so vital. As for me, I don't mind what they are thinking of me or of my role so you don't have to bother yourself with my reputation or acceptance."  
  
"But I want them to accept you!" Harry yelled desperately.  
  
"They won't. Not everybody, at least. Your friends accept me, isn't it enough?"  
  
Harry mumbled something under his breath.  
  
"Was it a 'no'?" Severus asked and when Harry didn't answer he reached out again to Harry's bed and poked his side playfully.  
  
"Yes. No," Harry moaned and moved away from the tickling finger.  
  
"Your vocabulary amazes me," he said sarcastically, but he turned to serious again. "Listen, Quiet. Your acceptance is absolutely enough for me. Absolutely." He yawned again. "It's much more than I have for years, anyway." Another loud yawn joined his. "Now go sleep. I'll be here if something's wrong."  
  
"G'night, dad."  
  
Heavy silence fell onto the room.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
The whole morning, Harry struggled to avoid Severus. He still was embarrassed by his stupid slip of tongue the night before, and he had absolutely no idea how to react if Severus called him to account or if he just asked him if he had intended the address. Moreover, the whole day was about to be one of the worst since the beginning of September, Harry realised just as they entered the Great Hall in the morning.  
  
There was a sudden silence and almost every head turned toward them. Harry paled, but Severus' face wore its usual emotionless mask. The teacher cast a blank glance at the staring students and sat down while Harry made his way to Ares. From the corner of his eyes he saw as some gazes followed him, but he purposefully ignored them.  
  
"I will kill the Weasel git, I promise," these were Ares' first words to him.  
  
Harry just shrugged, but inside he felt grateful for his words. As he lifted his eyes, he could see that several Slytherins were looking at him expectantly, even Malfoy's eyes met his for a short moment.  
  
He still couldn't eat properly, and the previous days' events didn't help to recover his appetite. Just the contrary. So after some bites he gave up and nearly fled from the hall.  
  
He waited until the last moment before he went to Transfiguration. He entered the room together with the professor and fixing his eyes to the floor he hurried to sit next to Neville. The whole lesson passed in silence, but when McGonagall dismissed them, he waved at Harry.  
  
"Mr Snape, please."  
  
Harry stopped and strode accross the teacher's desk.  
  
"Yes, madam?"  
  
"I've heard what happened in the Gryffindor common room, and your father said that you know about it too."  
  
Harry just nodded.  
  
"Now, I'm sure you feel uncomfortable with the Gryffindor fifth year, so I thought we can change your time-table and you can attend classes with another house, if you wish."  
  
Harry didn't answer immediately. Would it be any better if he decided to join the Hufflepuffs? Or the Ravenclaws? Now, he wasn't as uncomfortable with the Raven house as he had been before, but was it necessary? To change, to begin over? Stupidity.  
  
"I don't think it would be easier, madam. And I feel alright with the Gryffindors."  
  
"Very well, Mr Snape. I just wanted to help."  
  
"Thank you, madam," Harry smiled slightly and followed his mates to the next lesson. In the hallway Hermione was waiting for him.  
  
Harry's smile became forced.  
  
"Hey, Hermione I said I won't date you if Weasley left you," he said playfully, but his tone was bitter.  
  
"You don't need to. I'm still dating Ron," Hermione shrugged and cast a reassuring look at Harry. "We just have a short break in our relationship."  
  
Harry arched an eyebrow.  
  
"Really?" when Hermione nodded he went on. "I'm happy to hear it. I don't want you to break up with Ron er... Weasley just because of me."  
  
Hermione looked at him, her eyes swirling with anger.  
  
"What he did is almost unforgivable, Quiet. He had no right to say those words in front of the whole house, and if I had decided to break up with him, it wouldn't be just because of you. This display made him less trustworthy in my eyes. He knew precisely that your father was a spy for years. It was only vengeance what made him say those words and made him act as a git since he met you. And there are times when you must lie your vengeance aside, and this time is one of them. Your situation is hard enough without his stupid teasing, not to mention professor Snape's," Hermione shook his head. "And he certainly had no right to say anything about the two of you after all that his brother and his colleagues did to you."  
  
Harry shut his eyes and sighed quietly. He didn't want to recall those memories now.  
  
"Let's go now or we will be late for the next class," he said finally.  
  
The next days disproved Harry's fears. Most of the Gryffindors ignored Ron's biased remarks, and almost everybody agreed that even if Snape was a Death Eater, his son hadn't deserved the aurors' treatment. The tension in the Potions classes was higher, but except for Ron, nobody showed animosity towards Harry. Not even Leah, who turned red every time she saw him, but smiled at him nevertheless.  
  
"She has a crush on you," Neville noticed in a Herbology class and Harry just shrugged.  
  
"She has an awful taste then," Harry pretended to be indifferent, but inside he felt warm and strange.  
  
He even decided to buy something for the girl for Christmas, when he went to Hogsmeade the next Saturday. This time he wanted to go alone, but the twins, again, caught him leaving and joined him  
  
"Hey, Quietus, we want to assure you that we still think of Ron as being a stupid git," George smirked widely.  
  
"And this goes for Percy as well," Fred nodded. "But we hope that you won't reject us just because of our family members' enormous stupidity."  
  
Harry cast a serious glance at him.  
  
"You know that Ron is right about my father," he answered quietly. "He and Percy had every right to hate him and..."  
  
"Perhaps they have right to hate your father, but you are not your father, Quietus," Fred interrupted him. "It was obvious from the very first moment we saw you. And Snape isn't such a bad guy either. We are sure if there were problems with him, neither Dumbledore, nor the Ministry would let him teach. And Mum and Dad even told Percy, when he reported to the family about Snape in the summer, that the things Percy read in the files were confessed under hard physical and emotional pressure which makes its veracity questionable, and even they are true, they had happened more than fifteen years ago, and Snape had done a lot of noble things after that. He changed sides willingly, he saved a lot of lives and he tried to save Harry too."  
  
"Yes, and Mum said that Snape paid for it up the hilt," George added. "He lost all his family, his parents and his brother, he couldn't raise you, he even was in Azkaban for six months."  
  
"Not to mention that four months he spent in the Ministry's prison," Fred sneered bitterly. "When I think of the hour you spent with three aurors, I get sick. And he was compelled to spend months there..."  
  
"He said that the Ministry was worse than Voldemort's treatment," Harry whispered, his eyes pointed to the ground.  
  
None of them spoke for long. They were walking in silence.  
  
"Well, sorry," Fred said finally, "but I have things to attend here. Angelina is waiting for me in the Three Broomsticks..."  
  
"Go then," George said. "I don't want her to switch from you to me."  
  
"Idiot," Fred grinned and left them.  
  
"Where now?" Harry asked finally.  
  
"Apothecary and buying gifts?"  
  
"Right," Harry answered. Perhaps he could buy some gift even there. To have a potions master in the family meant that he could find gifts even in the Apothecary.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Harry locked the gifts in his desk and leaned back contently. He finally had found perfect gifts for everyone he wanted to give something: a rather large and meticulous encyclopaedia on Arithmancy for Hermione (he had to fight against his own temptation to keep the book for himself), a large, illustrated tome on rare plants for Neville and an enchanted diary for Ares, because he still was nearly unable to share his thoughts and problems with others, because Harry and Ares hadn't talked about Ares' family problems since that fateful night, when Harry had ended up hurting Severus, and Harry thought he could share his secrets at least with the diary. It was not like Tom Riddle's diary: it was a psychologically enchanted book, which helped its user to get through his or her problems. He had bought some 'normal', muggle games and a lot of magic sweets for Anne, and some books for Sirius and Remus.  
  
He had spent a lot of time wondering about Severus' present and he had been about to give up on the thinking and buy only rare potions ingredients and some books, but his eyes caught a beautiful clock in a shop. His eyes had been glittering in excitement when he had explained the assistant what he had wanted, and it had taken almost two hours to get it, but it had been worth waiting. He smiled as he slipped the clock next to the books.  
  
He was waiting for Christmas.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
For the first time in his life, Harry felt at home - at his home, with his own family. They were sitting around the table in the dining room of Snape Manor: Lupin, Black, Anne, Fletcher, Severus and him, they all were talking civilly, almost friendly with each other, the quiet buzzing of the conversations surrounded and dazed Harry, but he didn't mind. It was the best daze, which suggested safety and enveloped him like an embrace. He even had an appetite and ate normally, however the amount of food he consumed didn't still reach the level before the captivity.  
  
"Uncle Severus said that you are the best student in the school."  
  
Harry was sitting next to the chattering Anne, but he didn't really pay attention to her, he tried to listen to Sirius and Severus, who were talking about the aurors and their unsupportable behaviour, but this sentence made him look at Anne in awe.  
  
"What?" he asked wide-eyed.  
  
Anne smiled broadly.  
  
"Yesterday uncle Severus asked me about my studies and marks, and he said he expected me to be the best, like you are in that school of yours."  
  
"He talked to you?" Harry asked curiously. "How?"  
  
"Remmy had an idea to give me potions in order to make me able to use some magic. Not perform, just use. So he said that there is a potion, which is able to do this to me and he said that uncle Severus is a potions master and he can do it for me. I went to him and we talked. He even took blood from my finger and I didn't cry!" she showed proudly his bandaged index finger to Harry. "And I told him, that he doesn't have to worry about me. I have top marks in every subject." She leaned closer to Harry. "Is he always so serious?"  
  
"He is a teacher, Anne. Teachers are generally serious."  
  
"No," she shook her head, her ponytails waved around her face. "I have a lot of teachers, but they aren't as strict as him. I even thought to turn his hair purple or rose to make him laugh, but Remmy said that I can't do that without magic. However, Erica did..."  
  
Harry suddenly remembered their conversation.  
  
"Erica was that girl from your street."  
  
"Yes. But she didn't live there. She said she lived in America with her parents, but her grandparents lived on our street. She spent only the holidays with them. However, her grandparents were very kind people. They said that Erica and her parents moved to America when Erica was a baby."  
  
Harry nodded absentmindedly. He caught again some words of the adults' conversation: they were talking about Harry. He shifted in embarrassment. He really didn't want everybody to know about his encounter with the aurors, but through Fletcher, whose best friend was Mrs Figg, as Harry had learned some days ago, they knew already about it, they were asking for the details, and sometimes cast a thoughtful glance at Harry, who did his best to seem indifferent under their scrunity.  
  
He hoped strongly that he wouldn't have to talk about the events personally, but Lupin stopped him after the dinner ended and they somehow remained alone in the dining room.  
  
"The last person Severus seemed to love, to really love, was his brother - before you," Lupin said suddenly.  
  
Harry halted in movement. He was about to stand up when the words caught him off guard. He sank onto his chair again and turned his eyes at Lupin.  
  
"Why did you say that? I think it's obvious. I'm his son,"  
  
Lupin had been acting very strangely since he had left the hospital. Was he suspecting something?  
  
"I'm just glad," Lupin put his elbows on the table and put his head on his fist, his gaze not leaving Harry for a moment. "He was terribly alone. Perhaps because he had been missing you too. And I think he shares much more with you than he did with his brother."  
  
The last sentence was too sudden and unexpected, a continuation of a previous part of their conversation. Harry now looked at him openly.  
  
"Those were hard times to him. He was a Death Eater, but he loved his brother too and he didn't want to endanger him. He ignored him and his activities to keep him safe."  
  
"Is it what he told you?" Lupin asked.  
  
"Partially, yes. He said this with other words I can't recall now."  
  
"And how do you feel about him? His past?"  
  
Harry tapped his chin in thought.  
  
"Basically, I don't mind it. Not only because I love him, but because I think he paid dearly for that. Yes, he committed several sins as a Death Eater, but he saved many lives as well. And he chose loneliness and regret over returning to a normal life," he shook his head desperately. "I don't think he ever had a normal life. A happy life."  
  
"No, he didn't. He was embittered and unhappy," Lupin agreed.  
  
"He still hates himself," Harry added quietly. "He can't forgive himself. I wish he could..."  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
"Why do you want me to forgive myself?" Severus asked in the shady room. There wasn't darkness in the bedroom, Harry still couldn't stand darkness, and he thought he never would.  
  
"Did you eavesdrop on my conversation with Lupin?" Harry sat up and looked at Severus angrily.  
  
"Sort of," he answered calmly. "I didn't intend to, and I heard only your last sentences about your feelings towards me. I was a little bit... shocked, I guess."  
  
"Shocked?" Harry's voice was thin in disbelief. "Why?"  
  
"Do you confess your fondness of me to everybody?" Severus' tone was strange and Harry suddenly pitied that he couldn't see his expression.  
  
"Your point is?" he asked in return cautiously.  
  
"Lupin doesn't like me and you told him that you love me and you wish I could forgive myself - risking to lose his sympathy..."  
  
"Severus!" Harry yelled impatiently interrupting the man's sentence. "First of all I don't think he hates or detests you. He even said that he was glad because you have me and you seem happier lately. On the other hand I don't care what they will think of me if I say I love you. If they want to like me, they have to do this as I am. And I love you, and they have to accept it, or they can go to the hell!"  
  
"You are mental, Quiet. I'm not important enough to lose people's sympathy just because of me..."  
  
"Oh, I see I have to pay back you the encouragement you gave me the night when you took me back into the Snape family. So, I will, now listen:" he lifted his voice "Severus you are more important to me than everyone else in my life."  
  
"Quiet..." Severus' voice cracked.  
  
"Are you going to cry?" Harry's tone was teasing now.  
  
"Of course not!" Snape yelled indignantly. Then he sat up and sighed heavily. "When you called me 'dad' some days ago, did you mean it?"  
  
Harry shut his eyes, his thoughts were racing in his head. What should he answer? The truth? What would be Severus' reaction to that? Would he reject his feelings?  
  
He suddenly felt an urge to break into laughter. He was pondering on the answer as if he had had to answer a girl's question about his true feelings. It was ridiculous, he decided.  
  
"Of course I did. I wouldn't call you that if I hadn't intended to," his tone was natural, but toned with a bit of merriment.  
  
Severus didn't react again for a long time. He leaned to the pillow and drew his legs up to his chest. Harry pulled his wand from under his pillow and ignited some more torches. Not too many, he really didn't want to embarrass Severus further, but the darkness was unnerving in such an important conversation.  
  
"Harry, I have to tell you something," he began and Harry became nervous. It was the first occassion in the last two months or so that Severus called him by his original name. "I want you to understand me, so I ask you to let me tell you the whole story and don't interrupt me. Alright?"  
  
"Alright," Harry trembled in nervousness.  
  
Severus let his knees go and leaned back to the wall his eyes shut.  
  
"Perhaps you remember what happened when I saw you standing in the Great Hall of Nightmare Manor," his voice was distant and cold.  
  
"Yes. You were frozen," Harry nodded.  
  
"Correct. I was frozen, I was shocked and I felt sick, and not because I recognised you in the first moment, but because I saw a child standing there..." Harry could see his hands clenching into fists as he said these words. "A child, again. And I don't think of Quietus. He wasn't a child when Voldemort caught him, he was as tall as me. But a child, a real child - again. Again, because my first victim as a Death Eater was a child, or better to say two children, siblings, a girl and a boy..." his voice faded, but Harry remained in silence. Severus asked him not to interrupt him and he had to give him the possibility. The opportunity to open up, to purge himself via a confession. Though, he could feel something akin to panic raising in him as he was listening to Severus.  
  
"You have to know, I wasn't the one and only spy on Voldemort in that war, and not only Dumbledore had spies. The Ministry had his own people working in Voldemort's circle, however, not in his inner circle. It was a man, called Thomas Galvany. He was a Slytherin, he graduated three or four years before me and he married a Gryffindor girl whose name I don't know. He, somehow, was uncovered and Voldemort decided to warn us by giving him an exemplary punishment in front of all of his servants. He kidnapped his family and he and the inner circle tortured Galvany's children just to break him and his wife," at this point Severus began to tremble, but Harry didn't dare to touch him, to disturb him in his story-telling. "The two children were tortured ruthlessly. I... I'm not sure I don't want to tell you what they precisely did to them. I think you know it all too well. The parents... oh, Harry, I can't tell it!" he suddenly cried out loudly. "I was scared to death and I was trying to explain to myself why Voldemort did this. That time I believed him. Galvany was a traitor. He deserved it, I thought. But I couldn't help pitying him and his children. I was confused. And then Voldemort called me and asked me if I wanted to join him, to be marked by him. I said yes and he ordered me to use some Unforgivables on the children to show my loyalty to him," Severus buried his face into his palms. "Good lord, I felt weak and shattered. There were at least one hundred people looking at me expectantly, my parents amongst them, people whom I always wanted to join and my parents whom I always wanted to be pleased with me. But I simply couldn't torture the children any more. They were dying anyway. I cast the Killing Curse on them. Both of them," Severus' words began to become more and more unintelligable as his trembling grew. "I killed them. But the Dark Lord wasn't satisfied. He was enraged. He ordered me to torture the woman. And I did everything he wanted me to do. Everything. I cast the Cruciatus on her, I beat her and I raped her. And I killed her. And finally, after hours of torture I killed Thomas too. Voldemort marked me that night. My life ended then," this was the point Harry was at the end of his tether. He climbed to the bed next to Severus and touched his shoulder, but the man flinched under the soothing touch and moved away from Harry. "Don't touch me. Don't try to console me. I don't deserve it. Your father is Quietus whom I tortured too. Or James whom I always hated. Not me. You are as good as them. You can't be mine. I can't be yours. I will do everything to help you, but I can't be your father. I can't be anyone's father," with this, he turned his back to Harry and curled into a foetal position still trembling heavily.  
  
Harry sighed and drew his hand back to his lap.  
  
"I want you to remember our happy days," he began calmly. "There you once said that if you punished yourself by remaining separated and alone, you would hurt me as well. The situation hasn't changed, Severus. I know that my biological father was Quietus. I know that my stepfather was James. But they are dead. In Nightmare Manor you also promised me to be there for me as a parent. When Dumbledore asked us to pretend to be father and son, you said you liked the idea of me being your son. Since then we have been living together. And you - you have been like a real father to me. In every sense of the word. You care for me and you help me. Sometimes I think that you really consider me as your son..."  
  
"I do."  
  
"Then?"  
  
"CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND? I CAN'T BE YOUR FATHER! I'M A MURDERER, FOR GOD'S SAKE! YOU'RE QUIETUS' SON, NOT MINE!" Severus yelled angrily with a deep sneer on his face.  
  
Suddenly, there was a noise from the corridor. Snape froze in movement for an instant, but he recovered fast. He grabbed hs wand and, stepping to the door, opened it with a sudden gesture.  
  
The corridor was empty.  
  
"Perhaps the house-elves," Harry inhaled deeply as Severus turned to him shrugging wordlessly.  
  
"Perhaps," he agreed. He shut the door and cast a silencing charm onto the room. "Or nobody," he said.  
  
But the short interlude calmed him down enough to apologise.  
  
"I'm sorry, Harry," he whispered sadly.  
  
"No harm done," Harry cast a thoughtful look at him. "But I think it's you who can't understand things. NO!" he cried angrily when Severus opened his mouth. "Let me finish it. I knew very well about your past. It's over. You suffered enough in the last fifteen years. Just like me. Our situation is not about deserving. You ARE now a father for me. It's not a possibility. It's reality. I called you 'dad', because I accepted it, I accepted you. And don't forget: I was tortured some days ago just because you are my father. I assume my suffering gave me the right to refer you as my father if I want. And I want."  
  
"But I..." Severus began weakly but Harry interrupted him this time.  
  
"Please, don't reject me." He gulped. "Please."  
  
"I can't and I won't never reject you, Harry. I didn't say all this because I want to reject you. I just... I just..." he stopped in mid-sentence. "Can't you understand?"  
  
"It's you who can't understand, Severus. The past is over, even if you wanted to bring it back. You can't. You have a present and a future to live and you have me to raise properly. It's your task now. You can't linger on the past."  
  
"As I see you don't need to be raised. You are an adult now."  
  
"No, I'm not. I still need somebody to lean on, to help me. I still need a family, which I was denied all my life. I suffered enough for being your son to earn the right to be yours."  
  
Severus finally didn't say a word, just sat next to Harry and put an arm on his shoulder.  
  
They were sitting there in silence for a long time before going to bed.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
'You are Quietus' son, not mine!' The words were echoing again and again in Black's mind.  
  
Quietus' son.  
  
Severus' brother. The perfect, the glorious, the merciful Quietus. The celebrity of Hogwarts, the best student of the century, the smiling bastard.  
  
Seemingly he was the same as his slimy brother.  
  
He never understood why Lily decided to marry James. She was Quietus' girlfriend. But now, everything was clear.  
  
That bastard cheated on her. And this... this boy was the proof of his betrayal. She, somehow learned about the boy and she broke up their relationship. And as it happens many times in cases like this, Lily ran for help to James.  
  
The bastard!  
  
And his disgusting brother was still covering his betrayal, long after the event. Why? To conserve the glorious Quietus Snape's good reputation?  
  
His rage was boiling inside him. He was sitting in the living room staring into the fire, not knowing what to do.  
  
That was the past.  
  
He made peace with Snape.  
  
His 'son' was a good kid.  
  
Quietus was dead.  
  
Snape loved Harry. He even had tried to save him.  
  
HARRY!  
  
The boy who should have been Quietus' and Lily's child, but he was James', a sign of betrayal instead of the real love - Lily had been never in love with James. Harry, as a result of the pity from James' part and the vengeance from Lily's. Poor kid.  
  
And he was pitying this Quietus kid too. He wasn't responsible for his father's betrayal and now, he was compelled to live with the smiling bastard's disgusting brother who rejected him.  
  
Black leaned forward as a decision began to form in him.  
  
This kid didn't deserve the rejection. He deserved a father, and if he wanted the slimy git to be his father, then he deserved Snape as his father.  
  
He would talk to Snape.  
  
As soon as he could. 


	12. Christmas gift

Betaed by Barbara  
  
Some remarks, please read it!  
  
I know you usually don't read AN, but it's important!  
  
I got some reviews and mails in which the readers try to suggest me solutions about things in the view of the book 5 (known as OotP). ;-)  
  
So. In my story the background is TOTALLY different, so my fiction became EXTREMELY AU!  
  
The differences are:  
  
1. Snape has a brother, who was a light wizard. (Book 5 doesn't mention any other family member of the Snape family.)  
  
2. His parents weren't shouting at each others. (They were pureblood and noble wizards, who simply despised their children, without any real hatred.)  
  
3. Snape was NOT abused by James Potter in THAT (highly disgusting and shocking) way. In a certain sense 'my' Snape respects James Potter. His hatred towards him and Black derived from their prank on Quietus. But James apologised to Quietus.  
  
4. In my story Black had a twin sister, who was Snape's lover but she had died by Voldemort's hand. (In the book Black had a Death Eater younger brother).  
  
5. The Black family was LIGHT (Book: DARK).  
  
6. Trelawney's first prophecy was different. In my fic it was directed to Quietus and about Quietus (and right, about Harry TOO). In the book to Dumbledore, about Harry (ONLY).  
  
7. Anne, Mrs Figg (instead of the more toadlike witch), Fletcher are different persons.  
  
8. The Nott boy plays a little part in the book and he is called Theodore. He is Ares in my fic.  
  
9. The Aurors are not so good in my story.  
  
10. And so on.  
  
I think I will use some things from book 5, however. These will be the things, which don't refer to the story line in general (the method and theme of the OWLs, the Ministry's description and some reflections on Dumbledore's personality for example). But my storyline is completely different, however, as I sadly realised there will be similar effects, but I won't tell you these. I've already planned this story, and even the next (which will be the last, I think) - and then I will move on, and perhaps I will go on with my OWN story. (Which will be uploaded to fictionpress.net in July.)  
  
So. These are my plans. And sorry for the long and dull 'introduction'. I felt necessary to write down all this.  
  
And thanks for all the reviewers and special thanks for all those people who didn't abandon my story after book5.  
  
I hope you'll enjoy it.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Chapter 12 - Christmas gift  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
The next morning Harry overslept and didn't make an appearance in breakfast. He came out of the bedroom about 11 a.m. too lazy to change from his bedclothes into normal ones. After a short quarrel with Severus he finally changed his mind and his clothes too and sat down to do his holiday homework. He wanted to get over with it as soon as possible, because he had seen some interesting-like books in the manor's library and he couldn't wait to read them.  
  
Nobody interrupted his studies. However, Lupin told he and Anne at lunch that the three of them were going to Diagon Alley and muggle London the next day to do some shopping: both Anne and Harry needed new clothes and Severus refused to accompany them. He was mumbling something about Lupin's potions and some other duties for Madam Pomfrey and he left to go to his lab where he passed his whole afternoon. Harry joined him after dinner, but they didn't talk, just worked in silence.  
  
Severus was still suffering from the effects of his confession, Harry could tell it by the way he looked at him or gave him some short instructions, and he couldn't blame him at all. The confessed things were not only hard to listen to, but surely just as hard to recall and to tell, and Harry was entirely sure he had been the first person to whom Severus had told that fateful and painful encounter in details. And now he had the same problem as Ares had had after their conversation in that empty hallway: he was startled by his own openness, he was terrified by his own defencelessness and he was utterly ashamed in front of Harry.  
  
But Harry did his best not to show any feeling towards him, not even acceptance, which could embarrass the man even more. He instead tried to make him feel as if nothing important had happened and nothing had changed - well, nothing had changed, really.  
  
So they worked in silence all the evening.  
  
When Severus finally dismissed him and started to clean up, Harry went to take a bath and grabbed his advanced transfiguration book to read some pages before sleeping. He ignited two torches by the head of the bed and sat comfortably. Severus didn't come for a long time and Harry finally fell asleep with the book in his hand, his head ducked back to the wall.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
He was in a very dark place; only one torch lit the large room. Voldemort was sitting in his usual throne-like chair and a thin, hooded figure was kneeling in front of him whose voice was hoarse and weak so that Harry couldn't decide if it was a he or a she.  
  
"I want the traitor's son. Soon," Voldemort's tone was low and menacing. In that very moment Harry figured out who was the conversation about, even if he had missed the first half of it. Him. Again, as a target of the dark lord. "And then everyone will receive his proper punishment. I'll give you the right to kill him and you can be marked by me after."  
  
"Yes, master," the figure croaked.  
  
"You are dismissed now," Voldemort waved his hand.  
  
"Yes, master," the same reply again as the hooded person stood up and strode across the doors. Before stepping out the figure bowed deeply and closed the door softly.  
  
Something was disturbingly familiar in that movement Harry couldn't place a finger on. He knew this person, he was entirely sure, but he didn't recognise him or her. It turned his stomach cold and aching, and he could feel the urge to retch in nervousness, but then another figure stepped out of the shadows. It was a man but he wore the usual Death Eater clothes so Harry couldn't recognise him either. He had brown hair and a general height, however, there was something unusual in his movements.  
  
"Our spy in Hogwarts reported that the traitor's son was harassed by some aurors of the Ministry. His father was extremely worried about his welfare so I'm sure our plan will work perfectly. By capturing the son we can reach the father as well."  
  
"And you said the boy trusts in our young agent," a wry smirk appeared on Voldemort's face.  
  
"He does, my lord," Harry could feel the man smiling, even if he didn't see his face. "Our spy also reported that the young Snape is about to befriend our agent, which will make our work easier too."  
  
"Excellent," Voldemort smiled satisfied. "And what about our... intercontinental mission?"  
  
"I don't know the details, my lord, but Crabbe is here to report to you..."  
  
"Just to report?"  
  
Voldemort's smile transformed suddenly into an angry sneer.  
  
"Send him in."  
  
Harry shut his eyes. He suspected what would happen in the next moment, and he was right. After the shouted 'Crucio!' everything turned into a hot- white pain, and while he could hear Crabbe's desperate cries and sobs, he wasn't sure he hadn't cried and sobbed either...  
  
A strong hand grabbed his shoulder.  
  
"Quietus?"  
  
Harry suddenly became confused. The voice was not Severus's. It was familiar, but not his. The next moment he jerked away from the grip and with a soft cry he jumped from the bed wrapping his arms tightly around himself.  
  
"Quietus?" the voice repeated cautiously. "What's the."  
  
"Where's Severus?" Harry could hear his own voice weak and distant. "Where is he?"  
  
"I saw him in the library. Do you want me to call him?"  
  
"Yes, sir, please," Harry sighed and opening his eyes looked at Lupin's face.  
  
"Did you have a nightmare?" the werewolf asked as he saw Harry regaining his composure.  
  
"Please, call him," Harry repeated and turned his look to the floor.  
  
Lupin sighed and left the room. He returned some minutes later with a highly nervous Severus. The man didn't care that Lupin was with him, or that he could see him; he hurried to the dazed and shivering Harry and hugged him. Harry relaxed in the hug and even the after-effects of the nasty curse were fading slowly after some minutes. He could feel as strong arms put him back to his bed and tucked his blanket around him tightly, and he felt as Severus sat on the bed next to him.  
  
"What's wrong with him?" Lupin asked again. "Nightmares?"  
  
"It's not your business, Lupin," Severus snapped angrily.  
  
"He was writhing as if he had been hit by Cruciatus," Lupin sighed. "Was it Voldemort?"  
  
"Get. Out," Snape spat more angrily than before. "As I said it's not your business, Lupin."  
  
"Perhaps I could bring some painkiller or relaxing potions," offered Lupin.  
  
"I don't intend to overdose him, Lupin. He doesn't need any potions."  
  
"Does he often have these. nightmares?" asked the werewolf.  
  
"No, but."  
  
"Then why do you fear to overdosing him?"  
  
"GET OUT!" Snape yelled his eyes glittering dangerously.  
  
"Severus, please," Harry sat up and looked at the two adults. "I'm fine, sir. I just had a car accident this summer and sometimes I have some nightmares about it," he explained to his ex-professor as seriously as he could. Meanwhile, he was begging for the day he wouldn't need to lie any more.  
  
Lupin nodded uncertainly, but Harry could see on him that he wasn't convinced with the offered explanation. Nonetheless, he left the room and closed the door behind him. Harry leaned back to the bed and closed his eyes tiredly.  
  
"Our plan is failed. Voldemort is after me again, but this time he wants to kill me because I'm your son. The traitor's son, as he said. He has agents in the school, I suspect one of them is in the staff," he mumbled unhappily. "I can never live a normal life, seemingly." He turned his back to Severus and curled into a ball. "Don't you want to report to the Headmaster?"  
  
"Later, Quiet," Severus said and laid his hand on Harry's shoulder. "I don't think it's so urgent. And I don't want to leave you alone now."  
  
"Thanks," Harry mumbled.  
  
But the usual conversation, which always followed Harry's visions or nightmares didn't occur this time. They just sat in silence again, as the night before, listening to the other's steady breathing until Harry fell asleep.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Severus looked at the cauldron counting the drops of the mandrake's syrup added to the potion. He was cursing inwardly as it was the third draught he damaged that morning, though he couldn't say what the reason of the failures was. The mandrake's syrup? The wormwood? The Crup's nail? He had already made this potion two times before and there hadn't been any problems yet. He wanted the potion to turn into a bright green colour, like Harry's eyes, he thought to himself, but instead, for the third time it turned into an ugly brown and stank. Severus this time cursed loudly as he poured the content into the sink.  
  
He stepped to the window and opened it to clear the stomach-churning stench out of the room and leaning to the frame he stared blankly out to the snow- covered garden. The big oak now stood alone, unlike the summer when Harry had spent almost all his free time reading or just sitting there, his book open in his lap, his eyes showing fear and uncertainty. Those eyes, which during the first months of school had filled by life and trust again - those eyes, which had shone fear of rejection again. Damn the boy! Why couldn't he understand?  
  
The thoughts were racing in his head, and he understood precisely why the potions had gone wrong all the morning. He couldn't concentrate on his work properly. Harry's words and eyes were attacking him every now and then, his mature and wise words, and he felt compelled to consider and repeat them again and again.  
  
He couldn't understand how a boy could be so considerable and intelligent. How he could understand things better than him. He felt the truth of his sentences, and he had heard some of those sentences many times before, Albus used them to warn him not to nurture old guilt and pains, but he couldn't help feeling them. He was guilty. The mere time wouldn't purge him. He had killed people and he could never be forgiven. Dumbledore and Harry were wrong. They had never committed anything serious enough to be able to understand. They were clean and flawless, unlike him, the guilty, mean, disgusting, greasy Potions Master of Hogwarts.  
  
They would never understand.  
  
He couldn't be the boy's father. He had been too bigheaded when he had thought of Harry as his son. No. The boy was Quietus's son. He wasn't anything like Severus Snape.  
  
He shook his head - perhaps to clear his head? - and turned his attention back to the potion. Lupin needed it, if he wanted the werewolf remaining human instead of turning into a beast permanently. Since Voldemort's werewolves had bitten him, he had been tending to turn a permanent werewolf, not only in the full moon's times. It was his, Severus's invention too, he thought sadly to himself. He had invented the Werewolf- fusion, as he called it, which caused this unnatural change in a werewolf's organs, which turned Lupin into a permanent werewolf for months so that nobody could visit him. At the end of September he had found the first medicine against his own poison, but without Harry's and Hermione Granger's help.  
  
A knocking interrupted his thoughts.  
  
"Come in," he said nervously. He didn't want to talk to anybody now.  
  
"Hi, Severus."  
  
"Black, oh no," he shook his head. He was not in the mood to talk to the ruddy dog about anything. As he looked at the handsome face he felt the urgent wish to postpone their peace and throw him out of his lab. But for Harry's sake he schooled his face into a blank expression and ushered his ex-enemy towards the only chair in the room.  
  
"I have no time, Black. Spit it and go."  
  
Black, however, didn't seem to hurry.  
  
"Sirius. Not Black," he reminded Snape smirking. "You remember surely our."  
  
"Yes, I do," Snape waved impatiently. "What do you want, SIRIUS? But say it quickly if you want your werewolf friend to get his potion in time."  
  
"Polite as always, Severus," Black's eyes lightened dangerously. "I'm here to talk to you about your. son."  
  
Snape's hand halted frozen in the air. He turned his look at Black slowly, having evil forebodings about the next sentences.  
  
"Or your perfect brother's son?" Black continued in a teasing tone.  
  
"Don't dare.!" he moaned at the Animagus through clenched teeth. "Leave him out of this!"  
  
"Young Quietus is his son, not yours, isn't he?" Black didn't bother with Snape's anger.  
  
"How."  
  
"You bellowed this from the top of your lungs to him two days ago, if I remember rightly." An evil grin appeared on Black's face.  
  
Severus lowered his hand and leaning to his desk he turned his face to Black.  
  
"It's none of your business. Leave this topic alone now or." Snape didn't finish the sentence; he couldn't fathom any good threatening at once.  
  
"Or what, Snape? Don't you like that any other human being discovered your perfect brother's little secret? That he wasn't any better than you?"  
  
The next moment Snape grabbed Black's upper arm and pointed his wand to his neck.  
  
"Listen, you blasted dog. I made peace with you just because of Harry. But if you dare to insult my brother, my DEAD brother once again, Black, I swear, I kill you in that very moment as you deserve it."  
  
"Let my arm go, Snape," Black hissed at him menacingly. "And I'm not the one who insults your precious brother, Snape. It was you, who said the boy. no, not said. Who shouted to him that you are not his father, but Quietus is. And I was always wondering why Lily married James if she had been dating Quietus for years?"  
  
Snape understood abruptly. Black hadn't heard their whole conversation, just a part of it, a very small part, in reality, and however his conclusion was pretty unnerving to Severus; it was better than the truth.  
  
So, Black believed his brother cheated on Lily.  
  
He let Black's arm go and turning on his heel he walked to the open window again.  
  
"So, do you come to insult my brother, Black? To enjoy the knowledge he wasn't any better than you, who tried to kill him?" he turned around and pointed his index finger at the other man. "Whatever he did, I won't let you call him names and insult him freely, I swear."  
  
"Oh? So now you come to say that I'm a killer, don't you? Strange, very strange, Snape," Black's eyes narrowed in wrath. "You shouted to that. that boy that YOU are a murderer, so YOU are unworthy to be his father!"  
  
Snape stepped to Black and leaning close to his face he hissed angrily.  
  
"Why? You did know what I was, didn't you?"  
  
"Not until this spring, Snape."  
  
"You knew that I was in Azkaban."  
  
"I knew. I was there too as an innocent."  
  
"Innocent," Snape snored and cracked an ugly smile. "After two attempted murders."  
  
"I didn't kill anybody, Snape!"  
  
"But you tried. It was not your merit that your victims survived," he stopped and looked at Black directly. "I wasn't so lucky, Black. My victims had died. All of them," with this he returned to the window.  
  
There was something in Snape's voice, what stopped Black to react immediately. What was it? Guilt? Shame? Hatred?  
  
Black covered his face into his palms. Suddenly, he felt ashamed. He didn't come to yell, to argue with Snape, but to let him see somehow that that boy needed him - and after that fateful encounter with the Aurors, the young Quietus deserved to be called the git's son if it was what he wished so much.  
  
And the sincerity in the other's voice drove him into another thought as well. Snape confessed him his murders. His sins.  
  
'I wasn't so lucky, Black. My victims had died.'  
  
The realisation was too sudden and caught Black completely and perfectly off guard.  
  
'I wasn't so lucky.'  
  
What if Quietus had died?  
  
'Lucky.'  
  
What would have happened then? Would they have been expelled? Would they have been sentenced to life imprisonment in Azkaban without the chance to be free again? Would they have died or gone mad there out of guilt?  
  
Could he have survived the dreaded prison with the knowledge that he had killed somebody? With the very memory of it? With Dumbledore's disappointed expression, with Anne's hatred, his father's rejection, just sitting there knowing he had had no forgiving?  
  
'Luck.'  
  
What if Snape had been killed by Lupin?  
  
It wouldn't have been him to be blamed for the sin, it would have been Lupin who had been sentenced to life imprisonment or even to death.  
  
'I wasn't so lucky.'  
  
Black stood up.  
  
"Severus. I apologise for my words. They were uncalled for. And I apologise for your brother. I. I couldn't. I didn't know, just." his voice faded.  
  
Snape stared him in utter unbelief.  
  
"What are you babbling about, Black?" he said angrily.  
  
"You are right. I'm not any different or any better from you, Sn. Severus. And. perhaps I was wrong about you and Quietus. However, I should have known. Anne always loved you and trusted you, even when you left her, she was sure you would return once."  
  
"I didn't RE-turn, Black. I had been dark since my early childhood. I changed sides, when Quietus was killed by the hands of Voldemort. My parents sentenced him to death. They brought him there," his hands clenched into fists as he spoke. "And now I'd like to abandon this topic if it's possible. Tell quickly why you came and go away."  
  
Black sighed.  
  
"I came about Quietus. No, not your brother," he added fast as he saw Snape's fingers turning white in clenching, "but the boy. His son. Or. your son."  
  
"I have no son, Black. Though I have to pretend to be his father on Dumbledore's order. And for this I want you NOT to mention this piece of information to anybody. Not even to that werewolf friend of yours."  
  
Black walked next to Snape and following his look he too glanced over the white garden.  
  
"He wants to be your son, you know. And he earned the right to be called it if he wants. And. you earned the right as well. You love each other, you care for each other and you need each other."  
  
"He is too good to be called my son, Black," Snape answered seriously, but his tone missed its usual coldness and malice as he spoke to the Animagus. It rather sounded only tired.  
  
Black scratched his chin in thought.  
  
"This kid - just reminds me Harry, you know. Perhaps because both were raised by Muggles? I don't know, Severus. But I can see that he is so desperately yearning for a family, for a father to respect and follow..." he lowered his hand unsurely. "He does everything to gain your love, your respect..."  
  
"Sirius, I love him as you said and I respect him, just..." Severus interrupted, but Black didn't let him finish his sentence.  
  
"Yes, you do it in your own stupid way, Snape, and I'm sure you try to do your best. But you have to love him in HIS way, as HE likes. Accept him, his feelings, his appreciation. I understand that you don't feel worthy of this, perhaps you aren't really, but it's not about what YOU deserves. HE deserves it. And - that's enough."  
  
Both men were standing and staring at each other for long minutes. Finally Black stepped at the door and opened it leaving, but before he closed the door behind him, he turned once to Snape.  
  
"Do it for Harry's sake, if you really loved him," he inhaled deeply to gain air for the next sentence. "And sorry again. I will never hurt your brother's memory again. He was better than me. I was unfair to him - and unfair to you. Sorry. And. I won't talk about this to anybody."  
  
He didn't wait for an answer, but closed the door quietly.  
  
Severus couldn't move. He was just staring blankly and stupidly at the shut door, and perhaps for the first time in his life he couldn't find proper words to express his feelings - neither towards Black, nor Harry.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Harry stormed into the living room excitedly with the new owl in his hand.  
  
"Hey, Severus, look what professor Lupin and Sirius bought to me!" he grinned widely. He wasn't supposed to get his gift before the evening feast, but he had convinced Lupin that he needed the owl to post his gifts to his friends, and finally the man had given up and Harry could lift his new owl proudly, only with a little hint of sorry about Hedwig, who was now Hermione's owl since the Headmaster had given it to her - like he had given Harry's broom to Ron just after the funeral. The other, less recognisable things remained Harry's: his trunk - which had been made by A. H. Potter, Harry's step-grandmother personally, Dumbledore had shown him her signature on its bottom, the invisibility cloak to Snape's utter anger, his map (however, he still hadn't revealed its secret to Severus - Harry didn't want him to use it against the students wandering on the corridors at night), and his old wand too.  
  
After the unfortunate meeting with the Aurors, Severus ordered Harry to keep his original wand on him in secret, in his robes. He had charmed the wand to be invisible - not even the Revelo spell was able to reveal it - and since then Harry always carried two wands on him, which gave him a good, safe feeling.  
  
"Beautiful owl, Quietus, but I don't think you was supposed to receive it before this evening."  
  
"I know, I know, I just want to send my gifts to Hermione, Neville, Ares and." Harry suddenly blushed and added quickly, "the others."  
  
Severus raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Who these 'others' are, Quiet?"  
  
Harry, determined, pointed his look at his feet and didn't answer.  
  
"Quiet! I asked something!" Severus leaned forwards and put his hands on his hips menacingly.  
  
Harry felt uncomfortable. Lupin and Anne were looking at them curiously and he really didn't want anybody to know about Leah and his feelings towards her. Instead, he turned on his heel and fled from the living room to his bedroom and locked the door behind him. He could hear Severus' voice bellowing after him in the staircase, but he didn't care. Why should he know? It was none of his business, and certainly not after the past days' rather cold treatment.  
  
He was afraid that Severus would follow him to the bedroom and take him to account, but he didn't come for long, and after ten minutes Harry calmed down enough to wrap all the gifts and to give them to Arthur (this was the new owl's name), who disappeared soon in the early evening's growing darkness.  
  
He still felt uncomfortable when Lupin came to call him to the dinner. He didn't want to argue with anybody on Christmas evening, and certainly not with Severus. He loved the man and he knew precisely, that his feelings were reciprocated, and he could understand the other's discomfort after that talk some nights ago. So he decided to show a good mood even if somebody else would be sneering and scowling at him.  
  
But, seemingly, nobody wanted to destroy the feast's mood with quarrels or arguments, so the dinner passed well with Anne's usual chattering, Black's jokes, Severus's semi-evil remarks, Lupin's silent smiling and Fletcher's serious lectures. Then they moved into the living room where the Christmas tree was standing and waiting for them and in the next moment everybody was occupied by little boxes and parcels on which their names were written. Anne was the happiest, and she often cried out in joy as she saw a new toy, or sweet.  
  
Snape seemed a little shocked with his gifts - Harry was almost sure he hadn't been given gifts for years - and his eyes were too bright after a while. Harry even caught a single tear running down as he opened Harry's gift - the watch.  
  
The watch with two hands: Quietus and Severus were written on them, and some remarks: Lesson, Home, Friends, Danger, Died and GB - referring to the Greatest Bastard. Now the hands were pointed to 'Home'.  
  
Severus didn't move, just looked earnestly at the watch - he seemed a little bit out of himself as he caressed its surface cautiously, seemingly deep in thought.  
  
Harry, in the meanwhile began to unpack his own gifts - books and sweets, mostly. Surprisingly, he received the same Arithmancy lexicon from Hermione, which he had bought for her and now he felt suddenly nervous at the thought that he had wanted to keep it himself. At least, this way both of them would be happy with the same book. Neville's gift was a book too: 'Dark wizards in the goblin and troll riots in the Middle Age' - and Neville had marked the some places, where Harry could find the mentioned names of Snape, Noblestone - and even Longbottom. There had been a war, where a Noblestone had fought with a Longbottom against some Light wizards, and at the end the two of them even had married - however, the Longbottom family was not a noble, just a general-ranked pureblood family, but Harry noticed satisfied that he was related, though from afar to Neville too, not only to Malfoy. Unfortunately, Draco Malfoy was a closer relative than Neville, but he sought comfort in the fact that Neville was somehow related to him as well.  
  
Ouch! Neville was related to Malfoy as well!  
  
Well, Ron had said him long ago that the wizarding families were all related to each other since there weren't too many wizards in the world and this went for the pureblood families even more. Not to mention the fact, that tradition had been much more important in the Middle Age than now.  
  
Then he leafed through another book from Ares (Self-defence techniques and their learning), ate two chocolate frogs (he gave the cards in them to Anne whose hobby was card-collecting), he played a party of wizarding chess with Black (it was a substitute gift from the two of them for the owl), he lost the game, of course, and finally he began to unpack the last box he was sure he was given from Severus. It contained two things: a huge tome of 'Everything about Healing Potions' and a general-looking, grey book, which was completely empty. Harry lifted his eyes to Severus, but he was playing chess with Anne in that moment, trying to explain the different movements and tactics to the overjoyed girl.  
  
Harry turned his attention back to the box and his eyes caught a simple envelope slipped into the box. He opened it cautiously and he saw a neatly folded parchment in it, with Severus's handwriting.  
  
It read:  
  
Dear Quiet,  
  
Merry Christmas.  
  
I hope you like the potions book - perhaps it seems a little bit selfish gift from me, but I can't help denying myself. You will understand it and you will find it extremely useful during your next year potions studies, I'm sure.  
  
The other book was Quietus's diary. I've never tried to open it, it always seemed to me like an intrusion to his privacy, and this feeling just became more accentuated after his death, but I think it will help you to know him better - perhaps even better than I ever did, and it could lessen that distance between you and him as well, which bothers you to no end.  
  
Severus  
  
(Dad)  
  
For a moment Harry was so shocked that he couldn't even breathe. No, it wasn't because of his biological father's diary.  
  
It was the last line, the one word between brackets, which was certainly added later to the letter: the ink's shade of colour was lightly different that the other parts, but it was written by Severus nevertheless.  
  
Dad.  
  
Harry didn't dare to lift his head. He was just staring at the word, not wanting to give Severus a chance to withdraw this one word, which was more precious to Harry than every other gift he was given. It was a clear sign of Severus's final acceptance, his care, which almost sealed the summer's events and all the facts happening in the first half of the school year. He had been an orphan for too long, not having anybody to refer to as his parents - and now he finally received permission from the person he considered his father for months.  
  
"You are too silent, Quietus. Is there any problem?" he heard Lupin's worrying voice next to him.  
  
"No," he lifted his head and looked at the werewolf. "There's nothing. I was just. thinking about things, which happened to me in the last weeks."  
  
"The problem between you and Severus?"  
  
Harry's eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"Wha- what?" he babbled.  
  
"It seems if it was a kind of tension between the two of you for days," Lupin explained.  
  
"Oh, I see," Harry said. "No, not really. We had a little quarrel about. things and. well."  
  
"I understand," Lupin nodded. "And now his gift reconciled you?"  
  
"Er. yes. Yes, generally," Harry smiled broadly. "And thanks for the chess. It's a pity I'm a terrible player. Everybody can beat me easily. Especially Seve. dad," he cast a glance towards Severus who was actually losing a match against Anne. "He likes playing very much, and since I live with him, he often plays with me. I think I'm not so keen on chess."  
  
"Sorry. I didn't intend."  
  
"Alright, I know. Nothing happened. And I like it. Perhaps, from now on I will be compelled to learn playing better."  
  
"Did you play Muggle chess too?"  
  
Harry shrugged.  
  
"That's the same as the wizarding one. The only difference that Muggle pawns are still and don't want to press their will on you."  
  
Both smiled.  
  
"Do you often have nightmares?" Lupin asked suddenly.  
  
Harry cast him a reproachful glance.  
  
"I'm not supposed to talk about it," he said with a hint of coldness in his voice.  
  
Lupin didn't answer, just smiled calmly.  
  
"I heard you called Severus 'dad'. It was the first time."  
  
Harry shifted uncomfortably behind Lupin's all-knowing glance.  
  
"We didn't live together before this summer," he repeated the well-known lie to him. "I never called him either father, or dad before. I had to get accustomed to the idea."  
  
Lupin nodded.  
  
"Well, I think I'm ready to go to bed. I'm pretty tired," said Harry finally and grabbed the books and left for the staircase.  
  
When he arrived at the bedroom, he put all the things on his desk and after a fast turn in the bathroom he changed into his bedclothes and went to bed. He wasn't entirely awake when Severus arrived, but he sensed as the man sat on the edge of his bed.  
  
"Harry, you have to know that I meant it seriously," he said quietly, "however, I'm quite sure you don't know what to believe and what not to, but I was. I just." he couldn't continue.  
  
The next moment Harry erupted and jumped on Severus shouting into his ears.  
  
"You are just a selfish, mean git, nothing else! Buying potions book for Christmas just to have a skilled assistant?"  
  
They fell to the floor laughing.  
  
"I didn't keep it secret," Severus moaned behind Harry, who was kneeling on his chest.  
  
"You're a slave-keeper Slytherin, nothing else," Harry snored.  
  
"And what are you?"  
  
"I'm a misled little Gryffindor, of whose weakness the evil Head of Slytherin took advantage to his own benefit."  
  
"A WEAK Gryffindor? What are you doing on me, then?"  
  
"Kneeling."  
  
"Pinning me to the floor."  
  
"Correct."  
  
"Let me go. I wanted to talk to you seriously."  
  
"I hate your serious talking. You don't speak to me after that for days."  
  
"Harry, please. The thing I shared with you some days ago wasn't something easy to recall and I want you to handle it more seriously."  
  
A hint of pain in Severus's voice made Harry stop. He stood up and helped the man up from the floor too.  
  
"I think I was just. a little enthusiastic, Severus. I was so happy to read your. letter."  
  
Snape smiled.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Of course. Do you remember my birthday?"  
  
Severus nodded.  
  
"It was my best birthday ever. And now - this was my best Christmas ever."  
  
"Is it Quietus.?"  
  
"No," Harry interrupted him. "It's you. Good lord, I've never thought it before, but I now confess you: I'm proud to be called your son."  
  
"You're mental."  
  
"It's perhaps a family heritage."  
  
"Impertinent brat."  
  
Harry stuck his tongue at Severus and lay on the bed.  
  
"G'night, dad," he said for the second time in his life, tentatively.  
  
"Good night, Harry."  
  
Harry moaned angrily. Severus sighed and surrendered.  
  
"Alright, alright. Good night, son."  
  
Neither of them was able to fall asleep for a long time.  
  
Just two words.  
  
But they meant the world to both of them.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Some minutes after Harry's leaving, Black freed Snape from the little girl too and took her to bed. Snape left and also Fletcher excused himself after some words. Lupin remained alone in the library. He waved his wand and turned the major part of the torches off. In the semi-dark he leaned back and wondered about the last weeks' events.  
  
Quietus. Severus's son was a strange boy. Much more strange than his father or his long-dead uncle. He was extremely smart, but he was as cautious as Lupin, however, he couldn't understand why. Lupin had his own reasons to be always cautious with everybody; the main of them was his lycanthropy, but why did the boy have to be so guarded and cautious?  
  
His eyes were wandering the room in thought.  
  
"Anything wrong?" asked Black suddenly from behind.  
  
"Nothing," he shrugged. "I was only thinking."  
  
"I see," said Black and circled the sofa to sit next to Lupin. Before sitting he saw a piece of parchment lying next to his friend. He picked it up and gave him.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
"Isn't yours?" Black asked in return.  
  
Lupin shrugged and opened the folded piece. His eyes ran through it quickly.  
  
"No, it's Quietus's," he said and put it to the coffee-table.  
  
"The first sympathetic Snape I've ever seen," said Black with an edge in his voice.  
  
"Nah." Lupin shook his head. "His uncle was a rather good guy too."  
  
"Are you mental?" Black looked at him in utter disbelief. "Snape was NEVER a good guy!"  
  
"Which Snape are you referring now? I think we know three of them."  
  
"Severus, of course," snored Black.  
  
"Severus? I meant Quietus, Severus's brother."  
  
Black suddenly became embarrassed and turned his head away from Lupin. The werewolf eyed him suspiciously.  
  
"Hey! You are keeping something secret from me, aren't you?"  
  
Black shuddered slightly.  
  
"Er. In a certain sense. yes. But." he didn't continue. He stood up and left the room in a hurry.  
  
It, however, wasn't necessary. Suddenly, everything clicked to his place in Lupin's mind.  
  
'His uncle was a rather good guy.' - 'Snape NEVER was a good guy!'  
  
Quietus's diary - 'it could lessen that distance between you and him as well, which bothers you to no end.'  
  
'Severus (Dad)'  
  
The young Quietus was not Severus's son. He was Quietus's.  
  
But Quietus had been dating Lily in the time this boy had born. How old was this boy? Lupin wondered. He was in the same year as Neville, Hermione and Ares - the fifth year - Harry's year. He was the same age as Harry.  
  
Harry. The boy was so terribly like Harry. The same movements, gestures, expressions. The same courage, behaviour, perhaps a little bit more timid, as he would have passed something terrible. He had nightmares too. and he had serious phobias as if he had been abused before.  
  
Bloody hell!  
  
Abused - nightmares with Cruciatus (which meant Voldemort) - same age, same gestures, Quietus, Lily, Harry's summer experiences with Voldemort - Harry's death.  
  
Bloody hell.  
  
The youngster wasn't Severus's son.  
  
He was Quietus's son, which meant he was also Lily's son, who was the same age as Harry, which meant he was Harry. He wasn't James's son, James was only helping Lily to marry him two months after Quietus's funeral.  
  
Bloody hell! Dumbledore had had a brilliant tactic to protect Harry - and to save the long-time loner Severus as well. He had forced them together compelling them to behave like father and son, which after the summer events probably hadn't been so difficult.  
  
What an interesting turn of events! Lupin thought to himself smiling broadly. Dumbledore had an extremely devious plan to get rid of the disgusting bastard once and for all - he had made Voldemort believe that Harry had died and he had been preparing Harry against him while Voldemort thought he could be at ease.  
  
Yes, Dumbledore was devious.  
  
And he had to keep his mouth shut not to betray him.  
  
Lupin continued his musing in the dark room, and his harsh laughter broke its silence from time to time.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Next: Saturday? :-P 


	13. Falling

Betaed by Barbara  
  
Thank you for your patience. I have a hard time in writing this chapter. It's my favourite, however, I don't know, why. I like it.  
  
Thank you for your reviews. You told me you will read my story whatever was written in the 5th book for I'm really grateful.  
  
Thank you for your advises, ideas, counsels. You help me a lot.  
  
About the questions: I hope all will be answered in the end.  
  
And, yes. There will be a sequel, most definitely. That will be the last part of my story.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Chapter 13 - Falling  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
The 31st of July 1975  
  
Hi,  
  
If you read these lines it means that you are my son (or my daughter) and I'm dead. It's really strange to write down all this, but I'm sure you can understand my fluster. It's like leaving behind a good-bye letter after a suicide, and I never wanted to commit suicide, so I've never written a good- bye letter either. All in all it means I have no practice in it. So, please forgive me my embarrassment and the perhaps sometimes disturbing entries, I'm writing this to leave something behind if my suspicions come true.  
  
So, my dear offspring (oh, my God, I nearly can't believe I wrote down that word!) I hope this diary would help you to know and to understand the things about you and me, if you ever read this.  
  
Generally, I consider myself a sober and serious man ('boy' perhaps would be better considering my age) and this diary is certainly the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life. But since my thoroughly belittled professor, Ms. Trelawney made her prediction to me I can't help thinking about it again and again, and having some suspicions about its (and her) sincerity I've finally decided to take this move, to write a diary.  
  
Perhaps it's silly and I'm doing this only for myself, but I have an unsure feeling that it's the best decision I could make now.  
  
So I begin this diary with her prediction to let you understand what I'm babbling about.  
  
It happened on my Divination exam in the end of my 4th year. I was sitting in front of her staring into a glass sphere and I was forcing myself to see something in it, when she suddenly fell un(sub?)conscious and went into a trance. Her voice became slow, deep and totally unrecognisable, and she seemed not to be herself. I've never seen her like that before.  
  
She said (I'm quoting her words as precisely as I can):  
  
'Through death, you will give life; by your love, your beloved will defeat your enemy. But the Dark Lord will be back when his time will come and your offspring has to face death to eliminate him and to remain.'  
  
I'm not entirely sure what she (or her prophecy) is suggesting to me, but I have the evil foreboding that it means nothing good. There is too much death in it and I really don't like that Voldemort's defeat is on my beloved's (and my offspring's - so on your) shoulders. I'd eliminate him personally, it would be really good, but these words don't seem to give me a chance for it.  
  
I suspect that they talk about my death and I'm not so keen on this idea. I'm 15 and a half year-old in this moment and I hope that this prophecy is about my old age, when I will have a wife and children. But I don't believe my wishes. It seems that I will die young, and I will leave a widow and at least one child behind, and it scares me near to death. I don't want to die.  
  
In case of my suspicions turn out right, I leave behind this diary too, with a letter to Severus (I hope he will survive my death) to give it to you to make me known and understood by you, my late offspring. However, I hope I can know you personally and all this diary stuff will be unnecessary.  
  
I'm afraid that this prophecy isn't too pleasurable for you either, Trelawney's last word - and I'm regrettably sure I remember perfectly it - was 'remain' instead of the soothing and calming 'live', which indicates to me your inevitable doom too, though I hope I'm wrong about it. I don't want anybody to die except from the Dark Lord himself, and I fervently hope, the old bat was wrong and her prophecy was a perfect failure.  
  
I hope. 'And hope maketh not ashamed' as is written in the muggle Bible somewhere.  
  
I'm not ashamed for I don't want to die. But I try to accept it when its time will come.  
  
Severus would say that I'm a fool if he read this, and perhaps he is right.  
  
I'm a fool; I was always a fool, in my whole life, an oddball in my family, in my house, and in my year. I'm now a would-be-fifth year Ravenclaw from Hogwarts. I have no real friends in the school, except for Lily, but she is a partner rather than a friend, I think. I have an older brother, a snarky and untidy fellow, a would-be-last year Slytherin, Severus. We have two parents, who don't really love us, they only want us to join their Dark Lord and follow their stupid and evil ways.  
  
I hope your situation is better. You have more friends and your family (your mother, so my wife - oh, how strange to write that down!) is treating you better than my parents treat me. I'm sure that Severus adores you, as he is strangely but strongly obsessed with me. I can understand him; I love him too. He is a wonderful, but silly person, you can always count on him, he will be always there for you, even if he seems a little unfriendly sometimes.  
  
I enchanted this book so that only my offspring and I could read it. It seems a simple, empty book, which shows its secret to you only when you open to read it. It's a useful charm I've learned from Lily. You should know her, she is a natural in Charms! So, nobody else can read it. Just the two of us.  
  
I don't know what more to write. You will know the other details of my life from the next entries, so I finish here for now.  
  
Your father (this is entirely ridiculous!): Quietus.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Harry lowered the diary. He read the first entries for the third time, but he still felt that it scared him to death, just like it had scared Quietus.  
  
Trelawney's prophecy was too horrendous. Not to mention Quietus's explanation of it. And Quietus had explained the first half, which had referred to him, correctly. He had suspected that he would die young and he had been right. He had suspected he would leave a child behind him, and he had been right. It meant that he could be right when he assumed that his offspring would die too.  
  
Harry shuddered.  
  
When Severus, for the first time had told him about the prophecy, in the dungeons of Nightmare Manor, Harry had come to the conclusion that its 'face death' part had meant their capture and escape there. Now he had the horrible feeling that he had been wrong. This 'facing death' thing was still ahead of him.  
  
Harry sighed and closed the diary. He decided that was enough for now, and he would re-read these entries sometimes later, and he would research the meaning of prophecies and divinations in the library as soon as he could find time. And he would find time: this was about his life and death; he had to be as sure as possible about it.  
  
He even decided not to mention it to Severus since he would be freaked out by this revelation, and perhaps it's totally wrong, so why to bother him with stupid suppositions like these.  
  
He put the book back in his bag, next to his schoolbooks, and took out his potions homework essay to check it again. It was as long as Severus had required about the magical and non-magical use of Chamomile in healing potions, boring stuff, but it helped to stop thinking about his nearing doom.  
  
Chamomile. Healing potions. Potions. Severus. Nightmare Manor. Voldemort.  
  
An agent in his surroundings. An agent amongst his friends.  
  
Quietus was possibly right.  
  
God! He would die. Perhaps before his 19th birthday. Before his father.  
  
Concentrate on the essay! He thought to himself. There was no need to linger about blurry prophecies, which are made only by that pitiful bat of a Divination Professor!  
  
But her prophecy was true. This prophecy was true. Even Dumbledore considered it as one.  
  
Harry's hand shook.  
  
It should be terrible for his father, his 15 year-old father, to come to this conclusion. Harry now could perfectly sympathise with him. Harry felt the same, or more so. He was 15 and a half years old like him, but Harry knew precisely who he was about to face.  
  
Red eyes. Evil grin. Bony hands waving orders, thin white lips muttering satisfaction with his servants' pain-making work.  
  
Severus, whining and whimpering under his curses. He, himself screaming in fear.  
  
Harry didn't want to face him again. He didn't want to carry the burden. He was a just a boy. Nothing else. Why did the adults expect him to fulfil this extremely disgusting duty?  
  
Harry covered his face into his hands and inhaled deeply.  
  
No, he decided. Stupid questions wouldn't solve anything. He had to act. He had to study, to make himself ready for that day, to be able to face his enemy, his parents' murderer and wipe him from the earth once and for all.  
  
Even if it was his doom, he had no other choice, but to meet it and fulfil it.  
  
He clenched his teeth determinedly and forced his attention back to his essay. He must learn as much as he could. He couldn't know what and how would be useful in his decision.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
"Quietus. Though I thought your marks couldn't be any better, your results in this month amaze me. You will take your OWLs with flying colours, I'm sure."  
  
Harry was stunned as he turned his gaze to Severus. They were sitting in the Slytherin stand amongst the spectators waiting for the Gryffindor- Ravenclaw Quidditch match to begin. Harry was transfixed as he looked at the flying figure of Madam Hooch, it was Severus's voice that pulled him out of his daze.  
  
"Huh?" he asked half-heartedly. It was the first Quidditch match he decided to see, he didn't even come to see Quidditch training either. The whole thing was still painful. He loved Quidditch. Flying was like breathing. He could feel free and light as air. He loved the challenge of the matches. The excitement, the slight fear. Now he came just because his classmates had asked him to come, especially Seamus, the new seeker.  
  
He loved everything about the game and now he missed all of this badly. He missed the everyday practices too. He hated this lifestyle: sitting and reading without any sport, not because of his weight, but because of the lack of movement. In reality he did not even have weight problems, on the contrary, he was losing weight again. Fortunately, Severus didn't notice it, at least not yet and so he didn't question him about the relapse.  
  
"I've said that I'm proud of you. Your marks are amazing," Severus smiled at him. "But why did you decide to sit next to me? Why didn't you go and sit with your friends?"  
  
"Thanks," Harry smiled in return. "And for my sitting next to you: I find it safer. Anything could happen in a Quidditch match and I still don't know who is about to. hand me over to. you know who I'm talking about."  
  
Severus looked at him.  
  
"This is the first time you call him You-Know-Who."  
  
"I didn't call him You-Know-Who, I only used a subordinate clause, as you know it perfectly," Harry said crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
Severus raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Indeed."  
  
Harry shook his head.  
  
"Dad. You are mimicking professor Snape!"  
  
Severus smirked and leaning forward he whispered into Harry's ears.  
  
"I tell you a secret. I'm professor Snape."  
  
"I don't believe you," Harry said. "You're much better than him."  
  
"Really? Then detention to you for being impertinent to a professor," he leaned back. "Tomorrow."  
  
"You can't be serious."  
  
"I'm totally serious."  
  
"With Filch? Hagrid? McGonagall?"  
  
"With me."  
  
"With Neville?"  
  
"No," Severus said seriously. "The potions tutoring is over for you two. Now, even Neville will be able to meet the exams' requirements so I don't find necessary to spend any more of my free time brewing stupid potions. Instead, you will help me brewing potions for Madam Pomfrey. Alright?"  
  
Harry nodded. And something suddenly came to his mind.  
  
"Dad?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
Harry opened his mouth to ask his question, but in the next moment he couldn't hear his voice either. The players filed out of the locker room walking towards Madam Hooch, who was refereeing. She stood in the middle of the field waiting for the two teams, her broom in her hand.  
  
Harry couldn't hear her words, but he knew them by heart. She asked the players for a fair game and ordered them to mount their brooms. They did it.  
  
Then Madam Hooch gave a loud blast on her silver whistle and the game began.  
  
Once again, Jordan was doing the commentary for the match with McGonagall's usual corrections.  
  
Harry just waved to Severus and trying to out bellow the crowd he shouted 'Later!' to him. Severus nodded and they turned their attention to the pitch.  
  
The first person Harry saw was Cho and he felt his heart stopping. He hadn't thought of her for months, he didn't even notice her in this year. Suddenly, he felt embarrassed and guilty. It was just too easy for him to forget her - after all he did to her with Cedric's death. Harry shut his eyes and trembled slightly. He couldn't hear Jordan's commentary either. The whole world turned numb for him, and he regretted coming to see the match. He didn't want to be there. And he didn't want to be anywhere. This life was too much to bear. Harry'd like to lean on Severus for a little help and reinforcement, but the mere thought of it made him blush - he, leaning at Severus in the middle of the Slytherin crowd! What would it do to Severus's reputation? Not to mention Harry's, or better to say Quietus's reputation.  
  
He forced his eyes open to see the match, avoiding, as much as it was possible, looking at Cho. Whenever his eyes caught her a new wave of guilt attacked him. 'Kill the spare!' and he felt he was unable to move. He loathed himself for his weakness. He opened his eyes and forced himself to watch the match again and again.  
  
The Gryffindor team was as good as the last year. The Chasers were playing in total harmony, the two beaters, the Weasley twins were fast and precise, Seamus was searching for the snitch - however, he wasn't closely followed by Cho unlike Harry.  
  
And Ron - Ron was flying in Harry's old Firebolt. Harry could feel his palms sweating. His feelings towards Ron had begun to change. He wasn't so sure he still wanted him as his friend. Was it Percy's fault? Or Ron's own? Harry couldn't answer his own questions. He just felt bitterness as he stared at his once-time friend.  
  
Suddenly, their eyes met and locked. For a short moment, Harry thought that Ron would wave or smile at him, their looks were so intense. But then, Ron's expression changed into a sneer and Harry sensed the pure hatred behind it. Just beautiful. Ron, sitting on HIS broomstick and sneering at him. Life was beautiful, wasn't it?  
  
Harry cast a glance at the Gryffindors who were standing and jumping in excitement. The match was very intense and balanced, Harry could see that the Seekers would determine the final result. The Slytherin house around him was shouting and bellowing as they supported aloud the Ravenclaw team. The only exceptions were Ares and Severus.  
  
Harry still couldn't hear normally. He was only watching the match in a self-made silence as the Gryffindor chasers were passing the Quaffle between themselves, avoiding with graceful flying the Bludgers and the other team members.  
  
A Bludger attacked Angelina, but she dodged it and George came and sent it towards a Ravenclaw chaser, who, in that moment, managed to grab the Quaffle and turned around quickly. The Bludger remained a little behind. George came again and beat it with full force.  
  
Then it happened.  
  
Ron's eyes were at the nearing Ravenclaw Chaser, his gaze fixed on the Quaffle in her hand. He was so deep in his concentration that he didn't notice the Bludger rushing towards him at full speed.  
  
George shrieked something unintelligible, Fred covered his eyes with his hands.  
  
Angelina shrieked, Seamus stared unblinking in horror.  
  
Every noise stopped and the time seemed to stop or to slow down - the feeling made Harry remember the moment Peter Pettigrew cast the Killing Curse on him.  
  
But now, Harry was already on his feet, his hand moving towards his belt where his wand was tucked.  
  
The next moment the Bludger hit Ron's temple. He was almost abruptly covered with blood, fresh, bright red blood. A painful expression appeared in his friend's eyes, then the orbs lost their brightness and shut tiredly.  
  
It was as if it happened in a dream or as if Harry saw a slow-motion film. Ron's hands released the broom, he lost his balance and he began to tumble down, the broom slipped from beneath him.  
  
And all of a sudden, everything turned back in its normal state and motion.  
  
Harry pulled out his wand and pointing at the falling figure, he bellowed from the top of his lungs:  
  
"WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!"  
  
It was always the first spell that came to his mind. Luckily. Ron's body now weaved in the air unmoving, just the dropping blood showed that there existed a phenomenon called gravity.  
  
"You can release him, Quiet. The Headmaster is already taking care of him," Harry suddenly heard Severus's voice and felt his hand on his shoulder.  
  
It took a long moment to understand what Severus said. He lowered his wand, slowly, but just when he saw Ron's body arriving onto the ground without falling, he could fully release his magical control over him. He collapsed to the seat in mild shock.  
  
As Severus wrapped his arm around his shoulder, he could feel himself trembling wildly.  
  
"Are you okay?" he heard the concerned voice again. He just nodded in response; he didn't trust his vocal chords yet.  
  
They sat for a while unmoving, Severus holding Harry in silence. When he finally was able to stretch himself and open his eyes, the first thing he saw was Severus's red cheek. He let his stepfather go and cast a look at the strangely quiet surroundings.  
  
Everybody in the school was looking at them. Everybody, without exceptions. Severus, with his usual glare and sneer tried - unsuccessfully - to compel them avert their gazes, but it had some effect only on the first years and the younger Slytherins, the others continued their numb-shocked staring at them.  
  
"What are they looking at?" Harry whispered nervously.  
  
"You. And me, obviously," Snape hissed in anger. Harry was glad that Severus's anger wasn't directed on him.  
  
"But. why?" he gulped.  
  
Severus looked at him seriously.  
  
"You were extremely, unthinkably fast, Quiet. I've never seen anybody act so rapidly, not even the Headmaster. We were still under the shock of the happenings while you already were on your feet, your wand in hand and stopping Mr Weasley from falling. Everything happened in five or six seconds, not more."  
  
Harry shook his head to clear it.  
  
"For me it seemed much more. Almost minutes. Just like." Harry didn't continue as he noticed the still staring students and teachers. "Let's go. I hate being looked at so intensely. It makes me sick," and he jumped on his feet and hurried towards the stand's exit. Severus followed him.  
  
His movement broke the silence. Loud noise filled the Quidditch field and the stands: questions and surprised remarks. Not just about Harry's fast reaction, but about their despised Potions Master's reaction too. Nobody had ever seen him touching anybody, not to mention embracing! He behaved like a human. Like any other human on this earth. Some students were scared to death. Others were in shock.  
  
In reality there was only one person, except for the professors, who noticed Harry's speed of reaction. But she wasn't still on the Quidditch field. She was following his unconscious boyfriend towards the Infirmary behind Dumbledore.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
"Severus!"  
  
Severus lifted his eyes to Harry standing in the other end of his desk.  
  
"Yes, Quiet?"  
  
"You wanted to tell me something. Before the match."  
  
For an instant, Severus shut his eyes in thought.  
  
"Oh. I remember now. I was just wondering about your marks."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"They are amazing."  
  
Harry sighed and sat on the desk, despite Severus's disapproving look.  
  
"Do you wonder why? I don't do anything, just study. I try not to spend too much time with my so-called friends, and you are always working. What could I do? I'm studying."  
  
Severus sighed too.  
  
"You try to avoid your friends because of the vision?"  
  
Harry snored indignantly.  
  
"You might say that."  
  
"I see."  
  
They stared at each other, the sadness was almost tangible between them.  
  
"I'm sorry, Ha. Quiet."  
  
Harry didn't answer just took a photo in his hand. The photo was Severus's favourite, it stood in his desk always. They were in two in the photo, playing chess lost in thought, neither of them had noticed the Headmaster entering with the camera. Severus loved this picture, the figures in it were almost unmoving, their attention closely on the chessboard. It was so characteristic of them: the strong concentration, the serious expressions, the still and quiet movements. Harry was sure these were the main explanations of their nearly unperturbed and peaceful coexistence. Harry generally didn't disturb Severus, he spent his afternoons in the library, after dinner he helped him in his experimentations, then he was reading while Severus was marking essays or checking quizzes, and they had long and serious talks about serious topics, which were generated generally by Harry's studies.  
  
And, sometimes, they played chess.  
  
"I want to ask a favour from you," Harry sighed finally. Severus, who, in the meantime returned to his marking work, lifted his head in surprise waiting for Harry to continue. "I'd like you to teach me Dark Arts."  
  
A sudden and total blow filled Severus's face and the man gaped several times before he could say a word.  
  
"What?"  
  
Harry sneered.  
  
"You heard me. I want to study Dark Arts."  
  
"You won't," Snape said and he clenched his quill so strongly that it broke in two in his grasp. "I won't teach you Dark Magic. Never. And don't use this stupid 'Art' word. Dark Magic isn't an art. It's instead a weapon. A very disgusting weapon at that."  
  
Harry's sneer deepened and he leaned forward.  
  
"But I think I have to study it, you can call it what you want. I need to study it."  
  
"Nonsense, Quiet. You don't need and that's it. I will never teach you Dark Magic. And I will never allow you to change schools, if you wanted to suggest that stupidity."  
  
Harry swallowed and once again he considered carefully what he wanted to say - and especially, how.  
  
"Look, Severus. I began reading Quietus's diary."  
  
Snape suddenly released the broken quill and looked at Harry - in fear?  
  
"How could you do it?"  
  
"He wrote it to me."  
  
His words' effect was immediate and thoroughly shocking. Severus's jaw fell, his eyes widened and they seemed like endless, black depths.  
  
"It's impossible," he whispered. "He didn't know about you!"  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
"Exactly. He didn't know, but he began his diary after Trelawney's prediction. He assumed from it that he would have a child and in case of his death he wanted to let his child know him. He wrote he gave you a letter with it."  
  
Severus shook his head, but he didn't say a word for a long time.  
  
"No," he said finally. "He didn't give me any letter. Perhaps, because his death was too sudden, and he didn't know about you either. I've found it amongst his books, and I knew it's a diary, he was writing it for years, and I." Severus sighed aloud. "How could you read it? The writing was invisible."  
  
"He charmed it with Li. my mother's help. Just he and I are able to read it."  
  
"Bloody hell." Severus muttered. "How I hate all these secrets and prophecies!"  
  
Harry cringed inwardly. He could perfectly agree with Severus, the prophecy, after all, suggested his own death too.  
  
"He quoted her prophecy too. And it said that I'm the one supposed to defeat Voldemort."  
  
"No." Severus's answer was immediate and severe.  
  
"But yes. It says that 'your offspring has to eliminate him to remain'." It was a slightly edited version of the prophecy, as Harry didn't want to scare Severus with his possible death.  
  
Severus dropped his head into his hands.  
  
"Why you? Why always you? Why don't you get a little bit of peace, finally?"  
  
Harry froze, then he smiled sadly.  
  
"I'm the Boy-Who-Lived, remember? Hogwarts's newest celebrity! The son of the greatest Light wizard of the century!" his words were so utterly bitter that Severus blinked in confusion. He had never seen Harry so desperate before.  
  
"I. I'm sorry, Harry."  
  
"You don't need. It's not your fault. It's this life's fault. My doom's fault. I don't know whose fault is precisely, but surely NOT yours."  
  
Severus nodded several times.  
  
"So it's still on you to defeat him." Snape didn't wait for Harry's answer as he went on. "Alright then. I will teach you Dark Magic, but not practice. Just theory. I want you to understand it, but you can't intend me to turn you into a perfect Death Eater!"  
  
"Will it be enough?"  
  
"It must be enough. You can't defeat the dark with the dark. You can become the new Dark Lord by doing that. You have to defeat dark with light."  
  
"So you can teach me to understand the nature of darkness."  
  
"If you insist."  
  
"I do."  
  
"Alright then, son. But I'm not happy with your decision."  
  
"Neither am I. But I can't see any other chance."  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
The Infirmary was too bright and too antiseptic to Harry's taste. He hated the whole place with passion; he had spent a certain amount of time here every year.  
  
He was moving slowly not to wake Ron up in case he was still asleep. He tiptoed to the only not empty bed, and as he moved closer, he could see a mop of red hair on the pillow.  
  
It was Ron.  
  
Harry cursed himself for the hundredth time for coming to disturb Ron, but he hoped that perhaps now they could finally make peace, at least a bit of peace, after Ron's unlucky falling stunt.  
  
Harry knew precisely that everybody was aware of his rule in Ron's salvation, and he knew that Hermione had told Ron already what had happened two days ago in the match. (She had told him that Ravenclaw had won, because Cho had been the better Seeker of the two. Harry had smiled so proudly as if he had been Cho's boyfriend, or even Cho herself.)  
  
His conversation with Hermione hadn't been too long, but she had thanked his fast reaction and his willingness to save the man who hated him with as much passion as Malfoy did. Harry hadn't said a word for a long while just sighed, but in the end he couldn't help opening his mouth.  
  
"I did it for you, Hermione," he had said smirking evilly. "I've already told you that I don't want to date you. You are not my type. I prefer less intelligent girls."  
  
Hermione's reaction had made his smirk even larger. She had put her hand on her hips in anger.  
  
"I'd never date you even if you were the only male on this earth!"  
  
"It's a real relief, my darling," Harry had bowed at her and both laughed.  
  
Harry smiled as he thought of this conversation. Hermione was still one of his best friends.  
  
He stepped closer to the bed, cautiously.  
  
Ron stirred, he perhaps heard the soft footsteps and turned his head towards Harry's general direction. First he didn't recognise the tall, dark- haired wizard: the light was too bright and Ron needed some time to regain his eyesight, but just as his eyes acclimated to the brightness of the room, his expression, as always, turned to an ugly sneer.  
  
"Oh, I see my saviour came to present the bill for his courageous deed," the red-haired boy sat up and cast a hateful look at Harry. "I'm sorry, I'm not grateful to you, little Sly. I know that I owe a life debt to you and I promise I'll try to repay it somehow, but don't think I'll ever change my opinion of you," he narrowed his eyes and hissed. "I don't know what are you up to precisely, but I'll never give you Harry's place even if everybody, including Hermione, does! Never!" he cried the last word exasperated and lay back. "You can go now, your filthy excuse of a human being. Leave me alone and never come back."  
  
Harry was frozen on the spot. He couldn't move, he couldn't think, he felt as if his heart turned ice. He lifted his hand to interrupt Ron, he even opened his mouth, but he was entirely unable to say, to do anything.  
  
"Mr Snape? Come, please," it was the McGonagall's voice. The old witch was standing in the door looking at the two enemies. "And twenty points from Gryffindor for your rude and uncalled words, Mr Weasley. I'd expect more from you."  
  
Harry mumbled an uncertain 'bye' to Ron, but he didn't react, then he followed the billowing red robes, wondering if Severus had learnt this billowing stuff from the older woman. McGonagall leaded him to the Headmaster's office. The password was still Fudge, and Harry's uncomfortable feeling grew with every step he made.  
  
He didn't want to be called a hero for his deed, he didn't want to be questioned about his spell-casting speed, all he wanted was to return to the dungeons to his books and read - or to brew a potion with Severus to sooth his painful nerves.  
  
But there wasn't anything he was expecting in the office. There weren't questions and expectations, there was, on the other hand, a large group of red-headed people hugging him and shaking his hand happily.  
  
But they were all very shocked, Harry assumed looking at their faces, just as he regained his consciousness. The bodily contact was too much all of a sudden, and he went black in Mrs Weasley's bear-hug, it was Hermione who saved his limp body from the woman's embrace and told them his reluctance to be touched with the help of the twins.  
  
Finally, he sat up and looked at his first real and favourite family. There wasn't the whole family: Percy and Charles didn't come, but Fred and George were there grinning madly, Mr Weasley looked at him with mixed curiosity and acceptance, Mrs Weasley was still under the shock of Harry's reaction of her embrace, Bill eyed him warily, and the two girls smiled warmly.  
  
All in all it wasn't too uncomfortable, Harry decided and attempted a light smile.  
  
"So, Ronnicy was a git again," George said opening the conversation. Harry didn't answer, McGonagall, however, snorted loudly.  
  
"After what I heard in the Infirmary some minutes ago, I think I can understand that fight you had with Mr Weasley in September, Mr Snape. Was it in the same manner?"  
  
Harry just shrugged.  
  
"We had our differences, madam," he said finally. "It's a thing between he and I, and I don't want to talk about it in his absence."  
  
McGonagall raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Really? Then meet me in my office Friday, after lunch. We'll have a talk together with Mr Weasley."  
  
Harry frowned, but nodded. He wasn't thrilled with the professor's idea. That talk would only worsen the things between them, he was sure.  
  
"We wanted to thank you for your. er. presence of mind," Mr Weasley said finally. "The twins told us you acted fast and without thinking. However, as I heard from them - and from the professor now - you aren't on good terms."  
  
Harry chocked back a short laugh.  
  
"That's, Mr Weasley, an understatement. However, I tried to dismiss his hatred many times, but he doesn't seem to forget me being a Snape," he crossed his arms and cast a sad look at the man.  
  
"After what Percy did to you, you had every right to hate him and Ron, I guess," Fred added and the two adults blushed.  
  
"Charles says hello," said Bill finally. "And we both want to apologise for Percy's and Ron's behaviour."  
  
Harry lowered his hands and folded them in his lap.  
  
"You don't need to. It was not your fault. And as for Ron's saving - I'd do it for anybody."  
  
"Are you sure you're a Snape?" Bill asked suddenly, blinking significantly.  
  
Harry turned red in anger.  
  
"I AM a Snape, and if you wanted to say that my father is nothing but a filthy Death Eater, who deserved every torture he had to survive in his life, then I tell you, you are wrong!" Harry jumped on his feet, his face contorted in wrath. "Perhaps he isn't the nicest man in the world, but he isn't just a 'filthy pathetic excuse of a human being' as your precious brother says always of him and me too! He even saved Harry Potter's life many times, not to mention the people he saved as a spy! You don't have the right to make allusions and evil hints about him!"  
  
"Quietus!" the Headmaster's serious word interrupted Harry's tirades. "Nobody wanted to hurt your father."  
  
"Really?" Harry asked with an edge in his tone. "It seemed different to me," but he sat back and cast a last, despising glance at Bill.  
  
"Sorry," he mumbled in embarrassment. "But you know."  
  
"He knows," Hermione said suddenly. Everybody looked at her in surprise. "He once overheard my conversation with Ron, when he. he told me about your family," she gulped in fluster and closed her mouth.  
  
The Headmaster and McGonagall looked at them quizzically.  
  
"I don't think father knows that the Galvanys were your relatives," Harry said calmly. "When he spoke about them, he never mentioned it."  
  
"It wasn't Thomas Galvany, but his wife. She was my sister," Mrs Weasley said sadly. "But they were Death Eaters. Both of them: Thomas and Nelly. I. I didn't want to tell Ron or the children. but they. deserved it in a way."  
  
"But your sister. was a Gryffindor!" Ginny cried.  
  
"It doesn't matter, really, dear," Mrs Weasley shook her head and his husband nodded approvingly. "You-Know-Who had and has followers from every house."  
  
Harry sighed.  
  
"They were killed because they were spies for the Ministry and Voldemort uncovered them."  
  
"My dear, you don't need to excuse them," said Mrs Weasley calmly.  
  
"I don't excuse them. I only repeat what I heard from Severus," Harry said and in some words he summarised what he heard some weeks ago.  
  
Heavy silence fell to the room, when the door squeaked. Severus entered the office.  
  
The silence became deeper and Snape stopped at the frame.  
  
"Am I disturbing?" he asked after a long break.  
  
It was Harry who stepped next to him.  
  
"We are talking about the Galvanys," he said and he stood firmly at the Potions Master's side showing that he was ready to protect him in the possible quarrel.  
  
But nobody said a word.  
  
"They were Mrs Weasley's relatives," Harry continued finally. "This is the main reason for Ron's hatred."  
  
Snape just nodded at Harry's words and looked unblinkingly at the Headmaster as if he was looking for help.  
  
"Nobody blames you, Severus," Dumbledore said interrupting the long silence.  
  
"I blame myself, Albus," Snape hissed, but didn't move.  
  
"It was long ago. It wasn't your fault. They would have died in any case. They chose that path, they were adults and they should have known the consequences," Mrs Weasley's words were serious and firm.  
  
"Their children were innocent," Snape stated tiredly.  
  
"They would have died anyway," Mr Weasley said.  
  
"It doesn't matter. I killed them, and not anybody else."  
  
The words hit in the deep silence like stones.  
  
"You atoned for your mistakes, Severus," Mrs Weasley sighed.  
  
"I can never atone for my SINS, Mrs Weasley," Snape reacted, but he still didn't leave. Instead, he turned to Dumbledore. "Albus, I think it's time to give my resignation."  
  
Harry felt his heart stop.  
  
"Why, Severus?" he cried despairingly to the man.  
  
"I don't think it's appropriate for me to teach students when I killed their relatives. My only apology, Headmaster, is that I didn't know it," he looked resolutely at the old man.  
  
There was silence again. But this time it was deeper and more disturbing than before.  
  
Dumbledore looked at the shocked family, and finally it was Mr Weasley, who opened his mouth.  
  
"I don't know what you are planning to do, Albus, but I want to take my comments." He looked at the Headmaster who nodded in consent. Mr Weasley went on. "First, we all owe an apology for both of you for my two sons' behaviour. What Percival did and what Ronald said are unforgivable, and neither of you did anything against them or my family, however, in my opinion you had every right to act. Second, you, Severus, saved many lives in the first war, and I remember it was you who warned us many times when You-Know-Who planned an attack on the non-loyal pureblood families. It's to your merit that we survived the first war. Third, we all are aware that you saved Harry's life many times, and Harry was for us like a family member to us, like my son," he stopped and inhaled deeply before he went on. "Anyway, if you leave the school now, you will be in danger and your son will be alone here, without your help. Not to mention that Dumbledore will have to find a qualified Potions Master in the middle of the school year whose loyalty is flawless and whose professionalism is suitable not only to teach but to brew the necessary potions for the Infirmary and the Order too."  
  
Dumbledore smiled at the man and turned to Severus.  
  
"Arthur is right, Severus. I can't accept your resignation. Not now, anyway. We need you here at least until the war will be finished."  
  
Snape sneered.  
  
"So you want me to stay here till the end of my days, Headmaster?"  
  
Dumbledore chuckled, and even some of the Weasleys smiled.  
  
"Aren't you a little pessimistic, my friend?"  
  
Severus cringed slightly, but he didn't smile.  
  
"I was serious, Albus."  
  
Harry turned to him and grabbed his arm.  
  
"Mr Weasley and the Headmaster were serious too. We need you here," he said, then he added unsurely "dad?"  
  
When Snape still didn't show any sign of accepting the situation, Mrs Weasley stepped toward him.  
  
"The war is here. We need to learn to forgive and forget to unite against our common enemy. You can't go now. Your place is here. I, we forgive you. Severus," she said and reached her hand for a handshake.  
  
Snape looked at the woman in front of him.  
  
"If you insist," he said bitterly and grabbed the offered hand.  
  
And then happened the thing Harry had been sure he would never see: all the present Weasleys stepped toward the Potions Master and shook his hand.  
  
A battle was won  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Next chapter: hopefully Sunday. 


	14. Serious talks

Betaed by Barbara.  
  
And sorry for being late.  
  
And thanks for the reviews. I really appreciate them.  
  
And about the story: it will be 21 chapters - at least I think now.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Chapter 14 - Serious talks  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
"Tomorrow is Hogsmeade weekend. Do you mind going together?" asked Ares as he put some butter on his usual morning toast.  
  
Harry glanced at him pondering what to say. Could they go together? His eyes narrowed as he eyed the brown-haired boy next to him.  
  
"Dad wanted me to help brewing potions for the Infirmary," he said finally, and it was true: he and Severus really planned to brew the healing potions in the weekend. "But I'll ask him," he added hastily. He needed more time to decide and this seemed a good chance to obtain it.  
  
"I see," Ares said, the disappointment transparent in his voice.  
  
Harry sighed mentally. Ares never wanted to go to Hogsmeade, and now, he would like to go with Harry of all people! He shifted uncomfortably.  
  
"I was at home in the winter holiday," Ares added matter-of-factly, but Harry couldn't help lifting his gaze at him in worry.  
  
"Oh." Ares wasn't in contact with them since his father had been arrested as a Death Eater. "And what happened?" he asked curiously.  
  
Ares shrugged.  
  
"It's a long story," he bit his toast. "And I really don't want to tell you in front of the whole house."  
  
Harry glanced around, and he noticed to himself that nobody was looking or listening to them.  
  
"No one is paying attention," he turned his face to Ares.  
  
Ares frowned.  
  
"You can't be sure about that," his expression went rigid and, opening his Arithmancy book, he buried his face in it. His behaviour told Harry clearly: 'Leave me alone!'  
  
Harry now sighed audibly.  
  
"Look, I really." he began, but Ares interrupted him.  
  
"I want to re-read the chapter before the lesson," he murmured and didn't lift his gaze from the book.  
  
Harry felt a strong ache in his stomach as it churned in response to Ares's words. He didn't intend to hurt or offend the other boy, but he had managed it. Harry really didn't know what to do. His vision had warned him enough not to make sudden and dangerous moves, he wasn't ready to face the red- eyed monster - not yet, at least. He and Severus hadn't even started their Dark Magic course.  
  
Ares didn't say a word in the whole Arithmancy lesson, and after its end he hurried to his Transfiguration class leaving Harry with Hermione. They headed to the defence classroom.  
  
"I don't know what can I do with Ron," Hermione sighed just as they were alone in the empty hallway. "He's always so mean to you. And what he said Sunday."  
  
Harry shrugged.  
  
"Leave it. I don't mind. Anyway, today I have to go to McGonagall's office to talk to Ron and her. I don't really look forward to it, believe me. However, I'm quite sure the professor won't let him call me names like normal."  
  
"He is such a bastard to you!"  
  
"Yes, he is," Harry stopped and looked into Hermione's eyes. "But I don't think hundreds of talks can change him. He decided that he would hate me forever, and that's it. For some time I thought I could have his. sympathy at least if not friendship, but he never gave me even a little chance to get it. I'm just the disgusting Death-Eater-wanna-be Snape for him, he couldn't see through my name and his unreasonable hatred. For now, I gave up his friendship, totally."  
  
Hermione nodded, and put a hand on Harry's arm. Both stopped in awe when Harry didn't flinch feeling the touch. Hermione smiled warmly.  
  
"I'm happy professor Snape didn't give his resignation. He has changed a lot since he's with you, you know. He is not as biased and unjust as he used to be before."  
  
"He is not a spy anymore, Hermione."  
  
"Yes, but. not only this spy-stuff. He seems quieter. happier. You know, the first time I saw him as more than our not-so-favoured professor was Harry's funeral. He was completely broken then."  
  
A flicker of pain appeared on Harry's face and he couldn't answer. Suddenly, the picture of the kneeling and crying Severus came to his mind and his heart stopped for a moment. What would his REAL death do to him? Would he survive losing Harry again - but this time irreversibly and forever? Harry shut his eyes tightly.  
  
"Quietus?" Hermione's voice was clearly concerned. "Is there something wrong?"  
  
Harry still couldn't open his eyes, just shook his head. There wasn't 'something' wrong. There was 'everything' wrong.  
  
Hermione's hand on Harry's arm went firm, and she sneezed him slightly.  
  
"Harry was tortured and killed there. And Severus blames himself for everything. He can't forgive himself for anything he did. However, for his whole life he was acting under coercion, even when Potter was caught. It was Potter's fault, the whole situation, not Severus's. Potter acted irresponsibly, when he left his uncle's house, and it was his fault that both were tortured horribly." Harry couldn't go on. The pictures of the previous nights attacked him fervently and aggressively. It had been the first time in their relationship, when five days ago Severus's nightmare had woken Harry and Harry had held Severus, he had comforted the trembling and half-conscious man, and since then every night had been filled with nightmares and tears - and Harry could see that Severus's nightmares had been mostly about Nightmare Manor and about their common captivity there.  
  
Hermione scrutinised the unfocused boy in front of her.  
  
Something was too odd, too personal in his behaviour Hermione couldn't put a finger on. As if it would be him, who blamed himself, however, he hadn't been there, he hadn't done anything. Tears dribbled from the boy's eyes, but he didn't notice them, just stood there and his shoulders trembled. Suddenly, Hermione put her arm on Harry's shoulder and pulled him closer into a comforting hug. Harry, in his daze accepted the friendly contact and leaned his head to her shoulder, struggling against the sob, which was about to erupt from his chest.  
  
He still didn't retreated from the bodily contact. But none of them recognised that.  
  
"We have to go, Quiet. We will be late," she murmured into Harry's ears after a few peaceful minutes.  
  
Harry nodded and pulled out of the embrace, his eyes still red with his unleashed tears.  
  
"Yes, we must go," he agreed and leaned over to pick up his bag.  
  
Mrs Figg was already there when they entered the classroom. She cast a cool glance at them.  
  
"Five points from Gryffindor for your delay, Miss Granger and a detention for you, Mr Snape, with Mr Filch," she said frowning.  
  
The professor didn't like Harry, though after her confrontation with Severus she had never tried again to attack him - in reality she ignored him completely during the practical lessons, but she never missed any opportunity to give him detention. Harry smiled inwardly. No matter how Mrs Figg tried everything to make his situation worse, she wasn't as good at it as Severus had been to 'Potter' during the first four years. She didn't have the proper malice and the refined practice to do it.  
  
He sighed and bowed at her politely and sat on his usual place next to Neville. Strangely, the professor's coldness eased his sadness, and he didn't feel himself so miserable. In the last months he had earned detentions only in her lessons, he thought to himself.  
  
"Today, class, we begin a very complex and hard, but in the same time very useful, magic. As you all know, this summer He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named rose again, and one of his first deeds was he persuading the Dementors of Azkaban to join him. So now, in the upcoming years we have to face them as well, wherever we go. For this, we have to learn the spell, which gives us the possibility to keep them away from ourselves and saves our lives in extreme situations. Do you know which spell I'm talking about?"  
  
Of course, thought Harry, but he didn't lift his hand. He decided not to know the Patronus Charm. No, he had never heard about it before. Not at all. And no, he couldn't conjure it. And no, his Patronus's form is not a deer. Why would it be?  
  
But Ron's and Hermione's hands were still in the air.  
  
"Mr Weasley?" the professor bowed at the red-headed boy.  
  
"The Patronus Charm, madam," Ron answered politely.  
  
"Well, you answered the question brilliantly, ten points to Gryffindor."  
  
"Professor?" asked Hermione suddenly. "Why do we learn this spell in defence class? It's a Charm, isn't it?"  
  
The professor raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Very good question, Miss Granger. Yes, this is a Charm, and of course, you will learn about it in Charms too. Professor Flitwick will teach you the theory behind it, and we will do the practical part in our classes. Other questions?"  
  
Harry sighed deeply and fixed his gaze to the desk in front of him. His marks in this class weren't really abysmal, but they were his worst because of his difficulties in conjuring an appropriate shield in order to protect himself. Harry had already discovered that he had no problems in protecting others with his shields, but the professor hadn't been satisfied with his results.  
  
And now, the Patronus Charm. He couldn't conjure even a weak Patronus if he didn't want to reveal himself. Not only Ron and Hermione knew his Patronus, but almost the whole school had seen it in the Quidditch match when Malfoy and his cronies had played their stupid prank on him.  
  
Damn it. He was damned this year, Harry was sure. Not to mention the future... The near future in McGonagall's office.  
  
Harry suddenly became aware of a piece of parchment in front of him. It read:  
  
'What's the problem?'  
  
Harry scribbled behind the first line:  
  
'Ron.'  
  
Neville wrote the next question.  
  
'I can see something worries you. Did you cry?'  
  
'None of your business,' was Harry's rude and embarrassed answer.  
  
Neville grinned at him apologetically.  
  
'What do you think about a Hogsmeade trip tomorrow?'  
  
Harry froze. First Ares, now Neville. Nothing made his choice easier.  
  
'Don't know yet. Leave-'  
  
"Mr Snape," purred a slow voice ahead of him. Harry's breath stopped, and he lifted his head.  
  
"Professor?"  
  
"Give me that parchment," she said. When she saw Harry sitting motionless, she cried impatiently "NOW!"  
  
Harry cringed slightly and lowering his head again, he handed the parchment to the teacher. He was waiting for a minute for the woman's reaction, but nothing happened. Then her footsteps grew more and more distant. She went back to her desk and put the sheet on it.  
  
Harry was grateful when the lesson finally ended.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
"What's the matter, Quiet?" Snape stirred his potion cautiously until it became deep orange. When Harry didn't answer, Severus, still looking intensely at his concoction added "it's Ron, isn't it?"  
  
Harry shrugged and took a knife to slice up the flobberworms.  
  
"I assume the conversation with Minerva didn't go well."  
  
"It's an understatement," Harry murmured angrily. "But at least you don't have to worry about your house's victory in the end of the year."  
  
"How many points...?"  
  
"Seventy, in total. However, I didn't say a word. I was just sitting there like an idiot, and Ron and McGonagall were shouting at each other as if I wasn't there at all. It wasn't a nice feeling, I can assure you. Finally, I asked the professor if my presence was necessary, and after she gave me a detention with Filch for my impertinence, I left."  
  
Snape raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Congratulations! Two detentions in one day!"  
  
"But what a day, Severus!" Suddenly, Harry smiled widely. "Imagine, Hermione touched me and I didn't go black, or more so, I didn't even flinch!"  
  
The stirrer stopped in Severus's hand and he looked at Harry with surprise.  
  
"It's good news!" he said and his face mirrored Harry's smile. "You are beginning to heal, I hope."  
  
"I think I've just started to trust Hermione more than everybody else, except for you, of course. She's the only friend of mine about whom I'm totally confident."  
  
"What about the others?" Severus asked, his face again buried into his cauldron.  
  
Harry tossed the sliced plants to Severus and picked a small cauldron and began to heat up water for the asphalt-based infusion.  
  
"Be cautious, the last infusion was a little bit stick," the Potions Master glanced at him. "I had to increase the quantity of the other ingredients in order to brew it right. I almost failed it."  
  
"Neville and Ares both want to accompany me tomorrow to Hogsmeade. I don't know if I can trust them," Harry furrowed his brows. "You know, I want to but... I'm simply too paranoid. Family heritage?" he winked at the frowning man.  
  
"Quietus wasn't paranoid."  
  
"You're my family too," Harry explained slowly as if he spoke to a little child. "Besides, Quietus was paranoid. He just didn't let anybody know it."  
  
Severus's hand trembled slightly.  
  
"Are you still reading his diary?"  
  
"Sure. It's very... enlightening," Harry didn't sound happy.  
  
Severus, however, didn't press him to continue. They worked in silence for a while.  
  
"I don't understand Ron," Harry said after he put off the fire under the steaming cauldron. He collapsed into a chair and lifted his eyes to Severus's face. "You know I thought that after... after Sunday's events he wouldn't hate me as much as he hated me before," he choked.  
  
Severus didn't answer for a long time. He put the last ingredients into Harry's infusion and mixed it with the potion in his cauldron. Then he put it aside and moved to sit facing Harry.  
  
"I think I can explain it to you," he began looking into Harry's eyes seriously. "But I don't know if it's good to tell you or not. I don't want you to think that I'm jealous or anything..."  
  
Harry put his elbows on the desk and leaned his head on his fists.  
  
"I don't suppose you want to lie to me."  
  
Snape shook his head.  
  
"No, just... look, it's hard to speak about it. It's the thing why I hated you... I hated James Potter's son," he gulped in embarrassment, but Harry's face didn't contort in rage or disappointment. "When he saved my life after your godfather's prank, I resented him more than ever. When your worst enemy saves your life and you owe your life to him... it's a nauseous feeling. You feel, you'd better die or anything," he finally fell silent.  
  
"But why, Severus, why does he hate me?" Harry cried desperately. "I think I understand this hating stuff, but I can't understand WHY did he chose to hate me just as he saw me in Diagon Alley?"  
  
Severus sneered, but Harry knew it wasn't directed to him.  
  
"He hates me, Harry. He hates me because I survived and his friend did not. Because I was always cruel to his friend - to you, Harry - and I failed to save you, as I really failed, it was the mere luck and another life debt, which saved your life... So, it's a kind of revenge. Revenge on me for you."  
  
"Well, I thought the same," Harry nodded. "And what do you think I can do to convince him to..."  
  
"You can't do anything, Quiet," Severus said quietly. "I'm sorry."  
  
"You? I'm sorry Severus," Harry said and both stood up to continue their work.  
  
It was quite late when they returned to their quarters, but to their astonishment two people were waiting for them in the hallway: the Headmaster and Lupin.  
  
"Hello, Severus," Lupin smirked at them. "I came for my potions."  
  
"I would have dropped it tomorrow anyway," Snape murmured, his eyes glittering angrily, as opened the quarters' door. With a short wave of his hand he ushered the guests into the sitting room. "So? What are you doing here?" he asked as his guests sat down.  
  
"We came for tea, Severus," Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling in the torch- light.  
  
Harry smirked and sank into his favourite armchair taking a warm cup in his hand. The werewolf looked at him.  
  
"Hello, Harry," said Lupin unceremoniously.  
  
Both Harry and Severus froze in movement.  
  
"Bloody hell, Albus," Severus finally managed to choke some words. "Why did you tell him?"  
  
"He didn't need to tell me, Severus," Lupin said, "I figured out to myself."  
  
"You can't tell anybody about it!" Severus snapped to him. "It would endanger him exceedingly!" he added and suddenly, a thing came to his mind. "Does your idiot friend of a dog know it?"  
  
"Severus!" cried Harry and Dumbledore in unison.  
  
Lupin cast an ice-cold glance at his ex-colleague.  
  
"Though, I don't think you have the right to keep it secret from him, I didn't tell him - for the Headmaster's sake, Severus. Sirius cares for Harry deeply, and he still didn't recovered from his grief, but I thought Albus had his reasons for keeping it secret from him - and he has already explained to me why it is so important not to tell Sirius. I, however, wanted to have a look at Harry and offer my help in anything you both need."  
  
Snape snored indignantly.  
  
"Thanks, but we don't need any help, Lupin. Especially not from you," he narrowed his eyes with hatred. "And especially not for Quietus. You are not his godfather or relative so you can leave him alone."  
  
"Severus, I'm still in the room," Harry put his hand on Severus's arm, who turned his head towards the boy. "You don't need to be so impatient and rude. Professor Lupin had helped me in the past many times, and I trust him."  
  
"He is almost as irresponsible as your godfather, Quiet. Remember your third year. He couldn't know that Black was innocent. On the contrary, he was sure about his friend's guilt, and still, he didn't help to protect you properly. I don't trust him, and now, I'm quite nervous about him."  
  
"You don't have the right to speak about me this way, Severus. I can remember perfectly that you treated Harry like shit in the last years and."  
  
"Yes, I know, I was wrong, but I always did my best to save his life while you were worrying about your friend and yourself!"  
  
"It was me, who helped Harry to conjure a Patronus."  
  
"And it was you, who forgot to take his potion when you decided to follow the kids to the Shrieking Shack! You could have killed them!"  
  
At this point both were on their feet, their faces red with anger and they shouted at each other over the coffee table.  
  
"You almost killed Sirius!" yelled Lupin so loudly that Harry winced.  
  
"In order to save Harry! I didn't know about his innocence!" Snape's eyes were glittering dangerously, and one of his hands ran through his oily hair. Then he suddenly stopped. "But I think it's unnecessary to recall all those events. You know about our secret," he released his breath heavily.  
  
The two men exchanged looks, but neither of them went on shouting. Harry shook his head with relief.  
  
"Thank you for stopping this stupid quarrel," he looked at Severus and afterwards at Lupin. "And I assure you both that I trust in you," Harry added rubbing his burning eyes with his fists. "And I have to agree with Severus. I don't need help, at least not now, and we can't tell Sirius the truth. I know that he will be mad at me once he learns about it, I can understand your motives, professor, but Sirius still has to face the Ministry and I think you know about their questioning methods..."  
  
Lupin nodded.  
  
"Yes. Sirius told me stories about it."  
  
Snape lowered his head, and his lips almost disappeared as he clenched them. Harry looked at him worriedly. He could remember perfectly Severus's remarks - but then, Severus looked at him, and Harry understood that the man was bitter about him, and his past encounters with Percy and his companions. He paled slightly. He didn't like to remember those events, the helplessness, the fear, the pain.  
  
"I see what your point is," Lupin's words ripped the uncomfortable line of memories. "I won't tell Sirius, I swear. I'll wait for you to tell him in time."  
  
After Lupin and Dumbledore left and Harry went to bed, he couldn't fall asleep. He was just lying on his sheet, his blanket wrapped tightly around him against the room's chilly air and his eyes were fixed to the ceiling, the well-known lines on it, which formed figures in Harry's imagination. One of them was like a lion with an open mouth as if he were roaring. Harry smiled as he remembered Severus's reaction when he had showed him the imagined lion on the ceiling of the Snake's Head of House. The man had been protesting for long hours - it had happened after an exceedingly horrible nightmare when Harry had been simply unable to fall asleep again.  
  
Harry hated to sleep. Harry hated the nights. Sometimes he felt he hated his whole life.  
  
At 1 a.m. he decided to read instead of the meaningless tossing and trying to sleep. He left the bedroom and taking his father's diary he lay on the sofa.  
  
********  
  
The 31st of July 1976  
  
What a disgusting anniversary is this day! I can't imagine something good can happen in this very day ever; I can see as my fears' and Trelawney's prophecy are about to be fulfilled: I will die soon. Severus joined Voldemort.  
  
Good Lord, I always wanted, hoped, begged for this day not to happen, and now... I'm now at the Potters. I couldn't remain in the same apartment in which Sever was - I left him a letter to leave him with a message that I came here. Perhaps I should have remained with him? I don't know.  
  
I got up early and I went to the kitchen to have some tea this morning. I found Severus sleeping on the sofa in the living room, in his usual black clothes. The previous evening he went to a party, at least he said it would be a party. I don't know when he arrived at home.  
  
So, he was sleeping there, sometimes groaning in obvious pain.  
  
He was crying in his sleep. He was crying and begging somebody to forgive him desperately.  
  
He tossed and turned.  
  
I wanted to help. I crouched next to him and put my hand on his forehead. He had a fever. I wetted a handkerchief and I laid it on his forehead and his wrists.  
  
Then... Good God, it's so hard even to write down! The first thing I saw was that his clothes were bloody. I thought he was injured. I removed his outer robes until he was wearing a short-sleeved shirt and pants - and... and I saw the Dark Mark burned into his flesh! It was a fresh tattoo, it was clear that he was initiated to Voldemort that night.  
  
I can't tell you what I felt, how I felt. I didn't break down right there. I got onto my feet and packed all my stuff as fast as I could. I told Sever some days ago that I would go to the Potters for the summer. I planned to go some days later: Sever and I had tickets for a concert tomorrow. But I simply couldn't remain there and wait for him to regain consciousness.  
  
I didn't want to hear his motives, his explanations. What he did - it's done, I can't alter it in any way. I lost my family, my best friend at once and for all.  
  
Harold saw my strain and distraction and he called me to talk, but I refused. He doesn't like Severus, and I didn't want to give him a chance to hurt my brother. He lost, he completely lost his chance to live, I didn't want Harold to despise him, to tell James, to speak about it at the meals... No, Severus is still my brother.  
  
He is, isn't he?  
  
I hope, I want to hope against all hopes that he still loves me.  
  
He does, doesn't he?  
  
I don't think you know him. He is probably dead when you're reading these lines, or he is locked in Azkaban. If the latter is true, please, visit him for my sake! He is not as bad as many say about him. He is just cheated by our parents! Believe me!  
  
Now, I miss Lily. Yes, you are right, but I still didn't tell her about my feelings. But in this very moment I miss her so badly! I'd like somebody next to me to understand without judging!  
  
Oh, how I hate this day! I'd curse it as the worst day ever. The day of Severus's betrayal.  
  
What does he think about me now?  
  
How does he feel?  
  
Will I see him again in my life?  
  
********  
  
Harry stared at the page shattered. His tears were pricking his eyelashes. The day was his birthday. The day he was always waiting for. And seemingly, it was the last day of life for the free and young Severus Snape.  
  
The page was crumpled by some liquid, Harry was sure the liquid was Quietus's tears. He ran his index finger on the folds of the paper and he felt his shoulders trembling with silent sobs. He really didn't need these entries to calm down. He felt Quietus's grief and he knew about Severus's feelings - the man once talked to Harry about it. The helplessness, the pain Snape had felt as he had awoken that day completely alone - but he couldn't undo the previous night's events: the murder of the Galvanys.  
  
Severus had regretted the decision he made right that night. But he hadn't known what to do, how to exit.  
  
Harry felt his hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Can't sleep?" murmured a tired voice.  
  
Harry shook his head in silence, but he fixed his eyes to the diary's pages. Severus would be upset to see him crying.  
  
"I heard you crying," the man's quiet voice was toned by worry. "Is anything wrong?"  
  
Harry didn't say a word, just tossed the book into Severus's hand. He cast a short glance at it.  
  
"I can't see the writing, Quiet."  
  
The boy sighed and read the entry. As he finished, he lowered the book and looked at Severus directly.  
  
"Believe me and believe Quietus, Severus. You deserve life and happiness."  
  
Snape didn't answer just dragged Harry to his chest and hugged him tightly.  
  
"You compel me to live, stubborn prat."  
  
"I need somebody to raise my children if I died," Harry mumbled into Severus's nightclothes. He could feel as the man's body went rigid against his embrace.  
  
"What are you babbling, Quiet?" Severus pushed him to an arm's distance to look into his eyes.  
  
"Trelawney's prophecy doesn't leave too many possibilities for me to live."  
  
"Which prophecy?" Severus snapped angrily.  
  
"In which she prophesised your brother's death, my mum's death and my temporary victory over Voldemort. The second half is about me only, it says that I have to die in order to destroy Voldemort."  
  
"NO!" The short, but forceful cry of pain interrupted Harry. Severus's face contorted in torment and he pulled Harry closer again, almost crushing him with his arms. "I won't let you die! Never, Harry. I will do everything I can to keep you safe."  
  
"I know. I don't want to die. But I'm so afraid..."  
  
"I won't let Voldemort kill my son!"  
  
Harry smiled weakly as he heard Severus's struggling to reassure and calm him down.  
  
But somewhere, deep inside him he felt his pain rising at those words and he didn't dare to imagine what Severus would feel when he, finally, lost Harry.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
"Hey, Quiet! You seem tired," Harry heard Hermione's voice as he was struggling in the library against his tiredness.  
  
He looked at the girl, who in that moment noticed his bloodshot eyes.  
  
"I seem tired because I'm tired," Harry frowned annoying. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Studying. Next weekend there will be another Quidditch match against the Hufflepuff team, and Ron is again practising instead of studying. So, I came here to study with you. I knew you're alone here anyway. Your friends are not so keen on studying."  
  
Harry shrugged.  
  
"You're wrong. Ares is tutoring a fourth year girl in potions and Neville promised to come just after he and professor Sprout finished their work in the greenhouses."  
  
Hermione chuckled.  
  
"Ares is tutoring somebody?"  
  
Harry smirked and winked.  
  
"Not just somebody, Hermione. He is tutoring Greta Lee from Gryffindor."  
  
"That blonde girl! I know her. But I didn't know she needed tutoring..."  
  
Harry shook his head rolling his eyes.  
  
"You're dense, Hermione."  
  
The girl chuckled again and opened his Potions book.  
  
"Can you tutor me in Potions, Mr Snape?" she asked in a flirting tone.  
  
"Mental."  
  
"Hey, you're the Potions Master's son! I think you're the appropriate person for tutoring!"  
  
The next moment Harry's wand was pointed to Hermione's neck.  
  
"One more word and I curse you! You are better than me in Potions to Severus's great grief! He never misses any chance to rub my noise in it!"  
  
Hermione's face lit up.  
  
"Really?"  
  
Harry leaned back and his smirk widened into an ear-to-ear smile.  
  
"Of course... not. He thinks I'm the best student in this school in every subject, including Potions. And I think he's right."  
  
"What about Defence Against the Dark Arts?" Hermione asked, and though Harry could see as she regretted it just as the sentence was out, he couldn't help become angry.  
  
"Dark magic isn't an Art, Hermione. And I'm better, much better than you think or professor Figg sees. I've already faced worse than my classmates or a stupid, middle-aged, cat-obsessed woman, and I survived it!" Harry yelled without thinking.  
  
They were staring at each other for some long minutes. The library went silent around them and all of a sudden, Madam Pince appeared at the end of the bookshelf with an indignant expression on his face.  
  
"Mr Snape, Miss Ev... Granger! The library isn't the place for managing personal affairs! You're disturbing your mates."  
  
"We are not managing our personal affairs, Madam," Harry snorted as indignantly as Madam Pince. "We had a kind of misunderstanding - but I swear we finished it. Sorry for disturbing the library's order," he bowed at the older woman.  
  
The polite words and gesture didn't miss their aim. Madam Pince returned to his desk smiling at the boy's courteous behaviour.  
  
"She almost mixed me up with somebody else, did you hear?" Hermione turned to Harry just after the librarian left.  
  
Harry shrugged.  
  
"I didn't notice."  
  
"And what about those cats?"  
  
"What cats?" Harry blinked uncomfortably  
  
"You called professor Figg a cat-obsessed woman. How do you know about her cats?"  
  
'Personal experiences,' Harry wanted to say, but he managed to swallow the words before they got out.  
  
"I know the teachers better than you. And father keeps telling stories about them," Harry compelled a blank expression on his face.  
  
Hermione cast a long, intriguing look at him before turning away.  
  
"What about accompanying me to Hogsmeade on Saturday?" she asked suddenly. "Ron has to practise and I don't want to go alone."  
  
Relief washed over Harry. Hermione was a good excuse for Neville and Ares - however, he couldn't decide how Ron would react when he heard about it. He shared his worries with the girl.  
  
"Oh," Hermione shrugged, "I've already explained to him that he was a git to you, and if he wants to remain my boyfriend, he has to accept that you're my friend," Hermione was now serious. "He didn't like it, but after that break in December he didn't want to risk another one, so he accepted my ultimatum. I told him if he ever hurt you again, I will leave him immediately."  
  
"Silly girl," Harry smiled warmly. "I can't understand why do you care for me so much?"  
  
A hint of uncertainty appeared on Hermione's face. Harry's eyes widened with disbelief. He had never seen Hermione uncertain!  
  
"I don't know, Quiet. Your presence is so... familiar. I feel as if I knew you for years. No," she lift his voice as she saw Harry opening his mouth, "I don't think you're like Harry as Ron thinks, or... well, you're like him, and you're very different in the same time." Her shoulders lumped. "I don't know, really."  
  
"It's okay," Harry mumbled embarrassed. He lifted his head, and their eyes locked.  
  
"Am I disturbing you?" a sudden voice asked. They turned their heads towards the voice's direction. Janus Moon was standing on the same place where Madam Pince had stood some minutes ago.  
  
"No," Harry answered matter-of-factly. "We are just discussing some things..." he waved with his hand vaguely.  
  
Janus cleared his throat.  
  
"I see," he said. "Er... I've just brought a packet to you."  
  
Harry turned crimson in fluster.  
  
"Thanks," he managed to croak hoarsely. Was it a gift from Leah?  
  
"Don't bother. And one more counsel," he leaned over the desk to Harry's face. "if I ever catch you around my sister, I swear I kill you."  
  
"What?" Harry felt stupid. He couldn't understand the meaning of Janus's words. "What's the problem?"  
  
"Leah didn't know why were you avoiding her in the last weeks. Well," he looked at Hermione despisingly, "she should have known. And so should I. But she was so sure about you. Like me."  
  
"But I didn't..." Harry was searching for words to apologise, but he couldn't finish the sentence.  
  
"Leave her alone, Quietus. That packet is your gift. She sent back to you." With that, he stood and left.  
  
Once they were alone, Harry leaned back and shut his eyes.  
  
It hurt, but he could understand perfectly the girl's reaction. His cold and rejecting behaviour since the winter holiday must have hurt the girl like Hell. But he couldn't help it, he just wanted to be safe, to protect himself from Voldemort...  
  
"Were you dating her?" he heard Hermione ask. He shook his head. Dating? No. They had barely spoken to each other. They were just looking and smiling. The only sign of his feeling was this gift in his hands - but now, she returned it to him, showing two things in the same time: first that she had felt something towards Harry, second that she was innocent. And he had pushed her away.  
  
A sudden jolt of sympathy attacked him. He was really about to become just as paranoid as Severus was or more so. He suspected the girl falsely, just because he had a blurry vision about somebody, who planned to hand him over to Voldemort. He wasn't any better than Ron. Well, he never hurt the girl or attacked her with unfriendly words, but his cold demeanour towards her had to hurt her perhaps more than words could do.  
  
He had a suspicion, and he acted according to it without any further concern about its truth, like Ron did towards him. Harry didn't give Leah any chance to show her truthfulness, he assumed after his vision that the most probable persons to betray him were Ares, Leah and perhaps Neville, but now, he realised that he was on friendly terms with almost all of the Gryffindors and many of the Slytherins, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. There were too many persons to be suspicious about. But he jumped to conclusions before examining their truth.  
  
He really couldn't be mad at Ron. He wasn't any better than him. Not at all.  
  
And now, he hurt Leah badly, perhaps irreversibly. To his sorrow he felt that he wanted the girl. Wanted to be around, to speak to her, to see her... But it was too late now, wasn't it?  
  
Perhaps, he would have to ask for help from Severus. They were always talking about too serious themes, like Voldemort, the Ministry, the Aurors, Quietus, frightening prophecies, bloody past, fearful future - but Harry didn't know anything about girls and things like this, and he probably wouldn't live long enough to collect some experiences of his own. He needed Severus's counsels and opinions.  
  
After some apologising words Harry left Hermione to return to their quarters.  
  
He hoped Severus had some thoughts about this situation.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Well, I try to do my best to upload before the weekend! The next chapter is almost finished. 


	15. Hogsmeade again

Betaed by Barbara  
  
Thank you for your reviews.  
  
What about THIS chapter? I was waiting for it for ages. :-)  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
Chapter 15 - Hogsmeade again  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
"So, how do you summarise the differences between Light and Dark magic?"  
  
Harry sighed and tried to collect his thoughts about the last week's readings. Severus had given him a lot to read and memorise about Dark Magic: two entire books and several articles and monographs. He had spent all his free time reading and taking notes. But the amount made his summarising now quite difficult.  
  
"I think there is only one great difference between them," he managed to say after some minutes. "The intent."  
  
"Very good. Can you explain it to me in greater detail?"  
  
"Sure. We can't speak about Dark or Light form of magic, it's not the magic which is Dark or Light, but everything depends on its user."  
  
Snape furrowed his brows.  
  
"What about the Unforgivables, then?"  
  
Harry looked at him in surprise.  
  
"I've totally forgotten about them!"  
  
"Well, then try to find the answer now. I'm sure you have read a lot about them."  
  
"Yes, I did..." Harry drew his knees to his chest and embraced them. They were in the living room in their quarters, Harry was sitting on the sofa, while Severus occupied his favourite brown armchair. "I think the problem with them is that you can't use them for Light aims. I mean you can't reach positive goals with them. You can only cause pain or death by them."  
  
"What about the Imperius?"  
  
Harry closed his eyes in thought.  
  
"The Imperius too is a kind of violence, I guess. The violation of the will," his eyes suddenly opened. "But now I can't understand why Tormenta is a Light curse. You can only cause harm and pain with it!"  
  
"A very good question, Quiet," Severus nodded seriously. "You didn't read anything about it, did you?"  
  
"No. In the books, there were only the dark curses, and I didn't find Tormenta amongst them."  
  
"Because Tormenta is not a Dark curse."  
  
Harry crossed his arms in annoyance and glared at Snape.  
  
"I don't agree."  
  
"You don't need to agree. Tormenta was - or more correctly: is - a Light spell for centuries. Only in this century, during the previous war it became the Light counterpart of the Cruciatus. It served originally pedagogical purposes."  
  
"Oh, now I can understand Figg's motives in casting it on me!" Harry said sarcastically.  
  
"Quiet. First of all: in the past physical punishment was a vital part of the education. Second: the Auror training contains physical training regimes to develop the stamina of the future Auror, who has to support pain as well as weariness, fame and others. Tormenta is a simple instrument to reach these goals."  
  
Harry shrugged.  
  
"I still can't see the difference between Cruciatus and Tormenta."  
  
"There are many differences. You know, Tormenta has no physical after- effects, not even in case of repeated uses, while a sole Cruciatus causes slight neural and muscle injuries. Not to mention that these effects are cumulative, so the repeated use of Cruciatus can cause serious and many times irreversible mental and physical disorders."  
  
Harry looked at him eye to eye.  
  
"Was that the reason you cast it on me, when...?"  
  
Snape paled slightly.  
  
"Partially, yes. But there are other differences. May I continue?"  
  
Harry merely nodded and Snape went on.  
  
"The Tormenta can be shielded against, while there isn't any shield that can stand against Cruciatus and the other Unforgivables. You can use a shield to weaken them, but you can't stop them totally."  
  
Harry leaned forward and nodded.  
  
"Third: the effects of the Tormenta curse can't be worsened, even with the parallel use of tormenting equipment or potions. The curse has no effects of the neurological system of the body: after a certain amount of pain the cursed lose consciousness. The Cruciatus, applied alongside other curses or potions doesn't let the cursed person lose consciousness."  
  
"I see," Harry said breathing deeply. "And what about the other tormenting curses? I think I know plenty of them, I'm acquainted with them personally."  
  
"Look. The use of the tormenting curses, including the Tormenta, when it's cast for other than pedagogical purposes, is severely punished, but they aren't Unforgivables, which are punished by life imprisonment or the Dementor's Kiss. Their nature is much more evil and the damage they do is harder to fix."  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
"I think it's enough for today, Quiet. I give you another book to read for the next week. It would have been the first book I made you read if I had received that blasted Defence job," he muttered sneering. "I tried to recommend it for Arabella, but she has her own ideas..."  
  
"She is rather good," Harry said seriously. "Well, she doesn't like me, but she is almost as good as Lupin was. I've never suspected it before, when I was sitting in her house with the cats, but... she's all right."  
  
Snape snorted, but didn't comment on Harry's words. The silence deepened between them, and Severus stood up and stepped up to the bookshelf and pulled his book out of it. But just before he could open it, Harry decided to ask the question he had already wanted to for a week.  
  
"Severus, how can you persuade a girl that you... that you like her?"  
  
The book almost fell from Snape's hand. He turned on his heel and his look was so appalled as never before. Harry grinned idiotically at him and shifted flusteredly.  
  
"Why do you ask it?" Snape asked back.  
  
"Well, I think it's obvious," Harry said and gulped. His embarrassment grew with every moment. "There's a girl and- and I don't know- I..." he couldn't continue. He turned totally red and averted his gaze from the man in front of him.  
  
In the meantime Severus managed to regain his composure and collapsed into his favourite chair.  
  
"Couldn't we continue with the Dark Art course instead?" he asked.  
  
Harry's jaw fell.  
  
"Are you kidding?" Harry said in total disbelief.  
  
"If you want professional guidance in Dark Magic, I can help you. But I don't think I'm the appropriate person to answer your previous question about girls."  
  
"Do you fancy men?" Harry croaked a smirk.  
  
"Don't be impertinent, Quiet. I don't fancy anybody. For ages."  
  
There was something in Snape's voice that stopped Harry teasing him any more.  
  
"Sorry," he mumbled. "I just- I just have some problems and I thought you could give me some advice."  
  
"Concerning what?"  
  
"Concerning the girl I managed to drive away with my behaviour."  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"I was suspicious," Harry said sadly. "After my vision I became so paranoid that I drove her away. I always shunned her, and avoided her and finally, she got bored and sent back my Christmas gift by his brother."  
  
Severus lifted an eyebrow.  
  
"So she was she the mysterious 'others' you wanted to send a gift via your new owl!"  
  
"Precisely. But I don't want to... lose her."  
  
"Did you date her?"  
  
"No. We just- you know. Just smiled and things like this."  
  
Snape smirked evilly.  
  
"It could be an interesting relationship..."  
  
Harry's face darkened.  
  
"It is not ridiculous! Or not more than your celibacy!" he said and he turned his look to the fire.  
  
"Quietus!"  
  
Harry just shrugged.  
  
"It's not easy to confess that I've never dated anybody, and you laugh at me!"  
  
It was Snape's turn to sigh.  
  
"Well, sorry. I didn't want to hurt you."  
  
Harry looked at him.  
  
"I want to apologise too."  
  
"Accepted," Severus said, "and who is the girl you want to win?"  
  
"Leah Moon, a fifth year Hufflepuff."  
  
"Yes, I know her. She is rather clumsy in Potions."  
  
"Marvellous. Do you always base your opinion on one's performance in that blasted Potions class of yours?"  
  
"No," Severus smirked. "Sometimes I make an exception, mostly if I have the opportunity to see them anywhere else."  
  
"All right. So your advice is: forget that girl, she is horrible in Potions, I will never give my blessing to your relationship."  
  
"You're mental. You can date her if you want."  
  
"But SHE doesn't want!"  
  
"Oh, well..." Severus tapped his chin in thought. "You should speak to her somehow."  
  
"Janus said he would kill me if I go near to his sister."  
  
"Ah, Janus!"  
  
"Don't tell me he's brilliant in Potions and so he is perfectly right!"  
  
"You are better than him so I take your side," Severus's eyes glittered merrily. "What about a common detention with her? Scrubbing desks and cauldrons?"  
  
"It would be a very romantic situation," Harry groaned. "Better idea?"  
  
"Hey, I don't intend to supervise a numberless amount of detentions with two lovesick teenagers! I just think it would be a good chance to speak to her, to fix the problems."  
  
"Severus. My biggest problem is that I don't know what to tell her. 'Sorry, but I thought you were Voldemort's agent and so I avoided you?' or what else?"  
  
"You can blame Ron's behaviour..."  
  
"Saying: 'Hey, I was so upset because of Ron that I couldn't help but shun you?' Not too good. And Janus believes I'm dating Hermione."  
  
"Well, she..."  
  
"I know! She is excellent in Potions, she would be better than Leah!" Harry cried desperately.  
  
"No. I thought you could ask her," Snape answered simply. Harry's face lit.  
  
"That's a good idea."  
  
"And when you figured out what to tell her, I will give you that detention. Right?"  
  
Harry smiled with relief.  
  
"Perfect."  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
Harry slammed the book with a loud 'thud'. 'Seeing in the Dark' was the title of it. It was the book Severus recommended to him. Harry, after finishing the second chapter, began to feel sorry that Severus had never received the Defence job. The book was an excellent one, it answered a lot of questions - and provoked new ones. But he still had some homework to work on: the Charms essay first of all about the memory altering charms.  
  
Suddenly, Lockhart came into his mind. It would be a perfect example in the essay about the 'Obliviate' spell's effects. Unfortunately he, Quietus Snape, had never met the man, and hadn't even seen him Obliviating himself with Ron's broken wand. Harry sighed and smirked, and another, unprintable example came to his mind. It was a short remark of Severus's about the repeated use of Firewhisky. And there was another warning from the Potions Master about sex and oblivion, but neither of them fitted a Charms essay, Harry thought bitterly.  
  
But then another conversation came to his mind: the conversation he and Severus had had in Nightmare Manor about the reversing of the memory charm's effects. He shuddered as he thought of the man's serious words that Severus would sacrifice his mind for Harry... It was a dreadful possibility. Harry stood up and walked to the Charms section of the Library. There were a lot of books - and many about memory altering charms, but Harry couldn't see any about the restoring part. He ran his index finger through the spines reading each title attentively. Sometimes he pulled out a book and leafed through it reading the titles of the chapters, but after two long hours of searching he still couldn't find any. He sighed and he turned to Madam Pince with his problem.  
  
"I guess you can find them amongst the medical books, or perhaps amongst the psychology books - and you mustn't skip the muggle psychology books, mainly those, which deal with amnesia," and so on, without an end. In less than ten minutes Harry had in hand almost fifty titles and Madam Pince allowed him to borrow three of the most rare books too for his father's sake.  
  
Some minutes after he sat back with the books in his hand, Neville arrived from the greenhouses.  
  
"The Charms essay?" he asked in disbelief. "But we have almost two weeks to write it!"  
  
"Well, I've found a topic I'm interested in," Harry said and ushered Neville to the chair next to him. "Your homework?"  
  
"Fine," Neville said. "Except for that Patronus curse."  
  
"That's a charm," Harry corrected him without thinking.  
  
"You sound like Hermione," Neville complained. "Where is she?" he added suddenly.  
  
"Don't know. Contrary with the popular belief I'm not dating her," Harry said angrily.  
  
"I know," Neville snapped. "But you behaved like a git in the last few weeks. Any problem?"  
  
Harry cast an apologetic look at Neville.  
  
"Sorry. Some bad news, nothing more."  
  
Neville nodded.  
  
"Care to tell me?"  
  
"Not yet. I know that I behaved disgustingly in the past weeks, but- but, look, Neville, I can't tell you. Maybe later. I don't know."  
  
"I understand, Quietus," Neville said soothingly. "I don't think your situation is easy and there are a lot of things you have to take into consideration, you can't tell us everything you want. But it doesn't mean you have to avoid us! I think Ares needs you, he is always looking for a chance to talk to you, but you don't give a damn!"  
  
"I-I..." Harry said stuttering, but he didn't know what to say.  
  
"You are still unsure about him?"  
  
Harry lowered his head.  
  
"I don't envy your situation," Neville said finally. "But I still don't think it's a good idea to avoid us. Or him. It's like as if you were playing with us."  
  
"I hate this situation as much as you," Harry snapped. "But it's not easy to decide. I'm afraid Voldemort is after Severus and..." he looked at the wide-eyed Neville. "What?"  
  
"You- you said his name!"  
  
"Father and the Headmaster say it too, and I was raised by muggles who weren't afraid to call everything by their name!"  
  
Neville stood up.  
  
"Very well. If you want to talk to us in the future..."  
  
"Hey, Neville, sit down. Don't go away. We can write that Charms essay together if you want."  
  
They stared at each other for some minutes, but finally, Neville sat back.  
  
"All right. I have plenty of free time now. Well, and I still haven't finished that Potions essay about the healing features of aconite."  
  
"I can recommend a good book, if you want," Harry unrolled his parchment.  
  
"No need. I have plenty of books. I was just too lazy to finish it."  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
The Three Broomsticks was crowded that afternoon, but Harry couldn't see anybody from the school, except from Hagrid in a dark corner, deep in conversation with a stranger.  
  
"I hope not another dragon egg," Hermione muttered. Harry smiled as he thought of Norbert, the Norwegian Ridgeback. Hagrid still had the bad habit to befriend strangers and collect impossible animals. He lifted his butterbeer to his lips and sipped a warm draught.  
  
"I think you can tell her you didn't want to endanger her," she continued their conversation all of a sudden. "It's the most believable reason."  
  
"But I don't want to talk her about such serious things. I only told you, nobody else. If I told her that Vol- er... You-Know-Who is after my father and Dumbledore thinks the most probable method that he would blackmail Severus is by using me..."  
  
"But why did you tell me? Why do you trust me more than her?"  
  
It was a totally unexpected question so that Harry couldn't open his mouth for a while. Hermione was right, he as Quietus Snape had no reason to trust her more than Leah, but-  
  
"Potter trusted you, Severus told me."  
  
"He could have been wrong..."  
  
Harry's eyes were sad as he lifted them to the girl.  
  
"It's too hard not to trust anybody," he said quietly. Hermione didn't answer just nodded.  
  
"Yeah. But... sorry I have to go," she waved towards the toilet with her head.  
  
"Of course, go. I'll wait for you," he said.  
  
He looked after Hermione as she disappeared in the crowd, when a sudden voice snapped him out of his light daze.  
  
"Snape, I want a word with you. But not here."  
  
It was Ron. An evil foreboding attacked Harry.  
  
"I haven't got anything to say to you," Harry said and turned his gaze back to the crowd.  
  
"But I have. In private. Will you come or I have to make a row right here?"  
  
Harry hesitated for a moment then he stood up.  
  
"Right. You have five minutes."  
  
"'s enough," Ron turned around and headed towards the entrance. Harry followed him closely. As they were out of the pub, Harry stopped.  
  
"Talk."  
  
"Not in the entrance," Ron waved dismissively.  
  
Suddenly, the entrance opened and a group of half-drunken wizards tottered out, almost knocking Harry off his legs. Harry shook his head and stepped aside half-heartedly. In a moment he found himself in a dark alleyway face to face with an extremely pissed off Ron.  
  
"So, this is your last stroke!" Ron hissed at his face. Harry ducked back, his expression puzzled.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"You want everything, everything that once belonged to me! My friend, my house, my family and now my girlfriend too!  
  
"I don't..."  
  
"Don't lie to me!" Ron yelled angrily. "I saw you together."  
  
"We were just talking. Nothing else."  
  
"NOTHING ELSE? What about snogging with her after Arithmancy?"  
  
"SNOGGING?" Harry couldn't believe his ears. "I've never snogged her, or more so: I've never wanted to do it!"  
  
"Stop lying, Snape. There are witnesses to it! You were so entwined in each other arms that you didn't even notice that you were not alone!"  
  
"Hey, Weasley. You contradict yourself. Now, were we snogging or embracing?" he sneered at the red-haired boy. "It's not the same!"  
  
The next moment a wand was pointed to his neck so aggressively that he could barely breathe.  
  
"So you confess to it!"  
  
"I don't have anything to confess!"  
  
Ron stepped back, but his wand was still in his hand.  
  
"All right then. You deny it. But I don't believe you. I will never believe you. Terry saw the two of you, and after that you were late for defence class."  
  
Harry gulped as he suddenly remembered. Good lord! Who'd have guessed the consequences of a simple friendly act? But he couldn't say anything. It would be too long to explain it to an angry and biased enemy. He crossed his arms and cast a despising look at Ron.  
  
"I don't fancy your girlfriend. We are only friends."  
  
"Filthy Sly," Ron's fingers became white as he clenched the wand.  
  
Harry reached for his own, but his fingers grabbed mere air.  
  
It was HIS wand on Ron's grip. He paled.  
  
"Give me back my wand, Weasley."  
  
"Why, little Sly? Do you want to hex me? To torture me? To kill me after you have stolen everything from me?"  
  
"I've never hurt you!" Harry yelled impatiently. "Give me back my wand!"  
  
"And my nose?" Ron teased him with an evil smirk.  
  
"You provoked me!"  
  
"As you provoked me! You didn't do anything all the year, except provoke me continually!" Ron snapped at him and stepped closer. Harry wanted to bend down to grab his other wand which was slipped into his boots, but he couldn't. He looked at his ex-friend's mad eyes and cringed inwardly. "But you know that fortunately there are people who don't believe you. Who see through you."  
  
"Who are..."  
  
"Percy told me an interesting detail about you," Ron's smirk widened and his eyes narrowed dangerously. Harry began to panic. "Your little scars all over your body."  
  
He poked Harry's chest with the wand, and drew it towards his shoulders. Harry couldn't move in his half-panic, a nauseous feeling emerged in him. Ron pricked his shoulder and his arms.  
  
It began to snow. Some snowflakes tickled his face. Harry shuddered.  
  
"Oh, you don't like it!" Ron smirked and leaned into Harry's face. "I can do more than a simple nudging, you know it..."  
  
Harry paled and closed his eyes in horror. He felt as if he suddenly found himself in a torture chamber, exposed and humiliated, and totally impotent.  
  
"Leave me alone," he mumbled, but he was sure Ron wouldn't release him without...  
  
"No. I won't."  
  
The snow increased. It had been snowing for five days, so the snow covered everything, it was up to Harry's knees. As he staggered back, he sank even up to his trousers. He felt as snow entered his boots.  
  
"I don't care that pathetic life-debt, Sly," said Ron as he drew the wand over Harry's neck, throwing the scarf away from him. The wind barked into Harry's exposed skin.  
  
"Leave me alone," Harry repeated, hating himself for his damned weakness.  
  
"You are not so brave now, are you? Your precious father is not here to save you!"  
  
A greater wind-blow drove a large amount of snow into Harry's neck.  
  
"Revelo," Ron muttered sadistically and Harry was very grateful for the hat was pulled over his eyes covering his scar on his forehead. But Ron wasn't interested in his forehead. He was examining the red lines appearing on Harry's neck. "Pretty scars, Sly."  
  
The wand now followed the scars' route. Harry's blood froze. He couldn't even open his mouth anymore.  
  
"You know, that there exists a pretty curse, which can deal beautifully with your scars. Do you want me to try it?" Ron asked, looking at Harry's dilated pupils.  
  
Harry shook his head violently.  
  
"Percy told me about it. But I think I want to see it in practice."  
  
Harry's shoulders slumped. Ron leaned to him again, and he whispered, as if he would like to say something secret-  
  
"Culter."  
  
The Knife Curse. Harry remembered it, however, he had experienced only once, by Severus's hand.  
  
It had been horrible, but that time he had had no scars all over his body, which now went up in flames and Harry fell onto his knees in the sudden and almost unbearable pain.  
  
But he didn't give Ron the satisfaction of yelling, crying in pain. He clenched his teeth tightly and opened his eyes. The snow under him was dotted with blood. His cuts had reopened again.  
  
And still, Ron didn't want to finish the curse. Harry, only half-conscious and totally burning with pain, collected all his willpower, reached to his left boot and pulled out his real wand with one movement.  
  
"Stupefy," he croaked in an absolutely hoarse voice.  
  
He heard Ron's body hitting the ground, but the pain didn't decrease. On the contrary, he felt his clothes becoming soaked with blood. He reached out for his scarf and with a painful move wrapped it around his neck. But he still was unable to stand up.  
  
Harry crept to Ron and pulled his father's wand out of the boy's grip and slipped the other back into his left boot. He sat on his heels.  
  
"Ennervate," Harry whispered pointing at Ron.  
  
Ron stirred and opened his eyes. As he realised that he was defenceless, and his enemy was kneeling in front of him with a wand pointed at him, he paled violently.  
  
"I could take revenge now," Harry whispered, and he could feel his consciousness going slowly away. "But I won't. You are worse than Voldemort. But I won't tell Severus what you did. He would kill you. Truthfully. But never, NEVER come near me again."  
  
Helping himself up with his hands, he rose. The world was whirling around him, but he ignored it. He didn't look back. He didn't know how he got to the pub's entrance either.  
  
He felt somebody's arms around him.  
  
"It was Ron, wasn't it?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Don't tell Severus, please. He'd kill him. Please."  
  
He didn't hear the girl's answer.  
  
In the dark alleyway Ron was sitting in the whirling snow, his eyes fixed on the spot his rival had been lying in.  
  
It was red. It was angry red with blood.  
  
Blood.  
  
Blood everywhere.  
  
Ron reached his hand and touched the place his enemy was kneeling when he took his wand back. It was still warm and steaming in the icy air.  
  
What did he do?  
  
Suddenly, the events of the last half year began to fill his mind.  
  
He wasn't bad. He wasn't unfair. He wasn't biased.  
  
He was evil, more evil than the Dark Lord.  
  
'You are worse than Voldemort.' The words echoed in his mind and he had to agree.  
  
Quietus had always been fair to him. He tried to befriend him. He was a quiet, shy boy, only his prejudice showed him an intruder, an arrogant bastard. His prejudice - towards his father!  
  
Quietus had saved Neville. Quietus had saved Seamus. Quietus had beaten Malfoy. Quietus had saved him of all people. After all he had said and done to him. After all Percy had said and done to him. How could he treat the boy like this? How could he be so cruel?  
  
How could he remedy the problems he had made, to repair the injuries he had caused?  
  
Something in his head said he couldn't.  
  
And he couldn't help but understand.  
  
What he had done wasn't something to be fixed easily. Or to be fixed at all.  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
"HAGRID!"  
  
The scream shocked the pub's guests. The conversations stopped, the mugs of butterbeer halted in their way towards the thirsty lips. A pretty, brown- haired girl stood in the door with a look of utter horror on her face.  
  
"Hagrid, come! Hurry!"  
  
The half-giant blinked at the compelling tone, but he obeyed nevertheless.  
  
"What's on, 'Mione?"  
  
"It's Quiet," she explained hastily. "He fainted. Blood loss. Something has happened," she grabbed Hagrid's hand and tugged it violently. "Hurry, please!"  
  
"I have to pay the bill..."  
  
"NO! Come, please," she tugged him again.  
  
Hagrid cast an apologetic glance towards Rosmerta, and she nodded in consent. They left the pub.  
  
The snow around Harry was red with blood.  
  
"Oh, my God!" Hagrid couldn't move.  
  
"We have to bring him to the school, as fast as possible! You can carry him!" Hermione snapped him out of his trance. "Lift him and come!"  
  
Hagrid cautiously collected the limp body into his arms and lifted as softly as he could.  
  
"You don't have to be cautious! He's unconscious, he doesn't feel anything!" Hermione tapped impatiently. "Let's go now!"  
  
But they barely made a step when a cold voice stopped him.  
  
"Where's Quietus?"  
  
"In my arms, professor," Hagrid answered obediently. "He's unconscious."  
  
Snape staggered. Hermione grabbed his arm.  
  
"We have to bring him to Madam Pomfrey now!"  
  
"What happened?" the professor asked the tear-soaked girl.  
  
"I- I don't know. I went to the toilet. I left him alone for three or four minutes. When I returned he was nowhere to be seen. Somebody said he just wanted to have a word with someone, but he would return soon. I waited for ten minutes then I decided to look for him. I left the pub and I found him at the entrance, half-unconscious. He fainted. I called for Hagrid," Hermione explained gasping for breath as they struggled to keep pace with the giant's enormous steps. Hermione was almost totally blinded by her tears, so her steps were more tottering than Snape's. When she finally fell onto the ground, Snape helped her up and forced her to take his arm.  
  
Hermione later couldn't remember their trip's details. It contained a lot of tottering, falling, staggering, a lot of tears on all their parts, except for the unconscious Quietus, a lot of cold and icy wind, and most of all it seemed centuries while they reached the school's gates.  
  
In the Infirmary somebody pushed a mug of hot tea into her hand, and her outer robes were stripped from her together with her wet boots, and she poured the hot tea in somebody's lap, and finally she was crying on the shoulder of a very surprised Potions Master. This last piece of memory was the only fixed point amongst the evening's events.  
  
It was a little bit later when Quietus regained consciousness and mumbled something to Snape, which sounded like 'I have to be killed by Voldemort, dad, don't worry,' and Snape replied some nonsense to it.  
  
Later she was lying on a bed, her blanket wrapped around her tightly. The Infirmary was dark, and somebody cried. It was Snape, kneeling beside the bed; his head leaning on his son's hand. Quietus was still unconscious. Hermione didn't dare move so as not to embarrass her teacher any further. She was thinking instead. Thinking of Quietus and Ron. Mostly Ron.  
  
In the morning, just after Madam Pomfrey gave her permission to leave the Infirmary, she dressed and left the dazed teacher with his still unconscious son. She marched to the Great Hall, but Ron wasn't there. Seamus said that he was still in the dormitory.  
  
"Hermione, what happened yesterday evening? I saw you with Snape and Hagrid and you were er... taking Snape's hand..."  
  
"I was," Hermione nodded fervently. "And Hagrid was bringing Quietus in his arms. We found him in a pool of blood next to the Three Broomsticks."  
  
Seamus paled, and Hermione saw that Neville dropped his fork.  
  
"How is he?"  
  
"I don't know. He hasn't regained consciousness yet. Madam Pomfrey won't allow anybody to visit him. She isn't sure he will live through the day."  
  
With this, Hermione stood up and walked to Gryffindor Tower. She stood in front of the steps that lead to the boy's dormitories, and cried from the top of her lungs.  
  
"Ron Weasley! Come immediately!"  
  
She didn't have to wait too long. But just as Ron appeared, she grabbed him and left the common room. He pushed the obedient boy into an empty classroom and cast a silencing charm on the room.  
  
"It's over, Ron. What you did is unforgivable, and whether Quietus survives or not, I don't want to speak to you ever again in my life. I warned you. If he survives I won't tell his father what you did, because he asked me no to with his last words, but if he dies, my first act will be to go to professor Snape WITH YOU, and I will tell him the whole story. BUT WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO HIM?" she shrieked the last words. "WHY? ANSWER ME!"  
  
Ron collapsed onto a desk, his hands clinging powerlessly on his lap.  
  
"I was jealous. I thought you cheated on me." He didn't dare to look at the girl.  
  
"IF YOU THOUGHT THAT, WHY DIDN'T YOU SPEAK TO ME FIRST? I was your girlfriend, if I had cheated on you, it would have been MY decision first of all, not his! I had obligations towards you, he didn't! What did you cast on him?"  
  
"The Knife Curse," Ron gulped, his voice was barely above a whisper.  
  
A sharp crack shattered the deep silence. Ron's face was burning where Hermione's slap hit him.  
  
"Was it Percy's suggestion? Was it he, who told you Quietus's secret? And you used it against him - a thing he was not responsible for, a thing, he was suffering so much for, and YOU USED AGAINST HIM? I can't believe I've ever thought of you being a human! I can't believe I was dating a bastard!"  
  
"Hermione, please..."  
  
"Shut up! I'm not interested in your pathetic excuses! Not any more! And if you ever come close to Quietus, I swear I will kill you personally!" With that she stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind her with a loud bang.  
  
Ron stared at the door desperately. But she didn't come back.  
  
She never came back.  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
The door of the Infirmary creaked slightly, but the sound seemed too harsh in the silence. Harry could see as the blurry figure, who was sitting next to his bed on a chair turned towards the door angrily and hissed.  
  
"You can't..." but he couldn't finish.  
  
"How is he?" asked a second voice. Harry felt as the tension of the sitting figure decreased somehow.  
  
"Madam Pomfrey says he's better. And I think so too."  
  
"May I come in?" the owner of the voice asked timidly. The blurry figure nodded, and the door opened more.  
  
Hermione entered the room.  
  
Harry was a little bit appalled by Severus's behaviour.  
  
Severus stood up and dragged another chair next to the bed.  
  
Harry suddenly wasn't sure if he was awake or not.  
  
Hermione took the offered chair and sat on it, pulling her knees up to her chest.  
  
"I was so afraid that he..." she didn't finish, just trembled.  
  
"Me too," Severus whispered and Harry again was astonished at the friendly tones.  
  
"But now... he will survive, won't he?" a hint of hope toned Hermione's voice.  
  
"Of course," Severus tried his usual tone, but in Harry's opinion he failed.  
  
After a short break Hermione opened her mouth again.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"For what?" Severus's voice was clearly NOT cold. Just surprised.  
  
"For bringing me back."  
  
"You came back on your own feet, Miss Granger," Snape waved away the thanksgiving. "And I think I owe you a thank-you. If you hadn't acted so fast..."  
  
"And we both owe Hagrid," Hermione interrupted her teacher. Severus had to feel really poorly, because he didn't even try to snap for the impertinence.  
  
"I think I owe both of you," Harry settled the short and quiet argument in a hoarse voice.  
  
Both of them jumped to their feet.  
  
"You're awake!" they cried in unison.  
  
Harry cracked a half-smile as he looked at their embarrassed faces.  
  
"Not entirely," he said and struggled to sit up.  
  
"Stay still," Severus placed his palm on his chest and pushed slightly.  
  
"I'm thirsty," Harry insisted.  
  
Severus helped him to sit up, and Hermione carried a glass of water. When she tried to help Harry to drink he furrowed his eyebrows and took the glass from the girl.  
  
And - of course - he poured its contents into his lap.  
  
Hermione snickered, Severus smiled and Harry blushed.  
  
"I did the same yesterday," Hermione remembered.  
  
"It wasn't the same, Miss Granger. Your drink was boiling hot, and you poured not into your lap, but into mine. You nearly castrated me."  
  
He said all this in a deadly stern voice, but both Harry and Hermione couldn't suppress a laugh.  
  
"Hey, dad, you said that you..."  
  
"Don't dare to open that big mouth of yours!" Severus lifted his index finger warningly. Harry shrugged, and he drank the second glass cautiously from Hermione's hand.  
  
After Harry leaned back to his pillow, Severus's expression darkened and he crossed his arms over his chest, tapping his upper arm with his fingers in nervousness.  
  
"Who was it?" he asked.  
  
Harry sighed.  
  
"I won't tell you. It was a mistake, and we settled it. I don't want to speak about it again."  
  
"Quietus!" Snape said menacingly.  
  
"No, Severus. I won't tell you."  
  
"You are defending somebody."  
  
"What an obvious observation," Harry shut his eyes. "I made a promise, Severus. I will never tell you. You would act hastily and thoughtlessly. I want you to be with me. I don't need you in prison."  
  
"I..." Snape began, but Harry yawned loudly.  
  
"I'm sleepy," he said and he turned on his side.  
  
He could feel as careful hands tucked the blanket around him, and he could hear as Hermione argued with Severus, that the man needed some proper sleep and food, and he fell asleep relieved as Severus resisted and stayed with him.  
  
He wasn't awake when Hermione returned with a tray of food and he missed the long, quiet conversation between the two as well.  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
In front of the sneering gargoyle Ron was waiting for a teacher to give him the password to the Headmaster's office.  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
Hey! I was enjoying myself writing it!  
  
Next: Wednesday (if my permanently inhabitant guests will let me write...) 


	16. Tragic consequences

Betaed by Barbara  
  
Thank you for the reviews!  
  
There were a lot of remarks concerning Lupin's behaviour, so I feel I owe an explanation. I think that Lupin in the 'canon' (in the JKR books) cared for Harry, but he never was too enthusiastic about him. He is a well- balanced, but perhaps a little bit cold man for my taste...  
  
:-) But don't worry: he will have his task, and a very important task at that, in this story.  
  
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Chapter 16 - Tragic consequences  
  
**************************************************************************  
  
There were many things professor Snape was wrong about.  
  
One of them was that he had always underestimated Hermione Granger.  
  
But he abruptly revised his opinion about her just as she asked her first question after Harry fell asleep.  
  
No, Hermione Granger wasn't only an annoying, little know-it-all. He had been wrong when he had told Harry that during their captivity.  
  
The first thing that had caused him to change his opinion was the girl's mature behaviour the previous evening. Not to mention her behaviour during the first half of the school year. These weren't just light causes. But it was the second thing that compelled him to revise his opinion. It had been a simple question, but it had knocked him out for long, very, very long minutes.  
  
It was:  
  
"Professor, why do you pretend to be Harry's father?"  
  
It should be mentioned that she had cast a silencing spell previously, so nobody could eavesdrop them.  
  
His first thought was to deny the statement, but the finality and the sternness in her voice hindered him from doing that. Instead, he sighed and relaxed. Somehow, it seemed right that she knew their secret.  
  
"I don't pretend," he said simply.  
  
Hermione's eyes grew wide.  
  
"Do you- are you telling that you're his father?" she asked with disbelief. "But how...?"  
  
The professor shook his whirling head as if to clear it.  
  
"How did you figure out that he is Harry?" he asked instead in return.  
  
She shrugged.  
  
"It wasn't too difficult," she began, "however, the fact that I saw him buried with my own eyes prevented me from realizing it for a long time. But there were many signs. The first of them was his behaviour. He is shy and he can't stand to be touched, and many other things, which were the clear proof that he was abused, though first I assumed wrongly that his family maltreated him. Later I realized that he had to be abused magically, because he couldn't conjure a shield. Then I thought of You-Know-Who, and I was quite sure that he abused Quietus, but there were problems with the timeline. When was he abused? It had to happen after you and Harry escaped from him - but the Weasleys saw you in Diagon Alley some days after..." she furrowed his brows. Snape nodded amusedly. The conclusion was perfect. Hermione went on. "He was almost desperate for Ron's and my friendship. Why us? It wasn't something obvious for a Snape, and Ron's reaction was a really natural response to that, when he thought Quietus was sneaking and spying on us. And he was too familiar with the Gryffindors. He was too familiar with everybody from the first moment. And many other things. Fang recognised him. The Wingardium Leviosa spell. I can't recall everything."  
  
"But when did you realise it?" Snape said curiously. "All these things were known weeks ago."  
  
"It was yesterday night," Hermione didn't look into his eyes. "When I saw you crying. I don't know why was this the key to realising it, but... it was. However, I had a strange feeling all yesterday evening," she closed her eyes in thought. "It was our conversation. There was something strange. I asked him why did he trust me. He said he needed somebody to trust. It was something Harry would have said in a situation like this. And," she scratched her neck, "there was another thing. I saw Hagrid talking to a stranger and I mentioned Norbert to him..."  
  
"Who is Norbert?" Snape furrowed his brows suspiciously.  
  
"A Norwegian Ridgeback," Hermione smiled slightly. "It was Hagrid's pet dragon."  
  
"PET dragon? But the law..."  
  
"We told Hagrid, but," Hermione waved desperately, "he didn't listen to us. It doesn't matter now. It happened in our first year, and Quietus Snape couldn't know about it. But Harry Potter was there. And when I mentioned Norbert he smiled as if he knew the story. I got suspicious at that time."  
  
"But then how did you realise he is Harry just because you saw me cry?"  
  
Hermione leaned back in her chair.  
  
"I saw you in the funeral and the night before that. I saw how much you... cared for Harry. Probably, it was the consequence of your common captivity, I don't know. And when as I saw you cry I thought that you love Quietus as much as you loved Harry. And somehow it came to my mind that Quietus is so alike Harry as if they were the same person. Then I remembered the family spells, or more precisely the adoption procedure, which gives the adopted the possibility to become physically similar to his step-father or mother, and everything clicked into his place then. You adopted Harry, didn't you? Is this the reason you pretend to be his father?"  
  
Snape opened his eyes and looked at the sleeping form in the bed. He reached his hand and caressed slightly the boy's face. Harry smiled in his sleep and snuggled into the simple touch. Severus smiled in return, and smoothed the blanket around Harry's shoulder though it wasn't crumpled.  
  
Hermione didn't press him any further. She was waiting for the answer calmly.  
  
"It was James Potter who adopted him, not me," Snape said finally.  
  
Hermione's eyes glittered with understanding.  
  
"It was Quietus Snape, wasn't it? Your brother."  
  
Snape couldn't help but gape at her like a fish.  
  
"How...?"  
  
"The library. Madam Pince once mixed me up with Harry's mother, Miss Evans. She was his mother." It was a conclusion, not a question.  
  
"Yes," Snape somehow managed to choke out.  
  
"I'm so sorry for Quietus. Instead of two dead parents he has three now. He, probably, feels more an orphan than before."  
  
For the first time in his life, Severus Snape looked at the girl sitting in the chair next to him and examined her thoroughly.  
  
He SERIOUSLY underestimated her. Probably, he really had to give his resignation. He got to know only two of his students from another house, Harry and Miss Granger, and it came out that he had misjudged both of them. It could mean that he had misjudged a lot more of his pupils before them just because of his prejudices. He had always accused the Headmaster of being biased towards the Gryffindors, but he had been wrong. Perhaps, he had been right in the very beginning of his schooldays, but Dumbledore had changed a lot since then in judging persons - the Headmaster had accepted even him, after all he'd done.  
  
It was still Black's deadly prank on him that made him misjudge even Albus, just because the old man hadn't expelled the ruddy dog.  
  
"I hope he doesn't feel an orphan anymore," he said finally, turning his head back to Harry. "I hope..."  
  
"No, you're right," came Hermione's reassuring answer. "He considers you his father, and he cares for you dearly."  
  
They didn't continue the conversation afterwards. Severus was too tired to do it and Hermione was seemingly lost in her thoughts. She, finally, excused herself and went to prepare her lessons of the next day (there would be a double potions amongst them!) and Severus was left alone with the sleeping Harry.  
  
Several times, Madam Pomfrey checked on them and once she even brought a cup of coffee to her colleague.  
  
"You should sleep a bit, Severus."  
  
"I can't," he refused her simply, and she accepted the answer.  
  
"The Headmaster wants to talk to both of you, as soon as Quietus awakes."  
  
"I will Floo him."  
  
Madam Pomfrey nodded and left.  
  
Severus drank the warm liquid slowly, savouring its taste with every draught.  
  
Sometimes, he caressed Harry's hand.  
  
He felt peace. Harry would be all right soon.  
  
**************************************************************************  
  
The world was too bright; Harry thought when he tried to open his eyes. The light was blinding him, it attacked his exhausted nerves, and Harry felt pain. His scar was tingling too, and he frowned as he suddenly remembered a vision he'd just had. The details were all blurry and unintelligible, but it was something about the girl Voldemort had been looking for, Goyle reported that they'd found the city she was living. Since the girl hadn't been with him, Voldemort had cast the Cruciatus on him, which had sent Harry's whole body in flames again, and just as he lifted the blanket a little bit, he could see blood dots all over his pyjamas. His non-healed cuts reopened again, however, not too much.  
  
It hurt. And he was dizzy and nauseous and terribly cold. And he missed Severus, who wasn't in the Hospital Wing at the moment.  
  
Harry rubbed his aching forehead and cleared his throat. It was strange that Madam Pomfrey hadn't checked him: his throat's condition suggested to Harry that he'd been rather loud as he suffered through the vision rather aloud.  
  
Still, nobody came. Harry drew the blanket up to his chin and cocooned himself as much as he could, but it didn't help. He was cold; he began to tremble. The cuts on his back were burning aggressively. Tears filled his eyes.  
  
"Severus," he moaned quietly. He didn't want anybody to hear him, he just longed for Severus's assuring and loving company.  
  
After a few moments Harry turned on his left side, because there were less cuts there and curled into a ball, hissing through his clenched teeth in pain. He tucked the blanket around himself with clumsy movements, buried his head into his soft pillow and closed his eyes. After a while he dragged the blanket over his head to heat the air up behind the blanket with his own breath. It worked a little, but his back felt ice-cold, and he could even feel as the blood oozed through his clothes.  
  
Where was Severus now that he needed him so desperately?  
  
His trembling grew harder. Blood loss, again. His fight with Ron had happened just about 30 hours ago, and he barely survived that encounter, and now Voldemort managed to torture him even further. He wrapped his arms around his knees tightly, clenching his legs helped him to overcome the attacking physical pain, as the after-effect of the Cruciatus lingered in his limbs.  
  
He fell almost unconscious just as the Infirmary's door opened.  
  
"Severus?" he whispered hopefully, but just as he looked at the entering people, he got frightened. The first person he saw was the Headmaster, followed closely by Ron and Madam Pomfrey. Severus was just after them with Hermione, who was apparently trying to keep the professor calm. Not to mention the two Weasley parents, Lupin, Anne and a big, black dog behind the group.  
  
Visitors! They believed him being well, or at least better. Well, they were wrong. Harry shut his eyes and suppressed a nervous sob. The group stopped at his bedside, and Dumbledore smiled at him sadly.  
  
"Quietus?"  
  
"Severus," Harry managed to whisper. He looked at the tall man and their eyes locked.  
  
Snape panicked. Harry's look didn't mean anything good. The next moment he was kneeling at his side, his head in the same level as Harry's.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"The cuts..." Harry couldn't continue, but he didn't need to. Severus lifted the hem of the blanket and cast a short glance under it. What he saw made him become totally white. "I'm so cold," Harry added not caring the others.  
  
The Potions Master stood up and looked at the others.  
  
"Albus, you should leave. Quiet is not well."  
  
The Headmaster nodded and ushered the group towards the door.  
  
"What's wrong with Quiet?" Anne asked in a voice thin with fear and looked up to Lupin.  
  
"He is ill. He had an accident," he added and cast a murderous look at Ron, who paled and gulped, his face contorted in pain and regret.  
  
"We'll be outside. Call for us when you're ready," Dumbledore said and closed the door quietly.  
  
Hermione stayed behind, but Snape seemingly didn't care. Instead, Severus slipped his arms under Harry and gathered the fragile body into his arms.  
  
"Poppy, the usual draughts," he looked at the mediwitch as he strode across to the bathroom with Harry.  
  
"Vision," Harry mumbled into his shoulder so that only Severus could hear. "Cruciatus, again."  
  
The embrace tightened around him, and Harry felt as Severus opened the bathroom's door with a kick of his foot. The man looked around searching for a place to put Harry until he opened the tap, but he didn't need it: Hermione ran to the bathtub and Harry could hear the running water and feel the hot steam filling the air.  
  
While the water was running into the tub, Severus held him rocking slowly.  
  
"Everything'll be all right soon," he said and buried his face into Harry's hair.  
  
Hermione was standing in front of them looking at the picture wide-eyed, but just as Madam Pomfrey arrived, she ushered the girl out. The two adults disrobed Harry, Madam Pomfrey stopped the oozing with a quick spell, and Severus lifted him cautiously into the hot water.  
  
Harry relaxed in the warmth. He was almost asleep when they returned him to his bed, which Hermione had changed for their return.  
  
"Quiet, you can't sleep yet," Severus murmured into his ears. "There is something we have to fix."  
  
"Not now," Harry felt his lips trembling with exhaustion and embarrassment. "I'm so damned weak..."  
  
"You're not, son."  
  
The words seemed to give Harry enough strength to sit up, but he leaned to Severus, whose arm circled his shoulder protectively.  
  
"Let's get it over with," Harry said firmly, but in a weak voice after some minutes.  
  
Severus nodded and releasing Harry he went to call the waiting group in. As they entered the Infirmary, Severus sat back at Harry's side, and Ron stepped forward opening his mouth, but just as Harry saw him, he shook his head.  
  
"I don't want you to be here. Get out," Harry said and pressed himself tightly to Severus. "I don't care what you want to say."  
  
The adults' expressions mirrored perfect understanding. Even Mrs Weasley nodded to Harry's words.  
  
"I want to apologise..." Ron hurried to say, but Harry interrupted him.  
  
"I'm not interested in your apology. I don't need it. It doesn't ease my situation. Get out."  
  
"Quietus, please," Ron said pleadingly. "Let me explain..."  
  
"NO!" Harry yelled, but it sounded rather weakly. "Nothing can justify what you did! Get out now!"  
  
Mrs Weasley grabbed his son's shoulder and they left. Harry could hear the woman's yelling from the corridor. He turned his face to Dumbledore.  
  
"What do you want to do with him, Headmaster?" he asked politely, and yawned.  
  
"I should expel him," Dumbledore looked back, and something was twinkling in his eyes.  
  
Lupin and Mr Weasley nodded in agreement, the black dog barked, Severus grunted approvingly, only Anne was staying still. Harry smiled at her and shook his head.  
  
"No," he said calmly.  
  
Indignant gasps and agitated groans filled the room. Harry shrugged.  
  
"I don't think it would be a wise idea. Perhaps, this accident brought Weasley to his senses..."  
  
"But you didn't want to speak to him!" Mr Weasley sounded astounded.  
  
"I don't want to, really, but that's another topic. I don't agree with his expulsion. He needs another chance now."  
  
The dog groaned with disapproval. Harry cast a sharp look at him.  
  
"You can't say a word, Sirius. In some similar situations you were forgiven," Harry felt the world blurring around him, again. He drew his legs up to his chest and closed his eyes. "I won't testify against him."  
  
"I think the argument is over now," Snape said and laid Harry on the bed and turned to Dumbledore. "He is too exhausted to continue it. The most important thing is fixed, though." The Headmaster nodded. Snape stood up, but Harry's hand sneaked out from behind the blanket and grabbed his outer robe.  
  
"I'm happy you didn't hex Ron," Harry mumbled half-asleep.  
  
"But Black nearly did," Snape couldn't help but smirk. The dog scowled.  
  
Anne stepped closer and leaned toward Harry's face.  
  
"Will you be better?" she asked worriedly.  
  
Harry opened an eye, and reached one hand to the girl's face caressing her clumsily.  
  
"Sure, Anne."  
  
**************************************************************************  
  
The next two days were too crowded for Harry's taste. Madam Pomfrey managed to convince Severus that Harry had to stay in the Infirmary, and all his friends got the chance to talk to him now that he was unable to flee. His first visitor was Ares, and later Neville. Harry didn't tell them what happened in Hogsmeade, but both of them knew of it, and they assured him it wouldn't have happened if he had gone there with them. Harry nodded and agreed, because he didn't want to argue.  
  
Fortunately, his conversation with Ares wasn't only about Harry's accident. Harry asked him about his winter holiday, continuing the conversation they had begun several days ago, and Ares opened up to him. He told him his family's reaction to his father's allegiances, his mother's behaviour, and his relatives' expectations towards him.  
  
"They all blame dad, not because he joined You-Know-Who, but because he let himself be caught. They aren't Death Eaters, you know, but almost all of them are supporting the Dark Lord. And they expect me to do the same," he shook his head. "I don't know what to do this summer. I don't want to go home. Not anymore."  
  
Ares made Harry remember his own summers and relatives, and he thought to himself that perhaps the Dursleys hadn't been as bad as he had thought of them. At the end of their long talk, Harry suggested he visit the Headmaster or his own Head of House with his problem - now that the war had begun they couldn't risk losing a student. Ares didn't like the idea of talking to the Headmaster, but he promised to visit Snape as soon as he could. Harry was relieved, he was sure Severus would find a way to solve Ares's problems.  
  
The conversation with Neville was more disturbing. His friend knew for sure that Ron had attacked Harry, and he had hurt him seriously: he had seen and heard Hermione's agitated words and behaviour the previous breakfast. He even told Harry that Hermione had broken up with Ron, and she had retired to her studies to the library, avoiding the Gryffindor rooms completely.  
  
"Ron is just sitting on his bed. He's already missed three meals. I think he's finally indulging a little introspection. Perhaps it's too late for you, but hopefully it's not too late for him," Neville said. "I wonder why the Headmaster or your father didn't have him expelled."  
  
Harry just shrugged. He didn't even want to think of Ron. Instead, he changed the topic and asked Neville what he was planning to elaborate on in his Charms essay on memory altering charms. Neville chose the topic of the difficulties in partial memory alteration - when only a little piece of memory was altered, or some motives of a certain memory. They discussed the topic for a long time, later Hermione joined them adding her part to the argument. She even brought some books from the library - Madam Pince sent them for Quietus personally.  
  
"So, you kicked Ron out," were his first words to her just as soon as they were alone.  
  
"I finally got sick of him," she said firmly, but the undertone of her voice was sad.  
  
Harry looked at her.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"It wasn't your fault, stupid git!" Hermione exclaimed.  
  
"I know but I'm still sorry. I feel sorry for you."  
  
"I think you can be sorry for yourself too," Hermione said mysteriously.  
  
Harry jerked his head up to her.  
  
"How do you mean?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
"You've lost his friendship," she said simply.  
  
"I can't lose something I've never had!"  
  
Hermione leaned forward.  
  
"Harry, I..." she couldn't finish. Harry jumped to his feet, his face paled.  
  
"Oh, my God," he whispered. "It can't be true..."  
  
"Lie back, stupid git," Hermione smiled at him reassuringly. "Your father will be mad at you if he knew you were out of bed today."  
  
"But- but you..." Harry trembled.  
  
"Professor Snape knows I know. I told him and Dumbledore too," she said.  
  
Harry couldn't move, just shook his head continuously in terror. Hermione stepped up to him and pushed him to the bed. After a short resistance Harry yielded and climbed back to the bed, still trembling in shock.  
  
"I was stupid. I should have waited longer," Hermione chided herself quietly. "You've got your own problems without my..."  
  
"No, Hermione. It's all right. It was only a bit... unexpected to say the least." Suddenly, something came to his mind, and paled violently. "Does- does Ron know?"  
  
Hermione shook her head.  
  
"No. The Headmaster has forbidden me to tell anybody. Not that I wanted to," she said sadly. "I can't trust Ron anymore. What he did..."  
  
"He thought you cheated on him. With me. You have to tell him I've never..." Harry began frantically, but Hermione waved dismissively.  
  
"No, Quiet. I'll never return to him. Something has... has broken in me. The trust, the respect.  
  
I... I don't think I can be his mere friend anymore. And- and how do you feel?" she looked timidly at Harry.  
  
Tears filled Harry's eyes, and he lowered his head.  
  
"I'm afraid I feel the same way you do..."  
  
He couldn't continue. The door opened with a loud boom. Severus stood in the door, his face sallow, his eyes fathomless.  
  
"Black has been caught in Dumbledore's office. The Aurors took him to Liberty. The Headmaster is suspended now," he swallowed. "I'm afraid that just as soon as the governors learn about it, they'll fire him."  
  
**************************************************************************  
  
Harry dumped the soil around the jimson weed and risked a short look to the other side of the desk. Professor Sprout put together Neville and him with Hannah and Leah, and Leah was working exactly face-to-face with him. She clasped her silky hair in a ponytail not to disturb her in her work in the greenhouse, but long locks escaped from the tail falling into her face, tickling her cheeks. Harry could barely resist the urge to reach his hand and tuck the mahogany locks behind her ears.  
  
An elbow sank into his side.  
  
"Quietus!" Neville hissed warningly.  
  
Harry turned his gaze to the plant fast, and he felt the blood colouring his cheeks. He leaned over the table to pick up an empty jar, and poured another sack of soil onto the desk. As he reached out for another jar to plant a new piece of jimson weed, from the corner of his eyes he could see that Leah did the same. Before he could avert his motion their hands met.  
  
Leah jerked her head up and cast a murderous look at Harry, who blushed even more if it was possible.  
  
"So-sorry," he gulped and tried a tentative smile. The reaction was worse than before. Leah's look turned into a glare, and Harry's heart sank, but his eyes lingered on her for some more moments. Finally, he sighed and grabbed another handful of soil.  
  
Somebody cursed him, he was sure. His whole life had been miserable, and its continuation wasn't any better.  
  
His godfather was taken to Liberty, the new wizard prison, again without a trial, the Prophet dedicated almost the whole front page to him, they wrote that the magic had been deprived from him the day they had caught him, like the case of Ares's father, and he couldn't do anything about it. Now Sirius wasn't more than a simple muggle, and Dumbledore was suspended because of that, the verdict in his case would be returned the next week... There were times in his life when Harry felt too much the things, which happened to him. This was one of those times.  
  
Severus had even shared his suspicions with him about the new headmaster's identity, and Harry got nauseous whenever he thought of Lucius Malfoy as the new Headmaster of the school. Draco Malfoy had already behaved as if his father had been elected, however, the other candidate for the job was professor McGonagall, and she had a fair chance of winning over Malfoy senior at least theoretically. But Harry could see on the teachers' faces that they shared Severus's evil forebodings and neither of them was looking forward the changes. The tension during the lessons reached the highest levels, and even Harry could barely survive double Potions with Severus, who deducted fifty points from the two houses (forty from Gryffindor, ten from Slytherin, of course).  
  
Harry gained five days of detention in the defence class for sheer incapacity to answer a simple question (Harry had been perfectly lost in his thoughts), and even Hagrid was so strict in his Care of Magical Creatures lesson that he deducted ten points from Slytherin for Zabini's behaviour. Harry smiled at this memory: since Zabini had learned that Dumbledore's possible successor would be a Malfoy, he had been craving to regain the son's trust again. Stupid git. Those months of unfaithfulness, which had been given to him by Harry's fight, wouldn't go forgotten. Ares and Harry exchanged identical, despising looks as they saw Zabini's struggling. Zabini hadn't even tried to join the son of his Head of House, or to remain separated, like many others. His servility was disgusting. Ares, to the contrary, showed his loyalty towards 'Quietus' (and through Quietus towards Snape and Dumbledore) with absolute openness, however, Severus had told him that he would have to return home for the summer holidays.  
  
Grave anticipation fell to the school.  
  
And Leah didn't show any signs of forgiving Harry. He was cursed, he was sure. Well, from time to time, he reminded himself of Severus's care or Hermione's friendship and even of Ron's silent behaviour, and he was truly grateful for them, but he couldn't help feeling cursed.  
  
As the bell rang, signalling the end of the class, Harry almost fled from the greenhouse. He nearly bumped into Ron, who was standing irresolutely in the entrance, alone as the Gryffindors ignored him for what he'd done. Harry circled him cautiously, feeling as disgust and embarrassment stirred in his chest at Ron's sight. The humiliation he went through that night was much stronger than any physical pain he had ever had to suffer. Harry could almost feel the red-haired boy's teasing...  
  
"Quietus," he heard the unsure voice from behind. Harry shuddered and went on without looking back.  
  
"Now, I'm Quietus," he muttered to himself. "What happened to the 'filthy, little Sly'?" Only frustration roused in himself, not rage.  
  
Suddenly, an arm grabbed him. Harry shouted in fear, jumped, slipped and fell onto the ground. Just as his body hit the snow-covered path, he turned into his back, his father's wand in hand pointing towards his attacker. In vain. Neville's wand was pointed already at a very appalled Ron's neck firmly.  
  
"Never touch him again, Ron, without his permission," Neville hissed. Ron's eyes widened with realisation.  
  
"I just- I just wanted..."  
  
"If he doesn't want to speak to you, you can't compel him. You can't 'want' anything."  
  
Harry had never seen Neville so determined. He was almost... fearful.  
  
"Mr Longbottom! What do you think you're doing here?" Professor Sprout came angrily. "Put away that wand before you injure Mr Weasley! And ten points from Gryffindor for fighting."  
  
"Professor Sprout," Harry jumped to his feet. "It was just a misunderst..."  
  
"Mr Snape?" she cast a cold glance at him. "I don't need your explanation. Go ahead, the break is almost over."  
  
Harry opened his mouth once, then shut it. He nodded and turned around, facing the school's gates.  
  
"Thanks, Neville," he said after they reached the Great Hall.  
  
"You're welcome," Neville smiled.  
  
Harry thought he had to revise that 'being cursed'-feeling. However, it wouldn't give Sirius back his magic. Sirius... after twelve years in Azkaban and two short years in relative freedom running from the law, even his magic had been deprived from him once and for all. The Ministry's usual way of acting... Torturing and condemning people without proper trials, causing irreversible damages because of blind prejudices...  
  
Sirius surely had been tortured again.  
  
Dumbledore would have to leave soon.  
  
Voldemort was waking, and he was looking for a way to get him again.  
  
Severus's future boss would be the person who had tortured him so mercilessly last summer.  
  
In the meantime, Harry reached the door of their personal chambers. He pressed his index finger to the white dot, and hurried in, longing for a little quiet.  
  
Harry sighed and pulled his Dark Arts book from the bookshelf. He would study instead of unnerving himself with the news.  
  
The letters were dancing in the dim torch-light, but Harry didn't want to put on more torches. He felt the shady room was cosy and comfortable - no, not the dark room, he hated dark in its every shape, but the shady place. It was so home-like and familiar, it made him always remember their common days, which had formed them into a family.  
  
With a sigh, Harry forced himself to concentrate on the present chapter, which was about the Unforgivables, their history, use and the possible defence against them. Harry knew that there weren't any technical defences against these curses, so he was appalled when he found an entry in the book, which said:  
  
'There are ways to dodge even the three Unforgivable curses. These are:  
  
1. Strong will and determination against Imperius.  
  
2. Acceptance of pain and situation against Cruciatus.  
  
3. Love and sacrifice against Avada Kedavra.  
  
The above mentioned characteristics, which help the cursed to dodge the curses are the most important characteristics of a Light Wizard.'  
  
There WERE possibilities to fight them.  
  
Harry found the first familiar, and he smiled as he thought of his old self and his determination. He was scared and it was the coercion, which had made him go through the Triwizard Tournament rather than his determination... And his will had only been concentrated on survival. What a pathetic motivation!  
  
The second topic was familiar from Nightmare Manor, when Severus had taught him of the importance of suffering and pain. It didn't mean however, that he never felt any pain, not at all! The pain was still there, the only difference was, that his world wasn't centred round the mere feeling.  
  
The pain of the Cruciatus was crueller when he concentrated on it. If he ignored it as much as he could, it was somehow easier.  
  
But the third topic about the Killing Curse was entirely new. Or... not entirely new, because it was his mother's sacrifice, which had saved him so long ago. But how could he be saved again in another situation? Would his mother's sacrifice be enough to save him again?  
  
Silliness. Voldemort would never try to kill him with the Killing Curse again. He had his ways to torture and kill, he didn't need these two words...  
  
He was still thinking about it when Severus got home after dinner.  
  
"You didn't have dinner," were his first words, and he ordered a late meal with a short wave of his wand. "Why?"  
  
Harry closed the book and put it on the coffee-table, taking a plate of sausages from it in return.  
  
"I didn't want to. In the morning Hermione lent me her Prophet, because she read about Sirius," his voice faded, and he felt his throat get extremely thick. "They... what they did to him is perhaps worse for him than... than everything. He is like a muggle now, and he is in prison again, and he is still innocent," his voice cracked, and he buried his face into his palms. His hands, however didn't stop at his face, they went on, into his hair, and Harry grabbed his hair in his inner pain. "And he doesn't even know that I'm alive! He probably thinks that he failed, his friend's son has died... they took everything from him, everything. And I, Severus, deprived him of myself too," he couldn't continue. A cry shook his body. "I should have told him," he coughed through the sobs.  
  
Strong arms circled him.  
  
"I wish these last days never happened," Severus said in a sad voice. "We couldn't do anything to save Black from this fate. They took him, and since they wanted to catch him for years, it was the first thing they did."  
  
"He's alone now..."  
  
Both shuddered in sympathy.  
  
"Where is the Headmaster now?" Harry asked finally.  
  
"At my Manor. They didn't question Bl... Sirius, so they don't know that my Manor is the order's Headquarters, and, most fortunately, they don't know about you." As Snape said the last words, his arms clutched Harry stronger. "Thank God."  
  
"But... they can still question him," Harry said. "They can know these things at any moment."  
  
"Yes, they can," Severus nodded. "This is the reason the order is moving now. Even Lupin and Anne will change houses. They will go with the order."  
  
"So, Snape Manor will be empty again?" Harry's heart stopped for a moment with this thought. "It sounds so... terrible."  
  
"For me too," Snape sounded amused. "I've never believed once I would find it sad that Lupin, Black and Fletcher leave my house..." his expression suddenly changed. He became deadly serious. "Quiet, our situation will be much harder."  
  
Harry looked at him, their eyes locked.  
  
"Dumbledore won't be there for us. He has his own work to do in this war. The new Headmaster, most probably, won't be Minerva, but Lucius Malfoy," Snape paled at the name's mention, "and this fact will have its consequences. It will be harder to keep the two of us safe. You should be even more cautious. Never leave the school's grounds."  
  
"I won't," Harry promised solemnly.  
  
"Never touch anything you don't know the origin of."  
  
"Right."  
  
"Don't befriend anybody. There is still an agent amongst your friends."  
  
"I'm very well aware of it," Harry said darkly.  
  
"I know. Other rules: never irritate Draco Malfoy. He will try everything to repay you for your behaviour to him, and possibly, he will even try to help his father to take you to Voldemort if he has the chance."  
  
Harry nodded, but his hands trembled. All that Severus said sounded too real to be comfortable.  
  
"And what about you?" he asked the man.  
  
"These rules go for me too, of course."  
  
"Try to keep up, Severus. Malfoy will try to torment you if he has the chance."  
  
"I know, Quiet."  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
"You know, Hermione asked me, what will be my name after the war."  
  
Severus was very grateful for the change. He smiled at Harry with mild interest.  
  
"And what did you answer?"  
  
"Well, I don't think I will live to see it..." Harry lifted his look at the ceiling, "but if I can survive, I will keep Quietus Snape. I will only add 'Harold' as the second name, if it's possible."  
  
Severus cast a vary glance at him.  
  
"It means that you don't want to be Harry Potter?"  
  
Harry averted his gaze from the ceiling.  
  
"Your brother is my father. You are my family, not just because you received me back into the Snape family, but- but... really. You're my dad, aren't you? So Quietus Harold Snape will be perfect for me. It will assume everything that was important to Quietus, to James, to you and to me. Everything." Harry smiled at Severus. "Anyway, I can't believe there will be a time when I won't respond to 'Harry'. Is it okay for you?"  
  
"Of course, Harry. I always think of you as Harry, anyway."  
  
"Really? Not Quietus?" Harry blinked in disbelief.  
  
"Stupid question. I'm fond of YOU, HARRY POTTER, as you should have realised long ago. It's not that I love my brother in you, or myself, or my family's last offspring, you, stupid prat. If you chose to keep the Potter name, I wouldn't say anything against it. Or even more, if you weren't my nephew, I would still be proud to be your step-father."  
  
"You- you do mean that, don't you?" Harry smiled happily. All of his depressive thoughts flew away. "Hey, Severus, do you know that I'd accept you as my step-father even if I wasn't related to you?"  
  
"You'd accept the mean, greasy Potions Master?" Severus's eyes twinkled the way Dumbledore's used to do.  
  
"Of course!" Harry cried indignantly.  
  
"And what would you do if I turn back to my old self all of a sudden?"  
  
"I'd find the way to get through your walls again." Harry said with finality, but a sudden, bad feeling touched his heart.  
  
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	17. Headmasters

Betaed by Barbara  
  
Sorry for the delay: ff.net had its usual annoying problems.  
  
Guests went away. I'm free to write, finally!  
  
And many thx for all who reviewed!!!  
  
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Chapter 17 - Headmasters  
  
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The 11th of February, 1977.  
  
It was Severus's fault. I've decided to do a research on the Dark Lords through the centuries, just because he joined the brand new one, Tom Riddle, and there were a lot of surprising facts.  
  
But let's begin at the beginning (where else anyway?). The first thing I wanted to know is whether I have Dark Lord ancestors or not. I did a thorough research on the Snape family, because it's the larger part of the family, but I had to state that the Snapes turned Dark only after the "Bloodshed of Ipswich" in 1887, when some drunken Aurors slaughtered the half of the Snape family as a consequence of a misunderstood letter, and the Ministry (which was so like the Ministry of today!) glossed over the entire situation. The remainder of the family, almost 20 persons, joined Sir Dranton (he was the actual Dark Lord at that time), except for a certain Severus Snape, the grandfather of my father. After Dranton's downfall he remained the only living Snape: the others fell in the war or were executed after it. He had four children, three boys and a girl, and only one of them was dark, unfortunately he was my grandfather, the first- born, Severus, who had only one son, my father, Severus (I hope the name of Sever's first-born will anything but Severus). I hope you are NOT Severus. Well, you are my child and I'm only the second son, not the first...  
  
So I assume: fortunately the Snape family never gave a Dark Lord to the world. All the dark Snapes were only pitiful servants of powerful and cruel so-called lords. I pity them, really, just as I pity Sever. He's an idiot. Working for a firm, which products Healing Potions and the meanwhile killing people... No. I don't want to think about him.  
  
Let's see the other half of the family: the Noblestones. Once upon a time it was a huge family, with numerous relations in the whole world. Now, mother is the last living Noblestone. Her closest relative is Narcissa Lestrange, my cousin, her deceased sister's child, (now she's about to marry Lucius Malfoy the 'Smiling Killer') - and the Noblestone family will disappear into nothingness after her death. The only half-living remainder will be Saevus, the Bloody Baron, lurking in the empty corridors of Hogwarts, scaring little first years... Pathetic end of a noble, rich, pureblood family, isn't it? Now, as Narcissa and Severus finished their Hogwarts studies, Saevus is obsessed by me, as his only relative here, giving me wonderful ideas how to break school rules without serious consequences - if you need any help, just ask him, your grandmother was a Noblestone, so he will certainly help you. He's able to localize even Dumbledore in the school - I think he is the Headmaster's only real rival now (at least in lurking in Hogwarts). Voldemort isn't anything but a pathetic excuse of a dark wizard in comparison with Saevus, believe me.  
  
The Noblestones were always dark. But there weren't any Dark Lords amongst them, and they were mostly neutral in the Dark-Light wars during the centuries. Well, some of them fought on the dark side - but there were others in the Light side as well, if their interests linked them to it. And the family's interests were and are always the first on the list for the Noblestones. There's even a spell on the family members: those who are related by blood are unable to harm each other. Perhaps once, this will be useful for you. I'm sure Lucius's offspring will fight against the Light Side in your war too. That offspring will be your second cousin. Beautiful relatives, I can say!  
  
So, you can calm down: we are not unknown offspring of Dark Lords or anything like that. But I want to ask you: don't judge the other dark families too fast! We are of Dark origin too. Give them the chance to prove themselves. Perhaps even Lucius's child won't be so bad... I hope.  
  
But be careful with Lucius! I'm sure he is still living in your time, I wouldn't be too appalled if he were the Minister in your time - he is very ambitious after all. His father wasn't a noble man, just a very clever and rich wizard, who married a pauper noble girl in order to attain nobility. He is cunning, but insidious, and he surely will hate you with a passion. You know, he hates the idea of noble-common marriage (ridiculous with his origin, isn't it?) and I don't think I will marry a noble girl just to be accepted by him. If Lily will marry me, your mother will be a mudblood - a real shame for my family, don't you think?  
  
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Harry shook his head with amusement. Quietus's opinion of Lucius wasn't too high. What would he say if he knew that the man would be the next Headmaster? Harry still hoped that the governors would elect McGonagall, she had been teaching in Hogwarts for more than fifty years and she was the deputy Headmistress for many long years, so she would be the ideal person for the job.  
  
But Harry could remember precisely the governors' behaviour towards Lucius Malfoy in the past. They were feeble and corrupt, and now, their detest towards Dumbledore weakened McGonagall's chance as well. The latter was Fudge's fault, clearly. The Minister made a declaration about Dumbledore in the Prophet, in which he had expressed his disappointment over Dumbledore's careless behaviour in meeting an infamous, pursued criminal in a SCHOOL of all places... The article was so disgusting, and it had accentuated the fact that Professor McGonagall had been a trusted colleague of the fired Headmaster and so on...  
  
Harry felt hatred towards the Minister. Fudge should have known that Malfoy was a Death Eater by now! He had questioned Severus and even Nott about Voldemort, but he had never given a damn what people confessed under Veritaserum. He was just as paranoid as Voldemort about the concoction. Fudge was almost materialistic. He believed only what he could touch with his own hands or see with his own eyes, and if the touched or seen thing was something he didn't want to sense, he created a good explanation of it. Malfoy's case was like this. The man was Voldemort's right-hand person; the fact was attested by several testimonies. And Fudge didn't care. He wanted to believe Malfoy's innocence, so he did.  
  
There was nothing could be done about sheer stupidity. Harry began to feel the truth of Severus's usual tirades.  
  
Now, Malfoy would have total power over the most important institution of the Wizarding World: Hogwarts. Harry's home. A shelter for many students. It would be a very huge Nightmare Manor soon, Harry was deadly sure.  
  
Still, McGonagall was the temporary Headmistress, and things went on like before, and the winter slowly turned into spring. The exams grew nearer, sometimes the teachers forgot about the possible changes in the future as they raised the pressure on them. Harry managed to work off the detentions and he was free to study in his free times - he somehow had survived THAT detention too, however, the results hadn't been too bright - or more precisely Leah had sent him to the Hell, just after Severus had left for a while to give Harry a chance...  
  
But Harry didn't give up Leah's case. At least, he thought, he had managed to apologise for his behaviour after the winter holidays.  
  
The only thing that disturbed him to no end was his friends' overprotective behaviour of him. They accompanied Harry wherever he went, checked everybody he talked to, Neville and Ares seemed to share the days between them: the only existing refuge from them was the library - but there was Hermione. Perfect bodyguard system!  
  
The staff meetings multiplied significantly, Severus spent five evenings out of seven in McGonagall's office arguing about the possible changes and prospects after Malfoy's arrival, but Harry knew he and the Headmistress were also worrying about the leak in the staff. Harry and Severus took into account every staff member day after day guessing and arguing about the possible spy, but they didn't find any sign to help them.  
  
McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout, Trelawney, Vector, Sinistra, Figg, Hagrid...  
  
Severus's guess was Hagrid, and even Harry had to agree with him that most probably it was Hagrid who blurted out the staff's secrets in Hogsmeade after two-three Firewhiskeys. Harry had confessed to Severus that it had happened at least once, in his first year...  
  
This evening the lines on Severus's face were deeper than ever when he finally got home. Exhaustion radiated from his every move, as he removed his heavy outer cloak, as he hung it on the rack, as he tottered to the armchair, and collapsed onto it. Without a word, Harry ordered a tea with a short wand-wave, and put into the man's hand.  
  
"It's decided then, I guess," Harry said finally rather hoarsely.  
  
Severus merely nodded.  
  
"When will he take over the office?"  
  
"Monday," was the short answer.  
  
"That's tomorrow!" Harry cried with dread.  
  
"Precisely."  
  
**************************************************************************  
  
Monday was a nightmare. Malfoy arrived just after breakfast, so the first lessons were cancelled officially, and they had to remain in the Great Hall to listen to his speech. Harry's stomach churned painfully as they were waiting for the man. Last time he had met him, he had been in Nightmare Manor, in a torture chamber... His hands were ice-cold, and cool sweat ran down his spine. To avert his attention from the next days' possible events, he examined his mates attentively. To his surprise, more than the half of the Slytherin House didn't seen too happy with Malfoy's arrival. On the contrary, only Draco Malfoy's gang cheered loudly and exchanged merry glances. Ares's face was tensed, Janus and his friends whispered nervously amongst themselves, and almost the whole seventh year glared angrily at the younger Slytherins. Harry knew they were Severus's favourites. None of them turned dark. One third of them were Outstanding in their studies, and moreover, they were the first to greet Severus after the summer's happenings. The boys imitated his style of dress, and all of them copied his manners. Janus's year, the sixth, wasn't entirely light any more, and from Malfoy's appearance, from the fifth year down to the first, the blonde boy's influence was undeniable.  
  
The dislike of the other houses was even more obvious, mostly that of the Gryffindors. While the Ravenclaws and the Hufflepuffs were sitting in silence and pale-faced, the Gryffindor table was noisy, hands were clenched into fists, teeth gritted, faces red with rage.  
  
Harry levelled his gaze at the professors' table, which was decorated for the next event. Three empty seats were left in the centre of the table, between McGonagall and Severus. The professors tried their best to behave normally, but even their faces contorted when Malfoy marched in. Yes, marched. He didn't just enter or stride, but marched sumptuously with Fudge by his left and some other Ministry representatives. Arcus Patil was amongst them; he was the only person with a serious, or even sad expression.  
  
Some Slytherins began to applause and the teachers followed them with a sour look. Fudge bowed at them, his smile was wide in obvious contentment. Harry caught Ron's expression and for a minute he felt sorry for their lost friendship. It would have been so nice sitting next to him making rude comments on the marching group, and rolling their eyes at Hermione's reprimands over their childish manners - but no, they were separated, and Ron was as alone as Harry was in the beginning of the year. Instead, it was Neville, who made his observations and Dean giggled nervously, while Hermione cast a vicious glare at them from time to time.  
  
Harry turned his eyes back to the Slytherin table and saw that many eyes were on him, except Malfoy's followers, as if his mates were waiting for his reaction, or his leadership? It wasn't entirely impossible: he was the son of their Head of House after all! He smirked disdainfully and crossed his arms over his chest. Harry was aware that he was almost identical to Severus with this gesture, but it was his main aim. Many smiled at him, and imitated his gesture. In a little while, half of the Slytherin table was cheering and applauding loudly while the other half just sat with crossed arms in silence.  
  
As Harry's eyes wandered to the Hufflepuff table, he saw Ernie grinning at him and crossing his arms in the same manner. Slowly, almost every Hufflepuff mirrored him along with the whole Gryffindor table... then, to his utter dismay his eyes caught Terry Boot at the Ravenclaw table winking at him and folding arms.  
  
Gradually, the applause faded and turned into an uncomfortable silence. Harry felt an elbow digging into his side.  
  
"Draco knows it was you," Ares hissed into his ears. Harry just shrugged. He saw as Malfoy, Fudge and Patil stepped up the table and took places. For a short instant his hand tightened as Severus cringed a shade, but fortunately, Patil occupied the seat adjacent to him, not Fudge or Malfoy. Both Harry and Severus relaxed.  
  
"Good morning, everybody," Malfoy greeted school with a snarl-like smile. His audience stared at him inimically. Somebody groaned thunderously at the Gryffindor table, and giggles rouse from the same direction. McGonagall's face darkened with concern.  
  
'Be careful with Lucius!' Harry almost heard his father's never-heard voice echoing in his mind. The Smiling Killer - as he had called the silver- haired, handsome man. Harry remembered this smile from the torture chambers all too well. He understood the professor's worry. Malfoy was too dangerous to be played with.  
  
So he remained in silence, with folded arms, looking directly at the Head Table. Meanwhile, Malfoy went on.  
  
"...I hope our cooperation will be long and fruitful ... the previous leadership's mistakes in choosing questionable characters to teach ... a less liberal conduct ... sterner rules …" the words and sentences were like a waterfall, they ran endlessly, all pointing to one direction: dictatorship. "... and, naturally, there could be no exceptions. No students without being sorted ..."  
  
Harry's breathing stopped as he jerked his head up and looked at Malfoy wide-eyed. The eyes of the new Headmaster were on him.  
  
Harry shuddered. It was the worst news he could imagine. Did it mean that he couldn't live with Severus? Most certainly. Suddenly, he felt tired.  
  
"The sorting of your friend," Malfoy accentuated the last word with sarcasm, "will take place today, before lunch, so after that he can have his meal at the proper table with the proper mates of his."  
  
And he had no time remaining, Harry thought in half-panic. But he schooled his expression into a blank one and shrugged at Malfoy. Perhaps the changes would avail him. Perhaps he was putting off re-integrating into a larger company for too long and it would be useful to move on. Perhaps it was time to stand on his own and to learn to handle his nightmares and visions. Perhaps he was ready to be seen and touched accidentally by others.  
  
Harry cast a reassuring smile at Severus, who just inclined his head in response. They would need some time to talk about the new situation.  
  
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"GRYFFINDOR!" the Sorting Hat shrieked triumphantly. The Great Hall sat in stunned silence. Of course, Harry thought sarcastically. He had pulled out Godric Gryffindor's sword out of it, hadn't he? The Hat recognised him immediately, McGonagall didn't even have to put it on his head. It yelled as soon as it felt Harry's presence.  
  
Harry curled his mouth in disgust. He didn't have any time to discuss his wishes with the blasted hat - he agreed with Severus that the best place for him would be in Ravenclaw, and Harry was sure he fit perfectly in that house too. If he had been sorted into Ravenclaw he would have kept even his Slytherin sympathisers and friends. What would Ares say? How did he feel?  
  
Harry looked at his friend, and Ares nodded at him reassuringly. Well, he had told Harry that Slytherin House wasn't too safe for him now - but perhaps, Gryffindor was a little exaggerated for his taste... But no, Ares didn't seem disappointed. On the contrary.  
  
Now, Harry turned to Severus and opened his arms slightly to show him his impotence. Severus cast a very Snape-ish glare at him and Harry nearly heard him snarling 'Potter!' with annoyance. Harry grinned and strode across to the 'proper table with the proper mates' and sat automatically on his old, usual seat between Ron and Neville, facing Hermione.  
  
Just when he sat down, the Gryffindor table erupted with a huge cheer, and Dean Thomas leaned to Harry yelling into his ears-  
  
"From now on even Gryffindor can earn points in Potions!"  
  
Harry shook his head with amusement and winked at Hermione, who rolled her eyes at him. After the noise quieted, Harry stood up and turned to the other tables.  
  
"I just want to say, that even now I'm first of all a Hogwarts student, your mate as I was before," he looked at the seventh years Slytherins, Janus, Ares and the others calmly. "There's a war, and we are allies in it. Never forget it."  
  
Just as he was seated again, Malfoy opened his mouth.  
  
"You were not allowed to speak, Mr Snape, in public."  
  
Harry smirked at him.  
  
"I didn't know there existed rules against it."  
  
"Twenty points from Gryffindor for your impertinence," Malfoy sounded satisfied. Certainly, he had been dreaming about taking points off from Gryffindor for years. Harry couldn't suppress a choke. The whole situation was just too familiar. Except that he had never been punished by a Malfoy before. McGonagall's stern expression snapped him out of his thoughts and he shrugged at her apologetically and followed the professor's gaze to the giant hour-glasses on the walls. Well, Ron's behaviour had its appalling consequences, Harry thought, but at least his loss now wasn't too painful, regarding, that even the Hufflepuff was 113 points ahead of the last Gryffindor.  
  
"I s'pose this year Gryffindor can't win the House Cup hands down," Harry muttered quietly. "Well, at least winning will be much more sweet!"  
  
"You're mental, mate," Neville snickered.  
  
Harry reached for the salt, and his hand bumped into Hermione's books.  
  
"That double Potions with the Slytherins tomorrow..." he heard someone complaining.  
  
"Want some Skiving Snackboxes?" Fred asked in return.  
  
"... and I acquired a new camera..." Colin explained to someone enthusiastically.  
  
The conversations around him dazed him as a lullaby. Everything was so familiar. So soothing. Harry closed his eyes contently. Perhaps, returning to Gryffindor wasn't the worst of all the possibilities after all.  
  
Hermione dragged him after lunch to Hagrid's hut. They were slipping in the fresh mud - the first sign of the approaching spring. Ares stepped next to him.  
  
"Are you all right with me?" Harry looked at him seriously.  
  
"If you're all right with me..." Ares shrugged.  
  
"Nothing has changed, Ares. I'm still the boy I was in the morning."  
  
"So am I," Ares arched an eyebrow.  
  
"Perhaps you should spend more time in the library," Harry said.  
  
"Perhaps I will," Ares answered mysteriously.  
  
"I don't like common rooms. They are too crowded for study."  
  
They couldn't continue the conversation. A hand grabbed Ares from behind.  
  
"You won't be allowed to talk to him anymore," Malfoy said while Crabbe held Ares's arm.  
  
"Let him go," Harry sneered dangerously.  
  
"You can't give me rules, Malfoy. My family is just as well-ranked as yours. Even if your father's 'liberty' is a little bit different from mine," Ares said angrily.  
  
Crabbe gazed at Malfoy vacantly. The blonde-haired boy's pale face turned into an ugly reddish colour.  
  
"How dare you imply..."  
  
"Imply?" Ares asked mockingly. "I didn't imply anything. But tell me, Malfoy, why are you so upset that I spoke to your cousin? Are you jealous?"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"Watch your tongue, Malfoy! Just because your father is..." Ron stepped up to them in rage, but Harry's palm shut his mouth up.  
  
"It's not your business, Weasley," Harry hissed at him. "Can't you see this is a Slytherin problem? Go back to your Gryffindors," he said and pushed him away. The next moment his eyes were on Malfoy again.  
  
"You're not a Slytherin, Snape," Malfoy told him sneering.  
  
"Why not? Just because an old piece of clothing had its blurry ideas about my mind-structure, I'm not less Ares's friend and your mate than before! Don't be ridiculous!"  
  
Harry's answer froze all the listeners. Harry looked around and shrugged.  
  
"You're dense. All of you know that I could be fine in every house. All this house staff is a nonsense!"  
  
Mouth opened with protest, but Hagrid's arrival fortunately interrupted the argument, and nobody wanted to go on with it after the lesson. As they filed back to the school, Harry joined Ron at the school gates.  
  
"Weasley," he said coolly. He wasn't yet comfortable with him. "Don't interfere in Slytherin stuff again. And mostly, don't interfere in Malfoy's business again."  
  
"I just wanted to support you..."  
  
"Don't you think I'm more capable to defend myself against them than you? I know what's going on now. You don't. Stay away from situations like this."  
  
"But..." Ron protested, but Harry didn't wait the ending.  
  
"I don't care what your arguments are, Weasley. You owe me several things. Now, I ask you not to interfere. I don't think it's too expensive of a gift for your life."  
  
The coldness in Harry's voice and his reasoning shut Ron. The red-haired boy nodded solemnly.  
  
"Thanks," Harry said and left.  
  
**************************************************************************  
  
"If you have any visions, come to me immediately," Severus was pacing the room up and down nervously. "If you are in pain, come to me immediately. If you have nightmares..."  
  
"... come to me immediately," Harry completed the sentence. "I know, Severus."  
  
"I will put on a permanent fire in my fireplace. You can come always, whenever you feel it needed."  
  
"Yes, and I've already packed a whole jar of Floo powder," Harry began to feel giddy watching Severus's pacing. "Can't you stop this pacing for a moment?" he groaned finally.  
  
Severus cast a short glance at him, but didn't stop.  
  
"No, I can't," he barked.  
  
"I'm nervous too," Harry said.  
  
"I'm not nervous. I'm frightened. You aren't healed yet and..."  
  
"Severus, perhaps it will do me good."  
  
"Or perhaps not."  
  
"But I can return every time I want."  
  
"Be careful, Harry," Severus's face softened as his eyes were laid on Harry. "I- I..."  
  
Harry stood up and crossing Severus's route stepped in his way.  
  
"Everything will be all right, dad," he said and hugged the man tightly just as he bumped into him.  
  
"Your trunk... wasn't good. Too familiar. I put your things into my old trunk..." Severus whispered into Harry's hair.  
  
"Shell-N9, isn't it?" Harry elbowed him playfully. "And what about the Invisibility Cloak?"  
  
"I kept it to myself. I won't give it back to you. But..."  
  
"I know. Don't break too many school rules," Harry smirked.  
  
"No. Try to avoid the Malfoys."  
  
Harry released him.  
  
"I will come to you every evening after dinner. Right?"  
  
"Harry, I ..."  
  
"I know. I will be careful. Don't worry. We'll survive."  
  
Severus accompanied Harry to the Gryffindor Tower. The walk was slow and silent, the nervousness tightened their throats. This would be the first night separated since August for both of them.  
  
"Drink the Dreamless Sleep potion today. The first occasion is always the worst. Tomorrow will be easier," Severus said finally as they stood in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady.  
  
"Okay," Harry somehow managed to say.  
  
"Go now. Good night."  
  
"Good night, dad," Harry said and turned to the portrait. "Brevi tempore," he said and turned back to Severus. They grinned at each other.  
  
"I see. Gryffindors are optimists as always..."  
  
Severus squeezed his shoulder reassuringly and left.  
  
Harry entered the Gryffindor common room with a sigh. His old-new life had just begun.  
  
'GRYFFINDOR RULES!' was written with large letters on the wall facing the entrance. It was the first sight Harry caught as he entered the room.  
  
"You're finally free from those Slytherin prats, mate!" Fred nearly jumped on him. "Welcome to the best house of Hogwarts!"  
  
Harry grew tense.  
  
"I'm still a Snape, Weasley," he growled.  
  
"What did your father say now that you're a Gryffindor?" Seamus asked.  
  
"Well, it was unexpected. We both thought I would be a Ravenclaw," Harry smirked.  
  
"Was he angry?"  
  
"Why should he be?" Harry asked back. "We think it's safer for me than Slytherin with the Malfoys within."  
  
"Is it true that Malfoy is your relative?" somebody asked.  
  
"Yeah. And the Bloody Baron too," Harry grinned satisfied. "Well, can you show me my room? I think the house-elves have already brought my things there."  
  
"Sure," Seamus ushered him towards the spiral staircase. "Over here!"  
  
The bedroom was as cosy as Harry remembered: a round room with five four- posters hung with deep red, velvet curtains. His trunk had already been brought up and it stood at the end of his old bed.  
  
"It was Harry's," Seamus whispered, and the other boys, who in the meantime had filed into the room, nodded. "It doesn't disturb you, does it?"  
  
Harry's mouth trembled.  
  
"No," he muttered hesitantly. "But I don't know if- if you are okay with me," he said and looked directly at Ron. "I don't want to occupy his place. Neither physically, nor mentally."  
  
Ron turned around and shrugged.  
  
"If you take it, it will be your place," Ron said in a lofty voice. "It's okay for me."  
  
The other three boys looked at them expectantly. A slight tension lingered between them.  
  
"It was not my choice to come here," Harry said finally. "I'd rather be with Severus in the dungeons."  
  
Everybody shifted uncomfortably.  
  
"Well..." Dean said after a long silence. "We need some time to get used to each other, seemingly."  
  
The tension eased. The boys began their usual preparations for bed. Ron, feeling obviously uneasy left the room. Harry carefully waited until the last person finished the washing; he went to the bathroom quite late. He was still having the shower when Ron came.  
  
The red-haired boy did his best to avoid Harry, his sight in the bathroom was as shocking for him as for Harry.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't..." he muttered flushed bright red in embarrassment, but he never finished his sentence. "Oh, my God," he said instead, staring frozen.  
  
Harry followed his gaze and cursed aloud.  
  
He forgot the concealing charms again. His scars were apparent all over his naked body.  
  
"Forgive me..." Ron somehow managed to croak. "Oh, my God, Quietus."  
  
Harry glared at him coldly.  
  
"Get out, Weasley," he hissed, pulling his towel before himself. "Now, you got what you wanted to..."  
  
"No," Ron shook his head. "I- no..." He swallowed so hard that Harry could hear clearly. "I swear you, I didn't know... I thought... Percy said..."  
  
Harry was growing angry. His towel was getting soaked under the shower, and he again felt humiliated and exposed. Even if Ron's intent was friendly or he tried to apologise, the situation wasn't the best for that.  
  
"I said get out!" Harry yelled.  
  
"Quietus, please," Ron still didn't understand the situation. Harry was wondering if Ron had been always so dense.  
  
"Please what?" Harry's hands turned white as they grasped the soaked towel. "You were tormenting me for months. You almost killed me. Now, you are still here watching me naked... How could you humiliate me even more?" sarcasm dropped in his voice.  
  
Ron shuddered, turned on his heel and left the room.  
  
Harry retched in nervousness.  
  
Stupid incident.  
  
And it was only the first evening.  
  
**************************************************************************  
  
The next day they had double Potions with the Slytherins. Harry sat on his usual place next to Neville, and awaited Severus's arrival nervously. The man had missed breakfast and Harry couldn't figure out why. His stomach tightened, and it hurt. He couldn't eat a bit either and now it was protesting loudly. Ice-cold sweat shone on his forehead.  
  
Severus, however, seemed as grumpy and sneering as always when he finally arrived. Only Harry's eyes were able to spot that the lines on the familiar face were sharper, the circles around the eyes were darker and the movements were less energetic that they used to be.  
  
"Today we will study about the Febrifuge Potion, which is one of the most common healing potions," Snape flicked his wand and the list of ingredients appeared on the blackboard. "The method can be found on page 203. It's quite simple to brew," he turned to the class, "it takes less than an hour. Whoever is ready, bring a vial of potion to my desk and can leave. You may start."  
  
Harry yawned with boredom as his eyes ran through the text. The potion was indeed simple, the only thing the brewer had to pay attention was the proper order of the ingredients, nothing else. He saw out of the corner of his eyes as Neville's face lit up reading the method - the round-faced boy still didn't like Potions, however, he hadn't had any accidents for months.  
  
Harry didn't hurry with his work. He was calculating that if everybody made their potions in time, he would have some free minutes to talk to Severus and ask about his absence from the morning meal. So he worked extremely meticulously, which was absolutely slow, and after twenty minutes he stated satisfied, that he was left behind even by Neville who was the slowest brewer in the class.  
  
Severus was strolling between the two rows of desks, making evil comments on Dean's and Lavender's works, taking five points from Ron for his wrong slicing method and another five for peering at Hermione. Harry rolled his eyes as he bent over his cauldron, some things never changed, seemingly. This thought occurred him again as Malfoy and Bullstrode received their compliments and points (ten), however, Harry could see, that the latter's concoction was rather thick.  
  
Hermione was the first who finished her work. Her potion was perfect, the colour was light green and the substance oily enough, Harry stated to himself as she put the tiny vial on Severus's desk. The professor took a look at it, then said something quietly to the girl. Hermione nodded, and didn't poured the remainder into the sink, but left her cauldron on the desk. Severus glanced at Hermione's cauldron and sighed heavily.  
  
"Five points to Gryffindor," he said almost sadly. "You can leave, Miss Granger."  
  
It wasn't the first time that Snape actually gave points to the lion's house, Hermione received thirty points in all in the past Potions classes, but the Gryffindors now looked at Harry as if he had been the reason of Snape's generosity.  
  
In the end, Harry managed to be the last along with Ares who was struggling with his own work, which was seemingly neither the right colour, nor the right smell, and Harry wondered for a short moment whether he did it on purpose or not. He shoved his own vial to Severus's hand, and as he nodded Harry went to the cupboard for bigger vials and began to pour his and Hermione's potions into the bottles.  
  
"Another five points to Gryffindor," Severus said with a grin, "and another two for helping me with bottling."  
  
Harry stared at him questioningly and Severus winked.  
  
"I can't recall I've ever given any points to you before," he said.  
  
"Damn right!" Harry exclaimed and both smiled. "But the Slytherin still got eight points more."  
  
"Seemingly, ineptitude is a Gryffindor trait..."  
  
Harry couldn't suppress a laugh as he glanced at the struggling Ares.  
  
"Perhaps you can suggest Ares to join the Gryffindor parade then."  
  
Ares groaned, Severus smirked.  
  
"He isn't inept, he has just some temporary difficulties in the brewing process for the moment," the professor said.  
  
"Temporary!?" Harry asked and corked the last bottle.  
  
"Well, perhaps TODAY he won't be able to complete the potion."  
  
"And what about Crabbe's and Goyle's works?" Harry pointed at the two purple-coloured potions on the desk.  
  
"They will be the subject of future experimentation," Severus said with a serious expression.  
  
Ares, finally gave up struggling and left, leaving a blue potion behind.  
  
"He put the chamomile and the dragon blood in wrong order," Severus said as he lifted the tiny bottle and looked through it. "Typical mistake."  
  
"Why weren't you at breakfast?" Harry asked suddenly.  
  
Severus put down the vial.  
  
"The mere thought to have meal next to our new Headmaster destroyed my appetite," he snapped. "Anyway, I had a little chat with him yesterday evening. I could barely restrain myself from hexing him."  
  
"Could you sleep at all?"  
  
"Not really," Snape shook his head. "What about you?"  
  
"I took the potion."  
  
"You can take it today, but tomorrow..."  
  
"I have been suffering from a sleeping disorder for a while, Severus. I know," Harry grunted. "What was that chat about?"  
  
Severus muttered something under his breath so that Harry had to lip-read his words.  
  
"Rules? What rules?" Harry asked.  
  
"His game's rules, Quiet."  
  
Harry furrowed his brows.  
  
"I don't want to play his game."  
  
"Not as if you had many choices in the matter," Severus put a hand on his shoulder. "We must pretend we play his game. We must pretend to survive. Beware, he won't attack you face-to-face. He will find more tricky ways. Don't give him any possibility to catch you."  
  
"All right, Severus."  
  
"Don't forget the defence lesson today."  
  
"I won't."  
  
**************************************************************************  
  
Strangely, Malfoy's arrival didn't mean the sudden multiplication of Slytherin points. On the contrary: the sudden appearance of another brilliant student in Gryffindor (and the son of the Slytherin House at that) caused that in two weeks the Gryffindor worked off its disadvantage against the Hufflepuffs. The aforementioned student, however, wasn't in such a good shape. He grew thinner, his face was pinched, his movement staggered with exhaustion.  
  
Whenever Severus confronted him, Harry's usual explanation was that he needed time to get accustomed to the new situation and he would be better in some days.  
  
With Dumbledore as the Headmaster it would have been certainly true. But Malfoy's mere presence in the school gave Harry serious worries, which infiltrated his dreams turning them into nightmares.  
  
Neither did Quietus's diary lighten his thoughts. Harry was reading the last entries of it, and there were only dark events one after the other: the delusion over the Ministry's behaviour, the sins of the Aurors, the slaughtering of the Black family (Quietus had always hoped that Anne Black would be able to turn his brother away from Voldemort), the death of the old Potters, and of many others who were all unfamiliar to Harry, the darkening horizon all over the Wizarding World, Dumbledore's expectations and Quietus's disbelief over his own skills and capacity - the only happy thing, which had happened to his father was his mother's love, but Harry, unfortunately, knew the end of the tale all too well to feel joy for them.  
  
It was a late night, as he was unable to fall asleep after a nightmare, when Harry read the last entry of the book.  
  
The last entry... As his eyes caught the empty, white pages after the rows, he got frightened to read the last written words of his father. He was so accustomed to reading his notes, to sharing his feelings, expectations, worries, joys, that finishing his diary was as if Quietus Snape died again, but this time once and for all. Harry felt again that insuperable distance, which separated them, the distance, which seemed to vanish in the last weeks - it was there again, and Harry knew that it would remain there forever.  
  
Quietus Snape would fade away just as James Potter and Lily Evans had done, leaving him alone in the present. Harry was sad, but he wasn't exasperated. He was left alone, but he wasn't lonely. Thinking of Severus, he turned to the last entry and began to read.  
  
***  
  
The 26th of November, 1979.  
  
I'm so happy. Yesterday I asked Lily to marry me, and she agreed! Father asked me to visit him next week - I think it would be the perfect occasion to tell him the news. He won't be happy, of course, and probably he will disown me, but at least I don't have to suffer the regular visits any more.  
  
Sever, the stupid servant of the dark-minded Lord will have severe breathing disorder, I'm sure, and perhaps he will be so distracted that I can beat him finally (I have no other chance against him in chess otherwise).  
  
James seems to be happy for us... Poor James! He is so generous!  
  
We agreed not to tell his friends. I don't trust them. One of them is leaking information to Voldemort, I caught some hints from Severus during our everyday chess matches. I'm sure it's Peter, but both James and Sirius suspect Remus. Peter is the last person you'd think about. But believe me, the good spies are always like that. If you are looking for a spy in your circle, suspect the most innocent-looking person, and you will find it!  
  
And... there is another thing. Yesterday, Lily showed me a book about prophecies. She was looking for the meaning of my prophecy since September, and now, I share her results with you.  
  
I copy the prophecy here first:  
  
'Through death, you will give life; by your love, your beloved will defeat your enemy. But the Dark Lord will be back when his time will come and your offspring has to face death to eliminate him and to remain.'  
  
She explained that I would die. Well, I've always suspected that. She said that my death probably will cause someone else's life, however this explanation was rather blurry even for her. It will be Lily who defeats Voldemort, but only temporarily, as it's clear from the second half. We will have a child, you, but your doom isn't as definite as ours. You can chose if you want to defeat him or not. If you chose the former, in order to save the world from a monster's grip, you have to die. I don't know if you know the one possible way to dodge the Killing Curse - it's the sacrifice. But this goes not only to the Killing Curse, but to every killing intention. Only the willing sacrifice is capable of saving and preserving our world. Seemingly, it's YOUR willing sacrifice.  
  
The 'remain' part in the end of the prophecy is another interesting topic.  
  
I think you can begin to write your own diary... if you know what I'm talking about...  
  
**************************************************************************  
  
Next: Wednesday. 


	18. The Detention

Betaed by Barbara

Thanks for the reviews!

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Chapter 18 – The detention

**************************************************************************

As Easter holidays arrived, Harry managed to spend some more time with an exceedingly exhausted Severus. Malfoy, not wanting to be exposed, hadn't risked attacking them openly; he just made their life as similar to a living Hell as he could manage. Severus had spent almost all of his free time sitting detentions and study hours, brewing potions for the Infirmary and explaining his past and his Death Eater activities to various Ministry officers.

For the end of spring it was sure that Malfoy would get rid of him at the end of the school year. It was a horrendous possibility, but they tried not to think about it. Mostly, because Harry had been getting along better and better with his housemates even in the common dormitory and bathroom. He had come for comfort only two times, after two extremely brutal visions, and they hadn't slept a minute in those nights: they had been talking or sitting in a cosy silence, which lingered between them.

It wasn't only Severus who had been dismissed. With the exemption of professor Sinistra, Vector, Sprout and Binns, everybody in the staff was told to leave after the term would end.

Harry was thinking about changing schools, and this time Severus didn't protest. The school didn't change too much yet, but Harry was sure, without the fired professors it would never be the same. It stopped to be his home, more than if it had been ruined. It was desecrated, it was defied.

There were things, however, which had been changed. For the first time in ages, the Aurors usual visit didn't focus on the Slytherins, but when Harry entered the classroom used for the interrogations he could spot the obvious hatred and despising in Percy's eyes.

Percy knew about Malfoy being a Death Eater somehow, Harry was sure. It ruined the fun of the whole process for him: he couldn't pretend anymore that he was supporting the Light Side with his brutality. On the other hand, he had learned certain things about Severus and the Galvanys, and their shockingly similar fate (the Death-Eater-turned-spies), and Ron's behaviour and 'Quietus's' reaction to it. So, he cast the Revelo on Harry and made some rude comments about his fading scars, then let the boy go.

The time for meals was shorter too, and additional and obligatory study hours were added to their timetable. These weren't real classes, they didn't study anything new. These occasions were dedicated to doing the homework and to preparing for the next lessons, sitting in a classroom under the supervision of a teacher (who was as bored as them, generally). Harry needed permission to go to the library once or twice a week to do the necessary research, and even in the library a teacher was watching the students' movements with dull eyes.

The Quidditch teams had two times a week to practice, and even the weekends were so well-organized that Harry barely found time for his friends. The only place they could talk was the dormitory, because there were Guarding Charms cast on the common rooms which signalled to the teachers any students after curfew lurking there.

Even the dormitories were checked from time to time, but the professors didn't report any trespasses to the Headmaster, at least Severus told Harry that. The students' life was miserable enough also without taking any the little freedom to chat at night.

"We must do something," Neville said once, in a Saturday evening. "This is... horrible! And Malfoy even cancelled the Hogsmeade weekends!"

"He didn't cancel them totally," Ron said suddenly. Harry jerked his head around and looked at him. Ron, generally, didn't take part in their usual midnight conversations. His conscience was disturbing him too much in Harry's company, and he tried to stay away from him in every situation. "I saw the younger git and his cronies going towards there with his father," he looked at Harry, "and with yours," he added quietly.

Harry was startled.

"What?" he asked frightened. "But..."

"Seemingly, the Slytherins receive better treatment than us..." Ron's face darkened with disgust.

"Are you sure it was Severus with them?" Harry interrupted.

"Yes. Why shouldn't he go there? I've always thought that Slytherins..."

"SHUT UP!" Harry yelled. Ron's face whitened with realisation.

"Come on, Quietus, I meant that..."

"Shut up," Harry hissed quieter, but not calmer.

"No, I won't. I didn't want to offend him. I just... didn't think suddenly that you... he..."

"You're still biased against him," Harry pressed the words through his clenched teeth. "However, if you thought, at least a little bit, you'd know," he jumped off the bed and stalked to Ron leaning into his face menacingly. "Hereby I call your attention to the fact that he BETRAYED Mr Malfoy's boss in the summer and he was tortured for days, even by the aforementioned gentlemen," his voice now dropped with sarcasm.

"But I..." Ron could only whisper.

"Leave him, Quietus," Harry heard Neville's voice. "There's no need to frighten him any more."

Harry straightened up and wheeled to Neville.

"Do you think so? Well, I don't. After all he did to me and to Severus he has no right to speak about him this way!"

"I didn't do anything to your precious father!" Ron's voice snapped, but it has a painful undertone.

"No?" Harry narrowed his eyes. "And what about your quarrel with Hermione when you yelled in front of the whole Gryffindor house that he is nothing but a filthy Death Eater? Don't you think that's a little bit offensive? Painful? After the summer..."

"He was not alone there! Harry was there too, and Harry wasn't anything like him, but he died!" Ron shouted back.

"It wasn't Severus fault," Harry's voice sounded cold.

Ron lowered his head.

"Yes, I know. But still... it's so hard to accept. I wish it had been him..." Ron suddenly halted. Harry felt his heart tightening in pain.

"He wishes it too," he said simply ignoring the frightened look in Ron's eyes. "If the idea calms you down, he wishes the same."

"Why should he feel like this?"

Now, all the boys in the dormitory were intently concentrated on them. Suddenly, Harry realised, he owed some things to his ex- and present friends. They knew nothing about what had happened with their friend except for the fact that he had been killed.

"Well, perhaps I'm not supposed to tell you everything, because Severus doesn't like it if many people know about his life and secrets, but I can tell you a part of it." Ron drew his knees up to his chest giving Harry enough room to sit down. In a few moments the other three boys joined them looking at Harry expectantly. Ron's bed all of a sudden became too small.

Harry thought carefully, realizing he had to be extremely cautious if he didn't want to expose himself.

"It happened when Voldemort caught Potter and wanted to kill him, Severus made an attempt to save him. Voldemort," Harry suddenly noticed that his mates winced at hearing the hated name, but it was already out for the second time in two minutes, "decided to finish them both, but he wanted to make their torments more suffocating and painful, so he locked them in together."

The others exchanged appalled looks, finally, Seamus groaned-

"Well, Harry and your father weren't on er... rather friendly terms."

"You-Know-Who was crueller than he thought," Dean added. Ron cracked a half-smile, and even Harry's lips twitched as he thought of his feelings when he had discovered his companion's identity...

"Yes, I know. Severus has already told me," Harry nodded solemnly to Seamus. "But You-Know-Who had other purposes, deeper ones in locking them together. And they were there for days, except when they were tortured."

Shocked gasps.

"You mean, physically?" Dean asked.

"Yes. With curses, mostly, but there was a lot of simple physical abuse included as well."

"Harry was... beaten?" Ron's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Not only beaten, and not only him. And during the days they grew closer each other, and they began to feel respect toward each other too."

"Snape – respecting Harry?" this idea seemed ludicrous even to Neville.

"I guess we can't understand their situation since we've never been in any similar situation either. But it's some psychological stuff, Severus explained. Respect, care, bonding often happens in situations like that. So, they came to terms there. Vol... You-Know-Who reached his goal with it."

"Stop. I don't understand," Neville said and the others nodded to his words in agreement.

Harry breathed deeply.

"Voldemort knew, from the very beginning, that they would become closer in a situation like that. It was why he put them in the same cell. When his plan began to work, he used it against them. He tried to blackmail them with each other's torture."

"The bastard..." Ron moaned and Harry smiled slightly.

"Severus calls Voldemort the Greatest Bastard..."

"But then why did he join him?" Seamus asked. Harry snapped.

"I don't think it's your business."

Seamus recoiled.

"All right. I just... so if he hates him why... so..." he babbled in fluster.

"You-Know-Who killed his lover and later, his brother."

Silence.

"His brother was that guy who exceeded everybody in this century, I suppose," Ron said.

"How do you know that?" Harry looked at him. Ron shrugged.

"Binns's class. And Percy has seen his files in the Ministry. He had maximum results in his OWLs and NEWTs."

"Maximum?" Neville exclaimed. "It's impossible. Nobody gets maximum results in those exams!"

"Except for him," Harry said and he thought of Quietus's diary. His father had been shell-shocked when he had learned his results. Neville was right. Nobody had similar results in the last century. Well, Dumbledore had, but he attained those results 150 years ago... He smirked. "And except Dumbledore," he added.

"Was he a Slytherin?" Dean asked.

"Dumbledore?" Harry asked back and Dean murmured something under his breath, which sounded like 'idiot'. Seamus snickered. Harry shook his head with amusement. "No. Quietus was a Ravenclaw."

"I wondered why the Sorting Hat didn't put you in Ravenclaw," Neville said. "You fit that house more. The Hat didn't even hesitate."

Harry shrugged.

"Dumbledore said professor Snape brought Harry back from... there," Ron said suddenly returning to the interrupted conversation.

"Yes," Harry said. "Severus tried to save him in a totally hopeless situation from a completely guarded prison. He almost managed it. But their enemy was superior in number and they killed Potter when they fought against attacking Dementors. Severus bought him back to Hogwarts in his arms. He was totally devastated. If I wasn't there for him, I'm not sure he'd survived," Harry finished.

"And what... did Malfoy to him?" asked Seamus cautiously.

"He abused him physically," Harry answered not going into details. "However, they were friends for more than twenty years, and he was Draco Malfoy's godfather and cousin too."

"That means that you are related to Malfoy?" Dean was dumbfounded.

"Yes, it does, and even I'm related to the Malfoy family," Neville hurried to Harry's aid. "You know, the pureblood mania..."

"And I'm not too impressed by it," Harry said. "I can't stand the big-headed asshole. Not to mention his behaviour towards Severus..."

Neville grabbed Harry's hand with excitement.

"And how is he... dealing with the fact that his tormentor is the current Headmaster? How can he go with them anywhere?"

"Most of the time we can't do what we want, Mr Longbottom, but what we have to," Severus's voice was tired, but Harry became light-hearted hearing it. He jumped on his feet; his eyes glittered with relief and joy.

"You're back!"

"Of course," Severus rolled his eyes. "And the conversation is over now. To bed! Everyone! Quiet, come with me for a while, please."

Harry stepped into his slippers and followed the tall man to the common room while the others returned to their beds obediently.

"Don't deduct points, please," Harry whispered after Snape as they descended the spiral staircase.

"I didn't intend to," Severus said. As they reached the common room, he turned to Harry with a serious expression. "What did you tell them?"

"About what?" Harry asked.

"Me. And Malfoy."

Severus was angry.

"Nothing detailed. They asked about... Harry," he muttered. "I had to tell them something. What did Malfoy want with you?" he changed topic.

Snape sneered.

"Just a little bit of a demonstration to show me my place, some threats..." his voice faded.

Harry put an arm on his shoulder. Their eyes locked. Harry was astounded when he noticed he wasn't much shorter than Severus.

"We'll survive them."

"They want to kill us, in front of the entire Death Eater community in order to demonstrate the traitors' fate, Quiet."

"But Malfoy didn't bring you to Voldemort!" Harry whispered.

"He said Voldemort has time. After June, I have to leave the school. They will try and catch me then, because it won't compromise Malfoy's position."

"So as long as we are in the school we are safe," Harry assumed.

"I don't know," Severus's expression turned unsure. "There was something in Malfoy's behaviour... He is lying. Be VERY careful."

Harry nodded silently.

"And now, go to bed," Severus pulled Harry into a short hug. "Sleep well."

Harry didn't want to return to the dormitory. He went to the bathroom and sat into the bench on which they used to put the robes.

So, Voldemort was again after him. Perhaps... this would be the occasion to face him, to sacrifice himself and save the wizarding community from this monster.

But he didn't want to die. He wasn't willing to sacrifice his life. He was only fifteen!

Harry leaned against the wall and let the waves of pure desperation wash over him.

He never wanted his fate. He wanted a normal, an absolutely common life, normal, with the usual pains and disappointments in it, nothing else...

He hugged his knees strongly and let his tears fall.

He wanted to live. He desperately wanted to live. Well, not at any cost, but then again...

The bathroom's wall was ice-cold against his back through the thin pyjamas, and he felt his skin burning hot. He began to shiver, but he didn't care.

Everything seemed so distant and strange. So beyond all probability.

Didn't he suffer enough last summer? In the last 15 years?

The bench tilted a little bit. Harry lifted his head from his knees and turned towards the other boy who had sat next to him.

"What do you want, Weasley?" he asked, but his voice was too hoarse to be sharp.

"You didn't return. I was afraid that..."

"Afraid!" Harry snorted sarcastically.

"Well," Ron shifted and pointed his gaze to the wet floor, "sort of. I just... I was..." he didn't continue.

"Spit it out," Harry said impatiently.

"What did Malfoy want from professor Snape? To threaten him?

Harry didn't answer just looked at him coolly.

"Look. You were crying," Ron managed to say.

"It's not your business," Harry's voice turned colder.

"Yes... but no. Look," Ron was clearly embarrassed. Harry became angry and moved to stand up. "No! Wait, please, just for now."

The exasperation in his voice stopped Harry in mid-movement. He plopped back to the bench.

"Right. For now. Talk."

"Yes. Look. Your father was a spy. Doesn't it mean that You-Know-Who still wants revenge on him? Mum told me about my... relatives. The Galvanys. She said that You-Kn... Vol- Voldemort," Ron paused for a moment, "had their children killed to deter the others from spying. It..." he stopped again, "it means to me that he is after you, both of you, now."

"Precisely," Harry said and stood up. He didn't want to continue this conversation.

"But he's already caught you, hasn't he?" Ron went on, and he too stood up. "He's already tried to kill you, right? It was he who made your scars, wasn't he?"

Harry whirled around, grabbed the front of Ron's pyjamas and hissed into his face-

"None-of-your-bloody-business, Weasley!"

"I just wanted to apologise because if You-Know-Who..." he jabbered.

"Whoever made my scars you didn't have the right to abuse me, Weasley. Why do you think that if it was the windscreen what hurt me, your responsibility is smaller?" Harry suddenly felt too weak to argue. "You never gave me a chance to prove myself. You hated me from the first moment just because you hated my father. Now, you still hate me, hate us, and if I confess to you it was Voldemort who made my scars you will hate me even more, just because we survived and Potter not!"

"I don't hate you!" Ron shouted back.

"You came here just to calm your conscience down," Harry said, his voice was suddenly soft. "You try everything to soothe your agitated nerves, Weasley. You didn't regret what you did, because of me. You regret it because of yourself, because you nearly became a murderer. You don't like me more than you did, you never tried to understand me, or Severus. On the contrary, you were always looking for reasons to hate us more. And even now, you just want to find excuses for what you did. But you won't. Severus has been on the Light Side for many, many years. He was Dumbledore's spy even in the last war. He always tried to save Potter despite... no, it's not important. And as for me – I've never been a Dark wizard. I've never done anything against you. I've never even tried to steal your girlfriend from you. I just wanted to be left alone," he finished and with firm steps he strode across to the door.

"Can you forgive me for what I've done?" Ron asked weakly from behind.

"I will forgive you when your apologies won't be only feeble attempts to justify yourself," Harry said not looking back, and left the room.

**************************************************************************

Harry, again, remained behind after Potions to have some words with Severus. In these occasions they didn't talk about anything important, they were mostly about Harry's studies.

"I still can't conjure a Patronus," he sighed and winked at the Potions Master. "But with Hermione's help at least I learned to conjure a silvery mist, and even professor Figg said that that's the expected result from a fifth year."

It was true. Hermione somehow managed to get a common detention with Harry in a Transfiguration class and McGonagall had made them to clean the Transfiguration classroom after dinner, while she was marking papers in her office. Harry had had his suspicions, McGonagall had never given detentions like that in the past, but later Severus explained him that all the teachers tried to loosen the pressure which weighed on the students, mostly by giving them detentions like that.

Harry then had begun to examine the teachers, and he realised that Severus had been right. There were fewer points taken and more detentions given, and Filch was extremely pleased: the school was cleaner than ever before.

Three detentions with Hermione had been enough to learn how NOT to conjure a full-fledged Patronus, just the usual vapour or smoke his classmates had produced.

"Other classes?" Severus arched an eyebrow.

"Binns the usual..."

"Professor Binns, Quiet."

"Yeah," Harry sighed. "Transfiguration is quite well, Arithmancy..."

"Professor Vector said you're the best alongside Mr Boot and Miss Granger," Snape smiled proudly.

Harry blushed.

"Perhaps," he shrugged. "Professor Flitwick returned our essays on the Memory-altering Charms," he changed topic. "I wrote about the curing of memory alterations and the repairing process. Professor Flitwick gave Outstanding on it, however, he advised me to do some research on partial memory alteration too – Neville wrote about it, you know," Harry said in thought.

"And what did you find? Is it possible to reintegrate an lost memory?" Severus asked curiously, he leaned forward.

"Well, not always," Harry sighed. "There are some conditions... The simplest case is when the caster lifts the memory charm he cast. The caster can almost always lift his charm, unless the spell was cast wrongly, for example if he cast it with a damaged or strange wand, or the caster didn't concentrate properly... In normal cases even the Healers can cure the memory alteration. But miscast charms are usually irreversible..."

The bell rang.

"All right, Quietus. Go. See you at lunch!" Severus stood up and ushered Harry out.

Harry didn't get too far. After he turned at the second corner-

"_Impedimenta_!" somebody whispered. Harry fell on his face, but his wand was already in his hand. He rolled away from a possible next curse and pointing his wand towards the direction the previous hex came he sent back another curse.

"_Expelliarmus_!"

A wand flew to him in the air, its owner tried to catch it with a painful cry.

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" Harry cast the next curse and pointed the stolen wand at his chest. "_Finite Incantatum_!"

As soon the Impedimenta came off he jumped to his feet and the next moment he was kneeling beside a hooded figure. He stripped the hood from the face... and it was Zabini.

Suddenly, everything clicked into place.

"You attacked Seamus in November, didn't you?" he asked.

"Draco said... He ordered me to do it," Zabini moaned. "It was not my idea..."

"You could tell him no," Harry hissed. "You should have told him no!"

"He... he threatened to beat me..."

"You had other choices, Zabini. You ALWAYS have. I protected you..." he couldn't continue. A wand was pressed to his neck, and a cold voice snapped.

"Put down your wand, Snape."

Harry obeyed.

"Stand up."

He stood up.

"Turn around. Slowly."

Harry knew that it would be hard to face Lucius Malfoy, but he did nevertheless.

"What do you think you are doing? Attacking people on empty hallways?"

"No, it was..." Harry began, but he couldn't continue.

"It's not the first occasion, isn't it?" Malfoy asked teasingly. Harry blushed in anger.

"No. I..."

"So you confess to it!"

"No, I just..."

"Well, you really don't need to confess. You've been caught red-handed. _Accio_!" Malfoy waved his wand and Harry's wand jumped into the man's hand. Malfoy raised his own wand and placed it tip to tip with Harry's. "_Prior Incantato_!"

Something like a stone-statue erupted from the point where the two wands met, it looked as though it were made of grey smoke. Harry wasn't taken aback, he'd already seen the Priori Incantatem spell in the Quidditch World Cup almost two years ago.

"Childish trick, Snape," Malfoy scowled at him. "I'd wait more from a Snape! Did you want to beat him with his own hands while he was petrified?"

"NO!" Harry yelled. "I just want..."

"_Silencio_!" Harry's eyes narrowed with wrath, but he couldn't say a word. "And thirty points from Gryffindor for impertinence. And thirty points for attacking a fellow student, twenty points for skipping a class and a week of detention with those... animals of our Gamekeeper. And the next meeting of the governors I will propose your expulsion, and you can go away with that... father of yours," Malfoy smiled evilly, "however I don't know how far can you get... Go now. I'm sure your house-mates will be pleased with your... results."

He tucked the wand back into Harry's hand and grabbed Zabini's shoulder.

"Stand up, boy. We will make a visit to the Hospital Wind."

Harry was staring after them with dull eyes. He felt as if his life was being ripped away from him. He would be expelled. It was true that Hogwarts wasn't his home any more now that Dumbledore had left, but his friends... his teachers... and to begin everything over again... With trembling hands, he placed the wand back to his belt and took a step. His left leg was aching. Probably, Zabini's Impedimenta hurt it, or the fall after it. He didn't know, and he didn't care. He sighed and limped towards the Defence classroom.

**************************************************************************

For his great surprise nobody blamed him for the point-loss. He had lost eighty points in one morning, but he had earned more than one hundred and twenty in the few last weeks, and in the other hand everybody hated the Headmaster enough to take Harry's side. Severus wasn't as eager to agree with him without asking him thoroughly about what happened.

Harry barely finished the lunch when a strong arm grabbed his shoulder so tightly that he cried out in pain. Severus's grip loosened somewhat, but he didn't let Harry go.

"I think we have to have a little chat," he hissed at Harry, cast a deadly glare at his housemates and dragged him out of the Great Hall. "What did you do?" he asked angrily just as they were out of the Hall.

Harry shrugged and began to tell him the morning's events after he left the Potions class. Severus didn't seem any calmer. His eyes were glaring and his sneer was carved deeply on his face. As Harry arrived to the point that he cast the Petrificus Totalus to Zabini, Snape interrupted him.

"But there was no need to beat Zabini into a pulp!" he shook Harry aggressively. "Why did you do it?"

"I didn't!" Harry yelled back.

"Don't lie to me! I visited Zabini in the hospital wing! He can't walk! He has black eyes and broken ribs! And he said..."

Harry paled violently.

"You... what...?"

"I saw him. He told he played a prank on you and you in return beat him."

"But..."

"How could you do it?"

"I don't..."

"It's unforgivable, Quiet. I..."

Harry felt as if a red veil had fallen before his eyes. The situation reminded him too much of the other in the morning. He clenched his hands into fists next to his side and his face tensed with impotent rage. He stood on his tiptoes to be as tall as his uncle and hissed at him-

"You aren't any better than Malfoy!" he told Snape. "It wasn't me, can't you understand? I didn't even touch him! After I petrified him, Malfoy came and attacked me from behind, took my wand, yelled at me, took eighty points, gave a week of detention and finally threatened to expel me from Hogwarts and I can't say a sentence, because he didn't listen! But okay for him, I don't mind! But you!" Harry's eyes were lightening. "You – thinking I attacked another student! You – interrupting me and jumping to conclusions without listening! I'd expected better of you!" Harry wheeled around and disappeared in a shady corridor before Severus could react.

"Quiet!" Harry heard his cry, but he ignored it. He felt hurt, extremely hurt and betrayed. How could Severus believe that of him? Why didn't he ask him before accusing him?

And most of all: how could he believe it?

How?

His internal torments caused him huge bodily pain. His stomach, again. He crouched to lessen the pain, to catch his breath.

Now, he felt completely alone. Completely, utterly alone and cold and afraid and... and...

The bell rang. He had to go to the afternoon classes and after that the detention. The Astronomy class seemed infinite and never-ending, he had always hated theoretical Astronomy, it was too boring in comparison with the practical classes.

After the professor's last word he fled the classroom: he saw that the teacher wanted to tell him something, but Harry was really not curious as to what. He didn't want to talk to Severus, not yet. He was too disappointed and angry to risk another chat.

Tomorrow. He would visit him tomorrow, but not today. He had time.

He prepared for the next day's lessons in a study hour and excused himself to detention. McGonagall, who sat with them, dismissed him without further questioning, and Harry let a bitter smirk spread on his face. Even his Transfiguration professor, the Head of his House didn't believe Malfoy's story, only Severus Snape, with his clear judgement and high wisdom swallowed the Headmaster's word eagerly. Surely, the old reflexes...

He returned to the Gryffindor tower to change clothes. He put on a pair of impermeable boots and a raincoat – it had been raining for days – and stalked to Hagrid's hut. Once there he received the necessary tools for cleaning (naturally, without magic), and he began the work.

He didn't know what to do precisely. The stall was really soiled and it stank, but the garden... It was like a marsh rather than solid ground and all he could was slip and totter.

In ten minutes he was damp and dirty.

After another ten minutes he felt the work was impossible. With every turn he did, he brought more mud into the stalk than he managed to transport out. He wasn't even tempted to use magic: his wand was temporary confiscated by Hagrid, and if somebody learned about his other wand, Harry Potter's wand... No. That wasn't an option. The consequences would be too serious.

He moaned, and continued the endless struggling. He was scooping the excrement into a wheelbarrow when the door flung open.

"Need any help?" Hagrid's voice interrupted his bitter thoughts.

Harry dropped the scoop and turned to the Gamekeeper.

"Do you..." Harry began but he stopped. Hagrid was ushering Leah into the stalk. "What are you doing here?" he snapped at the girl.

"The same as you," she snapped back angrily.

Harry narrowed his furrows suspiciously.

"Who gave you...?"

Leah crossed her arms over her chest.

"Your precious father," she said.

They stood facing for some minutes, the animosity was almost tangible in the air. Finally, Harry gulped.

"All right then. Which part of the work do you want to do? Scooping or bringing outside?"

"Bringing," Leah's said and wrinkled her noise with disgust. "I can't stand this stink."

Harry shrugged. The girl chose the harder part of the work, but at least he asked. With her help, however, the work was considerably faster.

He scooped and brought the bins to the door where Leah grabbed them and poured out their content.

After half an hour Leah opened her mouth-

"I'm tired. Can we stop for a break?"

Harry agreed eagerly, he was exhausted too.

"We can, I guess," he told and dropped the scoop again. There wasn't any place to sit down, so they leaned to the wall to get a little rest.

"I'm not angry with you, you know," Leah said suddenly, her eyes pointed firmly to the ground. "I was just..."

"I know," Harry sighed. "Father thinks You-Know-Who wants to kidnap me..."

"To get revenge on him?" Leah asked and tugging her hair behind her ears, she looked at Harry.

He felt a sudden warmth in his chest.

"Yeah," he said and attempted a smile. He wasn't sure it was perfect, though.

"But... why did you suspect me?"

Harry scratched his neck with embarrassment.

"I- we suspected everybody."

"You were always with Granger. Why didn't you suspect her too?"

The question was obvious. The answer too. Harry didn't know what to say, nevertheless. His secret was too important to spill it, just because...

"I suspected her too. But we were together only in the library. And it's not too probable that she could have kidnapped me from inside the school," he finally found an acceptable excuse.

Leah nodded.

"I see," she sighed. She pulled out a Chocolate Frog from her pocket. "Do you want some?"

As Harry looked at the chocolate his stomach grumbled loudly. Leah snickered.

"Can I take it as a yes?"

"You can," Harry somehow managed to stutter, he felt dizzy and flustered.

The girl slowly unwrapped the cover and finding the card in it, she pulled out.

"Oh!" she exclaimed surprised. "I've never seen this card before! However, the face is so familiar," she wondered.

Harry looked at her with interest, but he didn't reach for the card.

"Who is in it?"

"Saevus Malignus Noblestone," she read aloud. "I've never heard his name before!"

Harry jerked his head.

"Saevus Malignus? But... he is the Bloody Baron! Let me see that card, please!"

Leah put a piece of chocolate into her mouth.

"Here you are."

Harry picked the card and looked at the figure in it.

But he had no time to recognise it. Harry felt as though a hook just behind his navel had been suddenly jerked irresistibly forward. His feet left the ground; he was all speeding forward in a howl of wind and swirling colour.

A Portkey, he thought with dread.

His feet slammed into the ground, and he fell over banging his head into something hard and sharp. He still felt as blood rushed to the back of his head and everything went black.

**************************************************************************

Severus was angry with himself. He tried to catch Harry many times that day, but the boy apparently decided to avoid him, and he was simply unable to reach him.

And he was right. His behaviour toward Harry was unacceptable, perhaps even unforgivable. He accused the boy before thinking it over, and he hadn't even given him a chance to explain himself. He had behaved like a raging idiot instead of the steady adult he considered himself.

What if he had lost Harry because of it? If he had lost Harry's trust and love?

He was scared. And he was required to sit a detention and a study hour. When he went to have dinner, Harry wasn't there. His heart almost stopped. Harry missed a meal because he was mad at him, it was understandable, but Harry was too weak to miss a meal. Too weak, too thin, too ill – still, however, the boy denied it always...

It was just too hard sitting next to a smiling and satisfied idiot – the idiot who had caused his incident with the only person he loved – and eating as if everything were all right. He glanced towards the Gryffindor table from time to time to see whether Harry arrived or not. But the boy was nowhere seen, and Severus decided to act. He searched for Hermione with his eyes, and calmed down as he saw she was calm. The girl surely knew where Harry was.

"Detention," she said when he finally asked her after dinner. "The Headmaster gave him a week of detention with Hagrid."

"Oh, I see," Severus cracked a relieved half-smile.

He was still relieved as he returned to his office to finish some potions for the Infirmary and compose a list of needed components for the nearing OWLs's potions.

It was quite late when he finished working. He had to go to check the Slytherin common room for students who didn't return their dormitory yet, but as he left his office, and faced the Slytherin common room, he felt a strange urge to go home. Just for a minute, his instincts told him.

He obeyed them. Fast, because he didn't want to confront Malfoy, he hurried to his quarters and pressed his index finger on the white dot next to the door.

The door swung open. There was darkness and silence in the living room, he always put out the torches when he left. With a fast flick of his wand he lit them and looked around. Everything was normal. Nothing unusual, he thought, and shrugging he turned around to leave the room.

But something caught his eyes.

Something wrong. Something VERY unusual.

Slowly, feeling an ice-cold cube growing in his throat he wheeled around. His eyes checked everything again. Fire – put out. Mantelpiece – the usual photos. Chairs, sofa – empty. Doors – open, rooms behind them – empty.

'I'm getting paranoid,' he thought to himself. But he had to go. It was already late.

Late.

LATE.

The clock. Harry's Christmas gift above the mantel.

He staggered and he had to grab the chair not to collapse in shock.

Usually, the hands of the clock were pointed Home (for Severus) and Friends (for Harry) at this time of the day. Now, the hands were in a dreadfully unusual position.

Home. For Severus.

GB – the Greatest Bastard. For Harry.

**************************************************************************


	19. The betrayal

Betaed by Barbara

Next chapter will be the last.

Thanks for the encouraging words. I'm really tired.

**************************************************************************

Chapter 19 – The betrayal 

**************************************************************************

Severus was so shell-shocked that he couldn't even move a finger for long, too long minutes. His heart was racing in his chest, and he was making calculations in his head about how long Harry could have been kidnapped for.

What could he do now?

Who could help him?

The answer was clear and obvious, so he threw a handful of Floo powder onto the lit fire.

"Black Manor," he whispered. He would see Dumbledore in a moment, he tried to calm himself down. Dumbledore would find a way to save his son from there...

With a quiet 'pop', Lupin's head appeared in the flames.

"Hello, Severus. What happened?" he asked with a slight tiredness in his features.

"Fetch Dumbledore. Harry's kidnapped."

All the tiredness disappeared from the man's face and was replaced by deep worry.

"Albus isn't here. Moreover, I don't know where he is, or when will he arrive."

Severus clenched his hand in impotent rage and kicked the chair next to him.

"Shit!" Lupin could see as he tried to regain his composure and compel himself to think. "Any others?"

"Only me and Anne, Severus. There were attacks three hours ago. Death Eaters attacked several Muggle families who have wizard children. Many have died, the Ministry is quite impotent, so the Order went to help..." the werewolf's expression showed his exasperation. "I was left behind to look after Anne and receive the calls..."

Severus didn't hear the last sentence. He fell onto his knees, buried his face in his palms; his thoughts were racing in his mind as he tried to fabricate at least one usable plan to free Harry, or to get near him... He didn't see Lupin's thoughtful face, as he looked at the tall, dark man in severe emotional torment.

Suddenly, Snape jumped at his feet and stormed out of the room, his robes swirling around him as a whirlwind, and left the surprised Lupin behind. The werewolf was already about to follow him, when Anne called him from behind.

"Remmy, what was that?"

Sighing, Lupin turned around. For a moment, he had almost forgotten about the girl.

"Quietus is lost, and uncle Severus is worrying," he explained, but his mind wasn't there. He looked at Anne. "Put some robes on, Anne. I have to help him, but I can't leave you here. Hurry!" he ushered the girl to her room. While she was putting some warm robes, he checked his wand and pocketed some vials from his personal cupboard... Severus's modified Wolfsbane. So modified that it wasn't even perhaps correct to call it Wolfsbane, he thought. Severus had spent numerous nights and days with improving it, he knew, and Harry had been a skilful assistant to him, Snape was always overwhelmed by the boy – HIS SON, as the Potions Master had never missed to accentuate. Lupin shook his head. Not now. He didn't have time to think about them. He would bring Anne to Hogwarts, and give the girl to Minerva, then find Severus and... Here his thoughts stopped. He had no idea.

"I'm ready, Remmy. We can go," the girl yawned sleepily, and clutched a teddy bear to her chest. It was Sirius's gift for Christmas, Lupin thought sadly. Seemingly, things were always getting worse... He hugged the girl into his side with an arm and took a pinch of glittering powder out of the flowerpot, stepped up to the fire, and threw the powder into the flames. With a roar, the fire turned emerald green and rose higher than the two figures who stepped right into it, shouted, "Hogwarts, Severus Snape's quarters!" and vanished.

**************************************************************************

While Lupin was waiting for Anne in Black Manor, and Harry lay unconscious in an unknown place of the Brit Isles, Severus Snape halted in front of the sneering gargoyle and sneered back at it.

Perhaps some minutes before he had no idea what to do, but now, he knew precisely.

Harry was kidnapped by Voldemort.

One of Voldemort's most trusted servants was Lucius Malfoy, a Death Eater, with his own ugly mark on his left forearm.

Snape too still had his Mark.

He knew Lucius pretty well. He knew the Inner Circle's order pretty well. And he was an acknowledged expert in his field as well.

On his way to the Headmaster's office Snape had made a stop: he fetched a little bottle from his office with a mud-like, disgusting content. The potion needed only one element to be complete.

"Star-bearer," he leaned intimately to the statue as he whispered the urgency password, and for a short instance he shuddered over its meaning. It was lucky that Dumbledore hadn't wanted the password to be in Latin; 'Lucifer' would sound too similar to its present owner's name, not to mention other allusions...

The gargoyle let him enter the staircase, and entering, Snape muttered another password for the office itself.

"Quietus." This had been the internal urgency password for fifteen years, which allowed its user free entrance into the office without alerting anybody inside it. Nobody but Dumbledore, McGonagall and Snape knew this password.

Generally, stepping into the staircase made Snape remember his lost brother – eve though he had never used the password before – but not now. Now, it strengthened him. He was marching off war for Harry and Harry alone. For Quietus Harold Snape. The Boy Who Loves Him. The Boy Whom He Loved.

His steps were completely silent, as were his movements. His robes stirred behind him without making the tiniest noise, and he entered the office's empty outer part. He was infinitely determined. Nobody would take his son off him, ever!

He pulled out his wand and stopped for a moment, then...

With a loud kick he opened the door, and in the same instant he was already inside, his wand pointing to Malfoy.

"Severus? What are...?" these were Malfoy's word, but a harsh-

"_STUPEFY_!" interrupted him.

Malfoy fell onto the table, unconscious from the attack's strength. Snape didn't bother to bind him; he pulled out the vial and looked over the silvery-haired man. With a sudden decision he lifted a limp arm from the desk and cut it with a little dagger he always kept on him.

Five drops of blood into the altered version of the Polyjuice Potion. It would be sufficient only for an hour, like any other kind of Polyjuice, but this blood-based one gave Snape enough Malfoy essence to feel Malfoy's summoning and be able to answer it.

But first of all-

"_Accio _Death Eater robes!" he yelled and wasn't too surprised when a door of a cupboard opened with an aggressive BOOM and a whole set of robes hurled out of it.

It took one minute to put them on. Grabbing Malfoy's wand to attain the perfect impression he left the office in a reckless run.

Nobody caught him. In the school gates he uncorked the vial and poured the disgusting concoction down his throat. He waited for a few moments for the effects, and he knew immediately, he hadn't been wrong. His forearm, which was generally and comfortably numb since last summer, now burned and hurt. Like in the good, old days, he thought sarcastically. He put on his mask, grabbed the cloak's front and continued his reckless race towards the Apparation Point.

He could only hope he wasn't too late.

**************************************************************************

Lupin stood in front of McGonagall's door, but nobody answered his knocking. His face contorted with worry, and suddenly, he felt extremely stupid. Why did he come to Hogwarts? What should he do now? He had to put Anne in a safe place before acting, but he couldn't think any other safe place in Hogwarts now, that Malfoy became the Headmaster...

However...

"Come on, Anne," he tugged the half-asleep girl's hand. She didn't react. With a sigh, Lupin lifted her onto his left shoulder, his right hand was grabbing his wand firmly.

Gryffindor Tower!

The empty corridors echoed the noise of his rushed steps; the building seemed dull and dead and uncomfortably unfamiliar. Lupin was appalled. Two years ago, when he had been teaching here, the corridors had never been so lifeless and silent at this time of the evening. Hungry students had been stealing towards the kitchen, dates had been searching for empty classrooms, prankers had been unnerving Filch, and teachers – mostly, of course, Severus – had been patrolling around to catch them.

And now – silence.

The Fat Lady stared at him expectantly when he asked her to let him in.

"I need the password, dear. You aren't a professor here any more, so I can't let you in without it, I'm sorry."

"But I need to meet..." he thought rapidly, "I need to meet Miss Granger. Urgent. Please."

"No, I'm sorry. The new order..." Lupin could see on her face the pity, but she didn't let him in nevertheless.

Lupin felt helpless, and the time was running out. Where to go now?

"Oh, _Professor_ Lupin," said a sudden voice, bitter with sarcasm and malice. "You – here?"

Lupin turned on his heels just to face a sneering Bloody Baron. _Just like Severus's sneer,_ Lupin thought nervously.

"None of your business," he muttered darkly.

"I don't think so. I saw you leaving Severus's quarters. What were you doing there?"

Bloody great. Just what he needed. A sneering, hateful, old enemy. Since Black's prank the Bloody Baron had hated them, all of the Marauders, and had done the thing no other ghost had done (except for Peeves, of course): he had been spying on them and reporting their movements in the school to Dumbledore himself.

And with his blasted luck, the first person he had come across, was him.

"Voldemort had Quietus kidnapped. I came to help Severus," he said finally. "But I have this girl to tend to, and I wanted to put her in a safe place before I go after him."

The ghost's reaction surprised Lupin. Worry flashed on the Baron's face, and a strange, foul-like light glittered in his eyes.

"The unfaithful boy..."

"But Quietus..." Lupin began, but he was interrupted.

"Not Quietus. Tom," he said and for a moment, Lupin had to think about who this mysterious 'Tom' was. "He's already killed a Noblestone, and now..." the Baron looked at Lupin with a calculating look. Lupin's jaw fell. Tom! The Baron was referring Voldemort as Tom, so simply? "What do you need?"

The question took Lupin off guard.

"Er..."

"So? Tell me!" the Baron was urging him.

"The password of the Gryffindor Tower," Lupin somehow managed to stutter.

"Brevi tempore," was the immediate answer. "And now, hurry!"

Lupin obeyed the ordering tone automatically. He turned to the Fat Lady.

"Brevi tempore!" he said and the portrait swung open without further questions.

Lupin almost collapsed with relief as he saw the crowded common room. It was about curfew, and Severus had told him about the new orders of the school, so the students' presence was surprising but welcomed. Lupin didn't really fancy the idea of shouting for Hermione, because no boy could enter the girls' dormitories – and Lupin either.

"Professor Lupin!" somebody yelled. "Do you know anything about Quietus?"

Lupin just shook his head in return.

"I'd like to talk to Miss Granger," he said, and to his surprise the crowd parted before him, leading him directly to a red-eyed Hermione.

The noise of the students woke Anne.

"Where are we?" she asked, her voice was hoarse from the sleep.

"In a safe place," he answered and looked seriously at the hiccupping girl. "Miss Granger, I need your help."

She tried to restrain her sob, and nodded.

"You don't have to worry about Quietus. I'd like to leave Anne with you, because professor Snape and I..."

"Voldemort killed my parents," the girl's voice was hollow and hoarse with tears.

Lupin dropped Anne as he froze with shock. Anne didn't complain, she ran to the red-haired girl and hugged her tightly with her little arms. She turned her face to Lupin.

"You can go, Remmy. Free Quiet. I will stay with her," she said seriously, and the noise in the room stopped. Anne looked around. "It was Voldemort who killed my parents too."

Hermione's arms suddenly wrapped around the tiny, fragile body and buried her face into Anne's brown hair. Her body was shaken with strong sobs.

Anne's words initiated a new line of thoughts in Lupin. Anne! And the manor they had found her with Sirius!

"Anne, Hermione, please go and find Mrs McGonagall, you know, that stern lady, and tell her we went to the same place where you were in captivity. We will need help. Right?" 

"Don't have to search. She will be back in a few minutes. She went to inform the other Head of Houses about You-Know-Who's attacks. He killed..." Lavender Brown said, but Lupin interrupted her.

"I know. And now..." Lupin turned to leave but then-

"Professor! Let us go with you!" Three Weasleys, Seamus Finnigan and Neville Longbottom were standing in front of him barricading his way to the exit.

"No," Lupin said firmly. "We are going to meet You-Know-Who and his Death Eaters himself. It's not safe for..."

"We know that," George Weasley said seriously – it was a very unusual tone to him. "But it's not safe for you two alone either."

"But we are adults and trained enough to protect ourselves."

"We aren't that bad either," Neville said steadily, but when Lupin cast a questioning glance at him he gulped.

Lupin stopped and pondered over their offer for a moment.

"Can you conjure a shield?" he asked. The boys nodded.

"Professor Figg taught us," Fred said grinning. "We can conjure some kind of mist to blind our enemies."

"Mist?" Lupin asked appalled.

"The Patronus Charm," Seamus hurried to Fred's aid. "And some basic protecting and attacking spells."

Lupin didn't know what to do. He was about to open his mouth and refuse their help when the Fat Lady's portrait swung open again, and the figure of the Bloody Baron stood in the frame.

"Hurry, Lupin! You don't have time! Severus has already left!"

Lupin moved again without thinking and climbed out of the room. The boys followed him closely.

"You..." he turned to them, but the ghost's sharp voice stopped him in mid-sentence.

"Not now! We don't have time! To the Apparation Point!" he said and turned to show the way. The boys grinned to their ex-professor.

"We must go, you see," Fred said in a totally impertinent tone, but Lupin couldn't react. He was making plans for the next hours, while they were running after the ghost.

"Can you Apparate?" he panted as they recklessly hurried down the halls towards the doors leading outside.

"Fred and I can," George wheezed back, "but the others can't."

"There's a spell, which we can use," Lupin was suffocating. Of course, the Baron had no breathing difficulties. "When we arrive at the Apparation Point, you have to point your wands to me and say _Alligo_. It's a version of one of the various Binding Spells. Then I will Apparate and you come with me. Do you understand?"

"_Alligo_?" Seamus asked back.

"Yes."

Lupin made them repeat the spell several times, then he stood in the centre of the little circle and they vanished in the deepening darkness.

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When Harry regained his consciousness he was sure his head was split in two. It hurt and throbbed, and a myriad of little twinkles were dancing before his eyes. The hood of his raincoat was sticky with half-clotted blood, and he felt that his wet shirt was glued to his skin. He didn't know how long he had been lying unconscious, but it couldn't be too long: he was lying in the same spot he had collapsed: the sharp stone on which he had beaten his head was still next to him.

"Our Lord hasn't arrived yet," somebody said in a thin voice, which was somehow familiar to Harry, and a large amount of relief washed through his body. Thank God. "And we couldn't reach him."

"He will be here in time, don't worry," a deep, crispy voice answered. "It will be a wonderful show, he won't miss it, believe me."

Well, Harry's relief disappeared in the falling rain at that statement. His thoughts were racing. The most important thing was stalling for time, until Severus would arrive to help. Because he would arrive, Harry had never been so sure of anything in his life.

The most important thing was maintaining his façade as Severus's son. With his left hand (which lay next to his face) he touched the back of his head, the still oozing bruise and smeared a good amount of blood on his forehead and face – in case they threw Revelo on him. Sometimes he opened his eyes and checked on his guards, but they didn't watch him too closely. They were sure (and Harry had to agree with them) that after that fall, the boy wouldn't be able to stand up by himself.

Harry released a painful groan and curled into a ball. The taller man cast a look at him.

"He doesn't feel too well, I guess," their laughs were unpleasant.

"And this is only the start!" the laughter increased into fits. One of them kicked Harry on his ribs and his eyes burst open in the sharp pain.

"Welcome to the Land of Pains, boy," the taller man said, and they laughed again.

Harry closed his eyes and slipped his left between his shins. He could barely suppress a relieved sigh. His wand was still on him! And it was still invisible, of course. Slowly, he pulled it out and slipped it into his left sleeve fixing it with his watch-strap. The watch was the first gift he had received from Severus, he thought gratefully. Every chance he had in this situation was somehow Severus's gift. His wand, the watch – and the hope that he wouldn't remain alone.

Several cracks sounded in the dull silence. Harry stated in half-panic that the first person that appeared was the Dark Lord himself. With a short wave he ordered the two men to carry Harry after him into the large, black building.

Harry was severely tempted to pull out his wand and cast the Killing Curse of the disgusting creature, but Severus's words restained him. '_You can't defeat the Dark with the Dark... You have to defeat Dark with Light._' After four months of study, Harry understood his words' truth. But he wasn't ready to die. Not yet.

To stun them was meaningless. He couldn't move without help, he could stun them and wait for the next people arriving to kill him. Otherwise, he remembered all too well the first rounds of torture of the last summer when Severus had tried to kill the Dark Lord, and his curse had been repelled on Voldemort's shield.

His feet barely touched the ground as the two men dragged him to a hall, which immediately reminded Harry to the Main Hall of Nightmare Manor and dropped him in front of the throne. Voldemort left after a whispered '_Lego_', but they didn't remain in there too long: arriving Death Eaters began to file into the room. After ten minutes Harry bitterly realised that this time not only the Inner Circle would be present in his execution, but all of the Death Eaters. Well, it fit Severus's tale about the Galvanys: the traitor's and his family's execution were examples and warnings for the others. Excited whispers and conversations filled the air.

Harry lost his faith. This time he had no hope. Voldemort didn't want to put him in a prison. He wanted to execute him. 'Exemplary punishment' these were Severus's words for this kind of situation.

When Harry looked around, the rear part of the hall was almost full. His guards straightened themselves and their expressions changed from bored to serious. The members of the Inner Circle stood next to the throne facing the crowd.

Suddenly, a familiar, hated voice snapped above Harry's head.

"Did you search him? His pockets? His robes?"

"No, sir," the shorter answered in a trembling voice. "The girl said his wand wasn't on him..."

"Idiots," Harry heard Malfoy's voice again. "His father was one of us! He trained the boy! Move aside!" his tone was sharp and authoritative.

Harry froze. He was sure Malfoy would find his wand, and all his hopes would be gone...

The hands that examined him were surprisingly soft, and Harry tensed as he heard the barely audible whisper.

"I'm dad, listen, when they don't pay attention to you, break the Lord's shield, I'll kill him and Disapparate. Use the Alligo," Severus only dared hope that Harry knew that spell.

Harry nodded slightly.

"And the wards?" he whispered back. The fake-Malfoy slipped his hands into Harry's sleeves and leaned closer.

"With his death the wards will crumble down."

'_And what about the Light defeats Dark – stuff?_' Harry wanted to ask, but Severus finished the search and stood up. To Harry's utter surprise there was a dagger in his head.

The guards paled when they saw the sharp weapon.

"Sorry, sir," stuttered the taller, "we didn't suspect..."

"Idiots," Severus-Malfoy spat.

"Hey, Lucius, you were fast!" Avery stepped up to Severus who tensed for a short instant.

"Good evening," he answered in Malfoy's usual, cold tone. Malfoy had never befriended anybody in the Circle, the one exemption had been Severus. "These idiots didn't search the boy. Look," he showed the dagger to the other man. Avery released a short, sharp whistle.

"Ah. Good old Severus was preparing the boy..."

"Not enough," the fake-Malfoy shrugged and pulled up his hook. He looked at the row of his ex-fellows not knowing where his place was. Fortunately, Avery solved his problem, when he touched his elbow and they stepped to the throne. Severus's heart almost stopped beating. Malfoy was standing on Voldemort's right! But... that was McKinn's place! Apparently, the time hadn't stopped in Voldemort's circle either.

Harry saw him standing next to the throne and he couldn't help but argue with him in thought. Severus's plan wasn't good. Harry didn't want Severus to be the next Dark Lord, in any way. But now, he understood his feelings, his thoughts, his constant guilt, better perhaps than Dumbledore or even perhaps Severus himself.

Severus used Dark Magic to kill, to torture, to rule over the others. These curses poisoned his mind, his soul. Severus wasn't Light anymore. On the contrary, he was too close to become completely dark.

Harry knew that the only aim of Severus's plan was his rescue, but Harry didn't want to accept the price the man was about to pay. No. He wouldn't break Voldemort's shield even though he was probably the one who could do it. But no. Harry didn't want THIS kind of sacrifice from Severus.

THEN and THERE he suddenly understood the whole 'sacrifice-against-the-Killing-Curse' topic.

He wouldn't even lift his wand. He would reveal himself (either way Voldemort would give him to his Death Eaters to kill), and summoning his heart's every positive feeling, he would use the same words his mother had used to protect him: 'kill me instead'. He wasn't sure it would be enough, but he learned that in case of Love Magic the intent was the most important element of the magic, not the form.

He closed his eyes and began to collect his memories of the Wizarding World. Every memory: good and bad, new and old, Harry Potter's and Quietus Snape's memories... Voldemort wouldn't die, but the world would be unapproachable to his wickedness. He wouldn't be able to hurt it any more. Just like his mother's sacrifice...

Something deep inside him was still protesting against his decision, but he tried not to listen to it.

Suddenly, he wanted to apologise to Severus for running away after lunch. But it was too late now.

Voldemort arrived.

Harry's heart stopped.

Severus's eyes narrowed as he spotted the new light of determination on Harry's face. Harry knew precisely his dad's thoughts in that moment. '_Idiot._' He smirked slightly. So, he was an idiot, but at least the Wizarding World would have a chance to eliminate the Dark-minded Lord and his followers.

"We are here today to see what happens to a traitor's family," he began his speech. The buzz in the room halted. "You have to remember this well. There is no mercy for the traitors. There is no mercy for the leaks. There is no mercy for the cowards. There is no mercy for the weak! There is no mercy for anyone defying me!"

An agreeing roar rose in the hall. Harry shuddered. Voldemort went on.

"You all know Severus Snape. You saw him staying at my side for many long years. I gave him power! I gave him chances! WE gave him family!"

Harry couldn't help but shudder again and prayed for Severus's patience.

"But he betrayed us! He despised the offered power, chances, family! He despised me!" Murmuring, again. "And after fifteen years he returned to me begging for a second chance! I gave it to him. I was generous. I forgave his unfaithfulness. But he betrayed me. He went to Dumbledore, to the lover of the weak and Mudbloods and tried to play the double agent. He played his role for long years. It was his fault that many of our fellows died, or were arrested and put in Azkaban. But his worst deed was that he tried to save Harry Potter from my grasp. Potter finally died. Snape saved his own skin. He is not here today either. He is hiding cowardly in Hogwarts, fearing for his own life. But he can't hide forever!"

Loud agreeing. Some shouts '_He can't, he can't!_' Harry cast a despising look at the crowd. Voldemort lifted his hand. It stopped the noise immediately.

"But now, his son is in our hands." Cheering. "We won't have mercy on him. And our dear Severus will receive his precious son's corpse tomorrow morning. It will be a clear message to him, I think."

Voldemort suddenly sat down. The crowd erupted. They were shouting and cheering, waving their fists at Harry and smirking with dark anticipation.

"_Ennervate,_" Voldemort said pointing to Harry. He stood up and turned to the throne.

The noise stopped again.

"I..." Harry began, but a terrible shriek shattered the room and suddenly, all the torches went out. Harry froze in the darkness.

"The Aurors are here!" somebody shouted and chaos broke out in the hall.

"_Lumos!_" the Dark Lord roared – for a moment Harry had a strong urge to grin: the DARK Lord ordering LIGHT! – but seemingly nothing happened. Dense smoke filled the hall and bombs were exploding in almost every corner of the room.

The chaos became perfect.

"_Libero,_" Harry heard Malfoy-Severus's voice and felt the magical ropes coming off from him. Severus grabbed his hand in the darkness. Harry snickered. Nobody ever took his hand. It was a... silly feeling, he realised, but before he could think of anything else, the crowd surrounded them.

The panic increased with every second. People were treading on each other, Harry heard the painful shrieking of those who fell onto the floor and the fear-blinded and mindless crowd trampled on them.

"_PURGO_!" Voldemort roared and a part of the smoke disappeared. Only for a minute, because several another explosions shattered the hall filling the air with the impenetrable mist.

"We have to get out," Severus tugged Harry's hand.

"The crowd..." Harry answered trying to over yell the noise. "We're trapped here!"

Somebody took a grip on Harry's shoulder, but Severus, feeling Harry's sudden tensing launched his fist towards the possible enemy's face. Something cracked and a painful yell-

"He's fleeing!" but nobody cared.

"STOP, IDIOTS!" Voldemort's voice was stronger than the noise. "THIS IS JUST A CHILDISH TRICK! _PURGO_!"

A few of the Death Eaters began to come to their senses.

"_Purgo_!" some voices yelled alongside Voldemort's.

Harry felt as Severus pushed a mask on his face and covered him with a Death Eater cloak. His heart was racing as the smoke slowly disappeared. But it was in vain: the whole hall was a complete mess. Harry looked at Severus and paled under the mask. The effects of the Polyjuice were wearing off.

"Your hair is black," he whispered into Severus's ear, and he nodded.

They were trapped.

The crowd somehow calmed down.

"Crabbe, Avery, Simpson, Grace, Rigger, Fare, Emmans, Sirens, Lestrange, go check the corridors. Our childish attackers are probably there. Everybody mask off!"

This was the end, Harry knew. The movement he reached to the mask was long, and he saw Severus's similarly slow reaction to Voldemort's command.

That was the end. But then a lot of green, red and orange spells were lightening in the air, and many Death Eaters collapsed to the ground.

"THIS IS THE MINISTRY'S SPECIAL AUROR TEAM! THE BUILDING IS SURROUNDED! AN ANTI-APPARATION WARD IS ERECTED AROUND THE MANOR! SURRENDER YOURSELF OR WE WILL ATTACK!"

A very ferocious fight broke out, but the Death Eaters were in the worse position: in an immense hall without any shelter. It took less than ten minutes to break the opposition. As Voldemort saw the Aurors' superiority in the situation he decided not to sacrifice more of his people. With a loud CRACK he broke the Ministry's ward.

"DISAPPARATE! NOW!" he cried and disappeared with many of his followers. But still, at least fifty Death Eaters remained lying on the floor in too bad shape to Disapparate.

Everything happened so fast, Harry thought. It was less than a half an hour that Voldemort had entered the hall.

Harry sat up relieved and unhurt. In the beginning of the fight Severus pushed him to the floor and lay on him to protect him from the flashing and zigzagging spells and curses, and both of them managed to survive the attack without injuries. Harry grinned at Severus who hugged him tightly to his chest.

"There were moments I thought I would lose you," the man whispered into Harry's hair.

"You can't get rid of me so easily," Harry whispered back teasingly and leaned his head to Severus's shoulder.

"You wouldn't break Voldemort's shield, would you?" Snape didn't look at him and didn't even loosen his embrace.

"No, I wouldn't," Harry confessed. "I didn't want you to be the next Dark Lord."

"I wouldn't," Severus answered tiredly. "It's not so simple. I..."

An Auror stepped to them.

"Get up! Masks off!"

They pulled their masks off and tried to stand up. When Severus looked up to the Auror to ask his help, his face paled violently. Harry followed his look and felt as the blood ran off his face.

"Bamberg..." Severus groaned darkly.

"Oh, an old friend," the Auror's mouth curved into an ugly smile. "And your impertinent son."

Harry wanted to scream. This was the Auror from the school who had questioned him torturing him for an hour. Now, he was looking at Severus, his eyes dancing madly.

"You don't need to show me your arm, Snape. I know what's drawn there. An ugly, ugly tattoo, isn't it?"

He waved his hand and two Aurors stepped to them.

"Here's the boy we're looking for," he said pointing to Harry. "Leave him. Put the other with the group."

"But he's my father!" Harry yelled. "He came after me to save me!"

The two Aurors stopped and looked at Bamberg questioningly.

"This time you won't get away with it, Snape. Show us that little mark of yours!"

"NO!" Harry shouted. "He is innocent!"

Snape put an arm on his shoulder.

"Go now, Quietus. We'll meet soon. I promise," he said and with an almost invisible speed he pulled out his wand and pointed to himself. "_Obliviate._"

"The bloody son of a bitch!" Bamberg shouted and ripped the wand from Severus's grasp. "Obliviated himself! Oh..." Harry didn't hear the loud swearing of the Auror. Again, everything went slow around him, slow, so slow...

Severus DID it.

Severus had told him he would do it for him.

And he DID it.

But Harry didn't want THIS sacrifice. It was too risky. He had told Severus many times. It wasn't worth it.

IT WASN'T!

He reached for Severus, but the two Aurors had already grabbed him, checked his Dark Mark, twisted his arms back and marched him out of the room.

Harry didn't know how long was he just standing and staring into the air when a hand touched his shoulder. He wheeled around and the next moment five, very excited boys surrounded him.

"Oi, mate, are you all right?" Fred almost jumped on him with relief.

"Hey, Quiet, what do you think of the newest products of the Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes? The Smoke Bombs were great, weren't they?" George shouted from the top of his lungs.

"Neville was brilliant! It was his idea to take the security guards' robes off and join the show as Death Eaters!" Seamus grinned idiotically (and still a little bit shocked), and patted the pale-faced Neville's shoulder. They all were wearing Death Eater cloaks; Fred and George were still clutching their masks.

Ron didn't say a word, just stood and looked directly at Harry.

"What happened?" Ron asked quietly. It was his question, which stopped the others' happy babblings. Harry was still staring at the door in which Severus disappeared.

"They took father away," he said fighting his tears. "That Auror from the school..."

"Mr Bamberg?" Neville asked frightened.

"Do you know him?" Harry asked back. Neville nodded.

"He was my father's best friend. Grandma calls him his partner-in-crime. But you don't have to worry," Neville wheeled around and ran after the exiting Aurors. "Mr Bamberg!" Neville left the room.

Harry collapsed. His head was aching like the seven hells, he felt dizzy, nauseous and helpless. Severus had gone in a certain way. Self-obliviation wasn't an easy thing to repair. It was Ron who caught him as he fell. He helped Harry to the ground cautiously wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

Harry broke down then. The tension of the whole day, the fearful and sudden happenings drenched him. His tears ran down his cheek constantly, his shoulders were shaking with silent sobs.

"Quietus, everything will be all right," Ron said calmingly. "Neville will bring him back. Calm down, mate." But Harry just shook his head.

Nothing would be all right. Nothing would be the same again.

Suddenly, he regretted being alive. He rather wanted to be sacrificed for the Wizarding World, he wanted the Dark Lord impotent, his friends safe and Severus normal.

"Why did you alert the Ministry? Why did you come after us?" he asked in an accusing tone. "You should have remained at the school. I didn't need you here!" he shrieked the last words.

The twins stopped grinning. Seamus kneeled next to him.

"What's the problem, Quietus? You survived, and your father too!"

Harry ripped himself from Ron's embrace and jumped to his feet.

"You're wrong!" he yelled madly. "He didn't survive."

The others stared at him with wide eyes.

"But, Quietus, we saw him unharmed!" Fred mumbled uncertainly.

"UNHARMED?" Harry now was shrieking like a banshee. "He Obliviated himself to save me!"

Shocked silence was the reaction. It sobered Harry immediately. But it was too late.

"Why should he Obliviate himself?" George asked quietly. "Is there something the Ministry mustn't know about you?"

Harry nodded-

"And a lot of things YOU mustn't know about me," he muttered.

"Things? What things?" Seamus asked stupidly.

"Secret things, idiot," Ron moaned to him. "Didn't you hear?"

"Er..." Seamus risked an apologising smirk. "Of course."

Neville entered the room.

"They took him with the others. I wanted to find professor Lupin to help us, but he disappeared completely. I'm sure he would be able to..."

"He wouldn't, and you know it, Neville," Harry said softly, as his previous anger began to dissipate. "And even if Dumbledore or anybody manages to free him I will be glad if I see him alive..."

Neville sighed.

"How long has he been in the Ministry last time?"

"Three or four months," Harry said. "And another six in Azkaban."

"It's a wonder he's alive then," Neville whispered through tightened throat.

Harry nodded.

A tall Auror entered the emptied hall.

"Hey, boys, you have to go back to the school. Tomorrow, there will be an official questioning about what you were doing here."

"But I've already told you..." Ron began indignantly, but the man's impatient gesture silenced him.

"Shut up, boy. Come here," when they didn't move immediately, he yelled sharply. "All of you!" he reached his hand out. There was a Death Eater mask in it.

"Portkey?" Neville asked. The Auror groaned something like a 'yes'.

Harry paled. He wasn't a big supporter of Portkeys even before this day, but the experience in the barn stall with Leah...

Ron grabbed his hand and placed it on the mask.

"Let's go home," he whispered into Harry's ear.

Some moments later they landed in the Great Hall on the top of a surprised minister and some Aurors. Lucius Malfoy was standing farther away, his eyes glittering in fear as they caught Harry (Quietus for him) standing up. Harry was the first on his feet. He put his arms on his hips and grinned evilly at Malfoy.

"You missed a wonderful show, Lucius. And Voldemort missed you," he said as sarcastically as he could.

A frown crossed Malfoy's features, but Harry didn't know the reason: was it Voldemort's name or the remark about his missing?

"I think your father substituted for me perfectly," Malfoy replied fast.

TOO FAST.

It didn't take too much time for anybody to understand his answer. Fudge paled, the two Aurors were gaping like goldfishes.

The next moment Malfoy was grabbing the minister. He pulled the short man before him and pointed his wand to his neck.

"I'll go now," he said.

"YOU WON'T!" a voice came from behind. "_Stu_..." Mrs Figg began, but Malfoy was faster.

"_Avada Kedavra_!" he shouted.

The time slowed down, again. As Harry saw the woman collapsing, and the Minister's body, which was hit by the dead professor's Stunning Spell, going limp in Malfoy's grip, he pulled out his wand.

"_STUPEFY_!" he roared.

The spell hit Malfoy on his head. As he fell, he dragged the similarly unconscious minister with himself and they sprawled on the floor. Harry lowered his hand and stepping next to the hated man he kicked him with full strength.

"BASTARD!" he choked-shrieked-cried-sobbed. He leaned down and punched the face. "YOU BLOODY BASTARD!" he hit again.

"Quietus, stop!" Ron jumped to him and embraced him so that Harry wasn't able to move his arms.

"LET ME GO, RON! I WANT TO KILL HIM!"

"Don't be like him," Ron tightened his grip-embrace. "You're better than him, better than many of us. It doesn't suit you."

"HE DID IT! HE PUT ME TOGETHER WITH THAT BITCH! HE DID EVERYTHING, everything," he was sobbing again. "dad, dad," he repeated endlessly and slipped into a sitting posture.

Ron followed him and softly, cautiously began to rock him.

"It's over now. It's over. He will receive his punishment. Your dad will be back soon," Ron's peaceful babbling washed over Harry soothing him, calming him, reassuring him...

Harry didn't see as the Aurors step to the silvery-haired man, as they checked for the Mark on his forearm, he didn't see as one of them covered Mrs Figg's still body with a cloak. He missed as new Aurors came and took Malfoy's unconscious body with them, as McGonagall's crouched next to them, he missed as the Ennervated minister thanked him. He was completely deaf and numb from the shock. He was clinging to Ron as if his life depended on it. He tried not to think of his holder's identity, he imagined that Severus held him, whispered loving words into his ears, rocked him and protected him...

Later, strong arms lifted him and he felt something tickling his face and glittering over him. Beard, half-moon spectacles, bright, blue eyes. It was Dumbledore, he realised in his half-daze.

"Dad Obliviated himself," he whispered to the old man. "He's gone. Mrs Figg's gone... Who will look after her cats now?" he asked and felt his tears running again. "Leah gave me the picture. It was the Bloody Baron, did you know? It was a Portkey, like the mask later..." even Harry felt that his sentences were rather incoherent, but he couldn't help it. "Dad saved me. They would have trampled on me... Voldemort wanted to kill me... I should have died, Headmaster, now I understand the sacrifice, I should have sacrificed myself..." his muttering turned into an incomprehensible babbling.

"Shh, Quietus, all right, I understand," the Headmaster firm voice reassured him.

Harry felt as somebody tucked the blanket around him and felt a cool potion slipping into his throat, and then everything went blank and dark and warm...

**************************************************************************

Last: Wednesday.

Hope you liked it.


	20. Coming off the ropes

My dear readers, this is the end. 

Betaed by Barbara

Thanks for the reviews, author's notices on the bottom.

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Chapter 20 – Coming off the ropes 

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"Shh, quiet! Don't wake him!"

"He has to wake up sometime! He..."

"Don't yell, idiot. Madam Pomfrey thinks he needs sleep."

"He's been sleeping for two days! It's unnatural!"

"She gave him Sleeping Draught. She said he was under a severe shock and he broke down twice that day..."

"He can't sleep forever!"

"It's Pomfrey's job to decide when to wake him, not yours!"

Short silence.

"Snape is still unconscious," said the person who wanted to wake Harry.

"Shut up!" hissed the other voice. "Idiot!"

The voices moved away and faded. Harry slipped back to nothingness.

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"I think we can wake him, Headmaster. His bodily functions are better, and even his nerves seem to work properly," Madam Pomfrey's voice was stern and businesslike.

"Are you sure, Poppy?" Dumbledore's voice was like velvet: soft and smooth. "I'm afraid the bad news will push him back into shock."

"No," was the firm answer. "He is a strong boy, Headmaster, stronger than his father was. He will succeed."

"If it's indeed your opinion, Poppy..." Dumbledore was unsure.

"It is," Pomfrey was not.

Dumbledore inhaled deeply and stepped to the bed. Harry felt as the mattress sank under his weight.

"Harry, child..."

"Quietus, Headmaster," Harry answered with shut eyes. "And I'm awake."

"I see..."

Silence fell on them.

After a while Harry opened his eyes and struggled himself into a sitting position. There were only two other people in the room: the nurse and the Headmaster. Madam Pomfrey wore her usual expression: attentive, but a little bit distant. Dumbledore, on the other hand, was tense.

"Is dad alive?" Harry suddenly asked.

Madam Pomfrey's face softened and she turned her head away from the boy. Harry wasn't sure, but he saw something gleaming in her eyes. Tears?

Dumbledore nodded his head slowly.

"Yes, Quietus. He is alive," Harry sighed in relief, "but he isn't well."

"What..." Harry didn't know how to finish the question.

"They tried to break through his Obliviation."

Harry suddenly hugged his blanket tightly to his chest. His pulse began to throb painfully in his ears.

"No," he whispered.

"He is in St Mungo's. He is unconscious."

"NO!" Harry cried. His head throbbed painfully. He reached to the back of it and felt the healed injury under his fingers.

"The Healers think it's a good sign, Quietus," said Madam Pomfrey suddenly. "If he had lost his... mental sanity he would be raving now."

A tiny hope began to rise in Harry, but he squashed it.

"Perhaps he won't be insane then," he said and gulped, "but the Ministry's intervention made almost sure that he, most probably, won't regain his Obliviated memories."

The nurse paled slightly.

"How do you know it?" she asked.

"The Charms homework," Harry shrugged.

They remained silent for long minutes.

"What's now?" Harry finally asked in a dull tone.

"You have some visitors," Dumbledore smiled slightly. "May they come in?"

Harry shrugged.

"I suppose they can."

The Headmaster nodded to Madam Pomfrey who opened the door.

"Gentlemen, come in!" he called out.

Sirius and Lupin answered her call. The nurse closed the door behind him. Lupin hurried to Harry's bedside, Black, however just stood uncertainly next to the door.

"Sirius! You're free!" Harry somehow managed to say aloud. "How?"

"I caught Peter after the meeting," Lupin explained. "That's why I wasn't there for you then," he looked at Harry guiltily, but the boy only shrugged. "I'm sorry."

"Bamberg would have taken him anyway. How did you catch him?"

"I managed to bind myself to him before he Disapparated after Voldemort had broken the Aurors' Wards. When he noticed that he was followed, he transformed into his Animagus form. I took Snape's modified Wolfsbane then, I transformed too, and after a long time I caught him."

"How long was it?" Harry asked. "You must have arrived to Hogwarts after the Headmaster. I don't remember you arriving."

"Longer than a few hours. In reality it took almost a whole day. Then I brought him to the Ministry," Lupin said and smiled softly. "I wouldn't have been able to do it without your potion. But I wanted Sirius out of prison, finally."

Black and Harry looked at each other, and their eyes locked.

"So, you're free," Harry smiled tentatively.

"You- you need at least one guardian, Harry," Black said hoarsely and Harry could see the man was embarrassed.

Harry froze a moment later.

"So, you know," he said while Dumbledore squeezed his hand reassuringly.

Black nodded.

"The Wizengamot declared him innocent," Dumbledore said. "They officially apologised to him. There was no need to keep the truth from him after that any longer."

"It won't give him back his magic," Harry muttered, his eyes still on Sirius.

"I'm a Squib now," Black blushed.

"But you're alive," Harry said calmly. "And you know who you are."

Black took a hesitant step towards Harry.

"I'm sorry about Severus," his tone was sincere and soft.

"I'm sorry about lying to you for so long," Harry said.

"It was necessary. If you had told me, the Ministry had already learned your identity, and by now you would be like me: a nonmagic Squib," Black sighed. "I'm glad you're alive. Even if you're not James's son."

"Are you... Is it okay for you?" Harry asked in a tiny voice.

Black, not being confident of his vocal cords, just nodded. He still hadn't approached Harry's bed.

"But... Severus now is like a dad for me," Harry gulped and stared expectantly at his godfather.

"I know it, Harry," came Sirius's answer, "and I don't mind."

Harry's body went limp with relief.

"But," Sirius suddenly went on, "do you still want me to be a godfather for you?"

Harry looked directly into his eyes.

"Of course, Sirius. And I think even Severus would agree with me about it," he turned his head back to the Headmaster. "And what happened with Voldemort? Why did he flee? I thought he could overcome some Aurors!"

The three adults laughed in unison. After a while, Dumbledore said-

"My dear boy, there wasn't only 'some Aurors'. There were all the Ministry corps, thirty-three groups precisely, that's more than two hundred Aurors. And while they aren't a match for Voldemort, they are better trained than the majority of his followers. He is a good strategist, and he knew their position was too disadvantageous to fight. Perhaps he could overcome the Ministry's Aurors, but the majority of his servants would have been killed by then. On the other hand he wasn't sure I wouldn't appear even though he knew my relationship with the Ministry. He hates risks. So, he fled instead."

**************************************************************************

Later that day his friends came to visit him: Ares, Neville, Fred, George, Seamus and even Ron. They occupied his bed and dragged chairs next to it. When finally everybody was seated, Harry asked them-

"Where's Hermione?"

Their happy faces fell.

"His parents' funeral will be tomorrow," Neville said quietly.

"What?" Harry managed to stutter. "When did her parents die?"

"There were several attacks on Muggle families the day you were kidnapped," Ares began to explain. "You-Know... Voldemort assaulted those Muggle families that have wizarding children and massacred them. Almost every family."

"Malfoy gave him the addresses," Fred added explaining. Ares nodded and went on.

"Even Zabini's family was murdered."

Harry winced. He didn't like the slimy boy, but this...

"Who else?" he asked hoarsely.

"Dean, the Creevey brothers, Angelina and Lee from our house," George said, "Justin from the Hufflepuff... that's all I know. But there are many more."

"Eighteen families," Ron said. "The others were warned in time. They could flee..."

"Dumbledore's group warned them," Fred explained enthusiastically. "As soon as he heard about the first attacks, he sent urgent messages to the others to run. And that was our luck. As the Muggles fled, the attack reports stopped and Fudge, who in the meantime was compelled to hand in his resignation by the way, ordered the Aurors back to the Ministry keeping them ready for another mission. It was then that McGonagall's alarm reached them. She gave them the precise address of the Death Eater meeting, and..."

"Fudge is fired?" Harry interrupted him. "The first good news I've heard from days!"

"Oh, yes!" George exclaimed. "Dad said that until the official elections Arcus Patil would be the Deputy Minister..."

"Parvati is behaving so disgusting now as if she were the Minister herself, not her dad," Seamus buffed. 

"...Patil's first thing to do was to restore Dumbledore to his position and gave a proper trial to Sirius Black," George continued ignoring Seamus's remark.

"I know," Harry nodded. "I've already met both of them."

"Both? Sirius Black was here?" Ares stared at him surprised. "Why?"

Harry looked at them and realised that nobody was aware of his identity in the room. So, the good old lies again.

"After Harry's funeral dad let him and Anne stay in his manor. Later, professor Lupin joined them after he was released from the hospital. Now, Black offered me his guardianship until... until..." he couldn't continue.

Nobody say a word.

"Bamberg was arrested yesterday," Neville suddenly said. "Gran sent me a message."

"And the Deputy Minister brought charges against twenty-six Aurors," Fred added less enthusiastically. "Percy is amongst them. They are accused of physical abuse and of misuse of authority."

"Gentlemen," Madam Pomfrey's voice startled the little group. "It's time to leave Mr Snape alone to have a rest. Tomorrow, he will be released, and you can spend him as much time as you want. But now – out!"

They obeyed her command reluctantly. Harry accepted the Sleeping Draught obediently and slipped into an empty sleep.

**************************************************************************

There were only four weeks to the OWLs and two professors were missing from the staff. Dumbledore – with Patil's support and, naturally, under severe control – asked Lupin to teach the defence classes until the end of the year, but he had greater problems with the Potions classes. Neither he, nor Patil trusted the Ministry's Potions Masters enough to let one of them teach the children – one of them was even under charge – and two other candidates refused Dumbledore's request.

In the end, it was McRee, one of his old friends, who applied for the job, but '_only for this month_' as he said. He was the Potions Master who had checked Severus's truth potion one year ago.

"Albus, dear, I'm too old to accept it permanently. Otherwise, I think our dear Severus – who is the most promising talent of the field by the way – will be better in some months and he can teach from September on again."

Dumbledore shook his head hopelessly, but didn't press him any further. At least, he had found two trustworthy applicants for the jobs – and since he was still aware that there was still a leak in the staff he was relieved that he didn't have to worry about the old-new colleagues.

Lupin's lessons brought nothing unexpected, but after the first Potions class (6th year Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff) everybody looked forward the (hopefully short-timed) future classes with deep worry.

The kind, smiling, old man was crueller and sterner than their previous teacher – and it was something NOBODY had expected. 

"At least he didn't favour the Slytherins," Seamus muttered after their first Potions class.

"Just Quietus," Neville snickered. "Oh, Mr Snape, the consistence and the colour... per-fect. Per-fect," he said mimicking the old teacher.

"Let me bow down before you..." Seamus joined Neville and inclined his head to Harry.

"Leave him alone," Hermione snapped at them. "Quietus was the only one who could brew that potion well."

"Not only 'well', Hermione. Didn't you hear? 'Per-fect-ly'!" Seamus added and they laughed. Even Harry joined them.

"Well, it wasn't really a fair compliment," Harry confessed after the laughter faded. "I've brewed this potion many times with dad." Harry stopped calling Severus any other way. Just dad. Many times he feared it was the only remainder of their relationship.

Silence fell on them. It was Neville who asked finally-

"And... how is he? You... you visited him yesterday, didn't you?"

"Still unconscious," Harry said.

Still unconscious. This was the sentence he repeated over and over again whenever his friends asked him, because the term was almost over, but Severus was still unconscious.

Harry spent all the weekends at his bedside with his schoolbooks studying and watching him lying flat and stock still in the bed. Sometimes, he talked to him, telling him the events of the school, the wizarding world, Voldemort's attacks and everything he could think about. His heart was always heavy as Sunday evening came and he had to return to Hogwarts, but he didn't complain, he put his books into his bag, pressed a kiss onto Severus's forehead and left.

All the Healers agreed that he was the best son they'd ever seen and – despite the fact that the younger ones of them knew and hated professor Snape from their schooldays – tried to give him everything he just needed there. The Head Healer of the Spell Damage department even gave Harry permission to spend Saturday nights in the hospital after his second visit. This fact had informed Harry that Severus's condition had been really grave – and when he had asked Dumbledore about it afterwards, the Headmaster hadn't even tried to deny.

But he was still alive; Harry tried to calm himself from time to time. There was still hope remaining.

Finally, one day before the OWLs Dumbledore called Harry into his office for a talk.

"We have to decide where to send you for the holidays, Quietus," he said. Harry just shrugged. It made no difference to him.

"Sirius offered for you and Miss Granger to stay with him and Anne during the summer," Dumbledore stood up, and put a hand on Harry's shoulder. "You three are familiar with the Muggle world. Sirius said he wanted to learn how to live without magic. You can help him."

Harry nodded.

"Why Hermione?" he asked suddenly.

"She has no family to take her. Her only grandparent lived with her parents. She died alongside them."

So, it was settled. Harry and Hermione would spend the summer with Sirius in Black Manor where the Order's Headquarters were this time.

"But if Severus recovers I will move in with him again," was the only clause he did.

"Of course, Quietus."

The OWLs passed fast. Harry found them simple and extremely boring, except for the Arithmancy exam.

"You will be the Head Boy next year," Ron told him after the last exam (which was History of Magic) as they were walking out of the building to make a short trip around the lake.

"I don't intend to," Harry snapped back.

"I didn't tell it to unnerve you. I just think you deserve it. You are the best student in our year, or perhaps in the whole school. Better than Hermione."

Harry just shrugged.

"I've never intended it either." He reached to the ground and took a piece of stone in his hand. "All I wanted was to live a normal life, finally. But it's denied me. It's always denied," he muttered desperately.

"Who denies it to you?" Ron asked.

"Nobody. Everybody. Fate. Life. God. I don't know," he said and with every word he threw the stone in the air and caught it. "I don't know," he repeated this time only whispering the words.

"Quietus, I- I wanted to talk to you," Ron said suddenly.

"I know," was the flat answer. "This is why I'm here. But not here. There isn't anybody there," he pointed to an empty place next to the lake.

"Right," Ron agreed. None of them said a word until they arrived there.

Harry launched his arm and threw the stone into the lake.

"Why did you do that?" Ron looked at him with curiosity.

Harry shrugged.

"I just... did." He sat down showing Ron to follow him. "So?"

Ron shifted uncomfortably and didn't look at Harry.

"You were right then... in the bathroom," he began struggling for words. "I just... I was... I was confused. About myself. And deluded too. I've... I've never thought of myself as having so much cruelty in me. You know, I lost my friend. And I was mad at your father – and you as well. I hated you. But I wasn't right. I wasn't because... because Harry was only my friend. Not my family, my parents. And now, I see Hermione, Dean and the others who lost their families and I see that they don't accuse anybody; they don't try to hurt others, just because they are hurt... And as for Hermione... Harry was her friend too. And she never accused you or professor Snape, even though she missed Harry as much as I did." He paused. Harry didn't interrupt him, he was admiring the sight on the other edge of the lake: a green hill with some trees. "I treated you like shit. I was unfair and disgusting. And after... after I attacked you in Hogsmeade..." he shook his head desperately, "I was just sitting there and I was ashamed. And... I was frightened of myself. And later, when I apologised then... you were right. I didn't do it because of you, but because I needed an excuse to forgive myself. And you sent me away, and you were right. I wanted to hate you because of it, but finally, I couldn't. And that day when Voldemort kidnapped you, I saw that you're just a human being like me, like any other boy in the school. Until that I always saw a perfect creature – and a Snape of all people! – who was flawless. Perfect student, perfect human, perfect son – perfect in everything. It just made my hatred stronger. But that day... When the Aurors took your father from you, I saw how..."

"Pathetic?" Harry asked sarcastically. Painful sneer crossed Ron's face.

"No! I'd say fragile. You were so fragile. And lonely. Just like me. Just like everyone."

"I have been lonely through the first semester, Ron. Your behaviour drove the majority of the Gryffindors away from me," Harry said accusingly.

"I couldn't help it!"

"You should have thought before acting, but you didn't. You let your feelings drive you," Harry didn't stop the chastising.

"I know!" Ron exclaimed. "And now I- I'm sorry."

Harry sat up and looked at Ron, directly at his eyes.

"Your apologising is worse every time. This was the most humiliating one for me. You pity me and your pity stirred some not-so-negative feelings in you... No, Ron. I don't need your pity. I don't need anyone's pity."

Harry stood up and turned to leave.

"Well. It means that I can never have your forgiveness. I'm humiliating myself..."

"Stop it."

"But what are you waiting for?" Ron yelled desperately.

Harry stopped. Really, what was he waiting from Ron? The boy had already apologised three times or more and he refused to forgive him again and again, but why? What did Harry miss from the apologies? Sincerity? This time Ron was sincere. Regret? Ron regretted what he had done, even if his motives were in the beginning rather selfish. Sympathy? Ron somewhere inside him sympathised with him.

Harry folded his arms over his chest and looked this time into himself.

No. He had other expectations towards Ron. He was waiting for his liking. He was waiting for his friendship.

But despites his regret and pity Ron didn't like him, and wouldn't like him either. Perhaps sometime, when he learned Harry's true identity... but as long as he was Quietus Snape, Ron didn't like him.

He turned slowly to his ex-friend and lifted his gaze.

"You are right, Ron. I was stupid to wait for more than your pity or sympathy. I have no reason not to forgive you," he reached his hand to Ron firmly. "Your apology is accepted."

This time, unlike their first meeting in the Flourish and Blotts, Ron accepted the offered hand and shook it as firmly as Harry reached it.

"I've never imagined you expected me to feel more than sympathy," Ron said ashamed. "I thought you hated me."

"Me? Hate you?" Harry smirked. "As a little minion of Voldemort I only wanted to gain Potter's place in your life, as you told Hermione once."

"But you aren't You-Know..." Ron stopped and narrowed his eyes. "You mean friendship?"

Harry shrugged.

"I meant friendship. Once, long ago. And I'm sorry, I failed," Harry said and departed leaving behind a genuinely shocked Ron.

**************************************************************************

The Great Hall was the usual bright the last evening. It was decked out in the Gryffindor colours of red and gold to celebrate Gryffindor's winning the house cup for the fifth year in a row. A huge banner showing the Gryffindor lion covered the wall behind the High Table. It was so obvious that Gryffindor won – the three Weasleys, Neville and Seamus each had earned thirty points for their rescuing attempt and Harry had been given sixty for saving Fudge's life. It was amongst the first things Dumbledore had done the very day he had returned to his office. Although this year Ravenclaw won the Quidditch Cup, the extra-curricular points put Gryffindor to the first place for the end of the term.

The end-of-year feast was much happier than the year before. Despites their losses in the war's past year, the greater part of the wizarding society – including teachers and students as well – welcomed the changes that had occurred in the last few weeks. Harry knew that the memorial for Mrs Figg and the killed parents and their children had already been taken place while he was in the hospital wing, so the Headmaster had decided that the last evening be as happy and cheerful as possible. Harry was watching Hermione, Dean, Colin and the others, examining their feelings and behaviours and he had to realise that he was the only one who couldn't laugh and chatter freely and thoughtlessly. However, even he had many things to be happy about.

He was back in his House, and not only physically: his mates accepted him totally and without reservations. He wasn't sick any more of sharing dormitory and bathroom with others, even if they had managed from time to time to catch Harry without his usual concealing charms – they had never mentioned it and Harry hadn't found it necessary to discuss the topic with them either. They thought him a little secretive and perhaps not only a little paranoid, but they never harassed him about it. He finally could also bear being touched unexpectedly, and Lupin in the last month had finally taught him how to conjure shields even if it was he who was attacked and not another person.

His ropes finally came off.

Well, a part of them. There was one which bound him stronger and much more painfully that anything before: his relationship with Severus.

His relationship which now seemed to be going towards its end as Severus's life energies were lessening in the long coma. He simply couldn't laugh or chatter happily knowing that his dad was dying in the hospital just because some Aurors... but it was a dangerous line of thought. It brought too much hatred and desire for revenge.

He stood up and excused himself from the table. He didn't want to remain at the feast any more. He made his way outside the school doors and sat on the stairs. The sky above him was clear and bright with myriads of stars but he didn't even look at them. His eyes were pointing at the ground, but he didn't see the ground either, he saw Severus lying pale and weak and...

"Quietus?" asked suddenly a quiet, tentative voice from behind. Harry didn't turn around, just flicked with his hand offering a place next to him. "I wanted to apologise."

Harry lifted his eyes and looked into Janus's. He wasn't frightened of the boy's presence, the Headmaster had already questioned him with Veritaserum and he was declared innocent in his sister's affair.

"It wasn't your fault, Janus," he said in a toneless voice.

"I should have known. I was thinking and I... do you remember the Opening feast this year?" he asked suddenly. Harry nodded. "I told you then that the older Malfoy had visited us during the last summer," Harry nodded again remembering some parts of that conversation. "I think she well... she offered her services to him at that time. And I said I should have known because I've seen her talking to Malfoy. I just... I just..." his voice faded and for Harry's surprise he began to cry. "I CAN'T UNDERSTAND!" Janus erupted between hard sobs. "Everybody loved her! Mum, Dad, I... We've never teased her about being in Hufflepuff or anything..."

Harry felt awkward as he put a comforting hand on Janus's shoulder and patted it slightly.

For long moment, there wasn't any other voice, only Janus's sobbing.

"Janus, look," Harry said after a while, "I'm not mad at you and I don't think you're responsible for your sister's deeds."

"Thanks, but it's not that..." Janus shook his head. "But, Quietus, what if not only my sister supported You-Know-Who? What if my Mum or Dad is a Death Eater like Ares's father? What if everything good in my life and family was nothing but lies?" he hugged his knees strongly, rocking himself back and forth. "I'm dreading going home."

"There will be everything okay, you will see," Harry tried to reassure him, but he was aware of the lack of conviction in his own voice. Janus didn't even react. They continued to sit in silence.

It was finally Ares who found them and led them back to the school. Harry helped him to bring the dazed Janus to the Slytherin common room. When the door was closed after Janus, Ares turned to Harry.

"See you on the train I guess," he said.

"No," Harry sighed. "I will remain here for a few more days."

"Then... good bye and have a nice summer," Ares cracked a tiny smile.

Harry didn't ever pretend to smile back.

"I don't know. Dad is... in very bad shape."

Ares looked at him, his eyes wore an understanding, sad expression.

"Tell him, his House needs him. I... we... I think that in Slytherin almost everybody likes him. Even Draco. And we need him to help us in this war. He is the only one who can balance You-Know-Who's effects on us."

Harry shook his head firmly.

"No, Ares. Remember, once you told me that you are Slytherins and not criminals – and you were right. Even with Severus gone you will be able to resist him and the powers he offers. And no matter who the next Head of House will be, you must follow your common sense and conscience."

"I'm glad we have a supporter in Gryffindor," Ares said playfully.

"I'm my father's son, Ares. I'm almost a Slytherin," Harry reached his hand for a handshake. "Nice summer to you too..."

"Never mention it," Ares's face darkened. "I'll be glad if I can return in September without being marked. However..." he winked at Harry, "I heard the Headmaster is in need of a new spy..."

"NO!" Harry cried and grabbed Ares's shoulder. "You don't know what are you talking about! Don't even think of it! It's not a joke!" and lowering his voice he added, "and you can't be marked while you're a Hogwarts student. And after – you can live your own life."

Ares was surprised as he looked at Harry.

"What's this... vehemence?" he asked.

"If Voldemort learns your role, he kills you and everybody you hold dear. He won't hesitate," Harry said. "He wanted to send my tortured corpse back to father... that night. And... you can't defend everybody you love. And you can't know how long this war will be. I think it's more useful if you fight on the Light side as an Auror, for example. The current Minister is a decent man. You don't have to give up your conscience to work with him. Dad trusted him."

"And he WILL trust him," Ares looked at Harry. "Don't give up the hope, Quietus. Professor Snape will be fine, you'll see."

"I hope you're right."

**************************************************************************

Although he was supposed to go to Black Manor with Hermione and professor Lupin, Harry excused himself and went to the hospital just as he had sent his trunk (Severus's trunk, he corrected himself) with them. Harry took only some books and apples and left just after Lupin had promised to pick him up and bring him to Black Manor at eight.

The Healers greeted him with their usual kindness, but Harry felt something wrong behind their behaviour, something scary...

Severus was really in a bad shape. His face lost even its usual sallowish colour, it was white, his cheekbones were standing out prominently from the lack of proper nourishment. Harry leaned and took Severus's hand into his, but the hand was cold and lifeless. Harry felt a lump in his throat, but swallowed it and turning on his heels he went to search the Head Healer.

"Is there any hope for him?" Harry asked with brutal sincerity.

"I don't know, child. I..."

"Can we arrange a proper bath for him?" Harry interrupted the woman.

"Why?"

Harry shrugged.

"My last gift to him," he said dully.

Suddenly, the Healer's eyes were clouded and her face softened as he looked at Harry.

"There's a bathroom next to his room. With a tub. You can use it."

"Thank you, madam," Harry nodded seriously and left.

He didn't want to levitate Severus there. He prepared the tub and opened the doors, then he gathered the cold, but very, very light man into his arms and transported him to the tub. He closed the door and stripped the hospital's nightclothes from him and put him slowly, cautiously into the bath.

Harry didn't know how long he was washing Severus and crying voicelessly over him. Harry poured all his gentleness and love into his washing, tenderly, slowly, with dignity. He felt as if he was preparing Severus for his funeral, but he fought this feeling and chased it away every time it attacked...

"You have to wake, dad. We are here waiting for you. Me, your house, Dumbledore, and your friends... The Slytherins asked me to tell you: they need you. I need you. Please, wake up, please..." his litany was long and he began it over and over sobbing and choking.

He lifted the man from the tub and dried him with the prepared towels then lifted him again.

But now, something was different.

Harry's heart almost stopped with panic.

Something was different. Severus was lighter.

But it was impossible. Severus couldn't be lighter, it was...

Then, he understood. Severus's body was limp and unconscious when he brought to the bathroom. Now, it seemed less limp, more collected, which could only mean that...

Harry hugged him close and carried him to his bed.

"Lay still, dad, until I tuck the blanket..." he said quietly. "Here you are... now. I hope you're better."

Harry looked at Severus's face. It had a slightly healthier colour than before... or was he only imagining things?

The next moment he was looking directly into a pair of black orbs. They were scrutinizing him for an instant, then they went shut again.

"Much better, thanks," a weak, hoarse voice came, but it was Severus's nevertheless. Harry suddenly wanted to jump, to scream, to dance.

"You're conscious."

"Not for long. I'm going to sleep," the man mumbled with closed eyes. He turned to his side and curled up.

His even breathing showed Harry he had fallen asleep.

Harry stormed out from the room to call a Healer, but to his utter surprise he bumped into the Head Healer right in the door.

"He..." he began.

"... regained his consciousness," the woman smiled at Harry. "I know. The Monitoring Spells alerted me. He is sleeping now, isn't he?"

Harry nodded.

"I think it happened in the bathroom. And he spoke to me too," Harry looked at her, hope rising in him. "Is it possible that... he will recover?" he asked timidly.

"The fact he woke up from his coma is only the first step. It means that he will live. As for his mental health... We'll see after he wakes."

Harry nodded.

"I have to alert professor Dumbledore, madam."

"Do it then."

**************************************************************************

The next time Severus woke both Harry and Dumbledore were at his bedside, and in a few moments the Head Healer arrived as well. They looked at the man expectantly and he looked back at him annoyed.

"Headmaster..." he croaked. "Where I am?"

"In St Mungo's," Dumbledore answered calmly.

"Oh," Severus paled. "Why?"

"Somebody tried to break through a Memory Charm you cast on yourself."

Severus closed his eyes in thought.

"The Ministry," he whispered after a while. "I was in the Ministry again. And Bamberg..." his face twisted painfully and he lifted a hand to his forehead. "The bastard... I could have gone mental."

His last remark made Harry's breathing faster. It meant that he was of sound mind, didn't it?

"What else do you remember, Mr Snape?" the Healer asked calmingly.

Severus frowned his burrows.

"I don't know... not many things, really. I don't know how I got to the Ministry..."

"Where were you before the Ministry?" she asked again.

Frown again.

"I... I don't know precisely. It's too... blurry. I remember being in Hogwarts, then a large manor..." his eyes opened all of a sudden. "Excuse me, madam. I want to talk to Headmaster Dumbledore privately."

She nodded and left. Severus looked at Harry.

"Didn't you understand, boy? I said privately."

Harry looked at him in shock, but Dumbledore put a calming hand to Severus's arm.

"I told you, Severus, you cast a Memory Charm on yourself. The boy must remain here."

"Are you sure, Albus?" Severus sneered.

"Completely. He's well aware of your... affairs, my friend."

Severus cast a suspicious glare at Harry and shrugged.

"All right, Headmaster," he said in a businesslike tone. "I was at Hogwarts brewing some potions for Poppy and talking with Minerva in the library about some order stuff. Then I felt the summoning," a bad foreboding touched Harry, "and I answered it. Voldemort summoned me to Nightmare Manor. I was waiting outside for further commands – and that's all. The next thing I remember being in a Ministry torture chamber with Bamberg."

Dumbledore had to reach out for Harry, because he was collapsing.

Bamberg apparently hadn't broken through Severus's mental wards. He remained mentally sane but without any memories of... of what? Harry asked himself. Of the most important thing in their lives. Of their relationship.

"Who is he, by the way, Albus?" he heard Severus's voice confirming his worst fears.

"He is Quietus."

"I've never heard that name before," both Harry and Dumbledore inhaled sharply, but Snape ignored their reactions. "But what is he doing here?"

Dumbledore and Harry looked at him seriously.

"You have never heard this name before, Severus? You have never heard about Quietus Snape?"

"Quietus SNAPE? Are you kidding?" Severus looked mad. "What kind of joke is this, Albus?"

"You don't remember your brother," Dumbledore suddenly looked extremely sad. "You've Obliviated your memories about him – and I will never know why..."

"My... my brother?" Snape stuttered and gulped. "Do I have a brother?"

"Why did you change sides, Severus?" Dumbledore asked suddenly.

"Because..." Severus began but he couldn't finish the sentence. He blushed and looked at his lap. "I can't remember, Headmaster. I know there is something, but I can't recall it."

Long silence fell on them. Severus was the first to break it. He looked at Harry, but he addressed his words to Dumbledore.

"Well, Headmaster, I'm not stupid. I now checked my memories and I found I have some… gaps in it. But every gap is at least...fifteen years old. Well, if we are in 1995."

"Today is the 4th of July, 1996," Dumbledore said quietly.

"Well, well, well..." Snape's sneer deepened. "So I have lost memories from the first half of my life and I've lost last year. All in all it means that he," Severus pointed at Harry, "can't be my brother. He is about sixteen and I have perfect memories of the last years, except for the last, as it is."

"He is not your brother, Severus," Dumbledore shook his head. Snape lifted any eyebrow.

"Really? First you said he's Quietus. Then you told me that I Obliviated my memories about Quietus, my brother," his voice deepened into a dangerous hiss. "And now, you tell me he is not my brother? Then I ask you again, Albus: who is he?"

Dumbledore looked at Harry, then at Severus.

"He is your son," he said simply.

Harry couldn't help but gape at him in shock. Severus, on the contrary shut his eyes tightly.

"Oh, no," he groaned. "Albus... he can't be my son either. As I said I have perfect memories..."

"... of the past fifteen years. So, I've been told. But he's seventeen. And you have no memories of the last year."

Harry shook his head in anger. Dumbledore was telling Severus those lies he had had to tell everybody last year. But it wasn't fair. Severus deserved more than those lies.

"Headmaster, I..." he began angrily, but Dumbledore's stern gaze silenced him.

"I think we'll leave you alone for a few minutes, Severus. You can get accustomed to the news."

The man just nodded with shut eyes. As they were out of the room, Harry turned to Dumbledore and exploded-

"Why did you lie to him?"

"Because I had to," Dumbledore's voice was calm, but his expression was sad and the twinkles were missing from his eyes. "Come on. Take a walk in the garden," he nodded towards outside.

"Why?" Harry asked again as they were alone.

"What else could I do, Harry? He has no memories of you or his brother. He is the Severus I knew from last year. He hates Harry Potter and he has no memories of the only man he loved either to ease his hatred. If I had told him the truth I'm afraid he couldn't handle the fact that he has to pretend to be Harry Potter's father. He doesn't even remember the oath he made to your mother to protect you!" he looked at Harry desperately. "And the show must go on. We are in a war, and you, Harry, play a very important role in it. We have to maintain the façade as long as we can. And perhaps in the meantime, Severus will grow closer to you again, and we can share the secret with him."

"He will learn it in no time," Harry protested. "And he won't believe us again. He will feel betrayed. We can't do this to him."

"We must."

"No," Harry said steadily. "I won't do this."

"You have no other choice. We are in a war, and the victory and the life of many people is more important that your and Severus's feelings. You're not ready to face Voldemort, Harry. Not yet. It's vital to stall for more time. You have to put aside your personal good."

"But why?" Harry cried impatiently. "Why always me? I'll die in the end, won't I? So why can't I do what I want?"

"Why you? Because it's the strong who have to carry the weak's burden. And I don't think you have to die, Harry. Whatever you think about that prophecy."

Harry fell silent.

"Alright then," he said later as they approached the hospital's door on their way back. "I will play my role. But, Headmaster, later I want you to remember: I don't agree with you."

"I will remember, I promise."

They returned to Severus's room. The man wasn't asleep: he was lying on his bed, his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

"How are you, my friend?" Dumbledore asked warmly.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "It was a little... sudden."

The Headmaster nodded.

"I will leave you two alone now. Please, feel free to call for me if there's anything I can do."

"I will," Snape said shortly. When the door clicked behind the leaving Headmaster, Severus sat up and looked at Harry expectantly.

"So you are my son," he said hoarsely, his throat was painfully dry.

Harry poured a glass of water and brought it to him.

"Yes," he said shortly not trusting his voice.

"How long do you know me?"

Harry gulped.

"Almost for a year."

"How much did I miss?"

This question took Harry off guard.

"What do you mean?"

"Were we on good terms?" Snape looked at him again.

Harry nodded.

"Very good terms, to tell the truth."

Short silence.

"I still don't trust you," Snape said.

"I'll try to earn your trust again then," Harry answered.

"It won't be easy."

Harry sighed and looked at Severus openly.

"I know. But give me a go."

Severus didn't answer. Harry looked at him, and suddenly, he remembered a conversation they had had more than a month ago:

_'And what would you do if I turn back to my old self all of a sudden?'_

_'I'd find the way to get through your walls again.'_

Yes. He would find that way. Harry smiled. Severus was alive and it was all that mattered. He knew this man. He would succeed.

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The End

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So, that was it.

Information about the sequel: if you beg me, you can get it. But you must beg!

Anyways, the first chapter of the sequel will be on(line) or 1/ in the second half of August (less probable) 2/ in the first half of September (more probable).

I **very **curious about your opinions, or perhaps about the things I forgot to explain. Or everything you think worthy to mention.

Waiting for your reviews and mails I wish you a pleasant summer and holidays.

Enahma


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